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H2O:
Nothing to Prove: CD
Back in my XL Strife hoodie and winter-camo pants days, I admittedly took issue with H2O’s accessibility and the resulting gateway to my beloved New York hardcore for Warped Tour kids. These were dudes who actually grew up in New York City alongside the classic NYHC bands that I worshipped and emulated to no end and—quite typically, I should add—I was sitting in my hick-town basement bedroom criticizing H2O’s “real”ness. Kids are stupid. Toby and co’s first record in seven years really sounds no different than their (undeniably killer) debut, still conjuring the spirits of Warzone and Token Entry while just radiating sincerity, walking that fine line between “hard” and sensitive. Tear-jerking-yet-fist-pumping lyrics, insanely catchy choruses, and the requisite guest vocalists all over the record still get me going like nobody’s beeswax. Teenage me would’ve loved this shit and pretended not to. Luckily, current me has been finished pretending for quite a while and can unabashedly run around my apartment singing along, all smiles with a finger in the air. This is just like, the best. –Dave Williams (Bridge Nine)

H2O:
Go: CD
Sometimes I don’t care if a band goes on a major as long as they don’t put out a shitty record. I put this as a shitty record. They were on Epitaph, for god’s sake. They were doing pretty damn good for themselves. I would figure they would have learned a lesson from Sick of it All on their experience on being on a major. This record has a sugar coating that tastes sour to this reviewer’s mouth. I don’t know if there is a Blink 182 formula of sound added, but surely is a disappointment. Maybe it’s something in the mastering, but the guitars sound like crap and they lost all the edge that they used to have. The only reason I’m keeping this is because my wife bought it and for their hidden track of their cover of Madonna’s “Like a Prayer.” I hope they can survive this record. –Donofthedead (MCA)

H2O:
It Was a Good Day: 7"
Two covers here, side one being an embarrassing, punked up cover of Cube’s “Good Day” and side two being a shitty cover of a shitty Suicidal song, “I Want More.” If there is a God, someone’s gonna do some serious time in punk rock hell for this release. –Jimmy Alvarado (Sideonedummy)

HABIT OF MINE:
Self-titled: CD
It says that they sound like Jeff Buckley, the Nuge, and Jane's Addiction thrown in a blender. It sounds like my friend KJ's one-show Soundgarden meets Alice in Chains type band in high school. Surprise! I don't like it. –Megan Pants (Sean Healy)

HABIT OF MINE:
Self-titled: CD
It says that they sound like Jeff Buckley, the Nuge, and Jane’s Addiction thrown in a blender. It sounds like my friend KJ’s one-show Soundgarden meets Alice in Chains type band in high school. Surprise! I don’t like it. –Megan Pants (Sean Healy)

HADDONFIELDS:
We Are Not Alone: CD
Haddonfield is the city where Mr. Michael Myers lives. The horror references don’t end there. In fact, while I wouldn’t necessarily call the Haddonfields a horror punk band, horror is definitely a major preoccupation for them. They’ve got two songs about zombies on this disc, the best being “Barbara,” a quick sort-of-love song from the perspective of the first zombie that appears in the legendary “They’re coming to get you Barbara” scene that opens Night of the Living Dead. In terms of their sound, they’ve got the whoa whoa whoa-ing down, but there’s no overt Misfits worship going on here. It’s just gruff and melodic Midwestern punk about monsters. You know, the good stuff. –MP Johnson (I Hate Punk Rock)

HADITUPTOHERES, THE:
Wild City Honest Dancing: 12”
The lyrics aren’t as good as the music, and I’m not saying the music is amazing. The bass player is fucking rad. Easy to remember as a fun sound, but no songs that really stand out. It’s almost like a slowed down, less energetic Le Shok, which is not really my thing (This, not Le Shok, which fucking rules). Cool to listen to while your cleaning your room. –Rene Navarro (Salinas)

HAIL SOCIAL:
Self-titled: CD
Some nice indie pop with splashes of new wave and post-punk to keep things interesting. Wouldn’t be surprised a bit if they became darlings in the underground. –Jimmy Alvarado (Polyvinyl)

HAIR BEARD COMBO:
Complete Discography (So Far…): CD
When I said that the new Leatherface was going to be the best album of the year, I may have spoke too soon. On the twenty-two songs on this retrospective, the Hair Beard Combo triumphantly prove time and again that they are leaps and bounds better than any other acoustic-based band out there, especially Even in Blackouts, who totally suck. And it’s not just some mellow Leonard Cohen rip that you’d only put on when you’re trying to get laid, they tackle subject matter more vital than anything else I can think of off the top of my head. Do you really want to get bogged down with left-wing rhetoric when you listen to music? Of course not. You want to listen to songs about stuff like grape jelly, monster trucks, and Magnum, PI, arguably the greatest Hawaii-based cop show ever. But for those of you who just HAVE to have politics invading every aspect of your life, they also address the current situation in the Middle East by saying, “I know we’re totally bombing you but it’s totally not my fault, ‘cause I totally voted for Dan Marino.” Really, who needs Discharge when you’ve got the Hair Beard Combo? –Josh (Pro Dudes USA)

HAKIM:
Yaho: CD
Egyptian pop. The press material says this guy's sold millions of copies throughout the Middle East and I can see why. He's pretty good at what he does. The material also says that this is a sort of modernization of an older style. I'd like to hear what that "older style" sounds like, 'cause, being the purist prick that I am, the techno beats on this only served to get in the way. Nevertheless, this is some infectious stuff that will get played more than once. –Jimmy Alvarado (Ark 21, 14724 Ventura Blvd., Penthouse Suite, Sherman Oaks, CA 91403)

HALF ACRE DAY:
Fourteen Trips around the Sun: CD
Fourteen Trips around the Sun is nearly an hour of dreamy, synth-laced, slightly folky, vaguely psychedelic indie-pop. The Seattle quintet’s music holds a certain off-kilter strangeness, particularly in the lyrics, that draws comparisons to Ween’s tamer work, but with a less aggressive approach, perhaps more like the Flaming Lips. And they really like the word “bionic.” –Sarah Shay –Guest Contributor (Hidden Peak, www.hiddenpeakrecords.com)

HALF EMPTIES:
Full Bore: CD
Nondescript punk rock. It’s not terrible, and it doesn’t sound anything like Blink 182 or NOFX, which I guess could be construed as a damn good reason to go out and buy this. You’ve also got to give props to a band with enough guts to attempt a Gears cover. –Jimmy Alvarado (Out of Step)

HALF JAPANESE:
Hello: CDR
God, I haven’t seen this name in quite a while. What you get is some great post-Velvets/Beefheart art pop with enough of a “punk” edge to keep the proceedings more than entertaining. This is welcome change of pace around these parts, believe me. Recommended. –Jimmy Alvarado (Alternative Tentacles)

HALF RATS, THE:
“For the Sake of Love” b/w “The Girl”: 7”
This is more of that “new old” I like so much. I imagine I am about to become saturated with it, but I like the sound of The Half Rats. Good songwriting without irony. Both songs are a fusion of ‘50s pop sensibilities with low-distortion and power pop riffs dropped in. The recording is lo-fi, but done in a way that leaves room for craft instead of just “being lo-fi.” Good songs, executed well. –Billups Allen (Douchemaster)

HALFWAY TO GONE:
High Five: CD
Enough of stupid cock rock glorification! The cover of this CD features a vulture destroying a guitar. Stupid, stupid, stupid! And it sounds like fucking stupid metal hard rock! Maybe there are hipsters who eat up all of this crap, but not this tight-panted girl! Since when have we regressed to the point of liking the same crap that punks used to wanna destroy? Who knows. If this were a cereal, it would be soggy oatmeal with metal filings in it. Soggy=old and boring. Metal filings=metal, dude. –Maddy (Small Stone)

HALLELUJAH!:
Dirty Revival: CD
More gloriously honked smoot from the smoots at C.N.P., and more wacky than brutal, occasionally ponderous and bulky, like a heavy-gauge punching balloon and with a primo rock: noise ratio. Plus: “I Faked My Own Birth,” “Mysterious Finger,” “She Blinded Me with Intelligent Design,” and “Ass Disease Messages.” Smoot! –Cuss Baxter (C.N.P.)

HALLOMASS:
Last Year's Heroes: CDEP
Sounds like a garage-quality demo, but things are clear and the energy level manages to shine through. There’s an obvious Misfits influence embedded in there somewhere, but it ain’t so overt that they end up sounding like countless others beating that long dead corpse. Not bad. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.hallomass.com)

HALLOMASS:
self-titled: CD-EP
Taking into account the band name, the face paint, and a song title lifted from a horror novel, this screamed “Misfits clone,” but they weren’t, surprisingly. Their vaguely poppy garage demo of punk-cum-college sound falls flatter than one would hope, but they nevertheless get an A+ for not blindly worshipping at the altar of Danzig. –Jimmy Alvarado (OBZ)

HALO FAUNA:
Self Titled: CD
It’s a full-length CD of mildly acoustic stuff that would probably sound pretty at home on a label like Harlan or Plan-It-X. The vocals could be thrown in the same barrel as the guy from Alkaline Trio or John Samson from the Weakerthans. Musically, it’s somewhat minimalist, generally consisting of undistorted guitar, bass, drums, and the occasional keyboard or clarinet. The thing that held my interest throughout the record was that these are essentially pop songs that lack any real bite or venom, but the lyrics are also intrinsically political, coming across as both poetic and enraged. I can see the vocals turning a lot of people off at first (as they initially did for me), but there’s something about the band’s earnestness and the singer’s willingness to belt it out there even when he sometimes hits things a little flat or off-key that’s really endearing to me. Best song has to be the last one, “Sunday School,” where they ditch the drums and offer up a sparse and restrained song about humanity’s constant and woeful misappropriation of “God’s will.” It’s refreshing to hear a band that’s political and intelligent without trying to out-thrash every other group out there, as well as hear some nice, often awkward pop music that steers far clear from the “I love her so-whoa-whoa” arena of chocolate and roses. –Keith Rosson (Halo Fauna)

HALO FAUNA:
Durak: CD
There was something instantly familiar about this album, but not in a been-there-done-that way. More on the comforting side, like a blanket a friend knit you. It could be because the music is the sweet blend of folk punk and indie rock that reminds me why I always like Plan-It-X releases. As is my wont, I liked the poppy, sentimental tracks the best. “Exposure, Processing, and Recording” won me over with its catchy verses and cleaning-out-my-old-bedroom storyline. “Infamous Apology” also struck a we’re-screwing-everything-up-for-future-generations chord with me. I generally like to avoid the “this band sounds like that band” style of reviewing, but I spent my whole first listen of this album trying to figure out who they reminded me of. Finally it hit me. The Weakerthans. Which is another possible reason for the home-made blanket familiarity of this album. That said, this band stands on its own. Consider my heartstrings tugged. –Jennifer Whiteford (Plan-It-X)

HAMBURGER HELP ME:
Awesome Garys E.P.: 7”
Twin Cities slop hardcore featuring members of the Fuck Yeahs, Chooglin’, and Sweet J.A.P. When it comes to song titling, these guys are fucking top notch with songs like “Heavy Metal Unicorn,” “Sex Jacket,” “Dog with Ham,” “Boner,” and “Sausage Horse.” As far as writing punk rock that I want to listen to repeatedly while lounging at home, not so much. This largely stems from the fact that there are twenty-two songs on this ten minute long 7”, which leaves most it sounding like random thrash snippets. However, it does speak even more highly of their song titling excellence because they have to come up with a fuckton of titles. They “sell out” on a couple songs that are over thirty seconds and have some pop hooks like “Female Fonzie,” which I like a lot. The day I first listened to the record, I saw Hamburger Help Me at a bar in Minneapolis and, to be fair, I appreciated what they were going for much more in a live setting than this E.P. –Jake Shut (Fart)

HAMBURGER HELP ME:
Awesome Garys E.P.: 7”
I assumed I’d love this as soon as I saw the goofy cover art/concept, the fact that it has twenty-two songs, is on Fart Records, and, upon closer inspection, appears to be a new incarnation of The Fuck Yeahs. Then I put it on, heard that they sound like a cross between Henry Fiat’s Open Sore and Teengenerate, and confirmed it. Absolutely fantastic stuff. Most bands that would try something like this would probably just sound like a mess, but this is some great garage-meets-power-thrash. –Joe Evans III (Fart)

HAMMER BROS:
II: 7”
Boston straight edge hardcore, heavy on the metal. Good for what it is, but ain’t my bag of worms. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.str8ntrue.com)

HAMMER BROS.:
The Vitality: LP
Decent NYHC via Boston from this outfit. Thick sound, tuneful, and heavy without being metal. Somewhere between the likes of Madball and Breakdown. They should have left the Cro-Mags cover (“Don’t Tread on Me”) off this though, as it’s a tepid attempt and detracts from the overall impact of the originals. Which, as said at the beginning, aren’t half bad. –Matt Average (F.N.S.)

HAMMERDOWN TURPENTINE:
Ain: CD
Starts off with some matter of heaving, fiddle-augmented grunge gospel number with vocal breaks that sound like Tenpole Tudor gone preacher-man. Becomes swiftly more banjo-flavored thereafter. BEST SONG: "Ain't No Grave" BEST SONG TITLE: "Fare Ye Well" FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Band contains member called "Jif Johnson" –Rev. Norb (Blue Bus)

HAMMERDOWN TURPENTINE:
Ain’t No Grave: CD
I really think the infamous Bradley Williams of this here mag would love this since I can’t do any justice to this band. I’m going to send it his way. My quick description would be a down and dirty swamp boogie experience with the cow punk twang. –Donofthedead (Blue Bus)

HAMMERHEAD:
Stay Where the Pepper Grows: LP
A reissue of what the liner notes intimate is one of the most important German hardcore releases of the ‘90s. Sound is very much along the lines of later, slower Poison Idea, which was never my favorite period of that band, so this ain’t exactly eliciting a “FUCK YEAH!” the way their countrymen Inferno continue to do some twenty years down the line. On the whole, this is loud, and if that’s pretty much all yer lookin’ for, this is indeed “classic.” –Jimmy Alvarado (www.x-mist.de)

HAMMERLOCK:
True Grit: The First Five Years: CD
Oh, Hammerlock. I used to listen to a lot of this stuff in the late ‘90s and early into this decade. This band and songs seem to hold up a lot better than I might have expected and better than a lot of their contemporaries. This disc has my favorite tune ever by Hammerlock, “Cold Coors.” A great bar rocker with an awesome mid-tempo sound and a big catchy chorus. I wish they would write more like that. That is where they are at their best; mid tempo and rockin’. Pretty much dug all of these tunes though after not hearing them for a good five years or so. This is a collection of their out of print first two albums on Man’s Ruin so there is a total of 29 songs on here. A pretty good deal for your buck. Real cool Steve Earle and Merle Haggard covers to boot. –Mike Frame (Steel Cage)

HAMMERLOCK:
Forgotten Range: CD
I will be goddamned if Hammerlock don’t manage to win me over every time. I am sick to death of macho, shock value punk and rock but something about this band just seems to click. This is some more great country-influenced Southern rock with a punk edge to it. They write great songs and it is nice to hear Liza singing a little more here. Hope to see some more of that. My only complaint is that this is nineteen songs, which is just too much. I would rather hear ten tunes that I can play over and over again and then get another ten on the next record. I don’t have the stamina for a record this long, no matter who writes it. I will also admit I get a little tired of the complaints of how they hate PC liberals and yet continue to live in San Francisco. Seems like there are a lot of cheaper places to live where folks might be more up their alley. I guess it is a constant inspiration for lyrics and songs, though. Some real strong tunes on here and with Simon Stokes as a songwriting and vocal helper, you know this is top notch. I think that is what really locks this in for me; I am a huge Simon Stokes fan and I feel like Hammerlock are definitely taking the torch from him and running with it. That’s the thing; Hammerlock takes the time to write actual songs and not just bash you over the head with how badass they are or how “shocking” they are. I would love to hear Travis and Liza do up an album of country duets. That would be something to hear. Another pleasant surprise here. –Mike Frame (Steel Cage)

HAMMERLOCK:
Barefoot & Pregnant: CD
This enhanced re-release of the now classic 2000 album by San Francisco Confederacy of Scum band Hammerlock includes three bonus tracks and a hilarious music video. The Bay Area may seem like an unlikely place for this un-PC, country punk band to emerge from, but Hammerlock has stood the test of time and this album is even better than I’d remembered. Barefoot & Pregnant brings back memories of when C.O.S. bands like Hellstomper, Cocknoose, and Limecell were churning out release after release in rapid-fire succession. Of all of the C.O.S. bands, none embraced hick humor more than Hammerlock. You can almost smell mud and manure from the CD player as this motherfucker spins. –Art Ettinger (Steel Cage)

HAMMERLOCK:
Barefoot and Pregnant: CD
WOO HOO! More redneck punk! I’m not a redneck (at least I don’t think so), so I’m not sure why I like this style of music so much. Maybe it reminds me of growing up in a small Florida town where the parties we went to had things going on such as pig guttin’, turtle fryin’, gator killin’, bon-fire jumpin’, hunting dog tree trimmin’, 4x4in’ and dog jerkin’ (yes, that’s correct. I knew a guy who would jerk his dog off for fun at parties). How could I not enjoy having something to listen to to bring me back to those times? Hammerlock is one of the better redneck/punk/country/rock’n’roll bands I have heard. They have a great ability to combine the songwritin’/storytellin’ style of old school country artists with the hard driven punk rock’n’roll of today. They even pay tribute to some country greats by covering Willie Nelson and Waylon Jenning’s “Good Hearted Woman” and Charlie Daniel’s “Long Haired Country Boy.” Their first track also has samples of Willie and Kris Kristofferson reading samples of old west writer Louis Lamour’s Riding for the Brand. Although you can tell they have deep roots in country, they have a hard rock’n’roll influence as well. This makes for some great foot stompin’ and head bangin’ music. The cover has a great pic of a pregnant girl in the kitchen wearing a half-shirt, holding a frying pan in one hand and a shotgun in the other. Very sexy. (Maybe I’m a redneck in denial.) If this stuff appeals to you, check them out. If you like them, contact me and we’ll have to drink Milwaukee’s Best and go mud boggin’. But I ain’t jerkin’off no dog. –Toby Tober (Steel Cage)

HAMMERLOCK/LIMECELL:
Split: 7”
“Die Hard” is the single by Hammerlock. Hammerlock is a great hard-ass southern rock band but this is not one of their better songs. I think I just listened to it for the last time. Limecell, another great band in the same category as Hammerlock, have the better side. “Buried Alive” and “Live Like an Angel, Die Like a Devil” are their songs. The first drags too much but the second is up to par for them. I’d go buy any of their CDs and ignore this. –Toby Tober ()

HAND GRENADE SERENADE:
A Black Market Band: CD
This makes me remember what it was like to be in my early twenties: kinda melodramatic where everything had a life or death desperation. The message on some of the songs is right on, but the screechy emo vocals combined with limp guitars didn’t really do it for me. Plus, getting wasted and fucking in graveyards is sung about like it’s a taboo novelty, rather than juvenile. –Kristen K (Son Of Bronson)

HANDGUN BRAVADO:
These Days Move Fast: CD
I popped this in the player while driving through the high desert between LA and Vegas. In my opinion it’s one of the best places to listen to music. Everything is so vast that you kind of have to focus on something, music usually being my choice. Handgun Bravado have something interesting going on here. On most of the tracks the guitar seems to be rhythm guitar, but with nothing taking up the lead. It doesn’t feel like there’s anything missing, and the tracks that have a lead guitar just feel a bit fuller, not better. Vocals reminiscent of Danny Elfman’s days with Oingo Boingo, and the music has a Bad Religion feel to it. Interesting approach and not a bad listen at all. –Megan Pants (Firefly)

HANDS OF DEATH / MANKILLSMAN:
Self-titled: Split CD
Hands of Death: Napalm Death kind o’ metal, which is usually hit or miss with me, and this one sort of falls between the crack of hit and miss. If you like that sound, you’ll like Hands of Death, I’m sure. Mankillsman: Neurosis/Mammoth kind o’ stuff. Not normally the cup of tea that sends me off into my day. If you like that sound, you’ll like Mankillsman, I’m sure. Transmission complete. –The Lord Kveldulfr (Laklika)

HANG JONES:
The Ballad of Carlsbad Country: CD
Mellow and moody Americana. Well-worn, deep vocals, melancholic fiddles, acoustic guitar, and an accordion add to the turn-of-the-20^th-century Southern gothic/western tone. –Jessica Thiringer (hangjones.com)

HANGOUTS, THE:
Turn Up the Bird: CDEP
In theory, not entirely unlike X. In execution, not entirely unlike the Soviettes. In apprehension, how like a god. (That’s a little Shakespeare humor for you English majors out there.) My only problem with this is the production on the vocals. There’s a slight twang that makes it hard to swallow for me. If these songs were rerecorded during a different session, this would probably be a great EP. In summary, good band, good songs, bad recording. –Bryan Static (Sinkhole Texas)

HANK IV:
Dirty Poncho b/w Symptomatic: 7”
Also known as the Hank Four. Five guys from San Fran bash out well done, legit, raw garage punk akin to the Lazy Cowgirls, Devil Dogs, et al. No fuss, no muss, no questions, just rock. –Jessica Thiringer (Plastic Idol)

HANK PLANK & THE 2x4s:
Venus Hair Trap: CD
Hot damn, these rural white-trash ruffians proudly produce a rowdy, rip-snortin’, horndog hootenanny of full-fledged, grade-A, countrified aural joviality! It’s backwoods, banjo-fuelled, “Deliverance”-style sonic sinfulness that’ll make the devil feverishly dance a jig in the shadowy pale moonlight with a hedonistic honky-tonk mama. During a couple of the dandy delightful ditties, a frenetically out-of-control fiddle shreds the inner sanctums of my ears with its wildly swirling banshee-wail of screeching insanity. Sure as shit, this is some sourmash-stewin’, moonshine-brewin’ mountain music that’ll quiver your liver, twist your titties in a knot, and knock your dick in the dirt somethin’ fierce! So hey now, Junior, just do this for ol’ Rog right this very minute: grab your partner and swing her around, tap your toes, then go to town, and when you get to town, lay your money down (for the saucy swaggerin’ sounds of Hank Plank and his 2x4 compadres, of course!). Yeeeee-fuckin’-haw, this is damn near as invigoratin’ as passionate, sweat-drenched sex with a farm-bred girl in a tub full of Jim Beam and maple syrup! –Guest Contributor (no contact address)

HANNA HIRSCH:
Live in Space: CD
Contrary to what this is titled, it’s not actually recorded in space. I know, I was disappointed too. And even though I feel let down, at least the music is totally good. Think if the Measure [SA] was fronted by Nina Hagen and they had a keyboard player who knew his limits. Just what I needed, another Swedish band to pay too much attention to. –Daryl Gussin (hh@hannahirsch.com)

HANNA HIRSCH:
Tala Svart: CD
The Sugarcubes, apparently, started out as a punk band. This was way before Björk became a venture capitalist. What does this have to do with Stockholm, Sweden’s Hanna Hirsch? Hanna Hirsch is bridled to a similar undeniable pop sensibility—like a river of silver—pulsing in the heartbeat of these undeniably contemporary punk songs. The recording sounds icy; shatteringly icy, like it was done in a vacuum, in space. It’s that infinity that gives the entire record a stretched-out, palpable desperation. Bladerunner android vocals, stainless steel-sounding synthesizers, organic, thudding drums, and glistening, serrated, barbed-wire-of-the-future guitars crash and crunch together. Even when they slow down and get quiet, it’s tense and pretty as all hell. Excellent. Well worth a long hunt. –Todd Taylor (Diskret Förlag, www.diskretforlag.com)

HANNA HIRSCH:
Tala Svart: LP
Finally available on vinyl, this record is an ice princess amongst snow mutants. Siri has such a powerful, pleasant voice while Anders, Johan, Lars, and Andy crank out the Scandi-rock. Imagine El Banda, The Assassinators, or La Fraction filtered through some Swedish sensibility and served up with some non-intrusive keyboard. Beautiful, both in sound and concept. For the last couple years the CD has been in regular rotation around Razorcake HQ, and I can’t see it falling out anytime soon. –Daryl Gussin (Adagio 830)

HANNA HIRSCH / YOUNG FIT MALES:
Split: 7" EP
Young Fit Males: Oh, Sweden, land of fancy packaging and a currency that is whipping the American dollar into peso-like proportions. As America’s empire quickly returns to the dust of broken promises on the fault lines of colonialism-style hubris, Sweden’s been busy backing their cultural arts and thus come the dividends. There’s some connection between Young Fit Males, Fy Fan, and Svartenbrandt, but I’m not sure what it is. What I do know is that these folks play spot-on melodic hardcore. Not the assy stuff; muscular music that could be reinterpreted as either folk or power pop in other hands; just nice, meaty charges-ahead with Wipers-like guitar. Hanna Hirsch: If the band goes on the life cycle of The Vicious, right when I get my level of enthusiasm to reach “apeshit,” they’ll probably break up…. Dunno if they have, but their two songs commandeer the bouncy ball goodness of Knugen Faller: one foot in good 1977, one cable plugged into the not-too-distant future; connecting the icy space of early Wire to the on-the-spotness of Gorilla Angreb through the switchboard of “man, this is good. I’m sure it’s going to be a sonofabitch to find.” –Todd Taylor (Self-released)

HANNAH HIRSCH:
Fireworks in the Daylight: 7” EP
When a band says they listen to “a lot of Blondie and Discharge,” one feels the need to pay attention. What they’ve concocted from those influences is pleasant enough pop with loud guitars and a few minor chords. Not bad, but kinda expected a bit more. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.hannahirsch.com)

HANNER:
No Guts, No Gravy: CD
A lady playing acoustic folky stuff with a lot of charm. I really like it, but there's not a whole lot to say besides "acoustic folky stuff." –Josh (Unsound)

HANNIS BROWN:
Oh Ah Ee: CD
Hannis Brown considers the tracks on his CD to be compositions and, based on his background in doing soundtrack work, I can see why he would describe them as such. The songs don’t seem to have much sing-along potential; many of them remind me of what might happen if the Velvet Underground and Stravinsky’s “The Rite of Spring” had a bastard child. I suppose that’s not a bad thing, but it is certainly related more to experimental and free jazz genres than anything of the rock and roll persuasion. –Kurt Morris (hannisbrown.com)

HANSON BROTHERS:
It’s a Living: CD/DVD
Both hockey and punk rock have been a part of my life since I was a kid. It only seems natural that the Hanson Brothers would be one of my favorite bands. If you’re not in the know, Hanson Brothers are the alter ego of Canuck punk legends Nomeansno. They’re a mutant blend of the Ramones and the foiled-up goons from the movie Slapshot. This is Hanson’s first live record and continues with their tradition of spoofing classic album covers by doing Ramones’ It’s Alive this time around. The sound quality is amazing and really captures the insanity of a Hanson’s show. All the classics from the band’s first three records are here and, as a bonus, there is some hilarious radio clips from an interview with guitarist Tommy Hanson. The flip side of the disc is a DVD of the band’s long out-of-print video All Grain Brewing with Johnny Hanson with features detailed instruction on brewing your own beer, as well as plenty of clips of the band playing “HEY YOU—LET’S BREW!” –Ty Stranglehold (Wrong)

HAPPENING, THE:
Shit Happens: CD
An ultra-tight halfway mix between The Eyeliners and Discount by a power trio fronted by two Japanese ladies who are concerned with world and personal politics. I have a feeling they can play their instruments behind their backs, or upside down, or in the shower, yet there’s enough playfulness and art-kept-in-check pretensions that’s very appealing. When they slow it down, the songs actually breathe in and out and have nice flourishes, instead of repeating in a lock step. Shit Happens’ got a very clean pop rock’n’roll feel that at first didn’t get me, but on the headphones, there’s no dead spots, so it’s much better than first blush. I always enjoy the translations (it’s sung in accented English): “The punch lines goes disarm or we’ll break you arm/ We’ve got what it takes to wipe a whole country.” Although not earth shattering, a welcome listen. This would fit right in on Crackle Records out of England, if that helps. –Todd Taylor (The Happening)

HAPPY ANARCHY:
Reset: CD
Picked this outta the pile ‘cause I figured with the name as delightfully lame as “Happy Anarchy,” it would be good for a laugh. As a result, I was wholly unprepared for how appropriate the use of the term “anarchy” is in reference to their music: these guys literally throw everything, including the kitchen sink—swirling shoegazer atmospherics, ELO over-the-top bluster, Beatle/Beach Boy-damaged backing vocals, reggae, rock en Español, keyboards, horns—into a pop-coated blender and let it fly, and that’s only over the course of the first four songs. Most impressive, however, is that it’s good, fucking gloriously so, which, frankly, is a pretty rare thing for a rock band these days. Their musicianship is top-notch, the songwriting is really strong, the lyrics are intelligent—everything about this band shows they really put some quality work into what they’re doing—and the anarchic genre melding is reminiscent (if only in attitude) of bands like Argentina’s Bersuit Vergarabat. This is one of those bands you wish would hit the mainstream with a vengeance, but either get lost in the cracks or promptly lose their way if/when they do. I know I’m gonna catch a lotta shit with the fuckwits who are upset because I’ll find little memorable in an nth-generation carbon copy of Youth Of Today yet champion a decidedly unpunk band like this, but fuck ‘em. These guys may not be “punk,” but they sure as hell ain’t afraid to take the same kinda risks that made bands like Big Boys, Butthole Surfers, MIA, Wire, early Dead Kennedys, Fugazi, and a host of others truly great. –Jimmy Alvarado (Highlark)

HAPPY BASTARDS:
Box of Hard Knocks: CD
Nice blend of hardcore and melody here. Singer alternately sounds like Penelope Houston and Belinda Carlisle, which makes one wonder what the Avengers would’ve sounded like had they thrashed it up a bit. Good stuff. –Jimmy Alvarado (Profane Existence )

HAPPY BASTARDS / KISMET HC:
Split: 7"
I have to admit that I have had this for sometime in my personal collection. But it has gotten buried in the huge stack of need to listen to records on the floor. Being a record nerd can be counterproductive in your need to listen to new music when you really don’t have a lot of time to just listen to music. Getting a review copy kicked me in the nads to finally hear this. Happy Bastards: This is my first time listening to this band. I didn’t purchase the full length that was put out by Profane Existence. If this is a sample of what might be on the full length, I need to get off my ass and buy it. It’s fierce and fast punk with female vocals that kind of made me think of what a band like Signal Lost would sound like if they played fast. The vocals are audible and not overly screamed. The production has a very live feel and sounds bright. I get feelings of early ‘79 California punk mixed with some of the hardcore of ‘83. Kismet HC: A band that has been around for sometime now, hailing from the U.K. They really leave an impression on their side of the split. It’s full blast and teetering on mass collision punk that feels blistering. It made me feel like I was having irregular heartbeats. Something about the music made me feel manic. Female vocals that made me feel I had to stand at attention and just listen. Guitar, bass, and drums that blur into multiple blasts of anger that make me feel pummeled. They twist things around by slowing things down a couple parts to let you catch your breath before they take you on another ride for your life. A perfect introduction to two bands that match up well and yet sound uniquely different from one another. –Donofthedead (Fight for Your Mind)

HAPPY DEATH, A:
Letter to the Dead: CDEP
Here is something interesting I pulled off of Wikipedia: A Happy Death (original title La mort heureuse) was the first novel by French writer-philosopher Albert Camus. The existentialist topic of the book is the “will to happiness,” the conscious creation of one’s happiness, and the need of time (and money) to do so. It draws on memories of the author including his job at the maritime commission in Algiers, his suffering from tuberculosis, and his travels in Europe. I’m not sure this was the band’s reference in choosing a name, but it caught my attention. I was given this CD at a show a few months back from the singer/guitarist Rick. I had known that he had played in a few bands throughout the years, but I wasn’t sure what this band would sound like. I knew it would definitely be punk based. I popped the CD in the player at home a few days later and the first track, “12:22,” comes pouring out the speakers. Four clicks of the drum sticks lead to a thunderous bass line combined with almost a tribal use of drums. Slight harmonic guitar notes add a touch of emotion to that section of the song. Then the song powers ahead and the power chords are unleashed. I begin to hear Rick’s vocals and they are delivered with a sound that is pained and desperate. I pull out the booklet and start to read the lyrics to the songs because, right from the start, I really like this song. I understand where this emotion is coming from. I had a few conversations with him about him losing his fiancé to an early death. This song is for her. Honest and open for all to hear. I listen to just this one song over and over while I have my player on repeat. It really moved me. I had a loss recently and it connects with me and is a sadness I can share. Musically, the song is progressive with punk energy, dark with a death rock gloominess, and post punk with its out of the box use of guitar layering. The other three tracks challenge the listener to pay attention and keep listening. They do not play off of one formula. Each song is unique and could be mistakenly perceived as being performed by different performers if played in a mix of other songs. Even though the songs are different from one another, it is an enjoyable package as a whole. But four songs become a tease. I want to hear more. Hoping that the band does not implode, I am in anticipation that a future full length is in the works. –Donofthedead (Me and My Shadow)

HAPPY HATE ME NOTS:
The Good That’s Been Done…An Anthology: 2 x CD
There’s that old saying: “Never judge a two-disc anthology of a now-defunct Australian band by its horrifically ugly cover.” I mean, seriously, the art on this thing is positively awful and totally misleading—I’m talking Dayglo porpoises frolicking amid Photoshopped “tripping acid” backgrounds. If I saw this in a record store, I’d be expecting either some sort of sick, dick-numbing Phish worship or a few hours of really bad house/trance music. Instead, shockingly, HHMN manage to dish out a potent and mostly consistent crossbreed of mid-period Stiff Little Fingers and straight ahead power pop that’s really, really catchy. Two discs of this stuff, and while there are certain drawbacks throughout (they have a tendency to slip in a light and strangling pop ballad here and there, like the lilting “Blue Afternoon,” that I could have really done without) it’s generally pretty steady in its kickassedness. On the punk spectrum, this one’s not kicking out much radiation, though I bet they came across as more jagged and mean live. Still, if authentic, mid-to-late ‘80s power pop blows your hair back, this one’ll do it for you; two discs, plenty of liner notes, featuring the majority of their released material, including b-sides and live radio stuff. –Keith Rosson (Feel Presents)

HARA-KEE-REES, THE:
Can’t Stop Thinking About You b/w I’m Walking Babes: 7"
A quick glance at the cover—five Dutch dudes sporting sullen looks, black button-ups, and nooses—and you might think that something mighty unconventional was afoot, ala the Monks. Not quite. Most of the A-side is good, though unremarkable, post-”Psychotic Reaction” garage rock. Until they hit the break. Then the organ drops out, the guitar feeds back, the rhythm section keeps chugging along, and the singer goes through the chorus. That’s when I picked up on the line “I can’t stop dreaming about you”—that’s a predicament of a whole different order. Can’t stop thinking about that special someone? Think about baseball or Weekend at Bernies or how to improve your stir fry skills; redirect your mind, bub, you can control your thoughts. But when that certain someone infects your subconscious that’s beyond your grasp. That merits serious empathy and it’s the twist this tune needed to rise above. “I’m Walking Babe” reaches those heights much sooner by simply having the guitarist play on the one and three beats; a little offbeat dissonance is good for what ails you. Mike Faloon –Guest Contributor (Kuriosa)

HARAM:
Self-titled: CD
Oh shit, this is cool! A really nice surprise. Judging from the fact that this is on Lovitt and some of the dudes used to be in Page 99, I can only assume that this band is from NOVA (that’s Northern Virginia to you non east-coasters) and they definitely carry the Fugazi banner with pride. I hear some Drive Like Jehu in here too, but it’s total early ‘90s Dischord territory. These guys are talented musicians that work together well. The music is well written and multi-dimensional, and I’m definitely gonna listen to this a lot. Oh, and I read on the promo sheet that Jeff Kane is in this band now! Hi Jeff! –Ben Snakepit (Lovitt)

HARAM:
Drescher: CD
A melansquallic post-hardcore wall-of-sound concept record about the Super Mario-style rescue of “The Nanny” herself, Fran Drescher. Haram, from Virginia’s D.C. suburbs, come with the tuneful, shouty vocals and Jehugazi guitar hooks that I’d want to listen to on one of those roadtrips where the drive is so fun that the destination winds up being boring. Eat at Anita’s! –CT Terry –Guest Contributor (Lovitt)

HARBOUR 81:
Live Your Dreams: CD
“Don’t read the press release.” No matter how many times I say this, I still read the fucking press release. This band’s music is a good dose of hardcore à la Gorilla Biscuits and early Agnostic Front with a little pop punk thrown in. And then I look at the press release. Any self-respecting punk band should not have to have “selling points.” –Bryan Static (Warbird)

HARD LESSONS, THE:
Gasoline: CD
It’s the music Detroit’s most recently known for—crunchy, soulful, toe-tappin’, drinkin’, stripped-bare rock. The surprise difference is soaring female vocals with the fortitude of Janis Joplin, the guilelessness of Edie Brickell, and the veracity of Neko Case. Swaggering, husky, complementary male vocals, clanging cymbals, concussion-inducing guitar, cerebral organ, and assorted percussive instruments (is that a vibraphone?). MC5 in some places, Bob Seger in others, the whole organized mess culminates in a sound that’s refined enough for NPR and bittersweet enough for the rest of us. –Jessica Thiringer (No Fun)

HARD SKIN:
Same Meat Different Gravy: CD
Oi, oi, oi! Why is it that joke bands are always the best at playing the style that they’re trying to ape? Hard Skin may be taking the piss, but they can sure play it good. When the disc started playing, I lost control over my motor skills and my body got up and got a beer from the fridge. If I hadn’t regained consciousness I might have shaved my head! I’m sure that there are jokes aplenty in the lyrics, but I swear the only words I can make out are “Oi,” “bollocks,” “cunt,” “pint,” and “arse.” In the meantime, I’ll just keep drinking to see if it becomes any clearer to me. –Ty Stranglehold (TKO)

HARD-ONS:
This Terrible Place: CD
The band is the Hard-Ons. I saw them last maybe 7 or 8 years ago. They rocked. They are called the Hard-Ons. The cover art is a mutant cyclops Mickey Mouse angel as a peace symbol with a huge cock that has an eyeball on it. I had a mindset of what this CD would sound like. Hmm. This isn’t bad as much as it is unexciting. The music is almost easy listening, too mellow, and this is coming from a guy who likes Simon and Garfunkle, okay? There are a few songs that sound like they would be great to see live with amps and feedback and the energy of a band rocking out, but the CD isn’t doing anything for me but serving as background music. –Rich Mackin (Bad Taste)

HARD-ONS:
Most People Are a Waste of Time: CD
Loud pop that falls somewhere between the Fastbacks and the Ramones, which unfortunately means it sounds like the Lemonheads or something. –Cuss Baxter (Bad Taste)

HARD-ONS:
Very Exciting: CD
After a few clunkers, these Aussie legends have come back with a vengeance, leveling both barrels and blasting an unsuspecting public with yet another unholy melange of Ramones-and-Slayer-cover-the-Descendents goodness. These guys have not sounded this consistently good to these ears since their Love is a Battlefield of Wounded Hearts album more than a decade ago. Wisenheimer punk, sick with some of the tastiest pop hooks you’ll hear anywhere, coupled with Marshall overdrive and the occasional grindcore rhythm to throw you completely off track just when you think you’ve got ’em pegged. Easily my favorite release this review cycle. Pick up a copy so’s you can tell your kids you owned a copy of this soon-to-be-classic back when it came out. Oh, and while you’re at it, toss them Blink 182 wastes of plastic away to make some room in your collection for some true greatness. –Jimmy Alvarado (Bad Taste)

HARD-ONS:
This Terrible Place: CD
The band is the Hard-Ons. I saw them last maybe 7 or 8 years ago. They rocked. They are called the Hard-Ons. The cover art is a mutant cyclops Mickey Mouse angel as a peace symbol with a huge cock that has an eyeball on it. I had a mindset of what this CD would sound like. Hmm. This isn’t bad as much as it is unexciting. The music is almost easy listening, too mellow, and this is coming from a guy who likes Simon and Garfunkle, okay? There are a few songs that sound like they would be great to see live with amps and feedback and the energy of a band rocking out, but the CD isn’t doing anything for me but serving as background music. –Rich Mackin (Bad Taste)

HARIJAN / JOHN PLAYER SPECIALS:
Split: CD
I guess that the occasional metallic guitars classify Harijan as “ska-core.” There is no reason for any of their songs to be over four minutes long, but all three are. Why? Then John Player Specials came on, and I ain’t the smartest man, but I think they’re subbing in ukulele for guitar. Interesting. Their songs are smooth going and, if I hadn’t stopped giving a shit about ska sometime towards the middle of Clinton’s first term, I might even venture to listen to JPS again. –CT Terry (TNS)

HARKONEN:
Dancing: CDEP
Plodding dirge-core. I always go back to the idea of engines that need oil when I hear music like this. I once thought that was a good thing. Now, after several years of aging and listening to some truly sphincter-clenching shit like Godflesh, The Swans, and Melt-Banana, I realize that music like this - when played like this - isn't edgy, impressive or a stunning display of masterful heaviness. It?s just boring. –Puckett (Initial)

HARKONEN:
Dancing: CD EP
Plodding dirge-core. I always go back to the idea of engines that need oil when I hear music like this. I once thought that was a good thing. Now, after several years of aging and listening to some truly sphincter-clenching shit like Godflesh, The Swans, and Melt-Banana, I realize that music like this – when played like this – isn’t edgy, impressive or a stunning display of masterful heaviness. It’s just boring. –Puckett (Initial)

HARKONEN:
Shake Harder Boy: CD
This is so fucking epic. I think it wants to be death metal, but it doesn’t get further than splinter rock. –Megan Pants (Hydrahead)

HARLAN T. BOBO:
Sucker: CD
“Songs mostly written while courting an adventurous woman. France, Spain, Madagascar, New York, Memphis, Netherlands. The courtship was a success.” As an ‘80s punk rock kid, I pretty much disdained folk, emo, whiny CTV country, emo-folk, and new country. That was until I first heard Hank Williams and Leonard Cohen. They made me realize you can be a singer-songwriter and not be a complete douchebag in boots. The usual labels of country and folk didn’t really apply. Americana is the closest word that makes sense. They didn’t write and sing in order to get chicks, they wrote songs to try to understand people, themselves included. They never put on a fake look to fit into what was popular. Sometimes it’s poetic, other times pissed off. Sometimes it’s just funny. Harlan T. Bobo embodies the same vibe. He could be singing in Memphis, or at a New York bar, in a Paris café, or on a street corner in Nogales, and always sound at home, pure and from the heart. –Speedway Randy (Goner)

HARLEQUIN KID:
Self-titled: Cassette
The insert for this release keeps the band’s story shrouded in mystery, other than that they like pictures of really old, beat-to-shit cars. But they actually look like fine young men from Appleton, WI online. This five-song EP starts off with the sludge rock of “Deer Slayer.” Side one ends with “Don’t Help Me Up,” which strikes me as dipping into the Killdozer pool, which I have no problem with at all. “Drown the Sun” blurs the crosshairs between Volcano Suns and Bastro. Promising debut slab, guys. Let’s see where next year’s extended play tape takes us. –Sean Koepenick (self-released)

HARLEY’S WAR:
Cro Mag: CD
The title proclaims this as “Hardcore All Stars” and, as one may guess from the cover, Harley from the Cro Mags is the main member. Features Vinnie Stigma from Agnostic Front on some tunes as well. This is thirty-two songs, comprised of twelve new songs, a 1982 Harley solo demo, and a live set from CBGB. There is also a live DVD of shows from NYC, Japan, and Germany. Fans of NYHC already know they want this. –Mike Frame (MVD Audio)

HAROLD RAY:
Live in Concert: CD
Some high-octane, high-quality soul from Mr. Ray and his cohorts, not unlike the Sonics in their prime covering James Brown. Although I probably would’ve preferred studio work to a live recording, the sound quality here and energy level of this live performance make for an entertaining listen. –Jimmy Alvarado (Alternative Tentacles)

HARPOON GUNS:
: 12"EP
I pulled the grievous boner of failing to review a Harpoon Guns 7" that came sometime last year so perhaps I can make up for it by gushing a little extra over this (though I will say up front that it’s got one of the lamest covers I’ve ever seen—I would not ever buy this record based on the way it looks. I don’t think anyone would, not even a dork, a dink, or a pudwack). Outside, and inside, that, however, things are peach-dandy. Despite the fact that these kids weren’t even born then, they manage to swim really close to mountains of almost-generic hardcore that was all the rage circa 1984—all that fantastic teenage piss and vinegar that overflowed from Mystic compilations and no doubt lived and died in 2200 towns and cities across this sickening planet. Appropriately, the EP was recorded by Craigums whose own backward-looking band What Happens Next? actually goes maybe too far (and suffers from too-good production) to really rouse me after a couple listens. Harpoon Guns are still actual teenagers (I think) and so manage to make actual teenager hardcore that’s both dumb and exciting (“she’ll spread her legs for you/she’ll spread her legs for me/she’s got 20 cases of VD”). –Cuss Baxter (Square Wave)

HARPOON GUNS:
Wage War on the Whale Eaters: Cassette tape demo
If a quartet of sub-20s are to be believed, these fired-up youngsters recorded this five song (3:38 minute) demo one month after formation and (I do not shit you here:) it sounds like the Teen Idles (not Idols) doing Battalion of Saints (not Pants)! The sounds sound like shit, but my ears—if not yours—learned long ago to cope with punk demo production values. The lyrics are kind of dumb, and I was a little disappointed to find out the song I thought went “Speed disease, let’s go!” really goes “Speed disease, it kills!”, but man they got some fierce punk going on, and apparently their friend’s label is issuing a ten-song 7", so I’m all spittled up and ready for more. And, hey! I like Coke (not coke) too! –Cuss Baxter (harpoonguns@gmail.com)

HARPOON GUNS:
Self-titled: 7”
This record is really good. I’ve heard people talk about how good this band is, but this 7” has definitely made me a believer. It’s the perfect balance of old school southern California (emphasis on the South Bay) hardcore punk rock while still sounding very relevant. No frills production in the sense that it’s obviously not trying to sound polished or intentionally shitty. Just quality, guitar-squealing, pissed-off punk. This will make you wanna pick up your board—skate, surf, Ouija, or otherwise. –Daryl Gussin (SquareWave/Eliminator, squarewaverecords@gmail.com)

HARRINGTON SAINTS:
Sounds of the Street: 7”
It’s been a bit of a skinhead kind of month for reviews. I’ll try to keep from repeating myself too much, but the same things can be said for so many of these bands. Harrington Saints are good. They’re tight and the songs really get you going. Lyrically, they’re not really exciting at all, but you can’t win them all. A lot of the typical catch phrases being thrown around. “Boots,” “Working Class,” “Hoist our pints,”… You get the idea. I’m just glad that it sounds good enough to forget about all of that. –Ty Stranglehold (Pirate’s Press)

HARRINGTON SAINTS:
“Bootstraps” b/w “City on Fire”: 7”
Quick two-songer of mediocre street punk stuff. Nice semi-transparent splatter vinyl. Pretty short on content—“City on Fire” smokes just a bit more than “Bootstraps.” Both of them rely way too heavily on their oft-repeated choruses. Street punk records like this—passable but ultimately kind of forgettable—really just make me miss the Beltones. If the Harrington Saints could write something as earnest and defeated and careworn as “Fuck You Anyway,” I’d sign myself up in a heartbeat. Hit me with something like that, guys, and I’m a fan for a long, long time. –Keith Rosson (Longshot)

HARRINGTON SAINTS:
Dead Broke in the USA: CD
Here’s a full length from a band that I’ve only heard singles from in the past. As in my last review, Harrington Saints bring the oi sound in a very well-played, well-recorded package. This truly sounds amazing: very catchy songs to sing along to and hoist a pint or ten in the process. Also the same is the lyrical content which is, while not bad at all, just been done to death. That said, I don’t listen to bands like Harrington Saints for poetry or deep ideology. I listen to sing along and hoist a pint or ten. Mission accomplished. –Ty Stranglehold (Contra)

HARRINGTON SAINTS:
Dead Broke in the USA: LP
Harrington Saints play fairly generic street punk—which those of us into the subgenre enjoy—regardless of fact that we’ve heard it all before. Replete with oi chants and sing-a-longs, Harrington Saints hail from the Bay Area and are more politically astute than most of the folks who play oi-ish punk. With the recent announcement that the East Coast of Oi! Fest 2010 got canceled due to pressures from anti-speech punks, it’s becoming clear that there’s still an unwarranted hysteria over skin culture. Well-studied musically, the lyrics are what distinguish Harrington Saints, who aren’t afraid to point out the flaws in typical working class politics past and present. Plus, who doesn’t need new lyrics with “work” all over them to sing on the way into headquarters in the morning? This LP is a split release with Contra Records from Germany and comes on lovely colored vinyl. –Art Ettinger (Longshot)

HARRINGTON SAINTS / SLICK 45:
Split: 7”
While I can’t say that this is a record I will ever listen to again, or even keep for that matter, I can say if you enjoy oi, you can’t wrong with this. Both bands present some mid-tempo chants and cheers and beers and pisses and shits and all the stuff that makes oi distinct in one nice little 7”. I want to like this (the vinyl! It is beautiful!), but it’s not my style. Like a good romantic comedy, it makes me feel weird, but if you like that sort of thing, I can’t condemn you for liking it. –Bryan Static (Longshot)

HARRY BALZAGNA & THE TEENIE WEENIES:
Self-titled: 10”
From a graphic design/art standpoint, the record’s sweet. It’s worth the ten bucks for wall decoration. One side is blank and it has a two-color screen. The other side has yet another two-color design screened under the clear wax. It’s stunning and shows, yet again, that vinyl has possibilities that have yet to be fully explored. The band, well, they’re fair to sucky. The first two songs sorta sound like JFA, just not nearly as good. The last track, “Front Side Grind,” attempts to go the Saccharine Trust, Flipper art-damaged route, and I guess they succeed in making something that’s truly hard to listen to, but instead of being challenging, I just found it irritating. It’s the audio equivalent to walking in on your uncle masturbating and you’re forced to watch for five minutes until he’s done. So—back to the beginning of the review—I’ve just decided that I’m going to get some fishing line and hang the record up like a mobile. It’s not coming close to the player ever again. –Todd Taylor (Snack Attack)

HARRY BALZAGNA & THE TEENIE WEENIES:
Front Side Grind: 10"
...i had to look at this record for quite a while to dope out what the fuck they did with it, but, after some analysis, i was able to figure out that it is a one-sided clear vinyl record, with both the front AND back artwork silkscreened on the b-side. The design elements visible on the a-side were silkscreened first, backwards, on the b-side, then the b-side elements were printed on top of the a-side elements, right-side up—sooooo, when you look thru the clear vinyl of the a-side, you see the back of the b-side artwork, which is where the a-side artwork was printed (and, since you’ve got the record flipped around now, it’s miraculously unbackwards). The record is then gaily festooned with regular record labels, and displayed in an open-hole paper sleeve, with more art screened on said sleeve. Gawrsh, Mickey! First song is an instrumental thrasher, the type of thing bands started their sets off with in 1983/84 so’s their singer could work himself into a bozo lather on the side of the stage before making his grand appearance; second song is a “Gas Chamber”-y number (duly equipped with vocals); final song is what sounds like an eons-long Minutemen soundcheck, complete with horns, except that it lasts longer than all the songs on the first two Minutemen records put together. I think this is what realtors refer to as a “unique property.” BEST SONG: Uh... the first one? BEST SONG TITLE: If “Skate When You’re Lonely, Honk When You’re Horny,” the phrase screened across the back, is actually a song title, i’ll pick that one. FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: This record transcends mere Fantastic Amazing Trivia Facts! But, that said, it does have the phrase “IT’S THE CENTER I CRAVE” inscribed in the run-off grooves. –Rev. Norb (Snack Attack)

HARUM SCARUM:
The Last Light: LP
It’s been awhile since I listened to their last LP, Suppose We Try. That was a great record! That was enough for me to send out some cash when I got an email about a new release. I thought they had broken up since I hadn’t really heard anything about the band in a while. I had read that the band members were playing in other bands and doing other things. Just like the last record, this record is amazing. This recording has a straightforward sound that is moody and sad while maintaining a feeling of anxiety. The music is adventurous and creates a dark atmosphere. Lyrics of despair and anger connect the ambience of the dirge. More personal insight of the injustices of the world are pinpointed. I love that this sounds so progressive yet the music still propels forward with a sense of urgency. It sounds that the time away was well spent to create a record that is uniquely theirs while staying away from the formula that is followed by so many other bands. Musically challenging and thought-provoking. There are two things on my wish list from this band: I hope they come down to LA and grace us with their presence, and I also hope more recordings are coming down the pipeline. –Donofthedead (Partners in Crime)

HARUM SCARUM:
Suppose We Try: LP
I read about this band in MRR awhile ago. That piqued my interest but I never got around to getting anything by them. I did see this release and said to myself, I have to finally check them out. I’m not sure how much they have put out in the past, but I need to get more! An insert announced that singer Erin no longer sings for them anymore. I’m more curious now that they seem to be perfect as they are. The music is strong and the lyrics are thought provoking. Socio-political are their leaning in regards to lyrical content. Musically, they are tight and mid-tempo in style that is reminiscent of the early '80s UK anarchist bands like Conflict meets Flux of Pink Indians meets Icons of Filth. The music is well written and has no hints of staleness. Power is produced by musicianship and not with overblown production. The female-led vocals are strong but also add a quality of fidelity that makes understanding the lyrics easier. Fantastic first taste for me from a band that I should have been listening to earlier on. –Donofthedead (Hex)

HASIL ADKINS:
“Kim Rock” b/w “Baseball Bat Song”: 12” single
A twelve inch single, from Italy. Hasil Adkins is the man. Two songs: “Kim Rock” and “Baseball Bat.” The first you need to hear because you have to. You have to know. The second you need to hear especially if you’ve read part 1 of the Razorcake Hasil interview, ‘cause I know you just finished part 2. If not, go to it now! Get! … Alright, now you’re a bit more ready, and there is nothing more I can say except you might want to get up and get one of these cause I don’t think they’ll hang around too long. You don’t want to go your life without the latest from the Lone One himself. So sad. So true. Make you laugh. Make you blue. Get to it. –Bradley Williams (Rockin’ Bones)

HATE BOMBS / INVISIBLE MEN:
Split: CDEP
Limited edition souvenir single from when both groups last toured together. The premise is simple: Band A covers two songs by Band B, and vice versa. The Invisible Men do nice farfisa-drenched renditions of both “Love Bird” and “Is This What You Think Is Called Love,” while Florida’s Hate Bombs serve up reworkings of “Just Make Me Happy” as well as the unofficial anthem of NORML, “Green Connection.” Quantities of this garage rock gem were sparse last time I checked, so grab one should you get the chance. –Tim Jamison (www.invisiblemen.com)

HATE NO. 3:
Crucified: 7"
Do I like Japanese punk? Fuck ya! This band kicks major ass by playing mid-tempo, metallic Jap-core, crust, and old school. The guitars are strong and abrasive. The drums are heavy and pounding. The musicians sound very accomplished and keep things from getting generic. Paintbox is a good reference point. I need to see a dentist after the swift kick in the teeth that I got.
–Donofthedead (Yoakemae)

HATE PINKS, THE:
Parasites Like Me: CD
Total Killed By Death type stuff. This album gets the ridiculous lyric award for: “I’m going to get me that girl Natasha/Behind the economical curtain.” And the singer pronounces “badge” like “bay-dge.” Punk! And I think they’re French! If this were a cereal, it’d be Apple Jacks. If you like ‘em/KBD, you’ll love this! –Maddy (Unity Squad)

HATEBEAK/CANINUS:
Split: 7”
Hatebeak: Grindcore courtesy of two guys, a drum machine, and a parrot vocalist. Yes, a parrot. Sounds exactly like you’d expect. Caninus: Grindcore with vocals comprised of dogs barking and what sounds like someone slurping the last strawful of an unknown drink from the bottom of a very large glass. –Jimmy Alvarado (Reptilian)

HATED PRINCIPLES:
MTA: 7”
Been a couple o’ moons since Don’s floated some new HP product this way, and it’s always a treat when he does. As can be expected, this one’s a gasser. Side one’s a couple of potent doses of L.A. hardcore circa ’83 (a different version of “Cops from Hell” was featured on the second We Got Power comp), and side two features Katz warblin’ (who knew he could sing???) on a mid-tempo, latter-day-White-Flagish punker tune, and a short thrasher about L.A.’s public transit system. Some good shit here, kids, the kind that can only come outta people who’ve been hangin’ around the block more than a few years. –Jimmy Alvarado (Gothic Gospel)

HATED PRINCIPLES:
MTA: 7" EP
A certain Mr. Ofthedead plays bass in this band, and based on what I know of Don’s musical taste, it sounds like the kind of band that he would be in. The first song reminds me of mid-’80s crossover stuff, like Dealing with It by DRI, before crossover became full-blown metal. The second song, “Cops from Hell,” reigns the metal back in a little bit and sounds like Suicidal Tendencies, right down to the subject matter. The third song is completely out of left field and sounds like an awkward late ‘80s Ramones ballad. The fourth song brings it back into Suicidal territory with vocals bordering on falsetto. It’s better than every Suicidal Tendencies album that’s come out in the past twenty years, that’s for sure. –Josh (Gothic Gospel)

HATED PRINCIPLES:
MTA: 7" EP
Hated Principles have been around for awhile (starting in 1982 and they were on the We Got Power #3 comp.), popping up in strange places and at weird times. The last time I saw them, the singer Captain Anarchy was in a wheel chair with a broken leg and they were playing in something of an antiques/junk/collectibles store. The sides of the record are a split personality. The first two songs, “Punk’s Only a Word” and “Cops from Hell,” are straight ahead thrashers, reminiscent at different times, of MDC, Motörhead, and mid period DRI, where there are metally leads, but they’re kept—sorta—in check. The B-side’s “Blind Faith” and “M.T.A.” are death rock with pop overtones. Picture Christian Death lead by Lance Hahn of J Church singing. Both songs are actually quite catchy and pretty. Not a bad 7”. One of the members is Donofthedickies or something like that. –Todd Taylor (Gothic Gospel)

HATED PRINCIPLES:
MTA: 7"
Hated Principles were an early ‘80s LA punk band. They made their way onto some Mystic comps and released a pretty solid album, but they never really caught on. One of the former members of Hated Principles went on to become Donofthedead, Razorcake record reviewer. So, yeah, full disclosure: this is my buddy Don’s band’s seven inch. I’m always a little hesitant when a friend gives me his band’s record, because, if I don’t like it, I’m put in an uncomfortable situation. Luckily, I really like this seven inch. If I’m not mistaken, it’s two old Hated Principles songs re-recorded, and two newer songs. The songs explore the hardcore territory between Black Flag and Ill Repute, with a little Adolescents thrown in. There’s even a goofy, RKL-type song called “MTA” to wrap this record up. All four of these songs bring me back to a musical era that I love. It feels like a lost gem. I just think they should’ve been the Hated Principals. –Sean Carswell (Gothic Gospel)

HATEFUL:
Diamond Among the Coal: CD
The opening chords sound exactly like the main riff of Hanoi Rocks’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams,” but that’s where the similarities end. In all, this is an entertaining volume of sometimes anthemic punk rock in the vein of the lesser-talented bands of the ‘77 British invasion. That’s not to say that this sucks musically, though; all that means is that this is more in line with bands like Angelic Upstarts or Cockney Rejects than the Clash or Generation X (though there are similarities there, too). At first this seemed a bit cheesy and rehashed, but I caught myself singing the tunes when walking down the street—they’re catchy songs that, while not necessarily of mind-blowing inventiveness, were certainly worth my while. –The Lord Kveldulfr (Rebellion)

HATEPINKS, LES:
Tête Malade/Sick in the Head: CD
These nine songs sound pretty much exactly like the forty-one songs on the Hatepinks CD i reviewed last issue, except the titles are a little cleverer and the music not quite as right-the-fuck-on as before. Other than that, everything sounds and looks exactly as it has done in the past. Is there anyone else on this staff who is allowed to review records by this band??? BEST SONG: “My City Is Sick Of Pizza” BEST SONG TITLE: Either that or “Should I Kill Myself Or Go Jogging?” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Innersleeve words of wisdom: “Vraiment déteste les kids.” True dat, bro. –Rev. Norb (TKO)

HATEPINKS, THE:
We Are the Fucks: CD
I initially mocked the “Sehr Gut Rock Und Roll” album for being some kinda reverse-triumph of style over substance, claiming that the band might as well have been pulling random punk words out of a hat for song titles and what not—not that i’m against that (in point of fact, the band actually inspired me to DO just that—cf. my “punk rock magnetic poetry” column of some time back), but it didn’t seem to have much point to it. Now i listen to that album (as part of this forty-two track complete recordings thang) and i wonder exactly what the fuck it was i didn’t like about it, ‘cause, i mean, it sounds kinda great now. The only thing i can think of is that now at work i have to listen to music thru headphones, so, yeah, rectify THAT with the Great Art of Punk Rock, s’il vous plait. BEST SONG: “Fall In Love With A JPEG File” BEST SONG TITLE: “My City Is Sick of Pizzas” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: 42 songs, 1.1 hours, 709.1 MB. For the videogame i’m currently working on, i have to keep the grand total file size of all in-game sound assets to 8 MB. I HAVE EIGHT FUCKING MEGABYTES TO USE FOR ALL THE FUCKING SOUND IN THE GAME!!! Moozairfookair! –Rev. Norb (Revel Yell)

HATEPINKS, THE:
Teste Malade/ Sick in the Head: 10” EP
Have to hand it to The Hatepinks. They could have easily slid into Briefs clone territory, and instead are ending up sounding like the radioactive house band to Repo Man, if Repo Man was set in France… and the Adverts sung about cheese or were a Do Wop band that played their instruments with stilettos instead of fingers… and there was a nearby beach that had a radioactive spill and when the barrels broke open, it was bubblegum… and everyone—even librarians—did a bunch of drugs, every second they were alive… and… well, you get the point. Bouncy ’77-friendly French weirdness that advocates animals sexual liberation while really just hoping that you’ll have a good time. –Todd Taylor (TKO)

HATEPINKS, THE:
Plastic Bag Ambitions: CD/LP
Sacré Pink! After a first album which had the unintended consequence of inspiring my Punk Rock Magnetic Poetry column of a few months back (the gist of things being that said album was so superficial and humdrum that it just seemed like the band was picking “punk” sounding words out of un chapeau and then writing songs about them, inspiring me to do the same) (sorta), the Hatepinks counterattack brilliantly by suddenly developing amazing proficiency, pulling a particularly stunning array of bass chops out of their collective anal apertures, and walloping the unsuspecting consumer with a hard, fast blast of ‘79/’80 Buzzcocks A Different Kind of Tension-isms—all the while, keeping true to their subatomic vision of punk rock as a small collection of properly charged words and syllables (e.g., the lyrics to the title track are nothing but fifty-seven seconds worth of the phrases “1-2-3-4,” “Plastic Bag Ambitions,” and “Go!”). It’s kinda like someone took the Briefs, turned up the Minimalism Dial (or would one actually turn down the Minimalism Dial? Well, you know what i mean), compressed the song lengths, threw in a flurry of second-wave UK punk-isms (to shut me up?), then topped it all off with the kind of inhuman, three-steps-ahead-of-the-listener production that made those early 999 records sound (at least at the time) like they were the work of brilliant space aliens whose modernistic genius could not be comprehended by mere earthlings. I dunno what-all souls got sold to what-all rulers of the Underworld to get this record sounding this way, but this album is, without question, sixteen minutes and twenty-eight seconds well the fuck spent. Actually, my player says that this CD is sixteen minutes and thirty-four seconds long. Lying Euro bastards! BEST SONG: “I Am a Divorce” BEST SONG TITLE: “Kissing Cops with My Ass” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The last track on the record allows the listener to perfect their pronunciation of “Moo-zair-foo-kair!”, just as that track on the Fonzie Favorites album allowed us to perfect the phrases “Sit On It!” “Cool It!” and “Aaaaaaay!” back in The Day! –Rev. Norb (CD: TKO, LP: Lollipop)

HATEPINKS, THE:
Sehr Gut Rock Und Roll: CD

Me: Okay, got guitars?

Band: Oui.

Me: Got bass?

Band: Oui.

Me: Got drums?

Band: Oui.

Me: Got sunglasses?

Band: Oui.

Me: Got ties?

Band: Oui.

Me: Some of them featuring the ever-dynamic “diagonal stripe” pattern?

Band: Mais oui!

Me: Are you standing in front of some sort of grid-type background, such as the tiles of a subway station or underpass, to contrast the mathematical regularity of the grid pattern itself with the imperfections of the physical form it has taken on in its manifestation as a byproduct of mere functional utility?

Band: (whispering) Uhhh... oui?

Me: Got song titles that appear to be composed by writing down a variety of “punk” sounding words – “Brainless” “Selfish” “Kids” “Gimmick” “Phoning” “Pills” “Bored” “Rotten” “Plastic” “Polaroid” – then picking those words randomly out of a hat?

Band: Oui.

Me: Got inspiration?

Band: ... quoi?

Me: You know, “inspiration?” Like, do you do anything but embrace and reflect previously established stylistic conventions?

Band (offended): “Je suis une gimmick!”

Me: Yeah, but can’t you think of a better gimmick than just being punk? I mean, isn’t that sort of a given for a punk band? A default gimmick?

Band: “Nous sommes la haine rose!”

Me: LOOK, DO YOU HAVE A GIMMICK OTHER THAN BEING A GIMMICK PUNK BAND WHO IS PUNK???

Band: “Garcon je danse bien?”

Me: Look, if you want a gimmick, why not sing in French? French is, amazingly, a perfectly good rock singin’ language. It also sounds really freaky, which is good. Plastic Bertrand sang in French, and HE was Belgian!

Band: !!! Quel chien!!! Quel cochon Belgique!!!

Me: I mean, instead of doing something like wearing a diagonally-striped tie ‘cause it looks sort of symbolically hiply jarring, why dontcha do something REALLY hiply jarring for a change, and sing in your native language??? I can assure you that the white male Anglophone mafia who’ve been running Punk Rock since its inception have a lot more interest in hearing French dudes singing punk in French than they do hearing yet more punk rock sung in English. I mean, the only reason we put up with French punks singing in English anyway is because sometimes they say “Moo-zair-foo-kair,” which we love – which you don’t say even say once! So whaddaya say? Can you sing your next album in French? Huh? Can ya? Will ya? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Band: We do not speak the French!!! Moo-zair-foo-kair!!!

BEST SONG: “Bored on Pills” BEST SONG TITLE: “(Killed By) Polaroid Screen” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: “Fuck the rest of the world, especially you.” –Rev. Norb (Lollipop)

HATEWAVE:
Free Ringtones: CD
On the back, right after the “recorded in 1995” info, are the words “Fuck Metal.” This seems a bit oxymoronic since the cover would be the ultimate stereotype of metal misogyny—a naked girl, spread-eagle and on her back, covered in bloody handprints impaled on a guitar neck. On the back of the booklet is what looks like a four-year-old’s interpretation of the picture on the front. The music is utterly incompetent grindy hardcore stuff with someone rockin’ a Casio SK-5. Gonna hafta to pass on this shit, and I mean that last Saxon word with all the sincerity I can muster. –Jimmy Alvarado (Apop)

HATEWORK:
Thrash n’ Roll: CD
Dude! It’s time to bust out your long hair wig, squeeze your fat ass into those super-tight, pegged black jeans, polish the bullet belt and grow out your mustache. It’s 1985 again and it’s time to bang your head for some thrashin’. These Italian metal dudes have forgotten that twenty years have flown by and this style of metal is not popular anymore. But for this old geezer, it’s refreshing to hear this. I admit that I bit on the crossover bug back in the day and I ate this shit up. This reminds me of metal bands from back in the day like Possessed, MetalChurch or Celtic Frost. Speed metal played in the traditional sense. –Donofthedead (Beer City)

HAUNTED GEORGE:
Bone Hauler: CD
There is a void left by The Cramps (yes, they still play, but for how long?!?) and Hasil Adkins that’s impossible to fill, at least by genuine new blood. Thank the Lord for Haunted George. Steve Pallow from the Necessary Evils and the Beguiled plays one-boogieman-band rock with wobbly vocals and killer guitar—his fuzz pedal seeps into your brain, turning you into a human amp, drafted into his zombiarmy, conquering the world with ghoul tactics and body slams. Moody, contagious songs you will hum for days. Get this on vinyl or never survive the desert. –Speedway Randy (Dead Beat Records, www.dead-beat-records.com)

HAUNTED GEORGE:
Bone Hauler: CD
The more I listen to Haunted George, the alter ego of S. George Pallow from the defunct Necessary Evils, the more inclined I am to call the man a genius. He takes the one man band format to bizarre, uncharted territory that the great Hasil Adkins would have been proud to tread. The songs on Bone Hauler hang heavily in the air like apparitions: lost souls searching for a desert resting place. Pallow’s voice, limbs, and instruments work together to create a harrowing, hypnotic mental landscape of isolation and desolation. “Depraved,” with the line “I’m not depraved. What’s that mean, anyway? They’ll learn the truth about me…someday,” will simultaneously make you laugh out loud and your hair stand on end. Other standouts are “Graves in the Desert,” “Howlin’,” and “What Kinda Tracks Are Those?” Highly recommended. –Josh Benke (Dead Beat)

HAUNTED GEORGE:
Pile O' Meat: CD
The second offering of alienated, sunstroked, desert hallucinations in as many issues from Steve Pallow’s alter-ego, Haunted George, and he continues to sit atop the heap of purveyors of the one man band format. Is anyone out there coming up with lyrics as fucking brilliant as this one from “Song for World Peace”: “I hold these truths to be self-evident/That all men may be cremated equally.” Haunted George’s voice sounds like a parched demon growling at the poor soul he is about to inhabit and torment, and the guitar sounds like its being plucked by the claws of a gargoyle. Pop on “Invisible” and feel the echo liquefy your limbic system. These tunes are coming from another plane entirely. Next level shit, with a cover photo that, unbelievably, looks like the music sounds. –Josh Benke (Hook or Crook)

HAUNTED GEORGE:
American Crow: CD
Hanging from the Halloween garage musical tree of Screaming Jay Hawkins, The Cramps, the early Misfits, the Blowtops—not to mention George’s old band, The Necessary Evils, is the powerhouse Haunted George. With a mule’s saddle of full-length albums and 7’s behind him as a one-man band, I expected a fun record but, frankly, I also expected more of the same. I do love the pedal echoes of the Born Bad vibe, garage rock stomp that somehow makes perfect sense with horror movie memorabilia and pulpy westerns. Just that this is a deep rut that bands can fall in after one good record and end up going in circles. But I was wrong, pardner. Surprisingly fresh, this album kicks ass, real Deadwood shit. While this is firmly in George’s usual ramblin’ style, it feels advanced from earlier records, lots of good, ominous speed and pluckyness mixing in with the thundering herd. I got excited by each song. The way a gunfighter keeps shooting those cans off the fence, getting tighter. Necessary Evil Jimmy Hole now plays with George, which may add to the change in style while taking away the lovability of the loner one-man band. Alas, I do believe the line that George is living and recording out in the Mohave. –Speedway Randy (In The Red)

HAUNTED GEORGE / HEX DISPENSERS:
Forest Ray Colson’s Pile O’Meat: 7” EP
I like the concept. Two songs each. Both bands do the same songs: an original and a cover of the other band. Haunted George: Really? I can’t figure out if the joke’s on the listener or George. The first song’s a reverby, in-a-pool recording of a one man band that, I’m guessing, is supposed to be coming across as a paranoid stomp through a destroyed wasteland via a serial killer, but it comes across more as ooky-spooky camp that’d be playing in the background of a Munsters episode. Hex Dispensers: That’s more like it. Their version turns George’s “Pile O’ Meat” into an Undertones Vs. Marked Men powerpop raver that makes the song sound like a Winston Smith collage come to life: cocained-up, teeth-baring consumers thinly butchering the things that are truly ingesting them. Totally worth it for the Hex Dispensers side. I love danceable destruction. –Todd Taylor (Hook Or Crook)

HAUNTED LIFE:
The Declaration: CD
Fast ’n’ furious, cookie cutter bro-core stuff with all the requisite shout-alongs and shit like that. The fact that they sounded a little like a sped up Cro-Mags made ’em interesting for about nine seconds, tops. –Jimmy Alvarado (Get Outta Town)

HAVE NOTS, THE:
Black b/w Jaded Americana: 7"
The Orange County I’m familiar with has been irreversibly shaped by Hostage Records. In real life, OC is a sterile, be-stucco’d subdivision-entangled suburban nightmare that, by some weird wrinkle of time and space, is capable of continually producing some of the best melodic and true punk done by absolute fuckups. Fuckups who usually have served jail time, have a drug habit they’re currently in or eternally getting over, or who take great pride in perfecting their assholeishness between tattoo sessions. Among all this, great music explodes? Yeah. Believe it. The Have Nots are no exception. What’s surprising is how effortless and unaffected they sound, like they’ve been sitting in a time capsule made by Posh Boy for the past twenty-so years. The pacing on these two songs is almost at ballad speed, but the power and energy is unmistakable, like the bridging and build-up parts to Adolescents songs, the telekinetic ease of Crowd-like pop, all highlighting the lyrics, which tell stories of a wasteland. In such a barren environment, and among all the mistakes, durable music like this grows like weeds. –Todd Taylor (Hostage)

HAVOC, THE:
Road Warrior: CDEP
While this record may be a bit contrived and even a bit clichéd at times (tunes about hard life, burning stuff down, and self-indulgent angst), what this record may lack in originality it more than makes up for in spirit. It’s kind of like throwing cans of beer at busses and parking meter checkers while careening downtown at ninety miles per hour in a ’69 Mustang GT—it’s been done before, but it’s still fun and demands notice. With three studio tracks, including a Partisans cover, and three live tracks, it’s a nifty little package that makes want to wreck stuff with glee. –The Lord Kveldulfr (Punk Core)

HAVOC, THE:
Our Rebellion Has Just Begun: CD
Lacking oxymorons in your life? How about a new crusty punk disc courtesy of a Jesus-punk band decked out in all the finest in stereotypical anarcho-poseur accoutrements and parrot-color dye jobs? Normally, my first instinct would be to dismiss them for the bad joke they are, but I’m really working hard on being a little more understanding, so I can really empathize with these guys and their plight. Hell, if I called Whittier home, I’d probably be just as lacking in original thought and sucking on the tit of religion with the same zeal. Just to keep them on their toes and feeling “punk,” feel free to drive through Uptown and pelt ‘em with crackers and communion wafers. –Jimmy Alvarado (Punk Core)

HAWKES:
MVIII: CD-R
This CD-R sounds like it’s influenced by Rites Of Spring. Hawkes bring dirty vocals and post punk/Dischord-y guitar riffs to the plate on these four songs. In the tune “Fleeting Memories,” the Hawkes sing, “Things will come things and things will go.” Ending their song with that line, they intentionally turn their vocal hook into a fleeting memory because it becomes the last thing the listener hears in the song. These songs feel like they are coming from the right place. I hope to hear more from this DIY band from Montreal. –N.L. Dewart ()

HAWKS AND DOVES:
Hush Money/I’m on Fire: 7”
Acoustic-based single from an ex member of Planes Mistaken For Stars. Man, this really seems to be the gruff punk retirement plan. Alongside how many members of assorted beard punk related bands comes another single that is stripped down to basics. One thing about this style is that someone will live and die by their songwriting; there is no distortion or volume to drown things out. This record is not nearly up to the level of something like Drag The River or Tim Barry and covering Bruce Springsteen is never a good idea—particularly a popular song such as the one here. It just seems to be setting yourself up for disappointment. This is probably as good as most of this style, and fans of the stripped down ex-punker style will find a lot to like here, I suppose. –Mike Frame (No Idea)

HAWKWIND:
Atomhenge 76: CD
If I had to break down and recommend one of this batch of Hawkwind records, “Atomhenge 76” is definitely it. This is prime stuff, the spaciest, tastiest space rock of the bunch. Good lineup, an amazing great version of “Reefer Madness” kicking it off, classics like “Brainstorm” and “Sonic Attack,” plus a bunch of tunes I wasn’t already familiar with. Up there with the best of my Hawks records, this is the one I find myself reaching for the most, of the stuff that’s newer to the Hawkwind section and hasn’t already been listened to fifty times like “Complete ’79” or “Space Ritual.” –Guest Contributor (Hawk Records/Voiceprint)

HAWKWIND:
Family Tree: CD
The actual Hawkwind content on this album is a bit on the low side, basically consisting of one ’79 version of “MotorwayCity”; the rest is extracurricular cuts by members of the current Hawkwind lineup. The first half of the record is the most un-Hawklike, since Brock didn’t have anything to do with it as far as I can tell. The second half features four all-Brock-all-instruments tracks (which sound pretty similar to what’s on “Spacebrock”), one track by Brock plus two Hawks, then ends with the live ’79 cut. Not at all a bad listen, but not as essential as the other Hawkwind/Voiceprint releases by any means. –Guest Contributor (Hawk Records/Voiceprint)

HAWKWIND:
Spacebrock: CDR
Whereas the other Hawkwind discs I’m writing about here are archival releases, “Spacebrock” is an all-new for 2000 album. As you might expect, it sounds vastly different from the vintage stuff and features a completely different lineup other than titular mainman Dave Brock himself; actually, the largely electronic and sample-based sound of the disc in combination with the title tends to make one wonder if this isn’t effectively a solo album with several contributions by Brock’s touring cohorts. Regardless, don’t expect a spacerock retread or simulation here - I get the idea Brock’s basically trying to reinvent the spacerock idea for the present, and he’s often very successful. Someone who only liked, say, the Hawks with Lemmy-era stuff might be a bit startled - hell, they might not even recognize it as Hawkwind - but as long as you don’t come to the party expecting the familiar it shouldn’t be a problem. The oddest thing is the credit on the back that says “Life Form” was in the movie “Any Given Sunday.” Really? That Al Pacino/Cameron Diaz football movie? I didn’t see it - I’m not big on sports - but now I almost want to check it out to see if the Hawks are in the background there or what. –Guest Contributor (Hawk Records/Voiceprint)

HAWKWIND:
Weird Tapes 1: Sonic Assassins, Dave Brock: CD
This initial entry in the “Weird Tapes” series is basically a split release, combining half an album’s worth of the Sonic Assassins live on Christmas Eve 1977 with a bit less than half an album’s worth of Dave Brock solo tracks, plus one extant Hawkwind live version of “Who’s Gonna Win the War,” perhaps to justify the Hawkwind logo on the front, since the bulk of the album isn’t technically Hawkwind. Still, the Sonic Assassins (described in Pete Frame’s Rock Family Trees as Brock’s local/second-string group of the time) here also feature full-fledged Hawkwind member Bob Calvert alongside the Assassins, two of whom would end up in the Hawklords in a short while anyway. It’s a bit less straight-up spacey as Hawkwind proper, with a few more jazzy overtones, but if you put this stuff on a comp in between Hawkwind tracks I doubt you’d hear a shocking difference. Brock’s solo stuff here falls a bit in the sparse-and-experimental category, and is overall of less interest except for “Assassination,” which is more successful. –Guest Contributor (Hawk Records/Voiceprint)

HAWKWIND:
Weird Tapes 2: Hawkwind Live/Hawklords Studio : CD
This volume of the Weird Tapes presents a five-track chunk from a 1977 “Spirit of the Age” tour Leicester gig, filled out with three Hawklords (the band Dave Brock formed after temporarily breaking up Hawkwind in the late ‘70s - which quickly evolved back into Hawkwind, naturally enough) studio tracks, presumably otherwise unreleased. Nice clear sound on the live stuff and a focus here on poet/vocalist Bob Calvert’s material: four of the five Hawkwind cuts have a Calvert writing or co-writing credit. Interesting contrast with the Hawklords tracks, which are sans Calvert although he was among the ‘lords initially. Creative tensions aside, he’s in fine form here, as is the rest of the group. The Hawklords cuts aren’t quite as striking, being a bit keys-heavy guitar-light, and the sound’s a bit pinched, but they’re not too problematic; if nothing else they certainly help justify the Weird Tapes heading. –Guest Contributor (Hawk Records/Voiceprint)

HAWKWIND:
Weird Tapes 3: Free Festivals: CD
This one’s almost too good to be true: Hawkwind at Stonehenge! The first five tracks are, anyway - recorded at a free festival amongst the famous stones in 1977 - while the remaining three come from a 1975 gig (the Watchfield Festival, apparently) with a totally different lineup besides Brock. The latter are a bit lower-fi than the Stonehenge tracks, which are nice and clear, but the Watchfield extracts only comprise about a quarter of the playing time anyway - obviously the Stonehenge stuff is the main attraction here. –Guest Contributor (Hawk Records/Voiceprint)

HAWKWIND:
Weird Tapes 5: Live : CD
Here we find unspecified (as to date-and-location) live excerpts from two different lineups, one from the seven-piece ‘76 band with Nik Turner and one from ‘77 following the departure of Turner, bassist Paul Rudolph and one of the two drummers. A bit more laid-back and less raging than the majority of live Hawkwind records overall, there’s still plenty going on here and unlike the first three volumes of the Weird Tapes it’s all Hawkwind and all prime. Plus, there’s even a vintage radio ad for “Quark, Strangeness & Charm” on Sire Records thrown in for good measure. (I wouldn’t mind hearing more of this kind of audio ephemera on the Weird Tapes series: after all, with the Weird Tapes name as a caveat emptor, it seems like about any kind of recording could be legitimately included, as long as it’s audible. Band dialogue, arguments, crowd noise, whatever. Hell, it’s not like people don’t already expect freaky shit from Hawkwind anyway.) –Guest Contributor (Hawk Records/Voiceprint)

HAWKWIND:
Weird Tapes 4: Live : CD
The straightest-ahead of the Weird Tapes discs: it’s all (gasp) from one Hawkwind lineup, no ringers from side bands or solo projects tossed in, all live Hawkwind from 1978. Definitely more rockin’ than the bulk of these releases, and probably the most highly recommended of the Weird Tapes discs - if you only want to buy one (at first…) you could do worse than to start with v. 4. It’s got “Urban Guerilla,” probably my favorite Hawkwind song bar none, and the consistency of this disc makes it the most palatable to the ear in ways than the grab-bag nature of the other discs in the Weird Tapes series - it basically sounds like an unreleased live album, and a pretty good one at that. Definitely a worthy addition to the canon. –Guest Contributor (Hawk Records/Voiceprint)

HAYMAKER:
Fuck America: 7"
Musically, this is good. Solid, fast hardcore. But I looked at the lyrics. I'm no big fan of all governmental policy by any means, but this just pushes it too far. One of the problems is that they never specify anything. It's just fuck America, government is big brother, blabitty blah. Nothing solid, no examples, no reason for this hatred. To top it off, the solution offered is violent (and grammatically incorrect): "We'll attack with knife/cut out your eyes/slit your throats/and hang you by your string of lies,/your a politician/a fucking liar." Plus, in the liner notes it says, "In God we trust, all others we kill!!!" That scares me. –Megan Pants (www.haymaker.ca)

HAYMAKER:
Self-titled: CD
Some pretty swell hardcore. The tempo is frantic without being so fast that it becomes silly, the singer sounds pissed, and the rest of the band is a little like a more metallic Brother Inferior. The lyrics aren’t vapid or just plain stupid, not one single song reaches the minute-and-a-half mark, and there’s even cover art by Pushead, the first I’ve personally seen on a punk record in quite some time. What more could you ask for? –Jimmy Alvarado (Deranged)

HAYMAKER:
Fuck America: 7"
Musically, this is good. Solid, fast hardcore. But I looked at the lyrics. I’m no big fan of all governmental policy by any means, but this just pushes it too far. One of the problems is that they never specify anything. It’s just fuck America, government is big brother, blabitty blah. Nothing solid, no examples, no reason for this hatred. To top it off, the solution offered is violent (and grammatically incorrect): “We’ll attack with knife/cut out your eyes/slit your throats/and hang you by your string of lies,/your a politician/a fucking liar.” Plus, in the liner notes it says, “In God we trust, all others we kill!!!” That scares me. –Megan Pants (www.haymaker.ca)

HAYMARKET RIOT:
Bloodshot Eyes: CD
Emo. Do I really need to say any more? Okay, it started off nice and discordant and got progressively worse. Happy? –Jimmy Alvarado (www.thickrecords.com)

HAYMARKET RIOT:
Mog: CD
Post-punk college radio pap that I tend to ignore. –Donofthedead (Thick)

HAYMARKET RIOT:
Bloodshot Eyes: CD
Emo. Do I really need to say any more? Okay, it started off nice and discordant and got progressively worse. Happy? –Jimmy Alvarado (www.thickrecords.com)

HBLOOCK101:
Human Flotsam: CD
From what I gather, this is a collection of EPs from an Australian band that has been around for a while. They serve up some prime-grade punk rock here, with politically oriented lyrics that don’t come off as preachy in the least and some catchy, straight-ahead punk riffage. There are a few covers on here, all of which, with the exception of “The Harder They Come,” (don’t fuck with Jimmy Cliff, boyos) are quite nearly as good as the originals. Most impressive is that they describe themselves as playing “’77-influenced punk rock,” yet, even though they cover the Heartbreakers, they sound nothing like the Thunders-worshipping lemmings that glom onto that description like junked-out moths to a flaming kilo of black tar. Definitely worth a listen. –Jimmy Alvarado (Mad Butcher)

HDH:
Diesel: CD
Swing-punk, if you can believe that. They sound like the Voodoo Glow Skulls if they slowed down and ditched the ska riffs. –Jimmy Alvarado (Slimstyle, 3400 E. Speedway, Suite 118-272, Tucson, AZ 85716)

HDH:
Diesel: CD
Swing‑punk, if you can believe that. They sound like the Voodoo Glow Skulls if they slowed down and ditched the ska riffs. –Jimmy Alvarado (Slimstyle)

HEAD:
No Hugging! No Learning!: LP
Pretty much any Ramoneage Cloneage bands from the last fifteen years or so owe a debt of some sort to one of two parties: Head, from Seattle, to whom “I Don’t Wanna Be Learned/ I Don’t Wanna Be Tamed” was just about right, “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue” was evolved and brilliant, and “Loudmouth” was just too friggin’ fancy—and the Richies, from Germany. And, as big a fan as i was of the early singles like “Magic 8-Ball” and the early 12” “Street Level Assault,” i thought their first true full-length, “The Monkeys,” fell flat, largely owing to the band’s inability to charm in songs with more than, say, four lines of lyrics. And, while it’s good to hear the band again in any way/ shape/ form, i think that’s still somewhat the case—Head seem to be angling for position as sort of a retarded version of M.O.T.O. (“I’m 35 Years Older Than You”); a task which i remain unconvinced they are able to successfully undertake. Includes a neat and unexpected cover of the Turtles’ “Outside Chance.” BEST SONG: I dunno, i suppose “Outside Chance” BEST SONG TITLE: “Girl-Girl Action” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Comes with a large poster of the band. Unfortunately, the band ain’t exactly much to look at these days… –Rev. Norb (Evil Clown)

HEAD:
No Hugging No Learning: LP
Finally! Nearly ten years after their first full length and six years since the last single, Head, from Seattle, are back. Strong as ever with their Angry Samoans-meets-Ramones madness. Great songs, totally dum and stoopid in the best way. Comes with huge poster that will look great on your wall. Keep your eyes peeled for a single on Goner Records this year. An all time favorite of mine, glad to seem them still kicking ass. –Mike Frame (Evil Clown)

HEAD HOME:
Outside My Window: 12”EP
Daryl said that I would probably like this because it’s shoe gaze. Well, he was right on both counts. It’s shoe gaze and I like it. It’s shoe gaze that is more concerned with rocking and melody than experimental soundscapes. In fact, you aren’t going to find anything you might think of when you hear “experimental soundscapes” on here. Don’t get me wrong, there is a big, atmospheric sound on here quite frequently, but it’s free from any bullshit. It’s kinda reminiscent of Swervedriver’s Ejector Seat Reservation. The little catalog that accompanies this 12” makes a comparison of the Head Home to Dinosaur Jr., and I’d be hard pressed to say that it’s a bad comparison. The guitars are big and rockin’ and aren’t afraid of pop and melody; the vocals are smooth yet slightly distorted and meld perfectly into the rhythm. This is good stuff! –Vincent Battilana (Wallride)

HEAD ON COLLISION:
Ritual Sacrifice: CD
Speed metal owing much from predecessors like Sodom, Kreator and, yes, Slayer. If that sounds appealing, you could easily do much worse than this. –Jimmy Alvarado (Beer City)

HEADACHE:
Discography: CD + Book
At first listen, I fucking hated this. Initially, the song structures had all the cohesion of a shattered windshield and I could feel my stress level rising within the first thirty seconds of this disc being played. The term jarring is apt. Stuff like this, recorded, has never translated well for me. Live, I’m sure I’d be wiggling one leg like crazy and trying to figure out how the hell they’re jumping from one fucked-up time signature to another, but when I was sitting here trying to write record reviews, it just made me want to pull my own goddamn fingernails out. Then I put it on again, and started to notice odd little sections (or even the occasionally complete song) where they just go flat-out and work the pedal down—wacky off-time drum parts with feral wolverine screeching over the top is replaced with something off of a long-forgotten streetpunk record. And even the jarring, discordant, manic parts started to gel into something whole. The CD comes packaged in a gorgeous book full of liner notes, comics, lyrics and writings—some of them seemingly nonsensical and some of them more coherent and focused. All in all, Headache’s a band that would probably floor a shitload of people live and are well-suited for folks who think bands like Ruins and Deerhoof are just the shit. –Keith Rosson (Life Is Abuse)

HEADACHE:
Discography: CD and Book
At first listen, I fucking hated this. Initially, the song structures had all the cohesion of a shattered windshield and I could feel my stress level rising within the first thirty seconds of this disc being played. The term jarring is apt. Stuff like this, recorded, has never translated well for me. Live, I’m sure I’d be wiggling one leg like crazy and trying to figure out how the hell they’re jumping from one fucked-up time signature to another, but when I was sitting here trying to write record reviews, it just made me want to pull my own goddamn fingernails out. Then I put it on again, and started to notice odd little sections (or even the occasionally complete song) where they just go flat-out and work the pedal down—wacky off-time drum parts with feral wolverine screeching over the top is replaced with something off of a long-forgotten streetpunk record. And even the jarring, discordant, manic parts started to gel into something whole. The CD comes packaged in a gorgeous book full of liner notes, comics, lyrics and writings—some of them seemingly nonsensical and some of them more coherent and focused. All in all, Headache’s a band that would probably floor a shitload of people live and are well-suited for folks who think bands like Ruins and Deerhoof are just the shit. –Keith Rosson (Life Is Abuse)

HEADACHE CITY:
Self-titled: CD
I had expectations, but I wasn’t quite ready for how slithery and juicy Headache City is. It’s like their songs have Vaseline’d up Slip-n-Slides in the middle of ‘em: vlooop, songs just quirt by. It’s just so “jazzy,” too. Not jazz-ish, but so palatable and unique. It’s a double head scratcher that when the songs are taken out of the context and sequence from the album: they’re nicely weird universes into themselves. It’s like a puzzle where every piece is its own mini picture, but when they’re all interlocked, there’s something definitely larger to hear that’s presented by the length of the album. I’m fully aware that I’m stretching here, but it’s like The Fuses meet early Bauhaus meet Manikin meet Lost Sounds. I was fully expecting driving oddrock—which they deliver. I wasn’t expecting the atmosphere and flourishes. This rubbed me completely the right way…and I didn’t know I needed the rubbing. –Todd Taylor (Shit Sandwich)

HEADACHE CITY:
Knee Jerk Reaction: 7"
Three concrete-solid, organ-heavy tunes that are blunt on impact (there’s no “trying to figure the song out” fineries), that effectively hold up to repeated listens, and includes an ex-Motard in its lineup. Although this three-songer has the checklist of “what is this new new wave doohickey?” marked off, these tracks seem much more genre-resilient and muscle flexing than most of the dandy poofs who are trotting out their keyboards and prancing around like helium-filled robots in striped shirts. Headache City’s got a bite and you can tap your toes along to them. What’s not to like? –Todd Taylor (Shit Sandwich)

HEADGRENADE:
Self-titled: CD
Gallop-tempo hardcore with a sound circa 1986. Whoever wrote the lyrics is pretty fond of alliteration. Pretty good. –Jimmy Alvarado (702, PO Box 204, Reno, NV 89504)

HEADGRENADE:
Self-titled: CD
Gallop‑tempo hardcore with a sound circa 1986. Whoever wrote the lyrics is pretty fond of alliteration. Pretty good. –Jimmy Alvarado (702)

HEADHUNTERS, THE:
Escape the Grave: 7”
Punk bands can be so encouraging. Always railing against the system, stickin’ it to the man, defending your right to be yourself, no matter how fucked up you might be. Of course, sometimes the venom of bands like the Headhunters can be diluted by lyrics like “Don’t let them take your dreams away!” That’s nice, but isn’t “they” a little vague? And then there’s the b-side, “Skinhead Time.” The world needs another hooligan shout-a-long about “boots and braces” like it needs another Third World invasion. And what’s with all the misplaced nostalgia? What exactly was so fucking wonderful about the good ol’ skinhead days? Were Docs cheaper or something? Where there less poseurs or immigrants or what? Who cares? This sort of hooligan romanticism gives me the creeps. –Eric Rife (Haunted Town)

HEADIES, THE:
Sugar and Spice (And Everything’s Fucked): CD
What you got here is fun garage punk with a big dollop of primitive ‘60s influences and a great album title. Fourteen blasts of catchy melodies all contained in songs less than two and a half minutes, eleven of which are originals penned by The Headies. The lyrics are equal parts crude and cute which always seems fitting for garage rock of this nature. Highly recommended if you are a fan of acts as diverse as The Angry Samoans, Gas Huffer, early Screeching Weasel, or if you are just looking for an entertaining, snotty album to play at your next party. –Guest Contributor (Madison Underground Press)

HEADLINERS, THEE:
Rain & Blood: CD
This is one helluva album. Incorporating all the music genres that I love, Thee Headliners hit all the marks of Americana, invoking catchy elements of blues and country with male and female harmonies. Jeremy’s baritone vocals are nearly comical in “Howling at the Moon,” which found me doing just that. “Double Dutch” and “SketchCity” veer toward surf and bouncy, high octane garage rock. Just when I thought they wouldn’t throw me another curveball, they upped the ante with Holly’s soulful, “You Don’t Know.” All over the map, but good stuff. Recommended. –Kristen K (Starcleaner, myspace.com/starcleanerrecords)

HEADS AND BODIES:
Ground to Join the Dust: 5-song CDEP
If earnestness could automatically equate to a great record, Heads and Bodies would be way ahead of the game. It’s apparent that they’re going for something new and distinct. The CD starts off super promising. The first track, “The Will of Machines,” is loud, swerving, and bombastic, and reminds me of a jubilant mix between Discount and Jawbox, punctuated by dual male and female vocals. On “Margo’s Forehead Doesn’t Deserve Jack Shit,” it strikes me that I can’t place another punk song that I’ve ever heard a clarinet on. But somewhere near the middle of that song to the end of the CD, the band loses my interest more and more. Songs meander and mope around. Structure seems to just collapse. Songs blend into one another and lack cohesion. They’re too long. It’s no fun at all. And, unfortunately, by the end, I’m just bored. It’s sort of a chore to finish the EP. –Todd Taylor (Heads and Bodies)

HEADS, THE:
Under the Stress of a Headlong Drive: CD
Mudhoney eats the brown acid. –Jimmy Alvarado (Alternative Tentacles)

HEADWOUND:
Ginmill: CD
Decent enough punk rock with an '80s feel to the proceedings. –Jimmy Alvarado (Haunted Town)

HEADWOUND:
Ginmill: CD
So-so, straight-ahead, hard-as-nails, shitty-luck punk. Nothing to begrudge them on, it’s just that I can’t pull one thing that makes them distinctive in any way, shape, or form. Includes a passable cover of John Denver’s “Leaving on a Jetplane." –Todd Taylor (Haunted Town)

HEADWOUND:
Ginmill: CD
Decent enough punk rock with an ‘80s feel to the proceedings. –Jimmy Alvarado (Haunted Town)

HEADWOUND CITY:
Self-titled: CDEP
Nine song EP from side project made up of members of The Locust, The Blood Brothers, and Yeah Yeah Yeah. The cover art is sick (in a good way) and the song titles probably give you a clue of what city we’re headed to: “Prick Class,” “Thrash Zoo,” and “Michael J. Fux Feat. Gnarls in Charge.” But the music is giving me a fuckin’ headache. Triage is too late for this ripe discharge. Avoid this city at all costs. –Sean Koepenick (Three One G)

HEAR THE SIRENS:
Anywhere but Home: 7” EP
Warped Tour punk rock with all its whoas in all the right places. –Jimmy Alvarado (Silly Girl)

HEART BEATZ:
Self-titled: 7” EP
Loud, overblown Reatards worship. Could be worse, I guess—they could be fascinated with Piebald. –Jimmy Alvarado (Going Underground)

HEART BEATZ:
Self-titled: 7"
Very simple garage rock’n’roll. Three songs and three dollars I’m not getting back. It sounds a lot like bands that are good, while not being any good itself. The lyrics are really cheesy and can be summed up into “filthy sluts/always after me,” “mom kicked me out,” and “I’m really scared to die.” I am really scared by the fact someone actually gave this band a second thought. –Rene Navarro (Going Underground)

HEARTACHES, THE:
Too Cool for School: CD
Rock’n’roll with Vinnie Barbarino singing. Pretty cool, straight forward rockin’, na na na ner na na na NA na na na ner ner NA gonna dance gonna dance gonna dance tonite. Devil Dogs, a little Makers, a sped up Love cover. Almost too produced for me but if any of these songs came on the jukebox I’d be happy. The sticker on the front warning me that I will be punished if I trade or sell the CD loses some of the fun, though. –Speedway Randy (Swami)

HEARTATTACKS, THE:
Hangin’ on, Waste My Time b/w Rejected at the High School Dance: 7”

Go ahead. Mark up the magazine. Draw a line from one column to the next and match them up. Any combination will help you understand where Sweden’s The Heartattacks are coming from and you’ll see that you really can’t lose with any of the possibilities.

Little Richard Devil Dogs

Jerry Lee Lewis Saints

Pre-marital sex Leg Hounds

Unprotected sex (pre ‘70s) Teengenerate

Puking on yourself The Jewws

Projectile vomiting on others Ramones

–Todd Taylor (High School Reject)

HEARTATTACKS, THE:
Your Lies: 7” EP
The World At Large refers to this band as the “Swedish Teengenerate.” The label claims that they are actually the Swedish Registrators. I refute both parties, and declare them to be the Swedish Phantom Rats. WE CAN NEVER BE FRIENDS! NONE OF US! MORTAL ENEMIES FOR LIFE! I will form a discussion group where we can settle these issues before our differences tear us apart. BEST SONG: “Floozie of the Neighbourhood” BEST SONG TITLE: Same, i guess FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: I don’t know the name of that Goner Records font. –Rev. Norb (Plastic Idol)

HEARTATTACKS, THE:
Self-titled: 7” EP
Could take or leave the a-side tune, “Stay/Go,” and the b-side closer, “That Girl,” but “Nothing Better to Do” is one catchy bit of up-tempo, trashy punk. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.plasticidoldrecords.com)

HEARTBEEPS:
Self-titled: EP
A couple of ex-TV Killers dudes have a new band, which is along the same lines as the former, though this new outfit may be a little more edgy. “Boring Life with No Guitar” is a hyper song that possesses all the traits of a good punk song: attitude, style, and frantic pacing. “Losin’ Control” is a mid-tempo breather, then they close out with cover of Love’s “My Flash on You.” Pretty good stuff, no doubt. There’s only 500 pressed, so don’t delay. –Matt Average (Frantic City / Heartbeeps)

HEARTBEEPS:
Self-titled: 7”
Every tune has its share of blues guitar soloing, akin to what The Briefs do in their songs. There’s not a down tempo tune out any of these songs. Everything is solid, up beat, and in-your-face, layered with heavy, distorted guitar tones washed in plenty of fuzz. Every tune here has a classic rock feel and reminds me of something Mooney Suzuki would write if they sped up their songs and added layers of grit and attitude. Not a bad song here, but my favorite is their Love cover, “My Flash on You.” It’s starts out with a sloppily strummed acoustic guitar, making me think it was going to be a complete change of direction, but then the tune just swells up into the raging punk that these guys play. I’m very happy pogo-ing to this record. The way they captured their energy on this record, I’m sure I’d feel the same about their live show. –N.L. Dewart (Frantic City)

HEARTBREAK ENGINES:
Good Drinks, Good Butts, Good Fellows: CD
Rockabilly for guys who strike a chord with CD titles that may be interpreted as a calling to being homosexual but too macho to believe it or people who really dig Tiger Army and the Nekromantix. –Donofthedead (I Used to Fuck People like You in Prison)

HEARTBURNS, THE:
Fixin’ to Die: CD
Loud, raucous, and rockin’, like the Dead Boys as interpreted by the Marked Men. The lyrics ain’t nothin’ to write home about, but the music here is top notch. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.fireinsidemusic.com)

HEARTBURNS, THE/FRANKIE THE DAMAGE:
Split: 7”
Both bands play loud, mid-tempo punk rock with heavy guitars –Jimmy Alvarado (Wanton)

HEARTFELT BASTARD:
EP’d My Pants: 7” EP
Decent enough poppy punk stuff here from these Colorado kids. My preference is for the more uptempo stuff, but there’s enough humor infused in the proceedings to keep one from losing interest. –Jimmy Alvarado (Heartfelt Bastard)

HEAT LIGHTNING:
Even a Baby Could Do That: CD
Seriously damaged tinkle, like a less-sophisticated Sockeye. Or a more-sophisticated one, I can’t tell. “I Wish I Had a Dog” (“Cuz dogs are better than cats”) probably didn’t take a lot of staying up nights to get written, but a “Mexican Robot” seems like a pretty advanced subject. “Nothing Is Simple” is actually a pretty well put together song with a nice violin line over a thick guitar melody. “5-0 Come Creepin’” has the funniest drums in the bunch (drums can be funny). The real crowning glory, however, is the ten-minute “Louie Style,” a hilarious and vigorously bent scat-noise jam. And for once, don’t miss the retarded fiddle-rap extra track. –Cuss Baxter (Horrendous Failure)

HEATH DEADGER:
Self-titled: Cassette
Musically competent thrash punk played with precision and utter disdain for any vocal performance that contains even a hint of actual melody. Not something to throw on at your next BBQ. But “So Black Jesus Has Descended” has a nice beat and you can dance to it, so what the hell do I know? –Sean Koepenick (self-released)

HEATHERS:
Here Not There: CD
Like an Irish Tegan And Sara fronting Even In Blackouts. I like all three of those things a lot, and I sure as hell like this record. It’s just dual vocals and acoustic guitar (with cello on a few tracks), but the sound is somehow bigger than that. Sisters Louise and Ellie MacNamara fucking wail on this eleven-song CD, released jointly by Florida’s Plan-It X and Dublin’s Hide Away Records. The songs are short and sweet bursts of two-part harmony, sass, and brilliance. Oh, and there’s a dinosaur on the cover. D’you ever feel like someone created a record just for you? Damn, I was so absorbed I just missed my bus stop. –Guest Contributor (Plan-It X/Hide Away)

HEATHERS, THE:
Lose It: Demo CDEP
I can’t tell if The Heathers are quickly on their way to becoming something totally awesome, like The Carrie Nations, or something that started out fucking great then ended in a big shrug, like Kosher, or something like Hot Carl that took a long fucking time to develop and exceeded all expectations, years later as The Chinese Telephones. Because The Heathers have that effortless, elastic quality that stretches through three decades of rock’n’roll, DIY punk, early English punk, and are able to kaleidoscope through snatches of the Wipers, Apocalypse Hoboken, The Embarrassment, and weird ‘80s guitar flashes, like the catchiest of The Church. Here’s to hoping they chose the right paths in the long run. A complete surprise. Stoked. –Todd Taylor (Self-released)

HEATSEEKERS, THE:
In Praise of…: CD
Not essential, but far from disposable garage punk that owes a lot to the New Bomb Turks, both in the high-stepping instruments and the clear, jets-in-the-stratosphere vocals of either Ryan or Owen (they both sing). There’s no denying that they’re catchy, have much-better-than-average songwriting skills, know what works in the Cramps catalog, and can play well. But I don’t hear that extra spark. Take someone along the lines of the Beltones (who used to live nearby, if I’m not mistaken), a band that took a very similar, tightly clustered set of cues and mixed up the mix just enough to stake their own claim. I’m willing to give the Heatseekers some leeway and hear their next release because parts of songs really get moving, but taken as a whole, it sits right in the middle. On related news, the drummer, Chuck Loose, makes some graphically arresting cool gig posters. You can check them out on the internet. –Todd Taylor (OHEV; www.ohevrecords.com)

HEAVENLY:
Heavenly Versus Satan: CD
As it says right here on the CD case, “This is a reissue and first ever US domestic release of the classic debut album by Heavenly!” I can hear where Heavenly inspired bands like Tiger Trap, Jade, and any various bands that involve an uplifting, fast paced, acoustic guitar sound fronted by female vocals. I am not saying bands like this are boring or unimaginative. This is simply a great sound that aims to turn anyone's frown upside down. Light, airy and sweet. Kinda like a lemon meringue pie. Yummy. –Guest Contributor (K)

HEAVY BLINKERS:
The Night and I are Still So Young: CD
Reminds me of the Carpenters and The Association in all the wrong ways. –Jimmy Alvarado (Cooking Vinyl)

HEAVY GUERILLA:
Pariah Time: 7”
The music is more or less straightforward, by-the-numbers hardcore, but I’m just not diggin’ the singer’s delivery. No real surprises here, but I imagine they’d probably be more impressive feeding off the energy of a live setting. –Jimmy Alvarado (Pass Line)

HEAVY HEARTS:
Self-titled: CDEP
Indie rock that’s stuck in the ‘90s. Undeniable Jawbox, Fugazi and Versus influences. I’m so outta touch with this scene that I didn’t know people made music that sounded like this anymore. Not my cup of slop, but okay if you like the three bands mentioned above. –Josh Benke (The Swingline)

HEAVY TRASH:
Self-titled: CD
It’s Jon Spencer and a guy from Speedball Baby, and I’m sure it’s the mildest Jon Spencer I’ve ever heard, though occasionally quite nice in spite of too much reverb, twang, and pedal steel. Purchasers of non-promo copies might be interested to know that the focus tracks are #5, 8, 3 and 2, though #3 sports the word “shit,” so don’t play it on the radio. –Cuss Baxter (Yep Roc)

HEAVY TRASH:
Going Way Out with...: CD
Jon Spencer has been around for ages, and I gotta admit, this is the first time I have ever knowingly sat down to listen to one of his records. Heavy Trash is Spencer and Matt Verta-Ray, formerly of Madder Rose and Speedball Baby, backed by three different bands in various studios around the world. Whatever the incarnation, wherever the location, these wild, not-so-young bucks kick out scorching country-blues, rampaging rockabilly, and full-throttled rock’n’roll. From the early Johnny Cash tones of “That Ain’t Right” to the sheer rock’n’roll exuberance of “They Were Kings” (giving props to The Gories, The Cheater Slicks, and Doo Rag) and “Crazy Pritty Baby,” Going Way Out With… will force your hair into a pompadour of its own accord and your feet to slide around the dance floor independently of your brain. Killer stuff. –Josh Benke (Yep Roc)

HEAVY TRASH:
Midnight Soul Serenade: CD
Had to take a look and see if Tchad Blake and/or Mitchell Froom had a hand in producing this. Much of what’s here sounds like a cross between later period Tom Waits and Los Lobos’ more recent art-slathered take on rock’n’roll and blues, which is by no means an insult. Jon Spencer and Matt Verta-Ray add a bit more of their own sociopathic predilections to the proceedings, meaning the ride is often loud and odd. Great stuff. –Jimmy Alvarado (biglegalmessrecords.com)

HEDRONS, THE:
One More Won’t Kill Us: CD
Twelve-song disc of mid ‘90s alterna rock from this band from Glasgow, Scotland. Fans of Veruca Salt, Fur, New York Loose, or The Goops will have a nice decade ago flashback with this one. Not bad for what it is, but nothing to get too excited about. –Mike Frame (Measured)

HEIMATLOS:
La Seconde Nécessaire 1982-1988: CD
A “complete recordings” collection courtesy of a band purported to be France’s first true “hardcore” band. Compiled here are ninety tracks from assorted releases, demos, live cuts, and even a version of one of their songs performed by another band. Musically, much of this pretty smokin’, with a nice BGK burn to much of the proceedings, and maybe a dash of Dead Kennedys, Mob 47 and others thrown in for color here and there. The lyrics are sung in French, German, Spanish, Finnish, Swedish and English, which has to be some kind of record. Having heard nary a note from them prior, I’m must say I’m mightily impressed. –Jimmy Alvarado (Ratbone)

HEINOUS BIENFANG:
Makin' It Nice for the People: CD
Louis Armstrong fronts an indie-rock band. Results are about as exciting as that description would imply. –Jimmy Alvarado (Moodswing)

HEINOUS BIENFANG:
Makin’ It Nice for the People: CD
Louis Armstrong fronts an indie-rock band. Results are about as exciting as that description would imply. –Jimmy Alvarado (Moodswing)

HEIZ, THE:
Self-titled: CD
A Japanese trash rock band that sounds like they cribbed the same influences and best parts of John Lennon’s early ‘60s work with the Beatles and recorded it in an empty club with only a room mic, albeit one that managed to pick up some clear sound. The grinder “Please Don’t Cry” appeals to my inner Midniters fan and, on the whole, they do what they do with enough energy and passion that you can’t help but dig ’em. –Jimmy Alvarado (tokyonorecords.com)

HELGAS, THE:
'Til the Wheels Fall Off: CD
Attention! This sounds nothing like most Pelado bands. Not a garage punk thing at all! Instead, the Helgas sound like something you’d hear on the college radio in the mid-1980s, in between REM and the Pixies. Unfortunately, this is nowhere near as good as either of those bands. Pretty generic, slower rock. If it were a cereal, it’d be Crispix. A relic of the past! –Maddy (Pelado)

HELGAS, THE:
Why You Wanna: 7”
After several listens, The Helgas slowly grew on me like blue fungal mold on a loaf of bread. At first, I honestly didn’t know what to think of their distinctly unique musical quirkiness, but then I decided that they sound vaguely similar to the Ramones (rhythmically), Buzzcocks (vocals and catchy poppy edge), and even Buddy Holly to a certain degree. Yeh, I’ll definitely give this lively lil’ 7-incher several more spins on the ol’ turntable during the next few days, ‘cause it makes me feel all giddy and tingly inside. Aw, shucks! –Guest Contributor (They Still Make Records)

HELGAS, THE:
self-titled: 5-song 7" EP

Perfectly acceptable, well-executed mid-tempo pop punk with a couple of good lyrics. None of the songs are bad, but on the same token, none of them are infectious nor have deep-sinking teeth. It's like they took the least compelling parts of the Hollies (like the tempo) and stapled them onto heavily leashed '77 punk. It's just okay, but it sounds overwhelmingly neutral. I think a band like Moral Crux does this loads better, mixing bubblegum with firepower with the result of having a senior prom leading to a nuclear apocalypse. –Todd (They Still Make Records)

–Todd Taylor (They Still Make Records)

HELL BRIGADE:
Self-Titled: CD
Meathead thrashy stuff about drinking Colt 45 and the end of the world. I’ll pass. –Megan Pants (www.hellbrigade.net)

HELL ON EARTH:
Early Years - Hell Never Let’s Go! Pt. 1: 7"
Fifteen song demo from a black metal band recorded on a 4-track that sounds more like it was from a boombox. –Donofthedead (Trigger on the Dutendoo)

HELL ON HEELS:
Dogs, Records & Wine: CD
I’m not sure where Hell On Heels has been all my life, but wow, I’m sure glad this CD ended up in my review pile. This is the kind of album I would actually go out and purchase of my own accord. These ladies know how to write a great rock’n’roll song and, thankfully, they also kick ass when it comes to playing those rock’n’roll songs. The guitar and vocals are particular highlights, but I also love the fact that there’s a keyboard player who knows how to add to the songs without once making me think of The Doors. Checking out the liner notes made me love them even more because, number one: these girls are seriously foxy, and number two: some of the proceeds from the album are going to the animal rights charity Last Chance For Animals. These ladies like their dogs just as much as their records and wine. –Jennifer Whiteford (Dionysus)

HELL, THE:
Self-titled demo: CD
This sounds like Drinkers Purgatory mixed with the first Hives EP on Gearhead. Lyrics about wanting to kill the bombmaker’s daughter and making emo kids eat shit—you know, stuff like that. These songs seem more lame than sarcastic though: “Little rich girls, with diamonds and pearls, called me a faggot from the window of their dad’s SUV... StabNGrab! Oh yes! Now I’m a criminal!” Uhm... okay? –Mr. Z (The Hell)

HELL, THE:
Self-titled: CD
Fast and furious Zeke / Speedealer style mayhem. This shit is pretty excellently fast and rocking, like Turbonegro smoking a chopped-up Dwarves album out of a light bulb. Another win for Carbondale! –Ben Snakepit (Let’s Pretend)

HELLA:
Acoustics: CDEP
To each his own I guess. If listening to two people jam is cool for you, this might be your thing. Listening to one person drumming while another is whacking off on the guitar, is not mine. –Donofthedead (5rc)

HELLA:
Dilute: 2 X CD
Two full disks of free-form jam rock. I just don’t get that shit. Maybe I don’t have the right drugs. I hope I never get a hold of any. –Megan Pants (Sickroom)

HELLACOPTERS, THE:
By the Grace of God: CD
The back describes the band as Sweden's answer to Kiss, Cheap Trick, and Thin Lizzy. The Hellacopters are accomplished and could open for those bands perfectly, but let's not take Cheap Trick's name in vain. And who could match the truly Neanderthal lyrics of Gene Simmons? –Guest Contributor (www.liquorandpokermusic.com)

HELLACOPTERS, THE:
By the Grace of God: CD
The back describes the band as Sweden’s answer to Kiss, Cheap Trick, and Thin Lizzy. The Hellacopters are accomplished and could open for those bands perfectly, but let’s not take Cheap Trick’s name in vain. And who could match the truly Neanderthal lyrics of Gene Simmons? –Speedway Randy (Liquor and Poker Music; www.liquorandpokermusic.com)

HELLACOPTERS, THE & THE FLAMING SIDEBURNS:
White Trash Soul!: split CD
During the past couple of years, it seems that I've read boundless volumes of praise-ridden articles, reviews, and interviews voraciously advocating the mighty roaring rock'n'roll wrath of The Hellacopters. Until now, I hadn't been deemed lucky, blessed, or worthy enough by the otherwordly thundering Gods of Rock in the lightning-streaked hereafter to receive any Hellacopters' recorded rowdiness. Unfortunately, as fate would have it, I am unable to diligently review this here semi-sparkling audial platter due to severe scratches and deeply imbedded abrasions on its playing surface... yep, each and every time I've attempted to give it a rapidly whirling spin, it skips and splutters like a stuttering, malfunctioning android wired to the max on a lethal batch of homemade trailerpark meth. I dunno; in my sick, twisted, and overwhelmingly warped lil' mind, I'm conjuring images of Todd and Sean drunkenly engaging in a brutal deathmatch game of hall-hockey in their apartment and impulsively using this disc as a spur-of-the-moment substitute for a puck (actually, it looks more like they used it in an overly aggressive frisbee/rugby tournament in a gravel-strewn parking lot somewhere!). After they came to their somewhat sober senses, I can just picture 'em sayin', "Ooops, this one's a goner... let's send it to Rog... he stays so incoherently sloshed all the time, he'll never notice the difference. He'll just write it off as hardcore industrial noise terrorism, and then he'll unwittingly call it a day." Nice try, fellas! Due to your shameful bout of neglectful abuse viciously directed towards me, I'm gonna now sell my useless soul, become a psycho-rhetoric-espousin' hippie coke addict, and pompously pen artsy pseudo-intellectual pilf for Rolling Stone magazine. HaHaHa, how do ya like them cans of fuzzy lil' peaches?! Just kiddin', hombres! Seriously though, I still desperately need a Hellacopters fix someway, somehow, and sometime soon (and, hot damn, The Flaming Sideburns have a maddaddy killer-cool moniker; I'd sure like to be able to give them an attentive brew-drenched listen sometime in the very near future, as well). Anyway, if I were able to judge this badly abused disc just by its cover alone, I'd have to rate it as one helluva unruly rocker (the cover graphics are devilishly divine, indeed!)... –Roger Moser Jr. (Bad Afro, Post Restante, Frederiksberg Alle 6 DK-1820 Frederiksberg C, Denmark)

HELLACOPTERS, THE & THE FLAMING SIDEBURNS:
White Trash Soul!: Split CD
During the past couple of years, it seems that I've read boundless volumes of praise-ridden articles, reviews, and interviews voraciously advocating the mighty roaring rock'n'roll wrath of The Hellacopters. Until now, I hadn't been deemed lucky, blessed, or worthy enough by the otherwordly thundering Gods of Rock in the lightning-streaked hereafter to receive any Hellacopters' recorded rowdiness. Unfortunately, as fate would have it, I am unable to diligently review this here semi-sparkling audial platter due to severe scratches and deeply imbedded abrasions on its playing surface... yep, each and every time I've attempted to give it a rapidly whirling spin, it skips and splutters like a stuttering, malfunctioning android wired to the max on a lethal batch of homemade trailerpark meth. I dunno; in my sick, twisted, and overwhelmingly warped lil' mind, I'm conjuring images of Todd and Sean drunkenly engaging in a brutal deathmatch game of hall-hockey in their apartment and impulsively using this disc as a spur-of-the-moment substitute for a puck (actually, it looks more like they used it in an overly aggressive frisbee/rugby tournament in a gravel-strewn parking lot somewhere!). After they came to their somewhat sober senses, I can just picture 'em sayin', "Ooops, this one's a goner... let's send it to Rog... he stays so incoherently sloshed all the time, he'll never notice the difference. He'll just write it off as hardcore industrial noise terrorism, and then he'll unwittingly call it a day." Nice try, fellas! Due to your shameful bout of neglectful abuse viciously directed towards me, I'm gonna now sell my useless soul, become a psycho-rhetoric-espousin' hippie coke addict, and pompously pen artsy pseudo-intellectual pilf for Rolling Stone magazine. HaHaHa, how do ya like them cans of fuzzy lil' peaches?! Just kiddin', hombres! Seriously though, I still desperately need a Hellacopters fix someway, somehow, and sometime soon (and, hot damn, The Flaming Sideburns have a maddaddy killer-cool moniker; I'd sure like to be able to give them an attentive brew-drenched listen sometime in the very near future, as well). Anyway, if I were able to judge this badly abused disc just by its cover alone, I'd have to rate it as one helluva unruly rocker (the cover graphics are devilishly divine, indeed!)... –Guest Contributor (Bad Afro, House Of Rock)

HELLACOPTERS/FLAMING SIDEBURNS:
White Trash Soul: CDEP
A couple o’ trashy rock bands take a stab at soul music. The Hellacopters weigh in with two apt Motown covers and a Flaming Sideburns cover, while the Flaming Sideburns offer two originals and a Hellacopters cover. The effort is not bad, but it seems to me that the Sideburns kinda eschew the whole soul thing and opt to do what they do, which ain’t too bad. –Jimmy Alvarado (Bad Afro)

HELLBENDERS/SAFETY PINS:
Split: CD
Hellbenders: Punk fueled rock’n’roll that struts its stuff at a nice clip. Safety Pins: More of the same, only with gruffer vocals and a Spanish accent. Good listenin’. –Jimmy Alvarado (Dead Beat)

HELLBILLIES:
Blood Trilogy Vol. 1: CD
Tight as hell punk rock with strong psychobilly leanings and a fascination with horror business. Included are great covers of the Voidoids’ "Blank Generation" and Samhain’s "All Murder . . ." –Jimmy Alvarado (FOAD, 4430 Telegraph Ave., PMB 72, Oakland, CA 94609)

HELLBILLY BOYS:
Self-titled: CD
This Swedish rockabilly band deftly executes and interprets a wide range of American roots musical styles with the expected perfectionist European polish. Amicable, approachable, and fun like the Frantic Flintstones and Three Blue Teardrops. Notably excellent enunciation. –Jessica Thiringer (Killer Cobra, highgearmusic.se)

HELLBILLYS:
Torture Garden: CD
A reissue of one of my earliest and favorite psychobilly memories, 1995’s Torture Garden is just as good as I remember it. Rumbling, thundering, gory goodies that feel like a neck being crisply snapped from behind. A good, strong thrust of timeless classics like “Bondage A Go Go,” “Bucket ‘O Blood,” “Useless Man,” “Nitro Ghouls,” and Elvis’ “GI Blues.” Originally on Ransom Note. –Jessica Thiringer (Nickel and Dime: www.nickelanddimerecords.com)

HELLBILLYS:
Blood Trilogy Vol. II: CD
The first thing I thought when the music came out of my speakers was a psychobilly version of H2O. Disagree? Tough. That is my opinion and you can call me a loser until the day I die. Psychobilly is so hit and miss, but this one will be a keeper. The songs have a stronger punk edge than the more traditional stuff that is common on the scene today. Faster is the key here and they sound like they go all out, not like the last Tiger Army release that made me drink more caffeine to stay awake. To go with all that, you get a Pushead cover, too! –Donofthedead (Split Seven)

HELLBLOCK 6:
Burnin’ Doom: CD
Dude, drawings of severed fingers are cool. Satan rocks. How come your singer doesn’t squeal like he got a nut ripped from his body by a demonic rottweiller, like King Diamond does? That’s, like, a total bummer, man. –Jimmy Alvarado (World Eater)

HELLBOUND GLORY:
Scumbag Country: CD
This outfit from Reno plays traditional roots rock/outlaw country so pure and classic, they have timeless appeal. Vocals with a deep, honest, booze-soaked timbre channel George Jones, Steve Earle, and Merle Haggard. The richly talented, broad-spectrum band rivals anyone from Bakersfield, Austin, or Nashville. Despite the last track’s title, I do think Waylon done it that way. –Jessica Thiringer (Gearhead)

HELLBOUND HAYRIDE:
Who Shot the Hole in My Sombrero? Live: CD
This is rockabilly with a surf guitar, but not quite surfabilly. And there’s a whole lot of sleaze, but it’s not sleazabilly. Damn, now I’m confused. Pretty much they’ve got the pretty standard badom bom bom bom sound with some sleazy/gravely vocals. Repeat for each song. They don’t mix it up. There isn’t the sweetness in the vocals to make it all balance out. It just doesn’t work for me. I guess this girl just needs some honey to go with her gravel. –Megan Pants (Split Seven)

HELLHAAK:
Self-titled: CD-R
Punk metal mix that is fairly entertaining. But all the vocals are in German. There is a U.S. translation in the booklet. But trying to follow along felt too much like homework. I got a brain freeze and gave up. Nice effort guys, but if The Scorpions learned to sing in English, maybe you should give it some thought. –Sean Koepenick (Self-released)

HELLHOLE:
Uppers / Downers: 7”
My apologies gents, but you drew the short stick with me here. I’ll admit that this is competently played and for those more into the style than I, this might be passable. Fans of by-the-numbers monkey beat hardcore with a capital HARD (think ‘80s, New York and pissed) will be pleased with the a-side. Dudes into the extended dirges will be stoked with the b-side. I will say that I like that this is on Don Giovanni because I would not have expected this from them after some of the other records they’ve put out. –Steveo (Don Giovanni)

HELLHOLE:
Self-titled: EP
Whoa!! This is a great record! Hellhole cranks out some mid to fast hardcore that has a lot of low end and hits hard. I like how the bass sounds on “Under Control.” It has this menacing sound with a pace to match. The song erupts into a slightly faster tempo but the presence of that bass remains. They maintain their power by never going full tilt thrash. Instead, they write songs that are memorable, structured solidly, and with breakdowns and time changes to keep things moving. The vocalist has a bellow that allows the words to come through loud and clear, which also allows for the tone of the song to come through, instead of the usual straight screaming we get too often these days. Great dual guitar sound on here as well. Solid record the whole way through. This band could very well be a force to reckon with as of right now. Clear vinyl, if that’s your thing. –Matt Average (Off The Books)

HELLIONS, THE:
Self-titled: CD
These are the bastard demon-spawned purgatorial offspring of Lemmy and Motorhead... sinful, wicked, and belligerently bad-to-the-bone... ugly, mean, nasty, and evilly vile! The Hellions crudely crank-out a skull-fracturing assault of insanely souped-up audial madness that's thunderously louder than a corpse-strewn apocalyptic battlefield and just as confrontationally fierce! With balls-out bad-ass brutality, they ferociously roar through such sonically volatile stormings as "Think for Me," "Death Row Romeo," "Case of the Bads" ("Hot rod rebel/ I'm a real tough man... I'm going to hell as fast as I can!"), "Teen Rage," "Blacked Out," "What's Yer Poison," and "Switchblade Rock'n'Roll" (my personal fist-thrustin' favorite!). Satan better beware; these mayhemic musical miscreants are gonna knock him cross-eyed and silly right off his flame-broiled throne as they rabidly conquer Hell and beyond with their 100% blend of killer kick-ass rock'n'roll rambunctiousness. Fuck yeah, The Hellions whipped my ears into a frantic frenzy of brain-bustin' bewilderment, and I now have serious doubts as to whether I'll ever return to a non-convulsive state of semi-coherent normalcy. Oh well, who cares?! Long live The Hellions! –Guest Contributor (Hello Records)

HELLMOUTH:
Demo `08: CD
The first thing that comes to mind when I started listening to this was that the band sounds like eighty percent Sick Of It All, ten percent Blast, and ten percent Pantera. I could see this band doing very well in the hardcore scene. The music, I would say, fits well in that genre. For a demo, this easily could have been released as a legit release. The production is top notch and evenly mixed. Everything is where it needs to be. I was surprised that the former singer of the Suicide Machines could belt it out like he does here. I’m curious to see what comes out after this. If their demo sounds this good, I can only imagine what their debut might sound like. –Donofthedead (www.myspace.com/666hellmouth)

HELLNATION:
Dynamite up Your Ass: CD

Another twenty-one tracks of über-thrash to provide your head with the equivalent of pouring Liquid Draino into your ear and shaking briskly. Some wild shit not for the faint of heart.

–Jimmy Alvarado (Sound Pollution)

HELLNATION:
Cheerleaders for Imperialism: CD
Hyper-speed blur-core with screaming fetus vocals. In all, you get 29 songs in 17 ½ minutes. Now that’s what I call more bang for your buck. –Jimmy Alvarado (Slap A Ham)

HELLO SHITTY PEOPLE:
Self-titled: LP
Here we have a band from Chattanooga circa 2000. And, that’s pretty much what it sounds like. Dudes who spend their weekends getting hammered and rocking out to Jack Palance Band, ADD/C, and the whatever miscreants straggled up from Gainesville. It’s fun enough to listen to, but I’m just not convinced it needed to be released almost a decade after the fact. –Daryl Gussin (1234 Go!)

HELLRATZ, THE:
Rattengift: CD
Super fast street/crust punk from Germany. Pretty darn good for sixteen-year-olds. It’ll be interesting to see what these kids accomplish from this point on. –Mr. Z (Razorblade)

HELLRIDE:
Troublemaker: CD
Scandinavian heavy metal with a punk edge. Now there’s something original. –Jimmy Alvarado (Scooch Pooch)

HELLS, THE:
: CDEP
Woo, here’s some sexy two-piece rock’n’roll. Sexier than the White Stripes, even. Sounds like the Stooges run through Boss Hog with a little Blue Cheer on top. The man sings one song (and sounds like the guy from Mudhoney), but the lady sings the other five (there’s a drummer, too, but I can’t tell if he’s a proper Hell) in a strong, sweet, accented (they’re from the UK, but she sounds Scandinavian to me) voice that drips charm and authority. I expect if they can get themselves in American clubs and a full-length in our stores, they should do pretty dang well in today’s climate. –Cuss Baxter (Artrocker)

HELLSHOCK:
Warlord: 7"
Interesting how everything evolves in life. The ones who take elements from the past and try to create something of their own are the ones that are memorable. Take this band. From what I hear, they’re taking cues from Discharge, Amebix, Anti Sect, and Severed Head of State. Now that is off the tip of my tongue off the first listen. I’m sure others will have more bands to use as reference. I’ve heard the name of this band thrown around for a couple of years, but it’s hard to buy everything that everybody puts out. But a friend of mine said that this band has improved when he went out on tour with Selfish and Hellshock. I put the band on the shopping list. Fortunately, the cards were drawn in my favor and I had one for review. The format of the 7” is a good one because it gives the listener a taste to see if it is a flavor one might like. Also, it forces a band to bring out their best material at the moment. No filler. Right from the start, you can tell that the band has members who have been playing for awhile. Instead of the standard jump-right-into-the-chords deal, they play an almost rock opera interlude that is multi-layered and could be a song all its own. I really like the intro parts of their songs. I like the build up of the song and it adds a dark texture to the music. I like the creativity of playing slow first and building it up to pummel. The band does play a brand of crust, dis-core that is enhanced by the intro, but the metal edge with the guitar harmonies and the generous use of guitar solos takes the standard bar chord to another level. The songs are short and to the point. It’s not overdrawn and makes you get up to put the needle back on the record because you want to hear more. Judging from this two-track 7”, this band has the potential to leave a large mark in punk history. I can see their popularity reaching that of Tragedy or Disclose. –Donofthedead (Profane Existence)

HELLSHOCK:
Shadows of the Afterworld: CD
Heavy, angry crust. Sometimes sludgey, sometimes fast, quite often metally, and always heavy. To top it off, the singer sounds like he’s singing from somewhere within Dante’s seventh circle of hell. With songs like “Welcome to the Void,” “To Hell,” and “Night Terrors,” this band definitely has a lot on its mind and it’s probably not just girls. These guys are making Tragedy proud. –Adrian (Crimes Against Humanity)

HELLSTOMPER:
Haulin’ Ass: CD
I have heard a little music from this band before. They are another great countrified rock band, one of the better ones. I think this is supposed to be a greatest hits just based on the cover, however, if you read the back, it appears that these are mostly cover songs – eighteen songs with five giving credit to the band. They cover some really good songs by some great artists like MC5, Motorhead, Chuck Berry, and The Allman Brothers. Hellstomper does these songs justice and more. Now, I’m not too familiar with this band so I’m not sure why there are so many cover songs on a greatest hits CD unless this is always what they do on their CDs. Pardon my ignorance. Nonetheless, it’s a good CD that has kept me stompin’ my feet through many listenings and will continue to do so. –Toby Tober (Steel Cage)

HELLSTOMPER:
Are You from Dixie?: CD
From the title of this release to songs like "Pabst Blue Ribbon," "Old Rattler" and "Son of the South," you should know what to expect. You get some hillbilly rock and punk. Reminded me of Antiseen playing a hoe down with some really cheap whiskey. This could be a discography of sorts since this is made up of songs previously released on three different albums. I'm not feeling it. –Donofthedead (D-Fens)

HELLSTOMPER:
Fine… Forget It (1994-2004): CD
It’s southern rock that decided, fine, forget it, we suck. Their songs are about touring, alcohol, and being bad good ol’ boys. The rock’n’roll riffs and the country boy redneck style of vocals give meaning to NASCAR races: it just keeps going on and on and it doesn’t change. It’s Joe Dirt meets Puddle of Mudd. Dig a hole and bury it. –Guest Contributor (Steel Cage)

HELLSTOMPER:
The Real Hillbilly Motherfucker: CD
Dixie-fried rock/punk centered on cock fightin’, whiskey drinkin’, barroom fightin’ and, of course, drinkin’. Can’t say these guys were the best thing I’ve heard all week or anything, but they did have their merits, primarily the fact that they aren’t above not taking themselves too seriously. –Jimmy Alvarado (Steel Cage)

HELLSTOMPER:
Are You from Dixie?: CD
From the title of this release to songs like “Pabst Blue Ribbon,” “Old Rattler” and “Son of the South,” you should know what to expect. You get some hillbilly rock and punk. Reminded me of Antiseen playing a hoe down with some really cheap whiskey. This could be a discography of sorts since this is made up of songs previously released on three different albums. I’m not feeling it. –Donofthedead (D-Fens)

HELPER MONKEYS, THE:
No Release: CD
Too much melody to be hardcore, and too hard to be power pop, Helper Monkeys offer up a tasty chunk of popcore. The thrashing guitars scream, the drums pound straight into your brain, and the singer is delightfully obnoxious. The songs are intelligent without being pretentious, and the playing is just the right blend of fun and power. I like it. –Guest Contributor (Onionskin)

HELPER MONKEYS, THE:
Self-titled: CD
Had high hopes for this, and they do deliver in some sectors: catchy hooks and tight musicianship. Ultimately, though, the triple threat it attempts fails to push itself over the top. The post-Ramones veneer and the reliance on the same old rock trappings did it in. –Jimmy Alvarado (Green Door)

HEMI CUDA:
Classics for Lovers: CD-R
It starts off nicely with the lead track, then gets a flat and pulls off to the side. The bad news for Hemi Cuda is that there are quite a few female-fronted pop punk bands who blow them off the track, no matter how many different color wigs they have in the closet. Neither of these ladies have the loud, blaring pipes of Chica Baby of the Beautys or Cinder of Tilt, the instrumental dexterity of the Eyeliners live, or the sealed four-play-as-one-power of the Soviettes. Although they far from suck, they get stuck in bar rock mode for vast stretches, where the riffs get more tired than Jerry Lewis walking up a set of stairs. Sorry, shin-high leopard print boots and boss cars don't pull it through for me. –Todd Taylor (no address)

HEMI CUDA:
Classics for Lovers: CD
Surprise! I love it when my intuition is wrong. I thought this was going to suck hard! I hesitantly put the disc into the player, ready to dismiss it. Pouring out of the speakers was a blast of raw punk’n’roll mixed with a strong flavor of pop melody. Kinda sweet and dirty at the same time. Songs that barely cross over the three minute mark keep things interesting. They would probably be a band that is great in a live setting. Great songs that have them sounding like a cross between early Redd Kross and The Waitresses or Josie Cotton. Looking at the insert, I see pictures of the band. Out front are two women with matching outfits and wigs playing guitar and bass and trading off on the vocal duties. I read that the drummer is male, but no pictures are to be found. I guess the label didn’t think he was marketable for his sex appeal. –Donofthedead (Pop Sweatshop)

HEMI CUDA:
Classics for Lovers: CD-R
It starts off nicely with the lead track, then gets a flat and pulls off to the side. The bad news for Hemi Cuda is that there are quite a few female-fronted pop punk bands who blow them off the track, no matter how many different color wigs they have in the closet. Neither of these ladies have the loud, blaring pipes of Chica Baby of the Beautys or Cinder of Tilt, the instrumental dexterity of the Eyeliners live, or the sealed four-play-as-one-power of the Soviettes. Although they far from suck, they get stuck in bar rock mode for vast stretches, where the riffs get more tired than Jerry Lewis walking up a set of stairs. Sorry, shin-high leopard print boots and boss cars don’t pull it through for me. –Todd Taylor (No address)

HENCHMEN, THE:
Three Times Infinity: CD
The Henchmen have all the usual garage band accruements, but more often than not come off sounding like a slightly amped version of Camper Van Beethoven. Maybe it’s the smart ass lyrics or the lead singer’s delivery. To their credit, they don’t attempt to simply recreate that wonderful ‘60s garage sound. But their everything-but-the-kitchen-sink album, Three Times Infinity, sometimes suffers from a lack of focus. –Eric Rife (Norton)

HENCHMEN, THE:
Lust for Glory: CD
Raw, rude Stooge punk circa ‘82-‘84 from this New Zealand band. So far as I can tell, the tracks are culled from assorted demos and a live show. If you like your punk rock primal and nasty, this is a definite keeper –Jimmy Alvarado (Raw Power)

HENPECKER:
(Band): CD
These Arcata rapscallions mask some smart-aleck social commentary with bar rock tinged tunes. While it ain’t “punk” in the stereotypical mohawk-mania sense, songs like “Chicken Hawk” are considerably more biting and astute than anything SUM-41, Bowling For Soup, or even the Virus have said their entire careers combined. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.henpecker.com)

HENRY FIAT’S OPEN SORE:
Idiotia Hyperactiva: CD
The cover is four guys in suits with Mummies-esque masks, one with a whip. My first thought? Lame. Then I found out they were from Sweden and my opinion changed. Why? Hell if I know. I don’t have some sort of Swedish music fetish. It was just okay for Swedes to have masks. This album was recorded in ’98, but we get it in the states now courtesy of Cold Front’s Sin City Series. They’re full of energy, heavily guitar driven, and are catchy without being poppy or anthemic. It just has that balls-out rock that gets me goin’ every time. I hear some early Dwarves and Turbonegro influences in there. I don’t know what they’re saying half of the time, but I sing right along anyway. This is some damn good listening right here. –Megan Pants (Coldfront)

HENRY FIAT’S OPEN SORE:
The Parallel Universe of...: CD
There’s something wonderfully intrusive about HFOS. Most bands that pretend to be dangerous just don’t have that intangible it. These guys do. Whenever I try to describe them I almost always – no, wait, always – wind up painting a picture similar to that of a toppled over short bus spilling out with whooping hebephrenics wearing their underpants on their heads and running naked into a Lutheran pot-luck picnic and smearing themselves with potato salad and defecating on bibles, etc, etc. Good, sturdy, dangerous fun. And the amazing thing is that this lovable quality comes across on record. Overall, Parallel Universe has a slightly less sociopathic Ramones-ish flavor to it than the full-on criminal lunacy of Idiotia Hyperactiva or Adulterer-Oriented Rock, but the unusually bent teeth of genuine twistedness are still sticking out of the mangy gums of this thing and even at low volume they still will chomp a Gary Coleman-sized divot out of your Lutheran ass. –Aphid Peewit (Coldfront)

HENRY FIAT’S OPEN SORE:
Mondo Blotto: LP
This new release is still spastic and all over the place, yet Henry Fiat’s Open Sore seem to have developed their weirdness to a degree that can only be measured in comparison to bands like Devo or Turbonegro. At times, this record definitely reminds me of both bands, and only until I realized that did I even consider how hard of a thing that must be to pull off. From the second track, “The Knuckledraggin Neanderthal in Me,” which has a Loverboy being covered by Devo, being covered by HFOS feel to it. All the way to the ending spoken word part of the last track “Mondo Blotto,” which cannot play without escaping Apocalypse Dudes comparisons, does this album dance around, throwing drunken slugs and bear hugs of European sensibility dosed with party-hard strength and a look no ways before you cross the road rock’n’roll vengeance. –Daryl Gussin (Alien Snatch)

HENRY FIAT’S OPEN SORE:
The Parallel Universe of…: LP
Oh, the glory of the vinyl medium lends itself well to the HFOS mania. There’s something comforting and eerie about these guys. It’s like visiting older musical neighborhoods – like those inhabited by the old Dwarves and the well-missed Mummies – but HFOS are the newest, more demented kids playing in the rubble of the long-ago destroyed landscape. Nothing should grow there. Everything should rot and decay and give up and die. But from the ashes and poisonous rainwater sprout four black-bandaged Swedes with radioactive fluids coursing through their veins. Grayed wickedness in their softened brains. Viruses and plagues and their fingertips and in their throats. The antidote to any “Employee of the Week,” a rabid, mistreated Dachshund to the balls of all the bands too busy stretching for the brass ring to notice before teeth are clamped on tight. It’s downright a comfort to hear such fight, fuck, fight, fuck me, fuck you, fuck us all on record. Do the math of twenty-five songs on an LP and you know they don’t dick around. Yep, recommended. –Todd Taylor (Raw Deluxe)

HENRY FIAT’S OPEN SORE:
Patmos or Bust: 7"
I was really surprised when this came in the mail. See, I’d written to Wrench, trying to get a review copy. Instead, I got a pretty cold email saying that they DID NOT put out this EP. I shrugged my shoulders, scratched my head, and just assumed that I must have read something wrong somewhere along the line. Then it came in. I looked at the label. I got pissed. I put it on. I got happy. Man, HFOS are so damn good! I was lucky enough to pick up their full-length, Idiotia Hyperactiva, on the recommendation of Mr. Aphid Peewit. They’re kind of a newer version of the Mummies, with tight black ski masks in place of wrappings. I also hear Dwarves and the Weirdos in there, just great stuff. Four songs make for a pretty beefy 7”, but still leaves me wanting more. –Megan Pants (Wrench)

HENRY FIAT’S OPEN SORE:
Patmos or Bust: 7"
I think I had given up on ever finding a band that had everything I ever wanted in a punk band all rolled up together in one nice, messy, demented little package. And then I stumbled on Sweden's Henry Fiat's Open Sore. Fast, ridiculous, sloppy, sick, and funny as all fuck; kind of like a Blood, Guts, and Pussy-era Dwarves if the Dwarves took all the drugs they've ever ingested, but all in one night – and then they wrapped their heads up in diapers. As HFOS 7 inchers go, I wouldn't put Patmos or Bust up there with psycho scorchers like Headshots or Makes Your Cock Big, but it's a worthy addition to the Sores' library of hebephrenic punk. –Aphid Peewit (Wrench)

HENRY FIAT’S OPEN SORE:
Idiota Hyperactiva: CD
The cover is four guys in suits with Mummies-esque masks, one with a whip. My first thought? Lame. Then I found out they were from Sweden and my opinion changed. Why? Hell if I know. I don’t have some sort of Swedish music fetish. It was just okay for Swedes to have masks. This album was recorded in ’98, but we get it in the states now courtesy of Cold Front’s Sin City Series. They’re full of energy, heavily guitar driven, and are catchy without being poppy or anthemic. It just has that balls-out rock that gets me goin’ every time. I hear some early Dwarves and Turbonegro influences in there. I don’t know what they’re saying half of the time, but I sing right along anyway. This is some damn good listening right here.
–Megan Pants (Cold Front)

HENRY FIAT’S OPEN SORE:
Adulterer Oriented Rock: CD
Unzip the half of your brain that thinks. Huck it out the window. Use the other half and occupy it with rough monkey sex, crayons shoved too far up your nose, bleeding fingers guitar, a slutty love of the Mummies, the Motards, and the Dwarves, the smell of cars burning out, all sliding up the shaky knees of your daiquiri-drunk date. Perfect, no-thinking, funny/blunt (as in "England, That's a Place to Hate," and "Brit Pop Sucks"), bloodshot Swedish garage fest that slows down when they die. Awesome. Think angry dogs, bullwhips, and a dude that carries a mannequin head for self-service, I presume. As subtle as a fist fuck. What's not to love? This is a forty-seven song collection of their singles.
–Todd Taylor (Coldfront)

HENRY FIAT’S OPEN SORE:
Makes Your Cock Big: 7"
Rip-roarin’ rock’n’roll riffage slopped on top of a harried hardcore holocaust. Slap this puppy on the turntable and I guarantee that even the most sedate party will turn into a frenzied, violent bloodbath. Yeah, I recommend this fucker. –Jimmy Alvarado (Rock’n’Roll Blitzkrieg)

HENRY FIAT’S OPEN SORE:
I Was a Teenage Pretty Boy: 7”
What in god’s name has come over me? I get a new HFOS recording and I start to pant and squirm and quake like a pubescent girl front row at a Justin Timberlame concert. I can feel my journalistic dignity wriggling down my legs and flying away from me like a pair of love-soaked underpants sailing stage-ward. I gotta get a grip on myself. But hot damn – these demento-shaman satan grooves have real honest-to-goodness demon blood pouring out of them and splattering everything in sight with a happy dangerous idiocy. Woof. Step right up and get yours. This here HFOS band blasts you in the face like a baseball bat covered with snot. And you will ask for more. –Aphid Peewit (Ken Rock)

HER CANDANE:
Could Be Nothing to Some: CD
Boo hoo. Hail Satan. Boo hoo. Where’s my Bathory lunchpail and official Pantera backpack? –Jimmy Alvarado (Sound vs. Silence)

HER NEXT FRIEND:
Disaster Casual: CD
Fairly uninteresting indie rock stuff with what sounds like an uninterested singer. –Jimmy Alvarado (Autopoison)

HERE COMES A BIG BLACK CLOUD:
Pompeii: LP
The record opens with a bunch of strange sounds, screeches, and then an ominous organ cuts in, making way for some dirty, bizarre, garage rock that sounds as if it was recorded in a subterranean recording studio. Scratch that… a subterranean recording studio that has been set on fire. The cover art features what appears to be satanic Teletubby—and the liner notes seem to be written by either a very hateful fan or, possibly, a jaded member of the band. This genre usually isn’t even my thing, but I was honestly blown away by this weird slab of plastic. –Evan Katz (Recorded)

HERE COMES A BIG BLACK CLOUD:
Party Vietnam: 10”
Lo-fi trashy frat rock with junk yard drums and vocals that sound like they were sung into a coffee can with a string. The real winner is the organist who keeps this monster mash going with upbeat and peppy keys that playfully evoke spooky sounds. For fans of Nobunny and other assorted desert fried rock and roll abnormalities. –Jeff Proctor (Hovercraft)

HERE COMES A BIG BLACK CLOUD!!:
“Black Mold” b/w “Psychic Violence”: 7”
Chaotic, skittering, in-the-red, energetic and organ-infested: I wouldn’t call it a mess because it sounds like they know what they’re doing. Also straddles the new and the old, so a mix between the Mummies (the garage elements) and The Peppermints (really worked-up zombies on LSD) wouldn’t be too far a field. Comes with 3D glasses, but the seahorse on the cover doesn’t pop out at me as much as I hoped it would. –Todd Taylor (Stankhouse, myspace.com/stankhouserecords)

HERE COMES A BIG BLACK CLOUD!!:
Party Vietnam: 10"
I picked up this record because I thought the title “Party Vietnam” was hilariously dickish. The jokey title didn’t prepare me for the genuinely weird sounds that came off this clear 10”: A mix of ultra-fuzzy garage rock with punk tendrils, spooky Halloween organs, and, to further confuse you, a cover of a Bo Diddley song with an original arrangement. The vocals are gritty as hell, but fitting. I’d truly like to see this band live. I bet it be a unique experience. Only change I’d advise: lose the long-ass name. –Samantha Beerhouse (Hovercraft/Stankhouse)

HERE KITTY KITTY:
Daddy’s Girl: CD
Let’s pull out some names from history’s past. I hear some Ramones, Sleater Kinney, Ramones, Queers and that old school death rock band, Voodoo Church. Simple, power chord-driven melodies that only back up the magical experience of the band. They assault you with a three female vocal attack that makes the music sweet and infectious. The production has a very live feeling to it. That leads to a more intimate listening experience. I’m not sure if this is their debut, but it was a nice preview for me. The opening track, “How Now” is a great track and the funny cover of Lita Ford’s “Kiss Me Deadly” is a perfect!
–Donofthedead (Lorelei)

HERESI:
Psalm II: CD
From what I’ve been able to determine, this is the work of one person, kinda like how Bathory used to work back in the late ‘80s. While I ain’t exactly big on the whole black metal thing (although I will admit getting a good laugh out of a buncha people running around worshipping Satan or Odin and trying to be e-vile and shit), this wasn’t all that terrible. There’s little in the way of subtlety, the songs are way too fucking long to hold the attention of this old hardcore kid (I easily could fit fifteen songs in the space of one of the tracks here!) and the incessant, pummeling beats get kinda boring by track two, but the execution of the songs was good and the overblown grandiosity inherent in the genre fit here quite nicely. Of course, you can’t understand word one lyrics-wise, but on the whole I’ve heard much worse. –Jimmy Alvarado (Hydra Head)

HERESIA/GRITOS DE ALERTA:
Split: 7"
I don’t know if most people are ready for something like this. You get in a rut and you don’t buy new music for a while. A comfort zone has incased you and you are not ready to burst out of your familiar bubble. I go there sometimes. Some CDs haven’t left the CD changer in my car for over a year. But the great thing about hearing new music is the spontaneity of feeling your blood rush. You lose track of time and space. Feel like someone is going ape shit for you when you can’t yourself. I popped this on the turntable and was totally floored by what was coming out of my speakers. If you don’t like fast punk, go away! Here are the facts of this release that I received from the guy who released this. This was originally released in Brazil. The singer of Gritos De Alerta runs the label Terrotten that initially half released this with the label Usina de Sangue. I was told a member of Heresia also plays in the band Sick Terror. This US pressing is limited to 500 and on grey splattered vinyl. Heresia: Serious D-beat meets Sweden damage here that is so fucking heavy, I barely could breath from the weight. Sounds like the rumble you hear before an earthquake shakes your house and belongings. It’s a sound that, if done right, can be so powerful even though it has been replicated. Gritos De Alerta: Fast, blasting punk rock that ventures into crust territory. It’s got Energizer bunny drumming with a guitar that sounds like it’s hooked up to a boombox and not an amp. If you like the screamo vocals, that’s what you get here. To sum it up, I preferred the Heresia side, but was not displeased with the Gritos De Alerta side. –Donofthedead (Ponk-111)

HERESY:
Face Up to It!: CD
Here is one record that has eluded me for years. I passed on it a few times during it’s initial release. I vowed to come back and purchase it at a later time. But that time never came and I never saw another copy again. Ten plus years later, I have bid on a number of copies on the evil Ebay and have been outbid by collectors that have money to burn. Last year, the reissue label Speedstate out of Japan released the second part of the Heresy trilogy and quickly sold out. A re-press was announced but never seemed to see daylight again. But the great folks at Boss Tuneage have come to my rescue! As soon as I heard that BT was releasing it, I sent an email into Razorcake HQ to see if I could have dibs if a copy came in since the label consistently sent in review material. Luck would have it that a copy had come in and was already assigned to me for review. Yes! Why do I care? Well, I was a partial fan. I bought a copy of the Never Healed flexi and the split LP with Concrete Sox. I enjoyed their track on Earache’s Grindcrusher comp. But my favorite was Face Up to It that was on the Manic Ears, The North Atlantic Noise Attack comp 2xLP. I wanted to hear more from that recording session. Now I get to. As I suspected, the songs are pure blasts of thrash with hints of crossover due to it being of the late ‘80s time period. Having a major roll in the formation of such genres as grindcore and power violence, they were one of the speed kings. I have heard stories of Napalm Death and Heresy in their early days having battles at shows to see who can drum the fastest. In this recording session that has been remastered, you can hear that they were influenced by American bands like Siege and DRI. Their change in sound was less Discharge and more like the latter mentioned bands. Like Holland’s BGK, they sounded very American. But that was not a bad thing. Hearing these songs for the first time, with the exception of the title track, gets me charged up with the manic and rapid speed drumming and the aural blur of the guitars. I can’t wait for volume 3 of this discography series. Reading the liner notes, those recordings are the ones they are the most pleased with. If I like this, I know that one is going to make me into one happy music nerd. –Donofthedead (Boss Tuneage)

HERESY:
1985-’87: CD
This was originally released by Speedstate Records out of Japan in 2004. I thought it was still in print, but I could be wrong since Boss Tuneage licensed it. Since I’m a nerd, I thought I would describe some of the differences of each release. The cover artwork on the current release has been reduced a bit and the photos are a hair darker, but the song titles are larger. There is no Japanese title on the title edge of the digipack. The photos in the booklet seem to be darker too. The current release has extra photos not included in the Japanese pressing because they took out the Japanese translations of the lyrics. From there on, it’s all the same except the matrix number. Oh yeah, no obi. There are supposed to be three volumes and this is the first. This release includes the first demo, Never Healed flexi, two live tracks, and the Thanks! 7”. During the time of crossover, in the U.K. there was a growing faction of bands that were playing faster than what was considered fast at the time. This band and, say, Napalm Death were trying to break speed records. They heavily influenced the power violence genre of the ‘90s. Good to see that this release is still above water and available so people can discover this seminal band. –Donofthedead (Boss Tuneage)

HERO CYCLE, THE:
Lakes and Ponds: CDEP
This EP from Vermont’s The Hero Cycle serves up five tracks of subdued yet energetic indie rock. The vocals are shared between two members; the female half’s voice has a chanty, ethereal quality. Their big, layered sound sweeps you in, and the songs manage to feel driving and chaotic without breaking a sweat. I feel the Built to Spill influences here. –Sarah Shay –Guest Contributor (Hidden Shoal)

HERO DISHONEST:
When the Shit Hits the Man: CD
Totally raging fast hardcore punk from this Finnish band. Any fan of Dead Nation, Tear It Up, Deadstop, or D.S.-13 is going to want to be all over this. Actually, the more I listen to this, it really reminds me of that great second Paint It Black record. Doesn’t get much better than this for hardcore. –Mike Frame (Acme)

HEROES & VILLIANS:
Play Themes from the Dark Pink Circus: CD
I think they shortened their name from The Heroes and Villains Chain. –Cuss Baxter (X!)

HEROINE SHEIKS:
Out of Aferica: CD
A bit of a shock for me ‘cause there’s a touch more “rock” in their sound here than there was on their debut, Rape on the Installment Plan, which was the last o’ their releases I heard. I gotta say, though, that they are very careful in their usage of said “rock” to compliment a sound that remains as addled and deranged as they, or Shannon’s earlier band The Cows, have ever produced. The song dynamics are a lot more across the map, meaning things are considerably more varied than a constant pummeling, although one listen to “Cock Asia” will demonstrate they can still whoop ass with ease. Good, good stuff. Oh, and yeah, there’s some buglin’ on here. –Jimmy Alvarado (Reptilian)

HEROINE SHEIKS:
Siamese Pipe: CD
If you knew and loved the Cows (and if you could know and not love them, you’ve got some kinda aberration up in your skull), the Sheiks are like a cold forty after eight weeks on the wagon. The Cows were my favorite band for longer than any other band ever held that title; they were the perfect thing to find and grab with both fists when hardcore started to lose its sheen for me, and I’ll suggest the same of the Heroine Sheiks: plenty of noise, a little velocity, and shovels full of retardation, assembled in a tricky and masterful way that nobody else can touch and that will take any comer. Norman Westberg’s guitar is refined, often minimal and everywhere it needs to be, but Shannon’s lyrics and delivery are the real edge on the blade: “went in the back room with my Coors Light” becomes in a later verse “went in the bathroom and clogged the pipe.” In “Little Schoolgirl” he croons “I don’t want to hurt your feelings/ I just want to lay down on top of you” (did Sonny Boy Williamson write it that way?). And if he isn’t spitting some poetic gem, he’s whistling or hooting or blowing his venerable trumpet. If you think your musical diet is lacking something, it’s probably this. –Cuss Baxter (Rubric)

HEROINE SHEIKS, THE:
Rape on the Installment Plan: CD
This is spine-tingling audial insanity... nefarious, noisy, and abnormally erratic... Butthole Surfers-style noise terrorism... an electroshock-induced sonic nervous breakdown. It's cacophonously comparable to thick coats of fluorescent candlewax melting in the mind and oozing snail-like out of the ears like serpentine streaks of alien-monster penis goop. After just one harrowing listen to this ear-plundering platter of twisted psychotic sounds, I feel as if I've been beaten within an inch of my life, violently lobotomized, and then left, bloodied and bruised, for a circling flock of flesh-starved vultures... indeed, beware the brain-rattling musical bewilderment that The Heroine Sheiks will hellishly heap upon you! –Guest Contributor (Reptilian)

HEROINE SHEIKS, THE:
Rape on the Installment Plan: CD
This is Shannon of the Cows’ latest musical endeavor, and it don’t sound all that different from the Cows, which is a pretty good thing if you happen to be a fan of that now-defunct band. The group itself is a sort of super group, featuring members of Ultra Bide, the Swans and Foetus, and they easily provide their charismatic front man with enough solid, noisy grooves to make the whole thing one hell of a listen. Oh, and yes, he did bring his bugle along for the ride. –Jimmy Alvarado (Reptilian)

HEROINES, THE:
Hurts So Good: CD
A few things came to mind when I popped this in the player. A band I reviewed a few issues ago, Bang! Bang!, the second Soviettes record, and a non-psychobilly version of the Horror Pops. A lot of pop punk energy with a dominating rock force in the songs. Like a touch of AC/DC to punch things up. This band from Germany has a good formula that catches this listener’s attention right off the bat. I could see this band’s popularity rise if they can continue and broaden their exposure. –Donofthedead (Wolverine)

HEROS & ZEROS:
Wake-Up Call: CD
Interesting band from Holland whose singer sounds like Degz from Oi Polloi backed by a German street punk band with horns. The songs are straightforward and come off basic in sound. The guitars, bass, and drums are bland. What catches my attention is the strong vocal delivery and the accenting of the songs with the horns. Otherwise, I would have pulled this off the player at the first song. –Donofthedead (Mad Butcher)

HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS & THE AMAZING PINK HOLES:
The South Shall Rise Again b/w Moonshine Mountain: CD-Single
Over the course of the years, i have finally come to accept the legitimacy of the hillbilly thing/thang as one of rock & roll's legitimate and most direct ancestors (therefore, by implication, one of punk rock's many great-grandparents as well), but, that said and Mr. Lewis' snappy Bob Eubanks' style voice notwithstanding (Herschell Gordon Lewis... Herschell Gordon Lewis... wasn't he that back Minnesota traded away all those draft picks to Dallas for in the '80s?), i find neither of these songs so charming that i would feel justified in proclaiming this disc a legitimate hum-dum-dinger from Dingersville. Assuming few of us here are legitimate connoisseurs of the genre, my recommendation is to keep your two-dollar bill in your pocket and point your Hot Rod Ford in an alternate direction. BEST SONG: "Moonshine Mountain" BEST SONG TITLE: I dunno, wasn't this the kind of question that Kirk used to blow up the androids in "I, Mudd?" FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Holy fuck, he DOES know Bob Sablack!!! –Rev. Norb (Smog Veil)

HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS & THE AMAZING PINK HOLES:
The South Shall Rise Again b/w Moonshine Mountain: CD-Single
Over the course of the years, i have finally come to accept the legitimacy of the hillbilly thing/thang as one of rock & roll’s legitimate and most direct ancestors (therefore, by implication, one of punk rock’s many great-grandparents as well), but, that said and Mr. Lewis’ snappy Bob Eubanks’ style voice notwithstanding (Herschell Gordon Lewis... Herschell Gordon Lewis... wasn’t he that back Minnesota traded away all those draft picks to Dallas for in the ‘80s?), i find neither of these songs so charming that i would feel justified in proclaiming this disc a legitimate hum-dum-dinger from Dingersville. Assuming few of us here are legitimate connoisseurs of the genre, my recommendation is to keep your two-dollar bill in your pocket and point your Hot Rod Ford™ in an alternate direction. BEST SONG: “Moonshine Mountain” BEST SONG TITLE: I dunno, wasn’t this the kind of question that Kirk used to blow up the androids in “I, Mudd?” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Holy fuck, he DOES know Bob Sablack!!! –Rev. Norb (Smog Veil)

HESUS ATTOR:
Sonic Gastronomy Volume 1: CD
I just can’t get my brain around this one. It’s like that shitty System Of A Down pseudo metal/hardcore thing with some operatic singing and weird synthesizers mixed in. Yeah, it’s as fucked up as it sounds. Not “Whoa dude, you gotta hear this. It’s fucked up!” but more like “That’s fucked up. Get it the hell out of my stereo!” –Ty Stranglehold (Moonlee)

HEX DISPENSERS:
Lose My Cool: 7”EP
How the Hex Dispensers are like Frankenstein’s monster: 1) Lightning from above. 2) Demon-like power. 3) Pissed, but rightfully so. 4) Stomping around right after their creation, looking for friends amongst unprejudiced innocents. Except, they do it in a musical village populated by the likes of The Marked Men and The Wipers (who they cover); it’s a pop-driven, power garage music world with kinship from The Brotherhood Of Electricity. How the Hex Dispensers are not like Frankenstein’s monster: 1) They actually have a name. 2) When they were created, their maker didn’t immediately flee and renounce his abomination. 3) The Hex Dispensers have both men and women in the band and Dr. Frankenstein ultimately reneged on his promise to make a lady monster for his dude monster, thus totally bumming his male monster out to the point where he eventually committed suicide above the Arctic Circle. Result: Hex Dispensers rock harder than a bad-ass, self-conflicted monster that could snap your neck with one hand. –Todd Taylor (Douchemaster)

HEX DISPENSERS:
“My Love Is a Bat” b/w “Cloak and Dagger Complication”: 7”
Although this description may sound like ass, I promise it’s not: The Marked Men meets the Mistfits. Drain any Glenn Danzig delusional weightlifting ego out of the jar, leaving only the beefy, dark melody jiggling around in the glass. Forefront the musical anxiety of the Marked Men—tightly wound guitars and voices that sound on the verge of a breakdown (that you’re more than willing to sing along to as they’re driving you off of a cliff)—and you’ve got the right mad scientist glasses on when looking at what makes the Hex Dispensers tick. Two more great songs from a band I haven’t heard one bad track from yet. One to keep an eye peeled for. This was a tour 7”. Five hundred made. –Todd Taylor (Alien Snatch)

HEX DISPENSERS:
Winchester Mystery House: CD
The Hex Dispensers are the magic bullet. What they pull off is so fraught with potential failure, that the fact that they are any better than passable is a cause for celebration. Let’s establish some early facts: the Hex Dispensers are great and they’ve made their best album yet. Let me explain some larger implications. Bands of Danzig ripper-off-er-ers are clowns. Here’s a fun thing to do. For every devil-locked spook who’s taking themselves a wee bit too seriously at their respective musical duties, I just imagine them with bright red noses, big-ass shoes, and oversized ties. For every skeleton-handed glove, I imagine bright pink polka dots. If you’re asking me to willingly suspend belief that the Misfits never existed and what you’re doing has one iota of a creative spark, I might as well have fun with it. But the Hex Dispensers, although they tread in the operatic darker lands of music’s psyche, they do it with an Edward Gorey precision and a Tales from the Crypt style of understanding of both blood spatters and the psychology of titillating terror. They’re both simultaneously paranoid and dance party of the apocalypse-sounding, filtered through the dark charcoal of years playing in small bars and backyards. The album ends with a kick-ass cover of Devo’s “Gates of Steel.” If you’re on a tight budget, and can only buy a couple of records this year, here’s one of my top recommendations. –Todd Taylor (Douchemaster)

HEX DISPENSERS, THE:
Self-Titled: CD
There aren’t many bands in the underground for whom I’d say “fuck it” and quit my job so that I could go on tour and roadie for them. The Hex Dispensers are one of those bands. Seeing and hearing these songs played every night for a month or two whilst throwing back beers, snorting up drugs, screaming “MEOW-MEOW-MEOW!!!” during “The Crone [99 Cats],” and loading gear into a van would certainly take years off the end of my life, but it would be absolutely worth it. These tunes are a dirty, menacing brand of dark-wave garage pop, the aural equivalent of Black Sunday and the Spits taking a bunch of speed and dancing a midnight, cemetery tango on the grave of the Riverdales. Assuming the Riverdales are dead, of course. Lyrically, the Hex Dispensers tackle popular and kick ass topics such as assassins, E.S.P., haunted TV stations, and witchcraft. The downright groovy “Arsenic Milkshake” concludes the CD with the fantastically sinister lines: “I’ll make an arsenic milkshake/Delicious to the end/I’ll make an arsenic milkshake/It’s sweetened with revenge.” Speaking of which, has anyone seen the Hex Dispensers roadie? I wanted to invite ‘em down to the malt shop for a drink. –Josh Benke (Alien Snatch)

HEX DISPENSERS, THE:
Winchester Mystery House: LP
I was dragged kicking and screaming into the “garage punk” world, being entirely suspicious of the genre’s good-timey nature and undeniable image consciousness. Thankfully, I ended up coming across a handful of bands that I truly love, and The Hex Dispensers are right at the top of that short list. I liked their first LP quite a bit, but I was completely blown away by both the Lose My Cool and My Love Is a Bat 7”s. Winchester Mystery House, their second LP, has torn my head clean off. This is the band’s fastest, darkest, and most memorable stuff to date, hands down. The verses are as catchy as the choruses, the music is more melodic yet somehow more evil sounding, and the vocal performance is absolutely killer. As far as I’m concerned, The Hex Dispensers put the rest of their currently über-hip sub-genre to shame. Awesome. –Dave Williams (Alien Snatch)

HEX, THE:
No Car: CD EP
Minimalist art damage. Gimme a second to put on my Dieter one-piece. Now we dance... –Jimmy Alvarado (Troubleman Unlimited, 16 Willow Street, Bayonne, NJ 07002)

HEX, THE:
No Car: CDEP
Minimalist art damage. Gimme a second to put on my Dieter one‑piece. Now we dance... –Jimmy Alvarado (Troubleman Unlimited)

HEXTALLS:
Call It a Comeback: LP
When I put this record on, a loud groan erupted from my body. My ears folded over on their own, trying to block the music out. My body struggled toward the window for a quick escape, but I stood strong and listened. The songs sound so formulaic that I found it hard to differentiate one from the next. They all went on way too long. I sat through lines like “Michael Myers is a big homo” and songs with titles like “Puckward Nipples the 3^rd.” My stamina paid off with the moderately rocking “Unicorn Rider,” during which I thought that this band could have done something nice with the 7” format. Then they rewarded my perseverance by slapping me in the face and closing out the first side with a phone message from the Doctor Phil show in which one of the show’s people said that she sent an e-mail to one of the guys in the band. Yeah, it’s that exciting. So is this record. –MP Johnson (House Party)

HEXTALLS, THE:
Call It a Comeback: CD
Their drummer’s name is Nikki Stixx. Does anyone else besides me think that is fucking hilarious? But that’s not the only thing that will make you laugh on this record. Sit down and read the lyrics sheet like you’re cramming for a final exam. Eat a coffee sandwich if you have to. Once you have them down, sing along and try not to spit out your beer at the same time. Trust me—it’s fun! “On The Third Day, Axl Rose” has the super catchy chorus of “Scott Weiland is an asshole.” I just wish the bonus tracks had the lyrics listed. No worries though, “Martin Lawrence” will quickly become your new favorite song. I promise. –Sean Koepenick (Self-released)

HEXTALLS, THE:
Get Smashed: CD
Competent, knowingly dumb (at least I hope it’s knowlingly), pop punk in the vein of the Queers (when they’re not being a surf band), Chixdiggit (or at least from what I can remember from the couple times I listened to them), or maybe the early Blink-182 stuff (before they were able to keep from putting boner jokes in their power ballads). I don’t think there’s exactly a glut of bands doing this kind of pop punk anymore that aren’t the Queers (who, at this point, are probably trying to be a ‘50s doo wop band), so if it’s your thing, this is worth a couple spins. I’m realizing that’s not really pull quote material, but so it goes. The odd: It’s really weird to start off your album with chanting the name of your singer. I dunno how I feel about that. –Adrian (Self-released, thehextalls@hotmail.com)

HEY GIRL:
Spill Your Guts!!: LP
In the earlier part of this decade, the Bay Area was blessed with a group of guys who played in various bands like Los Rabbis, Tommy Lasorda, and Poser Posse. They made some amazingly crazy punk rock and I feel privileged to have seen them the few times I did, and have the recordings I have of them. I actually only have one recording and it’s the Los Rabbis CD that was on S.P.A.M. Records. That CD features a song called “Hey Girl,” which I can only assume influenced this band’s name. Hey Girl remind me of Los Rabbis’ poppier moments, and “Hey Girl” was, without a doubt, their poppiest: same multi-vocaled, lo-fi, distorted, slop punk with just enough feedback to give it effect but not make it annoying. Bad ass. –Daryl Gussin (Thrillhouse)

HEY MIKE!:
Embrace Your Hooks: CD
Harmonious SoCal power pop punk of the most flavorful variety. I’ll admit to my guilty pleasure from bands like Hey Mike! I found this to be a great release. The production was top-notch and these five songs ended much too quickly. If this is any hint at their future, these guys are off to a nice start. JasonK –Guest Contributor (Takeover)

HEY WILLPOWER:
Dance: CDEP

Push aside your inhibitions and embrace the gold-sequined, guilty pleasure that is San Francisco’s latest derriere-shakin’ sensation, Hey Willpower. Imperial Teen’s Will Schwartz is seriously exploring his bootilicious side with this exuberant display of lip-glossed shimmy and soul. The band employ not one but two full-time dancers, which gives you a pretty good idea of what to expect from their live set. Thus far, Hey Willpower has readied Gravy Train!!!! and LeTigre fans with opening slots on their most recent tours, but now with this four song EP you can get down and enjoy the dance party at home.

–Kat Jetson (Cochon, www.cochonrecords.com)

HGW:
Niech Milcza Tylko Martwi: CD
By all appearances, a modern Polish hardcore band that’s doing its damnedest to give early Raw Power a run for their money. Slightly metallic guitars, occasionally thrashy beats, political lyrics, and a singer trying pass his spleen through his vocal chords. –Jimmy Alvarado (redevilrec.com)

HI RED CENTER:
Assemble: CD
It seems like every time I get a batch of CDs to review there is always one album with which I don’t know what to do. This time around it would be Hi Red Center’s Assemble. I am familiar with their label, Joyful Noise, and Hi Red Center sounds akin to some of the other material on there: kind of quirky and odd, but retaining something almost endearing within that weirdness. In that sense, they are very similar to Deerhoof but without the tiny Japanese voice. The range of instruments (vibraphone, keys, clarinet, trumpet, and bassoon as well as guitar and bass) is welcome and gives Hi Red Center some solid artistic ground to state their claim for being slightly unique. The vocals are male with some good harmonies, but after repeated listens and mulling over the nine tracks, I can’t help but think of those cute Japanese vocals of Deerhoof instead. It hits me how much this reminds me of the West Coast quartet except different vocals and Hi Red Center isn’t quite as spastic. Thus it comes down to this comparison of West Coast and East Coast (Hi Red Center is from NYC) quirkiness. While I respect their attempt at artistry, the interest in listening to bands like this on a frequent basis might require pretty tight jeans and a better haircut on my part. –Kurt Morris (Joyful Noise)

HI-FI KILLERS / LOS DRAGOS:
Split: 7”
Lo-fi, kinda snotty punk from these bands. Los Dragos have a vaguely rockabilly vibe on the first song and then a faster garage vibe on the second one. Hi Fi Killers sound like a slower, trashier version of the Briefs or Hatepinks. Both songs are similar and real lo-fi. Snotty punk, vaguely mod, and vaguely new wavey in parts –Mike Frame (Nicotine, www.nicotinerecords.com)

HI-FI KILLERS, THE/LOS DRAGOS:
CD version of split 7” for them that don’t have any turntable: CD
Hmmm… the first Hi-Fi Killers song sounds kinda like a he-man version of the Willowz (pre-total suckage), whilst the other sounds like a decent stab at Little Steven’s Underground Garage type music that has just breathlessly arrived at the dock, ticket-bearing arms flailing madly, only to see the ship sailing out to sea without them. The first Los Dragos tune starts off like the Dead Kennedys playing rockabilly with a mousetrap for a snare drum, then augments that with some tastily repulsive Greg Ginn/Gary Farrell guitar leads the likes of which i ain’t heard in a while. Second song is kinda more Mooney Suzuki-ish. Further observations have been withheld in lieu of a blank stare (stares). Okay, i’m done. BEST SONG: Hi-Fi Killers, “Broken Babe” BEST SONG TITLE: Los Dragos, “No Woman No Chain” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: The disc graphic looks like a cross between the cover of the first Joe Jackson album and the paneling at that club The Raven in Denver. –Rev. Norb (Nicotine)

HI-STANDARD:
Love Is a Battlefield: CDEP
I was very scared when I saw this because I thought I was going to have to listen to a cover of that terrible Pat Benetar song. To my relief, it wasn’t on this disc. Hi-Standard is what I like to describe as a Fat Wreck band with the typical Fat Wreck sound. You all know what I’m talking about. Thank goodness they are starting to change that. However, Hi-Standard is not. Very Fat pop punk here. Not bad, but not good either. Kinda okay for background music. Why does everyone insist on covering “Can’t Help Falling in Love”? Jesus Christ! –Toby Tober (Fat)

HI-STANDARD:
Love Is a Battlefield: CD
A four-song teaser until they record their next full length. I love this three piece from Japan so much because of their ability to bastardize songs when they do covers. Here they do a cover of “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” Their own songs are right up there with their special brand of bubble gum-fueled fun punk. In the same vein as the Toy Dolls but Japanese style. They can always put a smile on my jaded face. Hearing singer/guitarist start blurting out in his thick Japanese accented English, I know I’m in for a good time. They always seem to be having more fun than the rest. Can’t wait for their next full length and their next tour in the states. –Donofthedead (Fat)

HIBACHI STRANGLERS, THE:
Our City Doesn’t Stink All the Time: 7”
Yeah, yeah, give the record titled Our City Doesn’t Stink All The Time to the guy from New Jersey. Don’t think I don’t see the joke here. Anyway, loud, fuzzed-out psyche/ garage rock. I want to say reminds me a little of The Carbonas (or at least makes them come to mind for some reason), but not nearly as straight forward, and a lot noisier most of the time. I like this. Good stuff. –Joe Evans III (Self-released)

HICKOIDS:
Corn Demon: CD
Texas has always been one of the hotspots for punk’s most eccentric bands, including the Big Boys, Dicks, Kamikaze Refrigerators, DRI, MDC, Poison 13, and the Hickoids, an ‘80s “cowpunk” band that managed to embody both those terms without sacrificing anything from either genre. The first fifteen tracks here, from their We’re in It for the Corn album, sounds like the twangy cousin of Texas’ most extreme musical proponents it is—Scratch Acid set loose on the Sons of the Pioneers’ repertoire, or the Butthole Surfers up to their eyeballs in psychedelic slide guitar ’n’ chicken-pickin’. The remainder of the disc, the tracks from their Hard Corn EP, is a wee bit more subdued sonically, but their lyrical subject matter and cover song selection remained just as off-kilter. Were they the greatest punk band ever? Maybe, maybe not. They were, however, a pretty fun listen, and sometimes that’s more important. –Jimmy Alvarado (Saustex)

HICKOIDS:
Waltz a-Cross-Dress Texas: CD
The Hickoids were one of those bands like the Dead Milkmen who straddled the fence between novelty band and punk band. It was clear from the tunes that they didn’t take themselves too seriously and yet, obviously, put some thought into what they were doing. The music on this reissue does nothing to sway that assessment, with tunes that poke fun at whatever’s nearest to them at the time with enough cowboy punker twang to satisfy any Lama-sportin’ Mohican looking to dive off the stage. “Queen of the BBQ” still brings a smile to my face. –Jimmy Alvarado (Saustex)

HIDDEN CHARMS:
The Square Root of Love: LP
Take Dean Dirg (let’s hit stuff and scream), The Hives (cocky swagger, but, Jesus, they can rule), add a lead singer that hasn’t quite figured out his meds, mix ‘em up, give ‘em silly haircuts, get ‘em stinko drunk, have them dry hump barely bar-legal lasses, touch a keyboard on occasion, pull out switchblades, trip, and fall over them while doing a stupid trick that costs an eye, and that’s what it sounds like. Pretty much. Fight your friends. Puke where you sleep. Roll over so you don’t choke to death. Teeth are overrated. Snort the pavement if the drugs fail. You know: healthy depravity because the prospect of getting old really sucks. I think they have a song that goes, “She’s a wombat,” too. (I love wombats.) The record comes with a stenciled paper bag so you can be an anonymous accomplice during their live show. It’s retarded fun that could have easily come out of Portland, but hails from Germany. –Todd Taylor (Alien Snatch)

HIDDEN SPOTS:
Important Transmissions: 7”EP
Yeah, I know, making DIY punk music’s hard and its benefits sometime get fuckin’ lost in being scraped down to nubs, but it’s bands like the Hidden Spots that reveal one of its secret weapons: strong-ass regionalism (not necessarily by geography). You see, there are these eddies of groups of bands around the world that continually morph and continue to rule, like The Riverboat Gamblers/High Tension Wires/ Marked Men/ Potential Johns brain trust and Sexy/ Chickenhead/ ADD/C/ Future Virgins/ Horrible Odds/ Hidden Spots think tank. I don’t want to say “geographically,” because folks move, but stay in contact, and the music strain’s in ‘em, regardless of what type of dirt’s underneath their feet. These family trees retain that nice, solid, oaky essence through all the bands, but each one is as distinct as the veins in a leaf. Enough of the tree hugging. The Hidden Spots take that unshakable earnestness of The Jack Palance Band (and the same voice: Mike Pack)—catchy, but not too sweet, with little flourishes that reveal themselves after repeated listens—along with the rumble of Leatherface to churn out four songs that light a new spark. –Todd Taylor (ADD)

HIDDEN SPOTS:
Secret Noise: 7” EP
Part of the Chattanooga DIY punk brain trust, The Hidden Spots are an earnest, gruff, smiling, hard-working, deep-thinking force of a band. Think along the line of line cooks who know not only the overwhelming weight of being and how to make excellent things out of basic ingredients, but also harness the power of being a decent human being. Think along the lines of The Grabass Charlestons and Tim Version; golden statuettes could be made of all these dudes on their day-to-day awesomeness and even smaller golden statuettes should be given them to all of them for making consistently honest, self-examining, self-challenging music in a relative musical vacuum. (Beyond friends, dedicated fans, and family.) I read a lot of music books, and fans of great bands like the Minutemen and The Replacements lament how overlooked they were during their time; how the years have just proven how great the music was, aside from prevailing tastes and big stage novelty, and I can’t help but think it’s happening in the present tense with these dudes and folks like The Future Virgins. Celebrate this shit now. –Todd Taylor (Plan-It-X South)

HIDDEN SPOTS:
Self-titled: LP
Being a small town punk in his late ‘30s, I’m going to take some stabs here, and it’s based on a talk I had with my friend, Matt’s Incredible. In the mid-to-late ‘80s, punk rock as we know it was in pretty bad shape. The first and second waves had come and gone, yet it was still slowly infiltrating the lower population centers in America: the high desert, the Midwest, the South. So, it wouldn’t be completely out of the question to find a Suicidal Tendencies or JFA record then picking something from an active, pushed band on college radio that was more ruffle-cuffed, overly melodic, and largely English. Cure. OMD. Depeche Mode. The Bolshoi. Icicle Works. Love And Rockets. Flesh For Lulu. Simple Minds. For fuck’s sake, there was no interweb, barely no instant anything when it came to underground music. “New” could be a decade. So when the gruff-voiced Eric Nelson launches into covers of two of the aforementioned bands, a couple of the pins drop in the lock to the safe to further understanding the riches of the Hidden Spots. 1.) Fuck pretense. Blame the world and society, but don’t blame people over thirty for knowing and liking this stuff, word-for-word, unironically. 2.) There are valuable lessons to be learned from “Duckie Rock” (Pretty in Pink) by many bands, especially in the hooks and melodies departments. 3.) Reclamation, Chattanooga Cultural Division, has made one of the most exciting, powerful, and positive full length records in all of 2009. It spits fire at organized religion, the concept of national pride, and hugs its friends closely with as much ferocity. I’m agog on how great this is and I was already on “Mike Pack Shit-stained High Five” bandwagon a couple years back. –Todd Taylor (Mauled By Tigers)

HIDDEN TRACKS:
The Sweet Sounds of Excess: CD
I swear, whatever I did to deserve getting so much indie rock to review, I apologize! Please! End the deluge! Contains the line, “I wanna be your whore/I wanna be all yours.” Lots of new-school Dr. Frank-esque vocals, and, once again, tons of R.E.M. influence. One pretty alright song (“Insomnia”). More of that, less of the rest! If this were a cereal, it’d be a defective box, containing mostly Special K (and advertised as such), but with a little sprinkling of Honey Nut Chex thrown in (fortunately) by mistake. The end! –Maddy (Disposable Pop Revolution)

HIDE YOUR DAUGHTERS:
The Teen Girl’s Guide to Social Success: CD
This one gets filed in the “book by its cover” file. The cover sports nice drawings of bears and birds in relaxing shades of white, grey and light blue. Calming to say the least, but had me concerned about what lay in store for me musically. Let’s just say that I wasn’t expecting a mutated Melvins/Jesus Lizard hybrid to jump out and start smashing my head into the desk and punch my brain from the inside out. The vocalist kind of falls somewhere in between the aforementioned Lizard’s David Yow and Rick Froberg of Drive Like Jehu and Hot Snakes. As for the tunes, they’re heavy and sludgey with little sprinkles of Nomeansno—like bass rolling through them. Pretty good stuff. –Ty Stranglehold (No List, myspace.com/nolistrecords)

HIDE YOUR DAUGHTERS:
Twisted and Distorted Gender Relations 101: CD
Canadian noise rock for rolling around on the floor in broken glass and cigarette ashes after your girlfriend fucks your best friend. It’s got a very AmRep kinda feel, and lord knows we don’t find enough bands like that around these days. Would fit nicely on a triple bill between sets by the Cutthroats 9 and Shallow, North Dakota. No need to beat your head against the wall, folks, just turn on Hide Your Daughters and let ‘em do it for you. –Greg Barbara (No List)

HIFI SCIENCE:
HiFi Generation: CD-EP
More on the punk end of the pop punk/melodic punk genre. This band could benefit from some back-up vocals! Still, not bad. If this were a cereal, it’d be Honey Bunches of Oats. Crunchy (non-pop) texture with pieces of sugary junk (read: pop music) stuck on it! Please increase the sugary junk to crunchy stuff ratio! –Maddy (self-released?, www.hifisilence.com)

HIGGINS++:
Commercial Brake: CD
Dude, you need, at the very least, a drummer something awful. Once you achieve that benchmark, we’ll talk about the songs. –Jimmy Alvarado (JSNTGM)

HIGH BEAMS:
Hallucination: CD
Safe, bland, teethless pop punk pap that isn’t even remotely worth commenting on. Make this hallucination stop. –Aphid Peewit (Dead Beat)

HIGH BEAMS:
Hallucination: CD
Safe, bland, teethless pop punk pap that isn't even remotely worth commenting on. Make this hallucination stop.
–Aphid Peewit (Dead Beat)

HIGH COURT, THE:
Puppet: CD
It’s amazing what you can do in recording studios these days: apparently now there are knobs you can turn to make you sound like My Chemical Romance and Fallout Boy (turned up to about seven and ten, respectively, here). –Joe Evans III (I Surrender)

HIGH ON FIRE:
Death Is This Communion: CD
I really wanted to dig this demon seed, the band’s reputation precedes them. However, their dopey record company sent me a promo CD that cuts an eleven track CD up into eighty-eight pieces, apparently to prevent me from burning copies for all my friends. It’s hard to get into the flow of the record when it pauses every thirty to forty-five seconds. Totally fuckin’ lame. Relapse Records: 0. –Sean Koepenick (Relapse)

HIGH TENSION WIRES:
Send a Message: CD
Life’s full of “what ifs?” that you don’t think would come true, that you just toy with to make your day seem better. World peace through the betterment of music type shit, like what if Mike Wiebe of the Riverboat Gamblers fronted most of the Marked Men (Mark and Jeff) to be a supergroup? (And most supergroups aren’t that super: Damn Yankees? Travelling Wilburys? Very not so good.) The High Tension Wires, goodwill ambassadors to music lovers worldwide, fulfill one of my musical fantasies. The result? Sonic butter that melts down to a barbed wire center via the microwave-intense scene of Denton, Texas. Take the Undertones, The Buzzcocks, and The Jam (with those little, simple flourishes that break a song wide open while your fingers snap), put them in a hostile environment (a couple decades of Skoal-stained teeth threats and suburbs that were designed for suffocation of any sort of difference), light a couple of Scared of Chaka bottlerockets into the mix, steal the hubcaps, blow a radiator hose driving through Tucson, and there you go: ten songs, a little over eighteen glorious minutes, no fuckin’ around. –Todd Taylor (Dirtnap)

HIGH TENSION WIRES:
Midnight Cashier: LP
Ever sat around in your undies and thought, “Huh, I wonder what Mike Wiebe of the Riverboat Gamblers would sound like with Mark, Mike, and Jeff of the Marked Men and Chris of the Reds?” I mean, they all live in the same geographic area. It’s not that inconceivable; weirder shit like nanotechnology is afoot nowadays. Still in your underwear, think Buzzcocks and that smattering of non-ass, synthesizer-driven stuff in the ‘80s (go ahead and cherry pick some Jesus And Mary Chain, some Cure, Echo And The Bunnymen, a whisper of Bauhaus) on top of that, and bang, there you go. On one hand, it’s pretty much what you’d expect (in the fact that it’s great, tight, and instantly memorable and sounds a lot like the Marked Men), on the other hand—and I’d suspected this all along—that this is a group of folks with many more than one or two bunnies to pull out of their collective hats and they aren’t afraid to roll that bunny up and throw the occasional curveball. –Todd Taylor (Dirtnap)

HIGH TENSION WIRES:
Midnight Cashiers: CD
Reminds me of a combination of New Mexico’s Shang-A-Lang and TTK’s Sean Cole songs. This hasn’t sunk its teeth in deep yet, but a few more listens and it just might. –Mr. Z (Dirtnap)

HIGH TONE SON OF A BITCH:
Better You Than Me: CD-EP
This is quite possibly the worst metal album since Heavy Metal Thunder by Saxon. –Josh (Unknown Controller)

HIGHER GIANT:
Al’s Moustache: 7”
You know those supergroups that showcase aging, once-great punks crooning boring post-punk indignities? Fortunately, Higher Giant is not one of those bands. Instead, they’re an earnest, lovable melodic punk outfit featuring hardcore legend Ernie Parada (Token Entry) on vocals and guitar, backed by members of Warzone, Lifetime, Kid Dynamite, Paint It Black, and The Arsons. Growing up doesn’t have to mean growing into lameness. As simplistic as hardcore pretends to be, there are some fucking sharp musicians hiding in the mix. Four of them are rocking out in Higher Giant. I can’t wait for a full-length from these guys. This EP is on beautiful colored vinyl, with a free digital download included. It’s a truly excellent sampling of unimposing, post-core brilliance. The emergence of Al’s Moustache will make you rethink your desire to euthanize the old guy in the back of the room. –Art Ettinger (Black Numbers, theblacknumbers.com)

HIGHSCHOOL NIGHTMARE:
Nightmare High: 12”
This is a really weird record. Highschool Nightmare is from Hamburg, Germany but they sound like a Bay Area band trying to score a deal with Epitaph circa 1999. Big, flashy guitars, empty hooks, and harmonizing vocals out the ying-yang. It’s like a Lars Frederickson And The Bastards jam session that goes on and on forever. Okay, it’s only sixteen songs, but it feels like forever. I’m not entirely convinced this is a real band and not some kind of high concept karaoke stunt. –Jim Ruland (Longshot Music)

HILLSIDE STRANGLERS / BITE THE BULLET:
Split: 7”
Hillside Stranglers sound like a band that could have been on a bill with the Necros or Die Kreuzen in the early ‘80s. Really cool, trashy Midwest hardcore punk sound. They are from Detroit so they probably grew up on that stuff. Bite The Bullet appear to be from Germany and have kind of a melodic street punk sound. Seems like they would go well on a bill with a band like Oxymoron or Lower Class Brats. Good, solid green vinyl single. –Mike Frame (Detroit Noise)

HINDI GODS:
Rarities: CD
Slinky, sun-damaged, mostly female-fronted rock music featuring Border Radio director Kurt Voss amongst the band members. –Jimmy Alvarado (Stinging Pig, no address)

HINDI GUNS:
Rarities: CD
I feel that Rarities is a somewhat ironic title for this collection, because that pretty much sums up everything about this band. Since most people probably haven’t heard of this band, they play fairly arty jazz meets ‘60s counter culture rock. Interesting stuff. –Joe Evans III (Swingin Pig, no address)

HINDI GUNS:
Do or Die: CD
The opening shot here, “Sugar Drone,” sounds like it was pilfered from the Poster Children’s a-list of tunes. The rest are steeped in that same quasi-psychedelic post-post punk vibe so many of the late ‘80s/early ‘90s indie bands loved so much. Good stuff on the whole, though I’m not quite sure why they selected Yukio Mishima as their cover model. Maybe for no more reason than just ’cause he was an interesting cat. Look him up ’n’ learn something new, kids. –Jimmy Alvarado (myspace.com/hindiguns)

HINDI GUNS, THE:
Patriot Act: CD EP
This was kind of weird and experimental, but nothing super crazy. It starts out somewhat pseudo jazzy, with the vocals consisting entirely of samples of Henry Rollins and Lemmy, talking about the state of society and modern music. The rest is similar, but with female vocals. There’s a lot of writing on the back of this, like “promotional fan club” this, and “found lyrics/recorded live” that, so I was a little confused as to just what this record is or what it’s for, but I still liked it. Overall, this is the kind of strange but interesting stuff that I’d expect Hunchback to cover. –Joe Evans III (French Fan Club)

HINDI GUNS, THE:
Patriot Act: CDEP
This was kind of weird and experimental, but nothing super crazy. It starts out somewhat pseudo jazzy, with the vocals consisting entirely of samples of Henry Rollins and Lemmy, talking about the state of society and modern music. The rest is similar, but with female vocals. There’s a lot of writing on the back of this, like “promotional fan club” this, and “found lyrics/recorded live” that, so I was a little confused as to just what this record is or what it’s for, but I still liked it. Overall, this is the kind of strange but interesting stuff that I’d expect Hunchback to cover. –Joe Evans III (French Fan Club)

HINDI GUNS, THE:
Self-titled: CDEP
I was going to make a joke like “Maryam b/w Count to Ten: CD” in the title, but didn’t, and then I opened this up and saw that it’s one of those CD that looks like vinyl deals, so I regret that decision (I’m not going to lie and say I thought of it before seeing it. I have integrity like that, or something). It’s fitting, since the songs on here are somewhat jazzy, mildly psychedelic, and fairly light in comparison to what I think the subject matter is (I could be wrong though). It’s good stuff, but I wish there was more than two songs. –Joe Evans III (French Fan Club)

HINDI GUNS, THE:
(Many Many) Miles Away b/w Loaded Gun: CD
I’m a little confused by these guys. I’ve reviewed ‘em a handful of times by now, and it’s pretty much always the same: kind of weird rock, usually two or four songs at a time (and one “Rarities” collection). The discs are always made out to look exactly like vinyl. There really isn’t any updated information on them, and can’t seem to tell if they play out live much or not. I just feel like there’s some sort of “agenda” here, but I don’t know what. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL, HINDI GUNS? –Joe Evans III (French Fan Club, no address)

HINDI GUNS, THE:
(Many Many) Miles Away: CD Single
It seems there are two The Hindi Guns—one from Los Angeles and one from Portland, Oregon—and appears that they share a couple of band members. Not that it matters much, as far as I can tell. For the record, this is the Stumptown version of the band. This is a great looking CD single designed to look like a 7” record. Unfortunately, the music doesn’t live up to the promise of the packaging. “(Many Many) Miles Away” alternates between a nonchalant groove during the verses and an awkward, cringe-inducing chorus. It’s the vocals that make this so unbearable a listening experience. I want to smack the slack jawed, Lou Reed vocal delivery out of the singer’s mouth. “Loaded Gun” is a Dandy Warhols throw away, which is saying it sucks something awful since the Dandy’s stuff is garbage. College indie rock, Brit pop wannabe schlock. –Josh Benke (French Fan Club, myspace.com/hindiguns)

HIP PRIESTS, THE / SONIC NEGROS:
Dogfight: Split CD
Hip Priests: Loud rock’n’roll delivered with more than a dab of punk furor, much in line with the non-Discharge sounding stuff that was coming out of Scandinavia some years back. Sonic Negros: More of the same. On the whole, this was some mighty fine tuneage. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.myspace.com/zodiackillerrecords)

HIPBONE SLIM AND THE KNEE TREMBLERS:
The Sheik Said Shake: CD
If Thee Headcoats were the answer to the early Kinks, then Hipbone Slim and his merry cohorts (which include Headcoat Bruce Brand on drums) are the answer to the early Yardbirds. Although there’s lotsa rockabilly and country tossed in for good measure, they mine a lot of the same bluesy garage rock as the band that kick started the careers of Messrs. Clapton, Beck and Page, making sure to add both seriously good musicianship and just the right amount of punk rock attitude to give it all some edge. There is so much Bo Diddley, Buddy Holly, John Lee Hooker, Hank Williams, and Carl Perkins being mined it almost feels like they could market this as a crash course in the history of rock’n’roll in one easy disc and find little argument. Good, good stuff. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.voodoorhythm.com)

HIPBONE SLIM AND THE KNEE TREMBLERS:
The Kneeanderthal Sounds of: CD
Leave it to a buncha limeys to grace us with a pitch-perfect blend of the finest in American roots music. Embedded into the, uh, sequences of ones and zeros here are the ghosts of Buddy Holly, Bo Diddley, early Johnny Cash, Link Wray, Carly Perkins, the Ventures, and even a little of what made early Stax Records so swell. Sounds stale, don’t it? Well, these guys are so goddamned good at what they do that they sound as fresh, vital, and timeless as their heroes. Yup, they’ve walloped us with another stunner. –Jimmy Alvarado (voodoorhythm.com)

HIPBONE SLIM AND THE KNEE-TREMBLERS:
Snake Pit: CD
The drummer from the Headcoats is what caught my attention. The sound convinced me to hang on to this one. Blues with a voodoo feel meets early rock. The vocals have a distant sound to them. There’s a very mellow feel to the whole sound, but the guitars are what keep it strong. Vocals make me think of Ricky (not the later Rick) Nelson if he’d been a very dirty boy growing up. Lately, this has been the perfect wind-down music after a long day for me. –Megan Pants (Voodoo Rhythm)

HIPBONE SLIME AND THE KNEE TREMBLERS:
Confidential: 7"
Two songs of stripped down rock’n’roll in the Billy Childish style. This little seven inch boasts some back-up vocals by punk rock’s answer to Nancy Sinatra, Holly Golightly. Veteran of the Milkshakes and the Masonics, Mickey Hampshire, lends his vocals and guitar. And the rest of the Childish cronies conspire to belt out two songs that could make Alan Freed dance in his coffin. –Sean Carswell (Voodoo Rhythm)

HIPSHAKES:
“I’m Gone” b/w “Do It!”: 7”
Really wanted to like this—straight forward garage rock with nice flourishes into This Bike Is A Pipebomb territory on the B-side—but after repeated listens, it just lacked its own strong personality. It’s a band that kept reminding me of bands I like a whole bunch and wanting to listen to their records instead. Perhaps it’s the mastering. The band sounds so clustered together that maybe their own identity wasn’t allowed to spark. Dunno. –Todd Taylor (Die Slaughterhaus)

HIPSHAKES, THE:
Not Oblivians E.P.: 7”
This 7” is called Not Oblivians E.P. cuz the two original songs on it (“Big Black Hole,” “Never Enough”) share the same name as (surprise!) Oblivians ones. Okay. To further the garage-punk link, the album’s on Goner Records (you know, the Memphis-based label that sometimes releases Jay Reatard’s records; the same one that put out the Reigning Sound live album—recorded at their storefront—last year). Anyway, yeah, this album sounds a lot like the Oblivians—with a bass guitar. In short: it’s really boring. Apparently the Hipshakes have forgotten it’s 2006, and simply rehashing Eric, Greg and Jack’s old shtick (you know—Swamp Rats mixed with the Misfits) is really redundant. (I mean, there are—like—thousands of bands currently doing the same thing.) And while I’m not debating the difficulty of replicating the Oblivians’ sound (it’s harder than one thinks), it’s time to move on (see the Reigning Sound’s last album, Miss Alex White and the Red Orchestra’s Self-titled record or the Deadly Snakes’ Porcella). Ultimately, the Hipshakes sound only slightly more informed than those campy bands replicating the “sound of ‘77.” –Ryan Leach (Goner)

HIPSHAKES, THE:
Shake Their Hips: CD
Geography allowed me to be the first Yankee on the planet to own a vinyl copy of this release. I simply stopped by Slovenly HQ after work one day in January and picked it up. Been enjoying the hell out of it ever since. Ah, the benefits of living in Reno. Shake Their Hips is a blown-out, bash-you-in-the-eardrums punk fest recorded with the needles pinned in the red, which suits the music very well, indeed. “No No No No,” “Try Again,” and “I’m So Bored” are pulverizing, aggressive blasts of insanity that manage to stay tuneful and stuck on the brain for days on end. The Hipshakes slow the tempo down on “See Me Coming,” which grooves like a lost Velvet Underground tune with vocals spat wildly into the microphone. Killer covers of “Summertime Blues” and “Born to Lose” round out an album that is guaranteed to wind up on everyone’s year-end top ten list. –Josh Benke (Slovenly)

HISSYFITS, THE:
Wish You Were Here…: 7”
Three cuts that call to mind the sound of The Bangles, minus the polished candy glaze. Pretty cool tunes on this seven incher, but it’s not really my bottle of Diet Pepsi. I will say this, though – any band that uses an LP title in their lyrics (End of the Century) like the Hissyfits did is a-o-fuckin’-k with me. And if you have to ask who’s LP that is, your skull must be filled to the eardrums with feces, you shithead. –Designated Dale (www.hissyfits.com)

HISSYFITS, THE:
Wish You Were Here...: 7”
Three cuts that call to mind the sound of The Bangles, minus the polished candy glaze. Pretty cool tunes on this seven incher, but it’s not really my bottle of Diet Pepsi. I will say this, though – any band that uses an LP title in their lyrics (End of the Century) like the Hissyfits did is a-o-fuckin’-k with me. And if you have to ask who’s LP that is, your skull must be filled to the eardrums with feces, you shithead. –Designated Dale (www.hissyfits.com)

HISTORY:
Ghosts in the City: CD
A heavy mid/late-’80s Dischord influence is all over this, so the emo tinges are in abundance. Lord knows it ain’t my cup o’ poison, but their reliance on a direct tapping of the emo source rather than more contemporary stuff makes for a much edgier sound, a performance that exudes more conviction, and a bit more creativity in how the songs are structured. They’ve also got some good hooks, which never hurts. –Jimmy Alvarado (24 Hr. Service Station)

HISTORY INVADES:
Vision Vanish Invisible: CD
After reading the press sheet and being prepared for something that would, “confront, contort, and confound your sense of what rock/punk/electronic music should be,” I can say what this left me with was a sense of what rock/punk/electronic music shouldn’t be. This is basically some heavily processed beats that have a bunch of equally heavily processed sounds and vocals going on all over the place, which adds up to hipster rave ambient music. I’m not against experimenting with punk rock because breaking outside the standard punk rock box can be absolutely inspiring (see Shellac, Nomeansno, The Minutemen, Slint, and The Locust, to name a few). This, on the other hand, sounds like some rejected Nine Inch Nails rhythm tracks overlaid with samples from Pure Moods CDs and some lazily drawled wannabe post-modern musings. To quote the press sheet again: “The word to name the sound isn’t available…” On the contrary I think it is: boring. –Adrian (Lujo)

HITCH:
We Are Electric!: CD
Belgium trio sprinkles in a little Kerosene 454 with a splash of Bluetip. The angular, disjointed riffage is there. But this band, after ten years of slogging it out on both sides of the Atlantic, bring their own pizzazz to the proceedings. “Radiation Winter Part II” has a really cool vibe. Looking to hear more from this band in the future. –Sean Koepenick (Moonlee)

HITCH:
Self-titled: CDEP
Apparently these guys used to have a more metallic sound. That’s fortunately absent now. Their sound is definitely unique in the sense it’s drawing from all over the place. Imagine a band like the Minutemen or Dawson hooking up with folks like Drive Like Jehu. A weird but interesting mix. Now add a little more polish and melody to that. “Midnight Party Special” is my favorite cut here with its discordant angle and cool pace. I wouldn’t mind hearing more. Bring it on. –Matt Average (Delboy)

HITCH:
Clair.Obscur: CD
Sounds here like someone is feeling for the gray areas between pop and noise. Big grunge-type drumming and the occasional catchy bit makes things interesting now and then. –Jimmy Alvarado (Latest Flame)

HITCHHIKERS, THE:
Self-titled: CD
Mitch Cartwright, former bass slinger for those sorely-missed nudniks The Humpers, has been rumbling on with his Hitchhikers the last four years with a hell of an impressive band that he’s now playing bass and singing for. Steve “Spills” Swailes, who you might’ve seen in the Neurotones, as well as various line-ups of The Gears and The Controllers, is also along for the ride on lead guitar. Musically, it’d be easy to compare the ‘Hikers to The Humpers, ‘cause the influence is there, but this particular group of nudniks are doing just fine. Key jingle-jangles here are “The New Son,” “Strychnine,” “Life of Crime,” and the song that will get your drunken, chain-smoking grandma up and shaking her ass, “Neckbone Stomp.” Catch ‘em out at their next gig, if given the chance (and keep your booze away from Spills). –Designated Dale (Hitchhikers, www.thehitchhikers.com)

HITCHHIKERS, THE:
Demo: CD
Ex-Bleeder/Humper Mitch Cartwright has been out and about with this new band of his for some time now and I gotta admit, it’s actually pretty fucking cool to see him fronting his band, The Hitchhikers. Included in the fold is Steve “Stingy Brim” Spills (ex-Neurotones) and Eric (also an ex-Bleeder) on guitars. Pimp-slapping the kit is Marty (ex-He’s Dead Jim) and ya got Mitch pulling vocal duties while workin’ the bass gitter. How do they sound? Think of The Humpers showing The Supersuckers how it’s done, and with this demo, there’s some really cruisin’ rock and roll that thuds the back of yer ribcage, leaving a faint, sickening feeling in the pit of the stomach, unlike getting kicked in the nerts. Yep, it’s that good, fuckface, so save yourself the drunken, fist-swinging arguments amongst you and your dumbass friends and visit their website. As of now, their full-length has yet to come out, but logging onto their site will give you a chance to hear these tunes for yourself. Your animal porn site’s not going anywhere, so what’s your excuse? Just do it, you sick fuck. –Designated Dale (www.thehitchhikers.com)

HITCHHIKERS, THE:
Intellectual Properties of the Minimal Mind: CD
Ex-Humpers and ex-Bleeders make up this band that reminds me of the Hyenas, the Supersuckers, and Nashville Pussy. You know, the types of bands who claim to be dangerous ex-felons and boast that “anything can happen at our shows,” when, in reality, everything about their live performances is choreographed—the guitarist’s poses, the bass players facial expressions, the drummers stick twirls—and predictable. I didn’t hear anything exciting on this disc and rolled my eyes and chuckled at the tough guy band photo they have superimposed on top of the CD. Real bad assed. –Josh Benke (Zodiac Killer)

HIVES, THE:
Veni Vidi Vicious: CD
Epitaph takes a break from cookie-cutter Bad Religion clone bands and forays into the fascinating world of lo-fi trash punk. Amazingly, the band they chose to bankroll is pretty darn good. A lot of energy and quality musicianship is squeezed tightly into relatively short, catchy songs by these five Swedes. Fuck, I’m impressed. –Jimmy Alvarado (Burning Heart/Epitaph, 2798 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90026)

HIVES, THE:
A.k.a. I-D-I-O-T: CDEP
Straight-up, tits-first, no-brakes, all cash, no flash Swedish garage rock that ranks right with the highest of the lowest and dragstrips right through all six songs without hesitation. Fantastic. Frenetic. Wonderfucked. Goes right into the collection next to the New Bomb Turks, Scared of Chaka, Motards, Teengenerate, and Loudmouths. (If you're strapped for cash, go for the "Barely Legal" CD. All these songs are on there, too.) –Todd Taylor (Gearhead, PO Box 421219, SF, CA 94124; www.gearheadmagazine.com)

HIVES, THE:
Hate To Say I Told You So: CDEP
This is simply a three-song CD. The first two are from The Hives latest full length, Veni Vidi Vicious. If you have not had the pleasure of listening to them, they are a retro rock’n’roll band. They remind me somewhat of The Stooges. The third song is a previously unreleased track. It is a forgettable instrumental with a synthesizer thrown in giving it a little ‘80s new wave feel. I wouldn’t waste your time with this three-song CD and go pick up one of The Hives’ full lengths. I’ve heard three other CDs from them and they are all worth getting. –Toby Tober (Gearhead)

HIVES, THE:
Hate To Say I Told You So: CDEP
This is simply a three-song CD. The first two are from The Hives latest full length, Veni Vidi Vicious. If you have not had the pleasure of listening to them, they are a retro rock’n’roll band. They remind me somewhat of The Stooges. The third song is a previously unreleased track. It is a forgettable instrumental with a synthesizer thrown in giving it a little '80s new wave feel. I wouldn’t waste your time with this three-song CD and go pick up one of The Hives’ full lengths. I’ve heard three other CDs from them and they are all worth getting. –Toby Tober (Gearhead)

HJERTE STOP:
Äärh, Fuck… Der er HjerteStop!: 7” EP
What’s up with Denmark? Do they have a punk lab that distills some of the best and most exciting hardcore of yore (Minor Threat, Black Flag), then cross-pollinates it with the fresh wounds of recent bands like Career Suicide, Regulations, and No Hope For The Kids, while dangling a new pine-scented air freshener on the rearview mirror? Hjerte Stop’s part pioneering sprit, part lighting Molotov cocktails with extended middle fingers, part pissing in the mouths of cops, and part good, old-fashioned ripping along. They’re right in the vortex of a strong stable of Dutch bands that aren’t giving up nor slowing down. –Todd Taylor (Kick n Punch)

HJERTESTOP:
Aarh Fuck...: EP
Okay, this is the domestic pressing of their EP that originally came out in 2005 on Kick N Punch, then Adult Crash. There’s a Young Wasteners and Incontrollados connection here, and this band is of the same style: old style punk from Denmark. If you like stuff like City-X, and the Razorblades, or even a semi recent band like No Hope For The Kids, then you need to get this. Hjertestop pull off the retro sound with ease. The songs are tuneful, catchy, and well structured and played. I think my favorite of this record is “Vi Er Overalt” with its hyper tempo and classic guitar sound. Then there’s the song that kicks off the flip, “Ind I Lejren” that’s pretty ripping as well. Hell, this whole record rips. They switch up the tempos, create some tension, and pace this thing properly throughout. More than a mere collection of songs, this is a solid EP. I heard these guys played the L.A. area not too long ago. Come back so I can see you guys. I’ll take you to Punky Reggae Party when the show is done! Hjertestop translates to “heart failure.” Whoa! –Matt Average (Fashionable Idiots, fashionableidiots.com)

HOBART:
Sorry I Asked: CD
Ever wonder what would happen if Leatherface put out an instrumental album? It would probably sound a lot like Sorry I Asked. This Hobart album is full of songs that build with tension and explode and build up the tension again. And there is some singing. The vocals aren't bad. They don't sound anything like Frankie Stubbs (only the music sounds like Leatherface). It's just that the vocals are one of the least important parts of the songs here. The focus is more on the musicianship, which is excellent. These guys can play. And it doesn't do them justice to compare them only to Leatherface. On top of that tension, explosion, more tension, Hobart also can mix in arty parts, not unlike Drive Like Jehu or the Hot Snakes. Overall, this is a nice little lost treasure. It's definitely worth hunting down. –Sean Carswell (Sumo Agnew)

HOBART:
Sorry I Asked: CD
Ever wonder what would happen if Leatherface put out an instrumental album? It would probably sound a lot like Sorry I Asked. This Hobart album is full of songs that build with tension and explode and build up the tension again. And there is some singing. The vocals aren’t bad. They don’t sound anything like Frankie Stubbs (only the music sounds like Leatherface). It’s just that the vocals are one of the least important parts of the songs here. The focus is more on the musicianship, which is excellent. These guys can play. And it doesn’t do them justice to compare them only to Leatherface. On top of that tension, explosion, more tension, Hobart also can mix in arty parts, not unlike Drive Like Jehu or the Hot Snakes. Overall, this is a nice little lost treasure. It’s definitely worth hunting down. –Sean Carswell (Sumo Agnew)

HOBART:
Self-titled: CDEP
The bass player of Hobart sent me this CD to review, along with a note saying that he’d read one of my reviews and decided that, judging from my review, I didn’t know shit about music in Tucson. He sent me a whole package of music that was supposed to educate me. In the package were a couple of Blacks seven inches (so I knew he had good taste); a CD he burned for me with a bunch of cool Tucson bands like the Weird Lovemakers, the Blacks, and Los Federales; and this CDEP. It was hell of a good package, and I’ll take criticism like that any day if the criticism comes with cool music to back it up. I’ll have to admit that I really scrutinized this EP the most, thinking to myself, if this guy says he knows so much about music, let’s see how he backs it up. So I listened really closely to these three Hobart songs as they came blaring out of my speakers all disjointed and noisy and solid and in blocks of time that far exceeded the requisite two-minute punk song. It was a little arty. I could hear some Hot Snakes in the guitar. The vocals started, and my first thought was, oh, shit, they should’ve stuck with just the instrumental parts. The songs continued to wind up and build into this crazy ball of tension. And, luckily, they remembered to bring on the rock. These songs were way better than I hoped they’d be. I decided to listen to the EP a few more times and hope that I could find something to criticize about them, but the more I listened, the less criticism I had. By the third listen, I even liked the vocals. What can I say? This shit rips. Consider me educated.
–Sean Carswell (Sumo Agnew)

HOBOCOP:
Self-titled: CD
Oakland’s Hobocop dishes out some deliciously lo-fi recordings of some quirky and catchy garage rock on this here CD. The vocals echo. The bass is tuneful and melodic. The drums snap and pop like a jazzy Gene Krupa snare and cymbal dance party. Organ notes round out the sound nicely by filling in the vacant spaces. Hobocop succeeds in bridging the gap between Nuggets-era garage rock and punky lo-fi Tucson weirdoes like Nobunny and the Sneaky Pinks. Good stuff. –Jeff Proctor (myspace.com/hobocopmusic)

HOGAN BEACH:
Bleed Sadness: CD
Ack. I just couldn’t get into this. The vocals are pretty boring and slow and (and I know this makes me look like an idiot) the songs have too many words. Who thinks that punks have attention spans for this stuff? If this were a cereal, it’d be non-frosted Mini Wheats. Soggy! –Maddy (Self-released)

HOGAN’S HEROES:
Self-titled: CD-R
Given the dearth of information with this, I’m not quite sure what their motivations or intentions are, but collected here is the work (three LPs, assorted singles, demo tracks, and unreleased stuff) of a late-‘80s hardcore band best remembered as being part of New Red Archives’ stable of bands. The music is fast’n’furious, pissed off, and holds up consistently well, managing to get the blood pumping just as well as it did a decade and a half ago. Not sure if this is a “press copy” of a soon-to-be-released discography or something, but if so, it might be a good addition to that birthday/Christmas list. –Jimmy Alvarado (no address)

HOGNOSE:
El Sombrero: CD
This started out promising. The first song was kind of a combination of the straight for the throat rock of Nashville Pussy mixed with the pop hook and vocal style of O from Fluf. Interesting for sure, it too bad that everything dissolved into the most boring of stoner rock as soon as the second track started. Too bad indeed. –Ty Stranglehold (Arclight)

HOLD, THE:
Need: 12” EP
This whole punk scene and all the hyped bands is a truly weird thing; not in some important, bestow some grants for sociological research way, but more in a bitter, analytical musing late night conversation level of study. So-called punks are shitting themselves silly over the latest KBD clone, or some band aping the Blitz, but with ten minute jams because they’re somehow pushing the envelope in the minds of a counter culture content to suck up whatever poop is dished to them, all in the name of punk. Well, fuckos, here’s a band that is deserving of one of those wide-eyed “Have you heard...” moments music dinks, such as I, have with my music dink pals. The Hold play quick bursts of hardcore punk that’s loose and erratic without being a complete mess. A bit of legit belligerence in the execution, but none of the affected snot-nosed shit that goes for pennies on the dollar these days. More disturbed and unhinged, really. A steady diet of early L.A. punk mixed up with, say, Born Against, and you’re somewhat there. I can dig it! –Matt Average (MonoRhetorik, monorhetorik@gmail.com)

HOLDING ON:
Just Another Day: CD
There’s something wholesome about no-bullshit, non-metallic, chokehold hardcore. Sharp, powerful breakdowns. Filler-free drumming. This shit’s all filed down to its core and pipebombs out the stereo. Comparisons? I play ‘em right between Crispus Attucks, DS 13 (there’s a wee bit of gnarled melody deep inside), and Negative Approach (where you think the lead singer’s sucking the venom out of his own blood). This shit’s so easy to fuck up. The fact that Holding On make it yet another explosion without it looking like a fifth generation xerox copy of a show that happened two decades ago is impressive. Hard without senseless knuckle dragging or basketball-jersey-wearing floor punchers and tough without the macho pose. It’s also recorded perfectly. The burrs and roughness are intact but the mix remains clear so you can hear the kung-fu from each instrument, if you’re so inclined. Kick your ass good stuff. –Todd Taylor (THD, Havoc, 1 Percent)

HOLDING ON TO SOUND:
Self-titled: CD
This is bad reggae punk that sounds like it was made by really young kids in their first band. Were this the case, I’d cut them a break, but the dudes in the photos look a lot older than that, so no dice. The songs seem interminable even though they aren’t really that long, and the vocalist sometimes sings with fake patois. Skip this one. –Ryan Horky (No label listed)

HOLDING ON TO SOUND:
Songs of Freedom: CD
At first, these guys struck me as being fairly Propaghandi-influenced, since this came off as kind of prog-y and political, but there’s touches of bands like Bridge And Tunnel, or The Exit. It’s pretty cool, though it runs kind of long at times, with songs coming in at over five minutes (which is cool if you’re like, Coltrane, but I get restless when it comes to punk). But, there is a song called “Kurt Russell,” which is pretty rad. –Joe Evans III (Geykido Comet)

HOLDING ON/ COALITION:
Split: 7"
Holding On: Hailing from Minneapolis, modern day hardcore meets straight edge that is equal parts aggression and power. Lyrics of personal insight that makes them pissed. Coalition: Kiss mentioned the city in Detroit Rock City. The White Stripes, these guys are not. Metallic hardcore that is as beefy as the largest sausage in the deli. Lyrics that sounds like they are in the defensive of scene attacks. Great introduction to two bands I personally have never heard of. Great packaging, good music. –Donofthedead (Martyr)

HOLIER THAN THOU:
Self-titled: 7” EP
Harken back to those late ‘80s skate sessions when you’d cut class, get baked in the ditch you skated and ripped to mix tapes on your portable stereo (beat box, okay?!). At least today you don’t have to be seen with your friend in the hot pink Vision Street Wear pants. Holier Than Thou crank retro cross-over in the vein of Attitude Adjustment, RKL, and the sort. Racing tempos, strained vocals, and bad ass time changes that are tighter than hell. Can’t wait for the LP! –Matt Average (Six Weeks)

HOLIER THAN THOU:
Self-titled: 7"EP
Harken back to those late ‘80s skate sessions when you’d cut class, get baked in the ditch you skated and ripped to mix tapes on your portable stereo (beat box, okay?!). At least today you don’t have to be seen with your friend in the hot pink Vision Street Wear pants. Holier Than Thou crank retro cross-over in the vein of Attitude Adjustment, RKL, and the sort. Racing tempos, strained vocals, and bad ass time changes that are tighter than hell. Can’t wait for the LP! –Matt Average (Six Weeks)

HOLLOW GROUND:
Cold Reality: CDEP
Call me old-fashioned, but I like my hardcore without growly metal vocals. Come to think of it, when did hardcore become metal? Guitar: CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA Vocals: GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! Me: YAWN! I think that the “cold reality” that these guys should be screaming about is that they are from Winnipeg, which is regarded as pretty much the coldest city in Canada. “GRRRRRRRRR! FROSTBITE! SNOT FREEZING IN MY NOSE!” It all makes sense now. –Ty Stranglehold (Organized Crime)

HOLLOW POINTS:
Annihilation: CDEP
Very solid debut by these street punks from Seattle. A teaser at only five songs, but more than enough to get your blood pumping. I now find myself waiting impatiently for their full-length due out in February on Disaster. –Toby Tober (Dirtnap)

HOLLOW POINTS:
Annihilation: CD
I don’t get it. Everything about this band screams that I should loathe them. Shades of later Bad Religion abound, they’re sick with pop hooks, and yet I’ve adored them since the first time I heard “POW” on the Dirtnap Across the Northwest comp and I’ve spent the last year trying to figure out why. Aside from the fact that they manage to punch all the right buttons for me, I think what gets me more than anything else is that they sound authentic in ways that even bands like Bad Religion don’t anymore. The lyrics are solid, they sound like they mean it, man, and they play with a level of conviction that’s rare these days. I have little doubt this’ll make a few top ten lists this year, and rightly so. –Jimmy Alvarado (Dirtnap)

HOLLOW POINTS, THE:
The Black Spot: CD
Delivering on the promise of their Dirtnap Across the Northwest appearance and their first EP, the Hollow Points serve up angry, tuneful and—dare I say—political punk rock that comes on like a locomotive and doesn’t let up. The lyrics, while usually quite direct, opt for a decidedly meatier poetic flair than “Bush is a fuckin’ asshole” and address more subjects than America’s global transgressions, although a number of songs here address just that. Musically, this comes on like gangbusters, sorta like the mid-point between the Adolescents, NOFX, and Bad Religion, with loud guitars that manage to “chugga-chugga” without sounding overtly metal, a driving rhythm section, and a few surprises up their sleeves (mandolins?!?) to keep you on yer toes. At a time when American culture is being attacked from within by the very people charged to protect it, it’s nice to hear a band outside of the black-clad and crusty crowd that understands that punk is supposed to stand in direct opposition to the powers that be and has enough righteous anger to come off as sincere when they do so. These new-jacks remain one of my favorite bands currently making the rounds. –Jimmy Alvarado (Disaster)

HOLLOWPOINTS:
Old Haunts on the Horizon: CD
I still buy Vans. There is a Vans outlet in my local mall and every year I suck it up and go in to get a couple of pairs of shoes. The only real decision I have to make is which combination of black, blue, or grey to get. When you are in the Vans store, there is an endless loop of band videos playing on a monitor hanging over your head. The loop alternates between the screaming metal bands with rap or emo choruses and non-descript pop punk bands like The Hollowpoints. These guys are extremely competent. The singer sings well. The riffs are produced. Very professional. Very uninteresting to me. When I was a kid, I hated when old punks dismissed the bands I like, so if this is what the kids are into, then these guys do it well. The songs are at the speed of NOFX without the advanced sense of humor. There is not much there for me. You lousy kids, your music all sounds the same. –Billups Allen (Sailor’s Grave)

HOLLY AND THE NON-ITALIANS:
Self-titled: CD
I will admit that from the hand-drawn cover of this CD (featuring a painting of Emma Goldman) I’d pegged this as folky right away. But the first track kicks in with solid guitars and drums and it knocked me for a bit of a loop. A good loop. And, thankfully, this avoids the dreaded, boring female singer-songwriter curse. As the album goes on, things get a little folkier, but in a catchy, feisty way that I really dig. This album has guts. Surprising and cool. I feel like a preteen girl who just discovered her babysitter playing awesome songs with her friends in her garage. –Jennifer Whiteford (Self-released)

HOLLY TREE:
Anytime, Anywhere: 7"
Brazilian band, transplanted to the LA area, give it their all. The title track is where it’s at. Prototypical Hostage-style OC punk rock. It’s a snotty, swaggery, weird-eyed and knowing smirk of a song with great hooks and my favorite of the three. The second song, “Boom Box,” tips a hat to the Dead Boys, where even though it’s not the fastest track in the land, there’s danger on the edges. The b-side, “Drugstore,” starts off as a surf rocker – with echoes of the Blasters of all things – then leaps onto the concrete, knocks out some teeth, and does a good job of being epic and adventurous (read being over three minutes) without being wanky or pretentious (even though there is a drum solo, it fits). Worth keeping an eye out for. Only 300 made. –Todd Taylor (Headline)

HOLLYWOOD:
Girl?: 7”
It’s not necessary for a label to have similar bands—but it helps when you pick up a record without knowing the band, and it helps that all the bands on Big Neck are pretty great rock’n’roll. Big Neck has releases from The Blowtops, The Mistreaters, and the Baseball Furies: rough and tumble rock. So now you should know if you are gonna be into Hollywood or not. –Speedway Randy (Big Neck)

HOLLYWOOD BLONDES, THE:
Fifteen Minutes of Lame: CDEP
Pretty straight forward Ramones-core pop punk. I can’t say this is the most original stuff I’ve heard, but it’s not bad, and they win points for the song “Tina Is a Headcase.” The only other point I’d mention is that for stuff like this, I’d rather hear more than six songs over the course of fifteen minutes. –Joe Evans III (Self-released)

HOLLYWOOD GODS:
Self-Titled: CD
More of the same-ol’ same-ol’ poppy punk stuff, although in this case they’re more reminiscent of a tamer Operation Ivy (without the ska, thank god) than a tamer Blink-182. –Jimmy Alvarado (hollywoodgods@hotmail.com)

HOLLYWOOD HATE:
self-titled: CD
It’s here. It’s finally fucking here. The first Hollywood Hate full length that’s ready to be rammed down your throat like an oversexed face hugger from Aliens and rip you apart from the inside out. I can’t say how much you need to hear this first disc from what I hope, there will be lots more from one of LA’s finest outfits right this moment. If you have had the fortunate pleasure of catching the Hate live, then you know it’s all gold, here, baby. Punk that’s not afraid to rock without makin’ itself look like an asshole. The good stuff. Tooth-chippin’ music. I can almost picture myself ramming your too-hot-for-words Mom as I listen to songs like “Peacemaker,” “Slow Ride,” and “Kickboy.” If you don’t believe a syllable I’m spraying outta my loud mouth, just grab a listen to what they laid down in the studio here on the CD. Now, if yer a Doubting Thomas, cheap-ass motherfuck, you can also access a coupla tunes on their site, but don’t just be a song-sampling yutz. Experience the full-fledged fuck-upping that is Hollywood Hate. You can thank me later when I’m done with yer MILF of a Mom. –Designated Dale (www.hollywoodhate.com)

HOLLYWOOD HATE:
Product of Our Environment: CD
The word on the street was that these kids had it goin’ on and, wonder of wonders, they do, in fact, got it goin’ on with more to spare. Totally rockin’ without having to resort to some formulaic Detroit cliché, tough enough to share a stage with the hardest of the hardcore, and tight-as-hell playin’, this is destined to make more than a few top ten lists come next January. Next time someone whines that punk rock ain’t as good as it was “back in the day,” plop this puppy in the player and watch their jaw drop. –Jimmy Alvarado (TKO)

HOLOCAUST IN YOUR HEAD / MOTOR BREATH:
Split: LP
Holocaust In Your Head (from Barcelona) crank out some heavy crust with a moderate dose of speed, as well as rock mixed in. They never veer off into blur or incoherent grunting into the mic. Instead, these guys demonstrate their power through well-structured songs that have depth. The vocals, though dry and raspy, carry their message over quite well. They can certainly pummel, but there’s a strong melody here as well. Motor Breath (Sweden) are a bit thrashier and chaotic. Definite Japanese influence, especially in the rhythm section. Starts off pretty good, but soon deteriorates into a redundant mess. If anything, pick this up for the Holocaust In Your Head side. Red vinyl as well. –Matt Average (Trabuc)

HOLOGRAMS, THE:
Night of 1000 Ex-Boyfriends: CD
I loved thrash, death metal, grindcore and the like but I do have a soft spot for all-girl bands! So the mighty Retodd put this puppy in my inbox at Razorcake HQ. After so many years, he knows his contributors well. I’m guessing that this a L.A. based band featuring two Japanese and two Caucasian (one who looks like a young Britney Spears on bass) players. They crank out some great bubblegum pop melodies with a new wave bent. They also add a snottiness and energy of punk’s early years to their songs. Dual vocal duties are handled with dreamy, yet strong, conviction. They lure you in with sweetness and punch you back with a fierce attack. The music has the charm of seeing so many great garage bands that are rarely witnessed by the masses. I hope I have a chance to check them out live someday. –Donofthedead (Teenacide)

HOLOPAW:
Oh, Glory. Oh, Wilderness: LP
Despite the fact that this band has been around for a while, this LP is the first that I had ever heard of them. If their earlier efforts were similar to this one, I’m pretty sure I know why I hadn’t heard of ‘em; they play well-crafted sad bastard music. There’s nothing wrong with that. I like some sad bastard shit, but my inner bastard hasn’t been too sad lately. –Vincent Battilana (Obscurist Press)

HOLY CURSE, THE:
Feed the Dogs: CD
This French band has been rocking for fifteen years—unfortunately it’s cock rock. –Speedway Randy (Turborock, turborockrecords@wanadoo.fr)

HOLY GHOST REVIVAL:
Bleeding Light: CD
Alt-rock from Seattle that falls somewhere between post-Beatles euro-psych and Jethro Tull's fairy-rock-"Death Rydes under the Frozen Moon," "Autumns Children" and "Dance of the Catepillar" are all song titles here. Judging from the upside-down cross thingie in the middle of the booklet and the Crowley quote on their website, I'm figuring they're shooting for some neo-satanic/pagan vibe as well. And I bet they do their part to keep the patchouli industry. Fucking hippies. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.holyghostrevival.com)

HOLY GHOST REVIVAL:
Bleeding Light: CD
My first thought was that this sounds like a mix of the Starvations and Queen. My second thought was also that this sounds like a mix of the Starvations and Queen. And I pretty much only thought about it twice. Pretty mellow, bare-boned roots kind of stuff, but, you know, with those little Brian May guitar parts. Since I love the Starvations and Queen, I actually liked this. I don’t know very many people who would like it, but hey, give it a shot if you want a change of pace. –Josh (Jonny Cat / 17 Television)

HOLY GHOST REVIVAL:
Hot Love in a Berlin Bombshelter: 7”
Sorry, Jethro Tull was never my style. They should’ve sent this to High Times instead. –Megan Pants (Burn Burn Burn)

HOLY GHOST, THE:
Welcome to Ignore Us: CD
Rolling Stone says it “evokes a Tarantino-esque landscape populated by Yakuza and CIA.” I couldn’t agree more if I knew how in the hell that relates to music. Let’s just say I have a strong feeling they’ve got fans who wear ties and have haircuts like Rod Stewart had in the ‘70s. –Megan Pants (Clearly)

HOLY MOLAR:
Self-titled: 7"EP
Here they are, creating a new manifesto for today’s wayward miscreant fucks who should know better than to look to music to speak through, but for some reason never do. Discordant, choppy, and memorable, the Molars charge through six numbers of jailbreak fury steeped in sexual double entendres, profound revelations, and the essential. I’d tell you what other bands these guys are involved in, but you’re listening to the future baby! Get with it! –Matt Average (Youth Attack)

HOLY MOUNTAIN:
Enemies: CD
I hear Kylesa, His Hero Is Gone, Severed Head Of State, Damad, Artimus Pyle, and others. An attack to the aural senses. The band unleashes a disturbing mass of aggressive power. I would be hard struck to see if anyone who enjoys any type of heavy music not be moved by this band. They are owners of their craft and perform it with expertise. The vocals are guttural, but phonetic enough that actual words can be heard. They are executed with an emotion of pure anger. The lyrics are intelligent and very thought provoking. –Donofthedead (No Idea)

HOLY MOUNTAIN:
Enemies: CDEP
I hear Kylesa, His Hero Is Gone, Severed Head Of State, Damad, Artimus Pyle, and others. An attack to the aural senses. The band unleashes a disturbing mass of aggressive power. I would be hard struck to see if anyone who enjoys any type of heavy music not be moved by this band. They are owners of their craft and perform it with expertise. The vocals are guttural, but phonetic enough that actual words can be heard. They are executed with an emotion of pure anger. The lyrics are intelligent and very thought provoking. –Donofthedead (No Idea)

HOLY MOUNTAIN:
Your Face In Decline: 7"
Loud, disjointed rhythms to keep things interesting, one pissed off singer... this is some pretty good hardcore. –Jimmy Alvarado (No Idea)

HOLY MOUNTAIN, THE:
Bloodstains Across Your Face in Decline...: CD
This is one of the dudes from Combatwoundedveteran, who I always liked but they seemed to kinda pigeonhole themselves. This new band is way more diverse. It's great hardcore that draws from a lot of stuff: there's some d-beat, some thrash, some gnarly blastbeats and even a little bit of dark melody to it. Their cover of Crass' "Big Hands" is really good. They do an excellent job of capturing the feel of what made the original good, and then take it up a notch to fit well with the rest of the songs on the record. If you're into stuff like the Sainte Catharines, you'll dig the Holy Mountain. I wish No Idea would put out more records like this. –Ben Snakepit (No Idea)

HOLY MOUNTAIN, THE:
Wrath and Entrails: 7" EP and LP

Wrath 7”: In this day and age of Cookie Monster and Yosemite Sam vocalists, bands rockin’ blast beats and others slapping it more mid-paced silky, it’s really essential that the speed of the record is noted somewhere on the paper label in the middle of the vinyl (or at least the packaging). I’m betting on 45, but can’t be totally sure. At that speed, it sounds like Henry Rollins’ pre-Black Flag band, SOA: pretty much all speed, not a lot of melody, more of like listening to machine gun fire, but somehow catchy. If it’s 33, these dudes really like Tragedy: doomy and crust-laden, hidden-chord hardcore. Fuck if I know which it is. Entrails: Uhm, yeah. I was wrong about the speed of the 7”. It was 33. These guys are in the bombed-out cathedral of From Ashes Rise, Tragedy, and Born Dead Icons. If you ever wished Lemmy of Motörhead was in a punk band and love the sonic equivalent of being half-buried in a graveyard, trying to scratch out of the soil while bombs are dropping all around, these dudes fit the bill. I’m pre-conditioned to like this stuff (it’s tremendous for drives through gentrified neighborhoods, pretending houses are being firebombed and the music bubble is magically protecting you) and they do a fine job at capturing the mood and power.

–Todd Taylor (No Idea)

HOLY MOUNTAIN, THE:
Entrails: CD
This band plays some serious hardcore shit. From the second the CD begins, it is unbelievably fast-paced beats and gritty, with snotty, screaming vocals. This band is not messing around. I am not a hardcore fan, so this is definitely not my CD, but any real fan of hardcore will enjoy this. Though, I do appreciate some of the album art: specifically the reconfiguration of the image of the Virgin of Guadalupe as a bird in her cloak with bullets lined as her glow. –Jenny Moncayo (No Idea)

HOLY ROLEMODEL:
The Sum of Our Parts: CD
From what I can tell, this band has gone through a major line-up change, as this record had two female players on it. Looks like they didn’t make it into 2008. But this platter has some choice cuts on it: “Blister,” “Believe,” and “Skulls” are pretty tight. This comes across as some weird concoction of Social Distortion and Mary’s Danish (just the female singers) getting it on in the back of a Chevy conversion van. –Sean Koepenick (Self-released)

HOLY SHIT:
Jazz Phaze: 7” EP
Real solid, smartly aggressive, fuck-with-you hardcore that’s channeling the spirit of Flipper and Saccharine Trust (make your audience pay—and not monetarily—for showing up), laid down and stretched apart on the rack of the Minutemen (they’re intricate and driving when they choose), which puts them in contemporary league with the AbiYoyos and 400 Blows. Intentionally disjointed but held together by fuzz, herky jerkiness, and screaming that sounds like the vocalists are coughing up sweater-sized balls of fur. Not every day listening, but well pulled off. –Todd Taylor (Trigger-on-the-dutendoo)

HOLY SHIT / TURD HUNGRY CHRIST:
You Are What You Eat: Split 7” EP
Holy Shit: Spastic hardcore in the tradition of Siege and Charles Bronson. Holy shit, indeed. Turd Hungry Christ: A bit slower, but no less frantic in their delivery. Good stuff all around. –Jimmy Alvarado (Scattered, Smothered and Covered)

HOLY SHIT!:
What the Fuck?: 7"
This is easily the closest modern approximation to Deep Wound’s 7-incher I’ve heard to date. You get oodles of spastic, sloppy hardcore here, served up with flailing tempo changes and ADD-friendly song lengths. Mike Thrashead would piss his pants over this. –Jimmy Alvarado (Contaminated)

HOLY SHIT!:
What the Fuck?: 7” EP
Ass my dick etc. What it reminds me of is an old band by the name of Killing Children from Ohio or somewhere. If this record would’ve come out in 1984 like that one, it’d be kicking ass on eBay right now. As it stands, well, that might not ever happen, but it’s a nice little blast of Midwest (Milwaukee – the city that Schlitz made famous) hardcore that’s like chicken croquettes going into your ears. You can buy it for $4 ppd. –Cuss Baxter (Holy Shit!)

HOLY SHIT!:
Jazz Phase: 7”
Early F.Y.P. meets early Die Kreuzen sez my friend who knows these things. But really, they don’t sound like anyone. They’re that crazy, fast, and awesome. Ten songs on one 7”! And they’re from Milwaukee (my hometown)! Holy Shit! is 0 percent metal and 100 percent hardcore goodness! I like ‘em, and the most common hardcore (?) record on my turntable is 7 Seconds. (In other words, I’m such a girl.) If this were a cereal, it’d be Rice Krispie Treats. Crazy concept, but it totally works! –Maddy (Trigger On The Dutendoo)

HOLY SHIT!:
Self-titled: LP
Wanna make a pact? Just you and me. Let’s all disregard that twenty or so years after Agnostic Front released Cause for Alarm, in 1986—all the way through what Victory Records commandeered through the ‘90s and morphed into karate chops, questionable metal, and dance moves that required starting phantom lawn mowers—and do some reclamation of the word “hardcore.” It’s confusing those of us who don’t want to be in tough-dude gangs but like cantankerous and fast music that’s the musical equivalent of watching a brain tumor grow in fast forward. The only muscles I want to see “flexed” during my hardcore experiences are throats and brains and whatever ligaments are attached to the occasional funny bone. High fives to Holy Shit! for keeping the much-more-enduring spirit of Necros, Angry Samoans, Void, and Die Kreuzen alive. Nice. –Todd Taylor (Criminal IQ)

HOLY SHIT! / TURD HUNGRY CHRIST:
You Are what You Eat: Split 7”
This is a split 7”. Holy Shit! is from Milwaukee. Turd Hungry Christ is from Chattanooga, TN, and has members of Spawn Sacs, Future Virgins, Jack Palance Band, and ADD/C. For a band with members of Future Virgins and Jack Palance Band, it has got a lot less pop to it than I expected. It’s screamy with garage rock influences. You can tell that it’s funny dudes though if you look at the artwork and insert. I like the lyrics to Holy Shit! in particular: “We’re poor, fuck you.” Mmmmm, I like it. Probably ‘cause I can relate. –Corinne –Guest Contributor (Scattered, Smothered and Covered)

HOMBRINUS DUDES:
Politi-Kill: CD
I’m more of a let’s go-see-a-grind-band than let’s-go-listen-to-grind kind of guy. But I do buy it from time to time and do listen to it on occasion. Here is band I definitely would check out at a show. Two-man band. I dig that. They play fast. Check. But wait, their lyrics are thought provoking and political. Big plus. Reminiscent of early Napalm Death and Terrorizer. Cool in my book. A thinking man’s grindcore puts this band a level above the imitators. –Donofthedead (Punks Before Profits)

HOMBRINUS DUDES / LOADED FOR BEAR:
Split: CD in a DVD case
Four songs by each cookie monster band. Sounds accomplished… tight… not new but probably rad live at the big gorefest. –Speedway Randy (Blood Money)

HOMBRINUS DUDES/ LOADED FOR BEAR:
Split: 7”

I’m really not a fan of that crazy, wall o’ death growly (grind? crust? who cares?) stuff, so I guess this might be a short review. My first tip off is the Hombrinus Dudes’ logo. It’s all barbed and all over the place and you can’t really read it. I find that in most of my experience, bands with logos like that play tunes that I don’t like. Yep, I was right.

Loaded for Bear were already ahead in my books since I could read who they were. They also had funnier song titles (“The Jack Lord Fan Club” and “Machine Powered Orgasms”). They had more song structure and less growl, but at the end of the day, I’m still not a fan. –Ty Stranglehold (no address)

HOME AND GARDEN:
History and Geography: CD
Home and Garden’s History and Geography is an obscure gem; this underappreciated early ‘80s Cleveland-based act deserved more. Probably best known for having Pere Ubu’s Dub Housing rhythm section, Home and Garden imploded just after its inception (apparently lasting only three shows). Obviously, the rhythm section is fucking amazing; this is probably Maimone and Kraus at their most primal. Vocalist/ lyricist Jeff Morrison is surprisingly poetic (I mean this band’s from Cleveland. Two strong lyricists—David Thomas and Peter Laughner—coming from a town best known for steel production and flammable rivers boggles the mind. Three seems impossible.) Anyway, yeah, Morrison spits out these brilliant existentialist, dada-influenced lines fans of LiLiput, Jean Paul-Sartre, and Pere Ubu will love. The Roxy Music influence is charming—Eno synth pervades (or should I say Allen Ravenstine?)—and Morrison sounds like a less melodramatic Bryan Ferry. Easily as rewarding as Savage Republic and 100 Flowers at their best, History and Geography is one of the few records I wholeheartedly endorse. Stuff it up your ass, Christgau. LEACH CONSUMER GUIDE RATING: A+ –Ryan Leach (Exit Stencil, exitstencilrecordings.com)

HOMEMADE KNIVES:
No One Doubts the Darkness: CD
Art school dinner party music. I highly doubt that this dinner party would have a theme. Foucault would be discussed incorrectly alongside existentialism. Lots of skirts with fall boots would be sported. A turtleneck or two would complete the scene. The appetizers would probably involve crackers and no more than one person involved would get laid that night. –Megan Pants (Triple Stamp)

HOMICIDE / MC HOMELESS:
Split: LP
Homicide: This is officially the first Indonesian hip hop I’ve ever heard. Both the music and the political leanings owe a little to their interest in punk rock. Not bad. MC Homeless: There’s more than a little punk influence here as well—even gives propers to Poison Idea for “kicking ass”—but the sound on this Ohioan’s side is more laid back and “traditional” hip hop, for lack of a better description. The beats are a wee bit sluggish, but on the whole he’s not too bad a rapper, and of course having guests like Riddlore doesn’t exactly hurt. –Jimmy Alvarado (wwwdiseasedrecords.com)

HOMICIDES, THE:
Black Leather Redneck: 12” EP
When a band has a song called “I Fuck Girls Too Young for Me,” they have my undivided attention. And it’s even better when their music can back up subject matter like that. Not some pussy pose or some affected snot-nosed bullshit, The Homicides are knuckles dragging across the ground punk rock that isn’t afraid of upsetting anyone. I imagine they revel in it. I hope they do, at least. I love punk most when it’s not looking to make friends with everyone. Loud, brash and uglier than that hag you took home last night when the house lights came on at the bar. At least here, you have no regrets the next day. They cover the Fuck Ups (SF) “I Think Your Shit” quite well, and that should be an indicator where these miscreants are coming from. –Matt Average (Vertex Audio, vertexaudio@gmail.com)

HOMO2:
Gaynesville, Florida: CD
I think if they played a living room dance party, I’d have a good time, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to see them. –Megan Pants (Homo Say What, no address given)

HOMOSTUPIDS:
The Glow: 7” EP
Deranged, spitty, and lo-fi, they bring to mind a meaner Reatards or a garage-damaged Negative Approach. (Or, if this helps you: The Dirtys.) Broken knife, dirty needle, rusty chains, in-the-basement punk rock. Comes in a simple white paper sleeve with a picture that looks like a Vietnam veteran-era tattoo of a skull with a lightning bolt through it. Well done. –Todd Taylor (My Mind’s Eye)

HOMOSTUPIDS:
The Glow: 7”
Oh hell. You keep thinking it can’t get scummier. The gutter has a bottom. Then filthy, smelly humans like Jeffrey Novak or The Fatals come along. And now Homostupid is taking music to Neanderthal levels. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t dicking around or making noise, this is screaming and fast gnarly Black Flagy guitar, fukkin controlled chaos and proud of it - you can even tell all the songs apart. I just saw a Nova episode showing that man and caveman lived alongside each other as very different species. This is us and Homostupid. Fucking hunting the same animals but cavemen were much more successful in the forests, in tight spaces. Scary spaces. Big ass forehead, yeah, but smart, man, smart. Homostupid is the next fukked up thing. –Speedway Randy (My Mind’s Eye Records, mymindseyerecords.com)

HOMOSTUPIDS:
The Intern: CD
I have been looking for that virgin feeling of hearing punk rock and hardcore for the first time. Being so pissed off and pent up at jocks and school and finally hearing raw guitar and drums, with some dude screaming lyrics of how I felt. Or at least screaming, so it felt right. Got that feeling back some from the Regulations and the Fatals, and now Homostupids is ripping it up for me. Pissed screaming, desperate guitars, song titles like “Dicksting” and “Apeshit,” this band is ready to rumble. A few songs off their previous two, brutal 7”s, but mostly new songs and actually recorded pretty good, assuming they are in a cement bunker nowhere in Ohio. Get this and remember what the fuck you got into punk for in the first place. –Speedway Randy (Parts Unknown)

HOMOSTUPIDS:
Cat Music: 7"
I can’t get enough of bands that somehow rip total noise and amp destruction—yet creep a song inside it. The Homostupids can keep it simple but interesting, punishing with a catch. They are basically hardcore with the screaming and pushing the feedback thunder, but I’ve never been bored with their songs. You’d think they were half-assed with the scribbled covers (look across the 45s, their name is always slapped on by hand but not copied and pasted) but it’s just something to hold the music in. With two of the three songs close to two minutes each, this is epic, even with a moment of a horn section playing one of their older tracks, “Sixths.” They always add in weird shit that makes sense to them. Get it now. –Speedway Randy (Fashionable Idiots)

HOMOSTUPIDS:
Cat Music: 7”EP
Mysterious. I can’t quite get a reading on the Homostupids beyond: 1) I like them. 2) They (sorta) remind me of The Feelers’ take on music, disregarding any imagined division line between hardcore and garage rock. But then add cryptic lyrics, cat noise intros, horn instrument out-tros. 3) The mastering job sounds a lot like Supercharger’s Go Way Out! (meaning that it sounds like it was recorded in someone’s kitchen and adjacent hall), yet it—again, mysteriously—works and works well. –Todd Taylor (Fashionable Idiots)

HOMOSTUPIDS:
Self-titled: LP
This emerges somewhere between the Spits and the Tyrades, and those familiar with what’s lurking beneath those rocks—the dark digestion, the cool heat, the wiggling obscured from far above—may say, “That sounds incompatible.” The Spits and the Tyrades both employ the tactic of “Music as fight,” and the Homostupids take angular, bent wires of songs, like a hand-unwound coat hanger, and then they mercilessly beat the listener about the neck, shoulders, face, and delicates. It’s a type of garage rock that comes with its own set of weapons and this record’s an unrelenting, solid mass. Bathe it in blood and score it as another target hit by the ‘Stupids. –Todd Taylor (My Mind’s Eye)

HOMOSTUPIDS:
Night Deacon E.P.: 7”
Like a Supercharger with slightly artier tendencies or a sparser Baseball Furies, Homostupids keep it together by falling apart. Having seen more than my fair share of absolute messes of bands, it’s a difficult feat to be this simple and shambolic without the music roiling into an unlistenable turd. If broken is the new fixed or if there was ever an anti-douche inoculation shot to get before setting foot into Guitar Center… go, Homostupids! –Todd Taylor (Fashionable Idiots)

HONOR SYSTEM, THE:
Rise and Run: CD
A mixture of college rock and emo that turned me off like smelling my own diarrhea. –Donofthedead (Grey Flight)

HONOR SYSTEM, THE:
100% Synthetic: CD
I was about to start liking this, but it just had too much of an emo feel for me. Back into the case it goes. –Donofthedead (Double Zero)

HOODS UP:
Arms Still Open: CD
Formulaic youth crew (“Pounding, high-energy straight edge hardcore with all the classic elements: singalongs, breakdowns, fast parts, and positive and outspoken lyrics…” that’s what it actually said in the press release). So, yeah, they know the formula, but they know it really well and seem to really enjoy playing the kind of music they love and singing songs about things they really care about. And whether I find this music inspiring or not—and at times I do—from what I can tell from the lyrics and song explanations, these Germans are really caring and down-to-earth people. And that makes this generic hardcore more fun to listen to. –Daryl Gussin (Refuse)

HOODS UP 495:
Shoot Nazis, Not Dope: CDEP
The cover describes them as “Circle Pit Hip Hop Straight Outta Moscow.” I think that pretty much covers the bases. I really appreciate that they’re apparently politically aware, but musically this didn’t even make for interesting background music. –Jimmy Alvarado (Daddydamage@gmail.com)

HOODS UP 495:
Dropin’ Many Putins: CD
I really want to like these guys, and I really, really tried. Politically, their hearts are in the right place and their skills as rappers are not terrible, which is sayin’ a lot considering we’re talking about Russian nationals here. Their efforts to mix punk and hip hop, however, manage to suck out what is compelling about both of those genres, leaving what is essentially ho-hum music that really doesn’t move past the “background music” category, provided that there is absolutely nothing else to play in the background in its stead. Sorry, but it just ain’t cuttin’ it, especially when you misspell “Droppin’” on your cover. –Jimmy Alvarado (daddydamage@gmail.com)

HOOKER SPIT WINDEX:
Barf to Death Grind: Cassette
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ll listen to a band with a horribly terrible name; that’s not a problem. I even have a fun time telling people that they should check out some band with a dumbass name, but I always tell them not to think about the band’s name when I do it. Still, this band has one of the worst names I’ve ever heard. Not judging the tape by its cover, this is guttural-vocaled grind shit. Sure, there are some higher-pitched vocals, but too much is coming from just north of the bowels for my taste. The instrumentation isn’t the worst thing ever, but, on a whole, all this makes me do is get out of my seat to turn it off. –Vincent Battilana (Self-released, hookerspitwindex@yahoo.com)

HOOKS & THE DAGGERS:
This is Ballroom Thrash: CD
This album showcases what is good with music, punk, and sarcasm. This album has some of the best song titles, lyrics, and wittiness around. The album starts out with “Fuck You Punk this Is Ballroom Thrash,” which blatantly proclaims their hate for publicists, the music industry, and generic fashion. Other cleverness that I applaud, is “It’s 9:11, Do You Know Where Your Rights Are?”, “Self-Proclaimed Anarchists Are Usually Just Douche Bags” (and I can’t help but love when people are referred to as douche bags), “The Rain on My Car Is a Baptism,” “Sterilized (I Think You Should Be)”—which has amazing schizophrenic yet harmonized vocals on the chorus—and “Botox Disaster (Another Dead Yuppie).” And the lyrics are just as good as the song titles. The music reminds me of a severely sped up Soviettes with a dude singing but hitting some charming high notes. –Jenny Moncayo (Moodkiller)

HOOPLES, THE:
Live at Maguire’s Hill 16: CDEP
What the hell? I know that one of the great things about modern technology is that it has made DIY all the easier, but still… you could at least hand-paint some sort of art in your packaging rather than writing the band’s name and title on a burned CD with a magic marker… All that aside, for a live recording, it sounds pretty good (another neat improvement that technology has given us). The songs are sort of good and sort of not, though. At a technical level, there appears to be nothing wrong with them—mid-tempo punk’n’roll that isn’t flashy but relies on a common repertoire of riffs and hooks. The record did have my toes tapping at times, but overall the proper word to describe this record is “workmanlike.” –The Lord Kveldulfr (Burn These)

HOOSEGOW, THE:
The Last Buffet: CD
What we have here is skate rock in the purest sense (Drunk Injun vocals, thick Faction-style gee-tars, rat-a-tat drumming). And they cover the Smut Peddlers and the Bad Brains. Great stuff. –Greg Barbara (www.thehoosegow.com)

HOOSEGOW, THE:
Three Rules: CD
One of Razorcake’s very own contributors, Ty Stranglehold, goes back to the early 80s and puts together a drunken group of misfits to bring back skate rock. Song about skating and more skating and skateboarders. A JFA cover too, just to keep things on point. File between your Thrasher comps and the Big Boys. –Donofthedead (The Hoosegow, www.thehoosegow.com)

HOOTON 3 CAR:
1994-1998 Recordings: 2xCD
Man! Where was I when this band was around? This release has forty-six songs! They were only together for four years? I think I had a split of theirs a few years ago. I don’t know what I did with it. This compiles a 12", three albums, four 7"’s and tracks off of three splits. Whew. That’s a lot of work for that short period of time. I guess they never made to the states but had a following in Japan as well as locally in the UK. Well, let’s start like I have never heard this band before. Actually that’s part true since I didn’t remember what they sounded like. To me, the band sound is reminiscent to the early Goo Goo Dolls when they were punk and the Replacements mixed with some Squeeze and a little XTC to add some flavor. It reminds me of some of the music I was listening to during the late ‘80s to early ‘90s. I can’t take the pop out of this punk. The melodies are dead on, the guitars drive things forward, and the musicianship is spectacular. Definitely a release that will return to the CD player for a listen. I like it when a discography catches me up to something that I might have missed. –Donofthedead (Crackle)

HOOVES NOT HANDS:
Swollen: CD
Heavy AmRep influence here, meaning you get loud noise rock with odd tempo shifts and such from a band that seems insistent on wedging themselves into that nook between the Cows and Unsane. Was initially put off a little by the derivativeness of the whole endeavor, but by track seven, “Septic Breath,” they’d won me over with all the smash-bang chaotic noise mongering. The cute teddy bear on the cover definitely sealed the deal. –Jimmy Alvarado (Amplified Noise, no address)

HOPE CONSPIRACY, THE:
Coldblue: CD
More screechy, noisy metal from a group that probably aligns themselves with "hardcore." They bored me out of my skull. The singer's voice was pretty cool, though. –Jimmy Alvarado (Equal Vision, PO Box 14, Hudson, NY 12534)

HOPE YOU CHOKE:
Self-titled: CD
No surprises here. Straight-up crossover hardcore that tends to lean a little on to the metal side of things, but not in a wanky kind of way. I guess the killer cover art depicting maggot-ridden zombie soldiers on the march could have given it away. I am most impressed with the vocals. This type of music can lead a singer to go with either the high pitched metal whine, or the guttural cookie monster growl. The singer for Hope You Choke chose neither, opting for the angry yet clear hardcore voice with plenty of gang vocals. Agnostic Front comes to mind. This is a must for fans of early-mid era Suicidal Tendencies and DRI. –Ty Stranglehold (One Percent)

HOPE YOU CHOKE:
Self-Titled: CD
No surprises here. Straight-up crossover hardcore that tends to lean a little on to the metal side of things, but not in a wanky kind of way. I guess the killer cover art depicting maggot-ridden zombie soldiers on the march could have given it away. I am most impressed with the vocals. This type of music can lead a singer to go with either the high pitched metal whine, or the guttural cookie monster growl. The singer for Hope You Choke chose neither, opting for the angry yet clear hardcore voice with plenty of gang vocals. Agnostic Front comes to mind. This is a must for fans of early-mid era Suicidal Tendencies and DRI. –Ty Stranglehold (One Percent)

HOPELESS DREGS OF HUMANITY:
Rock Revolutionary Apocalypse: CD
Ain’t too hip on the rockin’ circa-'80s-Berkeley punk sound of this, but the lyrics are pretty witty and well written. Liked it for that reason alone. –Jimmy Alvarado (Ever Reviled)

HORACE PINKER:
Texas One Ten: CD
Sigh. I really wanted to like this. Horace Pinker has been around for a long time, always keeping it real, helping out other bands coming through their town, a real nice bunch of guys, seriously. But this record is just bad. I hate to say it but it's true. Ultra-sugary, slick-produced pop-emo that would probably appeal to fans of the Weakerthans or something. I just can't get into it. I know that these dudes are totally old school and legit, but sometimes that just ain't enough. –Ben Snakepit (Thick)

HORDE, THE:
Join or Die: CD
The recent couple of years of hardcore have raised the waterline. The landscape’s been reshaped, expanded, and redefined, like a river backed up by a dam. Bands like Fucked Up, Career Suicide, Out Cold, Cut the Shit, DS-13, Tragedy, From Ashes Rise, and La Faction, I believe, have dealt out hands that equal the best from the early ‘80s. The Horde are good, not great. Take early Sick of It All, a less frenetic Force, and, especially, Death By Stereo’s first record, and they’re in that camp. Borderline metallic, tough guy/positive force hardcore that’s not shameful, not without merit, but not entirely memorable or distinct in its own right. –Todd Taylor (1-2-3-4 Go!)

HORDE, THE:
Self-titled:: 7” EP
They remind me of the Cro-Mags and that, my dear friends, is not a compliment –Jimmy Alvarado (www.1234gorecords.com)

HOREHOUNDS:
No Time for You: LP
These guys are up to their eyeballs in Dolls influence and sex obsession, but they rock the fuck outta punk rock’n’roll template. This one’s a keeper. –Jimmy Alvarado (Rockin’ Bones)

HOREHOUNDS, THE:
Rock Out with the Horehounds: CD
The occasional bits and pieces that scream CRAZY STEVIE BAISE! CRAZY STEVIE BAISE! (a la “Rocknroll Tonight”) might indeed take the some of the edge off your D. Dogs/V. Kings jones for a while, but on the whole it sounds like a pretty non-stupendous, occasionally faltering mish-mosh of the Candy Snatchers, Nobodys, and Loose Lips, and if you quantitatively measured how much worse the Devil Dogs’ Stereodrive! CD sounded than the Choad Blast! EP, and then subtracted that scalar value from Stereodrive!, that’s pretty much how it sounds, sonically, maybe. Contains a really stupid song about America imaginatively titled “Love It Or Leave It,” which, for most Americans, is not a viable option so long as a 40 oz. bottle of Black Label costs $4.49 in Canada. BEST SONG: “Rocknroll Tonight” BEST SONG TITLE: “The Ex-Sex Thing (Is The Next Best Thing)” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Contains a song called “The End of the Ramones” which is NOT the Mr. T Experience song (ironic because Colorado’s La-Donnas once released a modified version of that song titled “End of the Devil Dogs”). Lame. –Rev. Norb (Wankin’ Stiphs)

HORNY MORMONS:
Play Goat-Ropin’, Corn-Huskin’, Chicken-Molestin’, Cow-Tippin’, ‘n’ Other Fine D: CD
Looks like entire recorded history of the band plus twenty-eight live tunes. Lesser Dead Milkmen that’s pretty painless. –Speedway Randy (Sacramento)

HORNY VAMPYRE:
Self-titled: 10”
This sounds like it was made for kindergarteners on ecstasy. Casio sounds + drum machine dance beats + two annoying vocalists = Horny Vampyre. Borrowing from Dr. Zoidberg, “The music is bad, and you should feel bad.” –Vincent Battilana (Hidden Apparatus)

HORRIBLE ODDS, THE:
Underground: LP
You’ve got three of the Jack Palance Band with Iggy Scam on drums for a flash-in-the-pan Chattanooga band from 2002 that sounds like anything but. Tightly wound, desperate yet hopeful. Unmarked graves next to feelings of invincibility. Estranged but warm. Looking at rivers of piss, yet still throwing coins in and making a wish. Eric Nelson sounds like a drill sergeant and the entire band sounds like they’re operating eight limbs from the exact same brain. They’ve got that almost untraceable, magical quality that attaches bands like the Bananas, The Riverboat Gamblers, The Tim Version, and Tiltwheel to some unseen, unknown wellspring. No, those bands sound nothing alike, but if you like one, the odds are that you’ll like the others. It’s the spirit’s what I’m talking about. Basement and back yard shows. Duct tape and cheap beer economics rarely sounds this great. A DIY punk checkmate. –Todd Taylor (Onion Flavored)

HORRIBLE ODDS, THE:
Underground: LP
Straight ahead gearhead rock for fans of that. Not enough for me to drive fast to. –Speedway Randy (Onion Flavored Records)

HORRIBLY WRONG, THE:
C’mon and Bleed with the Horribly Wrong: LP
Fucking awesome. The Horribly Wrong play dirty, trashy, sloppy, beer-spilling, blood-soaked rock’n’roll in the tradition of the Invisible Men or the Mummies. About as lousily perfect as you can get. An excellent soundtrack for the Keg Party of Doom and its requisite reckless abandonment. This record is about as low-fi as they come, and it drips with rock’n’roll sincerity as a result. If you’re into this sound, this one should not be missed; may the fleas of 10,000 camels infest your armpits if you do. And it’s on 180-gram vinyl! You can emotionally and physically maim people with this record! And there’s a free digital download card included (at least in the copy I was sent), so failure to own a turntable is not a viable excuse for not adding this record to your weekend drinking plans. –The Lord Kveldulfr (Eradicator / Shit In Can)

HORROR OF ‘59:
The Golden Age of Sin: CD
Kitchen sink bands can (and usually do) really suck, but this mix of punk, metal, and rockabilly is surprisingly listenable. The vocals feature a snarl that gets a little old on some of the songs, but this horror punk outfit from Cleveland is surprisingly fun given its hodgepodge of musical stylings. The lyrics are good cheesy fun, celebrating all things horror. There are some great sing-a-long choruses to go around, too. All in all, this CD doesn’t live up to its beautiful monster art packaging, but it has its moments. –Art Ettinger (Shark Attack, www.sharkattackrecords.com)

HORROR POPS:
Bring It On!: CD
I vaguely remember reviewing their last release and possibly not liking it. I could be wrong. I have reviewed so much stuff over the years, I can’t keep track of what I reviewed last issue. If I didn’t like the last one, I like this one. I know right away if I like a psychobilly release. If something sounds weird to me, like the way an acoustic bass is recorded, I over-focus on that and it drives me absolutely nuts. This one is recorded right and the bass doesn’t sound like someone is plucking at rubber bands. Right off the bat, I really dug the title song. Many of the tracks reminded of Siouxsie and the Banshees. I like that a lot of the songs veer away from the standard pychobilly mold, like the track “Me vs. You,” which is more of a straight-up rocker nuanced by the acoustic bass and the military drum roll style of the drummer. People outside of the psychobilly scene are really going to take notice of this one. –Donofthedead (Hellcat)

HORROR POPS:
Hell Yeah: CD
This sucks in ways I can’t even begin to get into. Suffice it to say that this is the psychobilly equivalent of the kiddie-punk swill you hear on the radio, with a dash of ska thrown in to make it all the more accessible. About as threatening and edgy as a No Doubt record. –Jimmy Alvarado (Hellcat)

HORROR, THE:
The Fear, the Terror, the Horror: CD
This post-Voorhees thrash monster again delivers the goods, with eighteen tracks racing by in just under twenty-two minutes like the Energizer Bunny hyped up on cocaine and meth. Although the hyperspeed stuff inflicts some serious damage, the full-on piledriver knockout moves come when they ease up on the velocity a bit, move into slow burn, and just pummel the senses, like on “Coal Not Dole.” The Thatcher and Reagan references are a bit dated, especially seeing this stuff is brand spankin’ new, but on the whole they got it goin’ on, baby doll. –Jimmy Alvarado (Chain Saw Safety)

HORROR, THE:
First Blood Parts I & II: CD-R
I like it when I’m not expecting something. Like this release, I got an ass kicking while I was not looking. Consisting of former members of the Voorhees from the UK, they take the short, fast and loud route and pummel through twenty-eight songs. Done well, this style is extremely entertaining and is a great outlet. Fans of DS-13, their former band the Voorhees, or Amdi Petersens Arme will be won over by this band. Now I have to go out and get the actual release and hope I haven’t missed them live. –Donofthedead (Chainsaw Safety)

HORROR, THE:
First Blood: CDEP
Hyper-speed English hardcore courtesy of most of what were the Voorhees and a new singer. Vicious in sound and attack, as it should be. This copy of the disc’s gonna get worn out soon. –Jimmy Alvarado (Chainsawsafety)

HORRORS, THE:
Vent: CD
More bluesy rock from In The Red, this lot being a grungy and bombastic ride through the noisier side of the garage rock of the ‘60s, with shades of the Stones, the Gun Club and the Gossip (though not augmented with that lady’s ferocious growl or almost-glimpsed boobies), and one of the guys is named Greg Cartwright. What the hell kind of name is that? –Cuss Baxter (In The Red)

HOSPITAL GRADE:
Secrets & Sawdust: CD
Interesting bit of work here: dissonant guitar playin’ reminiscent of mid-‘80s college rock stuff mixed in with enough rock and pop influences for them to give the tunes both a heavier edge and some effective hooks. Any occasional nods towards emo yuckiness are tempered by sharp left turns you didn’t see coming. While I can’t say I’d listen to this more than two or three times, I give them their due propers for puttin’ in some obvious effort to separate themselves a bit from the herd. Keeps you on your toes, this does, and that is never, ever, a bad thing. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.bbqrecords.net)

HOSPITALS, THE:
Self-titled: CD
Finally! Someone jammed Doo Rag’s blues rock plug into Pussy Galore’s noise socket and it lights shit up like one of those fireworks accidents where everything blows up at once on the ground and the guy’s arm flies off and you’re sitting in the stands with a Bomb Pop in your mouth and everyone starts screaming and the guy behind you kicks your neck. The riff on “Friends” alone just beats me to death every time, and it only goes for like twenty seconds and it makes me feel the way I imagine it would have felt to have heard Led Zep or AC/DC for the first time when they were fresh, or, for that matter, the way I did feel when I first heard Black Flag (which, incidentally, I keep reading references to in others’ Hospitals reviews and I don’t hear it, musically, but the punch is there) or, unavoidably, Pussy Galore. Raw (I mean seriously raw), almost sub-rock, bashing gets hurled in all directions by two guys with a few drums and a guitar (and at least one Suicide record, whose “Rock and Roll is Killing My Life” is here) and if ever a record deserved the mantle “in the red”, this is it. –Cuss Baxter (In The Red)

HOSTAGE CALM:
Demo: 7”
Pretty good Silent Majority or Kid Dynamite-style melodic hardcore. There seem to be a pile of bands doing this right now, so it’s not exactly a mindblow, but these dudes do it rather well. –Dave Williams (Headcount, headcountrecords.com)

HOSTAGE LIFE:
White Jesus: CDEP
Big-budget street punk along the same lines as Street Dogs or the less-corny, less-Irish Dropkick Murphys tracks. Luckily, Hostage Life forgoes the typical lyrical content of the aforementioned bands and their contemporaries in favor of intelligent socio-political commentary with an earnest, personal slant. There’s even a Wire cover tacked on the end of this that leans the record in an even more thought-provoking direction—certainly a rarity within the genre. This is the first release on the Ontario-based Black Pint Records label, and if the quality of the songs, production, and packaging found here is indicative of their game plan, I’ll be sure to keep my eye out for upcoming releases. –Dave Williams –Guest Contributor (Black Pint, www.myspace.com/blackpintrecords)

HOSTAGE LIFE / KNUCKLEHEAD:
Split: 7”
Longshot Records continues to impress with another hearty entry in their split series. Showcasing two Canadian streetpunk bands from opposite coasts, this release brings together Western Canada’s Knucklehead with Ontario’s Hostage Life. As is bound to happen with splits from time to time, one side is way stronger than the other. Although Hostage Life is nothing to frown upon, The Knucklehead track side is an instant classic. It’s like sharing a pizza with someone who ordered something you like, but don’t love on their half. You can still share it, even though you’d rather have hot peppers on the whole pie. Knucklehead is super fucking melodic and danceable, reminiscent of Reducers SF. Hostage Life are in the same vein, but are somehow a little bland. I bet Hostage Life was great live, although they sadly called it quits at the end of 2009. Kudos goes to Longshot for continuing to spread wondrous oi and streetpunk across the globe. –Art Ettinger (Longshot)

HOSTAGE SITUATION:
Self-titled: 7” EP
Super-speedy straight edge stuff, thankfully short on the metal influence that plagues so many bands in this genre. The lyrics veer more towards the “personal politics” side of things, but there are a few that deal with the stereotypical “edge” subject matter. Not bad for what it is. –Jimmy Alvarado (Third Party)

HOSTAGES:
Legend in My Head, Failure to the World: 7"
The early 2000s saw some interesting trends emerge within the hardcore scene. Bands like Panic and American Nightmare made it fashionable to do away with typical hardcore sloganeering in favor of Morrissey and Ian Curtis-inspired personal gut spilling. This eventually led to the birth of the Makeoutclub online community where the ever-saddening avatars of sensitive hardcore kids worldwide could be found alongside their favorite bum-out quotes and song lyrics. Some anthropological experts (well, me) insist that it was this community of sad sacks that eventually led to the tight-panted, swept-black-hair, Hanoi Rocks version of “hardcore” that thrives today in whichever online –Space or –Book is currently driving the kids wild. To whoever’s interested, Hostages are keeping that flame alive, pretty much verbatim. –Dave Williams (Burnbridges)

HOSTAGES OF AYATOLLAH:
AntHOAlogy: CD
A very nicely packaged anthology of tracks from one of the best American hardcore-inspired German bands of the ‘80s. They knew how to thrash things up with the best of ‘em, but they weren’t afraid in the least to make things catchy and tuneful at the same time, though the singer occasionally sounds like Snake from Voivod during that band’s War and Pain era. Included is a fairly packed booklet with lotsa info on the band (though yer gonna need to be pretty fluent in German ‘cause that’s mostly what it’s written in) and a DVD with live footage and some videos for songs that were originally filmed to be part of a German punk film that was never released. Definitely worth hunting down. –Jimmy Alvarado (x-mist.de)

HOSTAGES, THE:
Grebo 2000: 7"
Punk'n'roll that did jack shit for me. –Jimmy Alvarado (Sell Your Soul, PO Box 6113, Minneapolis, MN 55408)

HOSTAGES, THE:
Grebo 2000: 7"EP
Punk'n'roll that did jack shit for me. –Jimmy Alvarado (Sell Your Soul)

HOSTILE COMBOVER:
Storklord: CD-R
This San Diego three-piece band is a bombastic blend. Imagine early Amphetamine Reptile bands, like the Cows meets Fugazi or Nation Of Ulysses on a bus that Drive Like Jehu is steering off a cliff. Intense with the loudness the early underground ‘90s perfected. For reference, a hostile combover is what you get when you mess with indigenous people’s land, i.e. the Native Americans. Ain’t No Joke, brother, as these guys say. This seven song gem was recorded by Gar Wood of Rocket From The Crypt. Definitely worth seeking out. –Guest Contributor (Self-released)

HOSTILES, THE:
Always Looking Forward: CD
I noticed in my pile of review materials that I had one part of this CD’s promo copy packaging, with no actual CD. Unsure of what to do, and ultimately wanting to keep from potentially screwing them over, I figured I’d at least check out the website they’d listed. From what I can tell, this is all your standard Less Than Jake-influenced ska punk. Admittedly, not the kind of stuff I’ve listened to since I was a lot younger, and if I was going to go back now, I’d probably just stick with the influences proper. I tried. –Joe Evans III (myspace.com/hostileska)

HOSTILES, THE:
Always Looking Forward: CD
Ska from Scotland which must make them Skatish. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I also can’t help myself that ska is my least favorite subgenre in punk rock. Hence, I had a hard time embracing this disc with the “ska bounce” and the cliché horn parts. It sounded quite typical of the genre, but maybe a bit more predictable and mundane than usual. My favorite parts of the album were the portions that eschewed the least blatant calling cards of ska. Like the intro to the second song “Where Are You?” and the conclusion of the last song “A Bad Day for Shorts” when they get all metal. However, you may end up liking this if you have a tendency to enjoy ska. –Jake Shut (Self-released)

HOT CARL:
God Bless America, Popcorn Shrimp’s on Sale Demo: CDEP
My memory of Dubuque is fuzzy. Did I see Hot Carl, or were they just around when people were falling out of trees in inflated inner tubes, before the paint fire, before I almost got in a fight with a guy who kept on pushing me to say, “Fred Durst is a genius”? I understand I was drunk for the better part of the week, and that may help explain why I didn’t realize how great they were. Maybe it’s I’m not so up on their name. Dunno. Hot Carl’s got the hard, tightly structured but expansive melody of Tiltwheel (plus that “it sounds happy but it’s not” quality), hitched onto guitar parts that Jughead of Screeching Weasel would approve of. (Plus the double lyrical meaning in SW. “I’m Doing Fine” is a song about losing it. And “Sympathy” is followed by the parenthetical “(or lack thereof)”) But it’s better than just that, much like Rivethead’s Thundercat music machine is better than the sum of their parts. The songs punch and leave marks of their own and the all the bands I referred them to before are just whizzing-by signposts. I say write them, send a couple of bucks, and have them burn you a copy. This one caught me by surprise. –Todd Taylor (Hot Carl, 140 Loras Blvd. #4, Dubuque, IA 52001)

HOT CROSS:
Cryonics: CD
This blend of screamo hardcore is dissonant and angular with a slight metallic influence. It also makes me search for something which grabs my ears because there’s nothing that accomplishes that here. –Puckett (Level Plane)

HOT CROSS/LIGHT THE FUSE AND RUN:
Split: CDEP
Two songs and one video of each. Hot Cross’ video is a simple live clip with attendant poor sound, and their studio tracks are too heavy on the jangle and noodle to get away with so much screaming about eyes and hands and voices and pictures. Light the Fuse and Run, on the other hand, turned in a better video (interview and live footage, soundtracked with the two songs from the audio part of the disc) and better songs: second one’s a slow, quiet instrumental that evokes old Western movies, but “Ghost Town” shows that these fellows know how to write a dang song: meaty riffs, proper timing on the tension-buildup parts, discriminate use of “fuck”s, and lyrics that, while obscure, actually bring to mind something concrete. Ain’t no Flesh Eating Creeps, but what is? –Cuss Baxter (Level Plane/Electric Human Project)

HOT DAMN!:
The Girl Can’t Help It: CD
Female sleaze-punk, fast, lean, and obsessed with sex. I can think of worse ways to view the world. Unfortunate cover of “The Girl Can’t Help It,” though. –Jimmy Alvarado (Steel Cage)

HOT FLOWERS:
Camellia: CD
This band is from France, but I have no idea if the vocals are in English or not because this album is so fuzzed-out that it could have been recorded forty years ago. The intros are pretty epic and sort of psychedelic, but the shouty vocals and fast guitars align these guys with a more first-wave punk sound. This is unlike anything I’ve heard in years, and I will probably listen to it for a while to come. –Lauren Trout (Time Tunnel/ Bordeaux Rock/ Hot Garden, myspace.com/hotflower)

HOT HOT HEAT:
Knock Knock Knock: CD
This really sucks sucks sucks. –Money (SubPop)

HOT NEW MEXICANS:
It’s Called Leaning Back: CD
Maybe its the holiday season that makes some mellower music more enticing to me. These guys play fairly slow tempo stuff with vocals that remind me of Bowie meets some more rocking stuff along the lines of Ted Leo. The music has subdued, jangly, and choppy sounds with a calm drummer who most likely appreciates the Clash and Charlie Watt equally. From the insert it seems HNM are from Cleveland, Mississippi. That explains the swagger; things just happen a little slower in their neck of the woods. This record is worth a listen, although some might find it a little over the top for their tastes. –Guest Contributor (Salinas)

HOT NEW MEXICANS:
Wah...: 7"
I like being confounded by music, yet enjoying it. It’s like a taste that escapes memory, but lurks on the sides of your tongue. Hot New Mexicans do what The Carrie Nations’ Be Still did (and still does) to me. Made me stop and think that indie rock’s just in weak hands, the crowns have been sent to the wrong addresses. Diapers are full. Hot New Mexicans validate the theory that I really wasn’t listening to latter Hüsker Dü wrong; that it wasn’t just getting slower and needed sleepier (and infinitely more boring) interpretations, but by adding layers, tension, and depth there can be more to listen to. Much like Superchunk, with Hot New Mexicans I hear punk rockers unafraid to stretch their musical tastes without completely smothering that initial, unmistakable fire. Wow, this is good stuff and it’s got pianos and “la, la, las” all without the usual attendant reek of hipsterism. –Todd Taylor (Fast Crowd)

HOT NEW MEXICANS:
Well… Um… Er… Uh…: 7”EP
The same goes for Ninja Gun. From the outside looking in, this case could be made: “Dude, so totally not punk rock.” And if you were just listening to the music, weren’t reading along to the lyrics, and you didn’t know the band’s intentions, you’d have a point. Hot New Mexicans sound almost straight-up like a band from the late ‘60s, early ‘70s who appreciated The Beatles as much as Credence Clearwater Revival, Tom Petty, and Elvis Costello. It’s well-produced rock’n’roll that’s equally serious and playful… and in this day and age, on stages large and small, that’s a fuckin’ anomaly. So while this has few outward trappings of punk—there are no conceptual safety pins, middle fingers holding their music in place, or dumpster dives mentioned—it’s celebratory, it’s made by and directed to the disenfranchised, and it’s just great music to get behind. If you’re a fan of The Carrie Nations and haven’t checked these guys out yet, it’d be a good idea to. –Todd Taylor (Fast Crowd / Little Deputy)

HOT POCKETS:
Kiss ‘n Run: LP
Yay! How could I NOT like this? It’s got a guy from the Spaceshits (one of the best garage bands of all time, easily), and they cover a Beat song (“Walking out on Love”) AND a Beach Boys song (“Girl Don’t Tell Me”)! And both of the covers rule! Total lo-fi garage and sloppy! Just the way I like it! A slight Devil Dogs influence on some of this stuff, and a total early nineties garage influence (think: Devil Dogs, Teengenerate, Supercharger….aaaahhhh…). One bad song, but what can you do? If this were a cereal, it’d be Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Gimme more, more, more! –Maddy (Alien Snatch)

HOT ROD HONEYS, THE:
Kill Me Now: LP
High energy Dwarvesy business that veers occasionally into ‘77-style and Queers territory, with denim! –Cuss Baxter (Demolition Derby)

HOT SNAKES:
Audit in Progress: LP
There are bands that you just trust, where even if a song seems to come out of left field, you give them the benefit of the doubt and keep listening. For me, Hot Snakes are one of those bands. They have a very wormy quality about them; their songs have a way of burrowing deep into your brain to the point where it becomes a specific craving, like “I want to listen to this particular band,” instead of “I want to listen to punk rock.” Comparisons are hard to make. Essentially, it’s straight-ahead rock and roll with thick, jarring percussion and a moody, explosive skew to it, but it’s so much more than that. There are very distinct, almost ethereal guitar lines wrapping themselves around every song, a bit like the Wipers. It’s experimental, but it’s airtight rather than self-indulgent, more like No Means No than Sonic Youth. Much like the last Fugazi album, the familiarity between the musicians leads to much broader musical landscapes instead of predictability. In the end, though, they don’t sound like anybody but Hot Snakes. Lyrically, they’re unparalleled; Rick’s ability to make the abstract seem very personal amazes me more and more with each listen. They’re fucking unreal live, too. Everything about this record is unbelievable. –Josh (Swami)

HOT SNAKES:
Suicide Invoice: CD
First, the rant. Although I understand the music industry wants to give reviewers music before it hits the shelves to build excitement and that artwork often doesn’t get finished until the last minute, but I can’t help but feel like a chump when I get a piece of music in a clear plastic baggie solely with the album name, song titles, and street date instead of the full package. (This also coming from ex-members of Drive Like Jehu who silkscreened on their CD, “CD’s really fuckin’ blow.” Why do CDs blow? One reason – shittier, smaller artwork. But versus no artwork at all…? I digress.) It’d be like me sending out magazines “for preview” with a bunch of pages missing and without a cover. That shit just ain’t right. It’d be another thing if I wasn’t even a fan of music and I worked for Spin; if this was just my job that I hated, being a barometer of what’s hot, happening, and now and then just rewriting the press kit. I like the Hot Snakes, so it just bums me out that I don’t even know what the album looks like. Plus, without a package, I tend to lose all the skinny CDs in my piles. Now the review. This is the mellower, more rock’n’roll side to their debut, Permanent Midnight. The structures are tighter and more traditional, there are less sproinging angularities and meticulous breakaparts which smear into blasts and whispers. It’s all more straight ahead – well, as straight ahead as you’re apt to get from the twisty music from present and ex-members of Mule, Pitchfork, Rocket From The Crypt, and Tanner. It’s like with the first album, they were charting music as complicated as a heart – veins, arteries, and jumping, jittering parts – and Suicide Invoice is a large leg muscle being operated under ether with big, splotted tools. It’s creepier and more sparse overall and you can see how the all parts operate and help one another. The diagram’s simpler, the lighting’s steadier, but the result is pretty much the same. A kickass, non-traditional rock’n’roll album by a bunch of veterans who know how to not sound like a supergroup. (Name a single supergroup that was better than groups the members were famous from. Two points off if you even thought of Damn Yankees or the Traveling Wilburys.) –Todd Taylor (Swami)

HOT TODDIES, THE:
Smell the Mitten: CD
I recently quit eating sugar which is no fun at all, but it allows me to get through my days without headaches and dizziness. What, I wondered, will fill the sugary void? Enter The Hot Toddies. I love all-girl bands. I love harmonies. I love 1950’s style drum beats and shoop-shoopy background vocals. And so it logically follows that I love The Hot Toddies. These girls play clever retro-pop with a punk sensibility. Their debut album is so sweet I almost don’t crave ice cream anymore. And a lot of their songs are about sex, which cuts the cuteness in a very enticing way. There are also songs about nerdy things like HTML and photosynthesis, so frankly, I don’t see how this could get much better. I even put the song “Motorscooter” on a mixed CD for my mom’s kindergarten class to dance to. –Jennifer Whiteford (Asian Man)

HOT WATER MUSIC:
The New What Next: CD
I once thought that the review I penned of Down By Law’s last album was the toughest I would ever have to write; I tried to recuse myself from the start on that one due to my personal association with the guys in the band but that one flew about as well as a dead seagull. Now this. When I revived my zine after a hiatus of several years, Hot Water Music was the first band that I interviewed. They were one of the bands that made me realize that something existed beyond shitty, third-generation Bad Religion and NOFX ripoffs that wasn’t Crass or Bay Area pop punk. It was raw, complex, heartfelt, sincere—it just flat out fucking killed me. It took me a while to get it—I had to spend some time with Fuel for the Hate Game and Forever and Counting. I had to open my ears a little more, expand my idea of what music might and could be. I can’t even count how many times I’ve listened to them now, how many times I’ve played those songs on the radio in the middle of the night. When A Flight and a Crash rolled around and polarized HWM’s fan base, I got that album too. Even though I could understand why people were pissed about that record, I couldn’t agree with them because I still heard the things in it that made me fall in love with the band—it wasn’t a replica of an earlier album; instead, they pulled off at a rest area, gave some directions about how to get to the next stop on the musical journey and took off without looking back to see who followed. Then Caution dropped and, once again, plugged into a void in my life. I can’t even count how many times I’ve listened to “Trusty Chords” now, but I had it on repeat for something on the order of five weeks. And now it’s past one a.m. and I can’t tell if I simply don’t have any more voids left to fill or if this album is as much of a letdown as I fear it is. Maybe it’s that I’ve matured past the music… but I don’t think that’s true because I fucking hate Michelle Branch and think the Shikari disc in my player is one of the most awesome things I’ve heard this year. Maybe it’s the circumstances I’m in right now—for once, I’m relatively settled. I’m employed, in a good relationship… things are going pretty well for me, so maybe it’s the comparative lack of conflict and struggle… except that can’t be it either because I’m gearing up for a four-year fight and HWM’s old albums are the perfect soundtrack for it. What I’m increasingly left with is that this album isn’t so much of a stylistic advance or musical experimentation as it is a puzzling detour into relatively flat, uninteresting territory—sort of like driving across the Midwest with nothing more than a thermos of coffee and a tape that is only sort of okay to keep you company. Sure, on the surface it seems superficially similar. There are still two guitars, the rhythm section is still one of the best ones in punk, but something is missing. The songs seem slower, more moderately paced; they seem more conventional and restrained. Whereas older albums frequently sounded like the band was pushing to break through some unseen and unperceived barrier that only they could recognize, this album sounds like they took a breather, almost as if these songs were written from a template that the band developed years ago or an equation that returned tracks from the values they entered. Hell, even Scott Sinclair’s artwork looks radically different for this record. Sure, there are some great moments—”Ink and Lead” is as good a love song as they’ve ever written, “Giver” closes out the album in a classic Hot Water Music stop-and-go breakdown mode, and “The End of the Line” is yet another moment of solace for fans who are lonely, feeling out of control, or who need to open up and experience something new… or maybe all of the above. The problem is that these redemptive moments, the handful of soaring, swelling, transcendent guitar lines which make the world seem better, if only for a moment, are dramatically fewer in number this time; while everything that initially drew me to Hot Water Music is still present, it’s muted, subdued and in limited quantities. But hey, we all grow up, right? We all get older. I’ve come to the realization over the years that my affection for and appreciation of some bands will last forever; other bands are more like passengers on the same plane or bus or train—maybe we exchange a few friendly words while we wait to leave, we travel together for a while and maybe realize that other people feel similarly or even the same as we do right now and we feel better for a while. However, no trip lasts forever. Sooner or later, someone has to change direction and while that may mean that we part ways—perhaps only temporarily—it doesn’t mean that we can’t remember and celebrate the good time we had together. –Puckett (Epitaph)

HOT WATER MUSIC:
Till the Wheels Fall Off: CD
This is Hot Water Music’s second B-sides record, focusing on the latter half of their recorded output, more or less the Epitaph years. Every song brings some quality to the table, ranging from outtakes of their last three records and a few 7”s, to a variety of covers: Circle Jerks, Leatherface, etc. Despite some recent shows, I guess the wheels have fallen off, and that makes this album the spare tire. Its not something to ride on too long, but if you need more than what they’ve released on the full lengths, this holds up. Of course, if you’re missing a proper HWM record, get that first. –Nick Toerner –Guest Contributor (No Idea)

HOT WATER MUSIC:
Caution: CD
I've had a long, satisfying allegiance with HWM. Not to overstate my case, but I was able to put them on the cover of Flipside #120 a few years back and in Razorcake #2, stated how they, and Leatherface, helped change the way I listen to music to this day (which they have). The last couple months, for me, have been filled with loads of reflection on a host of different topics ranging big and small, and I'll say this: I like the angry, fast, anthemic HWM better than the softer, more melodic, intricate HWM. I love it when Chris and Chuck vacillate hoarse to hoarser and molotov out the lyrics, setting everything in their musical landscape aflame. It makes me feel like, even if I'm alone, I'm singing along with a thousand voices. That shit's powerful good. Caution is 50/50 for me. I'm not completely convinced that, ever since they've learned to sing and carry a tune and play guitar parts that almost sound like keyboards, that it's been for the better of my enjoyment. I liked the snarl and rasp, the discomforting this-shit's-gonna-break, you-got-a-roll-of-duct-tape? tension. And, although, this album still covers the topics of sadness, loss, and regret, and, as a band, they're one of the best live ones in existence, I still find myself reaching back in their catalog and pulling out Forever and Counting, Fuel for the Hate Game, the split 8"with Clairmel, and Never Ender to find my fists clenching up so tight and thinking, "This band could take the world on its own terms and knock its dick in the dirt." –Todd Taylor (Epitaph)

HOT WATER MUSIC:
A Flight and a Crash: CD
The first ten plus listens, my chin was getting a lot of scratching. I let it. There have been HWM albums that take some time to gear into. Many of those have turned out to be my favorites. The biggest leaps to this from "No Division"? No immediate "us against them" anthems. Less screaming and gruff yelps. Fewer change-off vocal volleys between Chuck and Chris. The lyrics are getting less site specific (say, like Gorilla Biscuits) and more open to interpretation (like Fugazi, but a little more focused. For example: "oh, but fucker, yeah, you'll get yours"). Then it took me by surprise. I was humming the line, "who are we but savages hooked on accessories" out from nowhere. I found the instrument melody to "A Clear Line" strung through my head when I was taking a shower, rinsing me along with my soap. I began to enjoy what I suspect was evidence of a larger recording budget. All the little cycling sound effects. The bell sounds. The embedded voice tracks. I heard the texture they added to the songs instead of being annoyed that I wasn't getting exactly what I was expecting; which was HWM's past. Fifty listens in, "A Flight and a Crash" doesn't only stand with my favorite HWM albums, it quite possibly stands at a larger musical crossroads. They've stretched the fire of hardcore into the smoldering embers of emotion and didn't puss or art or tinker themselves out. They didn't give me what I wanted, necessarily. They gave me what I needed. Which is the album they needed to make, not the one I expected to hear. Excellent. –Todd Taylor (Epitaph)

HOTCHACHA:
Rifle, I Knew You When You Were Just a Pistol: CD
The press stuff says these kids have been together all of a year, but it was apparently a year well spent, judging from the songs here. Four tunes, a supposed teaser for their upcoming album, and not a stinker in the lot. Heavy art/noise vibe with enough pop thrown into the mix to keep things catchy, a little Sonic Youth here, a little K Records feel there, and a lotta their own vibe over the other parts. Really good stuff. –Jimmy Alvarado (Exit Stencil)

HOTLINES, THE:
Self-titled: CD
Billy Joe Green Day aspires to be in a Queers clone band. They have better hooks than others, I’ll give ’em that, but in the end, too many bands have long ago tainted this flavor of Kool-Aid. –Jimmy Alvarado (lamf.biz))

HOTPIPES, THE:
The Deadly Poison: CD
Picture this. A Chris Cornell (Soundgarden/Audioslave) soundalike sings for a college rock band that sounds a little like Led Zeppelin. Woohoo! Find it now in a used bin near you! –Donofthedead (Vacant Cage)

HOT’N’HEAVY/THE SHARP EASE:
Split: 7”
It’s fitting that Hot’n’Heavy should join forces with The Sharp Ease for this split 7”. Both are Los Angeles-based bands lacking in the pretension that often plagues the scene in this city. Both are the writers of sharp, insightful lyrics and the players of heavy beats. Both are known for their highly energetic live shows. Hot’n’Heavy could be part of the High NRG Riot, should something exist, as influenced by Kathleen Hanna as they are by Bronski Beat. Listening to this album, it becomes obvious that Dolly Resendez and Rudy Blue are just as comfortable making zines at home as they are dancing to Trans X’s “Living on Video.” The duo offers two tracks on this release. “Colored Vinyl,” featuring Dolly on vocals, is a hyper-rhythm dance track in the vein of ‘80s Hi NRG music, but with a distinct punk twist. On “State of Confusion,” Rudy Blue takes center stage with flat but endearing vocals, as if New Order’s Bernard Sumner grew up in Los Angeles, as opposed to Manchester. On the flipside, The Sharp Ease prove, once again, that they lay claim to the best drummer in Los Angeles. Christine Kings wields her drumsticks like a Williams sister on the tennis court. Listening to her, I’m half-expecting to hear her rip off the skins. Yet, for all this power, she never drops a beat. Running through the rhythm is Paloma Parfrey sounding as if she is on the verge of kicking someone’s ass – all anger and fiery passion. While this 7” is a strong testament to the sound of both bands, it does not match seeing either group play in a dark, skanky club. The music just isn’t the same without watching Rudy Blue work the Jazzercise moves in the middle of the crowd as his boxers hang from under his gym shorts or Paloma Parfrey spitting out lyrics as she jumps into the audience. –Liz O. (Spitshine; www.spitshinerecords.com)

HOUR OF THE WOLF / LEWD ACTS:
Split: CD
After hearing some of Hour Of The Wolf’s previous stuff, I thought they were all bark and no bite. I’m taking this disc as their retort. The first track on this split, “Overload,” fakes like it’s coming at your leg before leaping at your throat and digging its fangs in. Lyrics express feelings of numbness and pressure as youth fades away. The way these words are sung, however, makes it clear that anger is the real emotion. That emotion fuels the band’s remaining two tracks as well. Lewd Acts take over from there, trying valiantly, though futilely, to carry on with the same level of intensity. –MP Johnson (Think Fast)

HOUSE BOAT:
The Delaware Octopus: CD
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that House Boat are basically the Pinhead Gunpowder for the next generation of pop punk nerds: Four dudes from other notable bands of the genre (ranging from broken up to full-time active) coming together to make a record every once in a while, and play the occasional shows. While I love a lot of these bands (like Rivethead, Copyrights, Dear Landlord, etc), I personally find myself relating to Grath’s songs a little bit more, since they usually revolve around being unhappy about your temp job, and immediately falling head over heels over every girl you pass on the street. For the completely out of the loop, think if Off With Their Heads embraced the fact that they’re a pop punk band a lot more, and were less dramatic. –Joe Evans III (It’s Alive)

HOUSE BOAT:
The Delaware Octopus: CD
This is one of those supergroup bands that is made up of members from The Steinways, Dear Landlord, Off With Their Heads, and The Ergs! As a band, House Boat, makes lighthearted power pop songs. There’s a song about still being a kid at the age thirty titled, “30 Going on 13.” As a heads up, if you’re a fan of any of the previously mentioned bands, then this may not exactly be your cup of tea. It sort of reminds me of The Copyrights because it’s independent punk with professional production standards. It’s just a little more lyrically whimsical than The Copyrights stuff. The point of this album feels like it’s just supposed be fun. I’m happy with that while wondering when I’ll grow up, too. –N.L. Dewart (It's Alive)

HOUSE OF COMMONS:
Guilty as Hell: CD
Welly from Artcore unearthed this slice of Canadian punk history. House Of Commons came out of British Columbia in 1980 and recorded in one form or another right up to around 1993. Obvious DOA influence in their sound, but they have a definite U.K. influence as well: mid tempo punk where the songs are allowed to build and hold your attention. This disc collects their Patriot LP from 1983, and demos from 1985 to 1993. Must admit, their later stuff is just as good as the earlier. Not a common feat! You can score this with Artcore #26. –Marcus Solomon (Artcore, flw@ntlworld.com)

HOUSE THAT GLORIA VANDERBILT, THE:
Heavy like a Feather: CD
Todd (Pott of Apocalypse Hoboken, Tongues, and The House That Gloria Vanderbilt) handed this to me and everyone else standing around one night after Tongues played. I was surprised that I liked it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not all that skeptical, and I love the hell out of some Apocalypse Hoboken, but I’d seen them once before with high expectations that just weren’t met. But then, the more that I listened to it, the more it made sense: what truly bothered me during the set was gone while listening to the CD, allowing me to enjoy the rest. The female singer/guitar player was what killed it for me live. Everything about her (and this is all presumption since I’ve never seen her with the exception of those several minutes on stage) seemed so forced. Her demeanor (Bangles’ eyes, pouts, and movements) all seemed to have been decided after some time in front of a mirror. And, that made it painful to watch. Take that out and you’ve got something pretty darn interesting here. Todd has the shut-eyed, close-fisted drunken Tom Waits cross between a croon and wail down, which is then paired with the dank and dirge of the Starvations and the dirty rock of RFTC . It’s quite a thing to hear, if not necessarily to see. –Megan Pants (self-released: www.myspace.com/thehousethatgloriavanderbilt)

HOW DARE YOU:
Comfort Road: CDEP
These guys sound like an extremely watered down version of Love Me Destroyer. The songcraft is very bro-ha (meaning the band devoted ninety-nine percent of the lyrical content to specific people and situations that relate only to themselves and their bros.) I’m not the band’s bro or hoe, so, sorry, I missed out when, “In ‘95 we had our first band, wailing on Stratocasters” as the lyrics to the song “Hecker” plaintively state. While bro-ha tunes are fine for family and high school reunions, they leave the rest of us in the dark. The album pulled out all the stops, literally, into a screeching halt by ending with the emo song, “No Remains.” This is a ballad-y tune musically arranged to include a piano. But what else was I supposed to expect from a band that describes themselves (on their MySpace page) as, “Four guys beaten down by humidity in the heart of Disneyworld.”? –N.L. Dewart –Guest Contributor (Fail Safe)

HOW IT ENDS:
Beloved: CD
In the interest of full disclosure and in an attempt to avoid being jumped and sliced up by some angry Varg Vikernes wannabe, I’ll come clean, right off the bat, and admit that I just haven’t been keeping up on my heavy metal lately. So when a disc like this is shoveled my way, I’m likely to make out-dated references to bands like Crow Bar, Drown, and Entombed—all of which are references, I’m sure, that any self-respecting he-man death metalist would snicker at, if death metalists are allowed to snicker. Realizing the flimsiness of my references, I would then probably try to slap together some ill-conceived imagery like rutting bull elephants trampling a field of crawling infants while water-tower-sized bags of manure fall from the brooding sky. But all of that would probably only serve to shine the light of truth on just what a pathetic metal wuss I really am. Whatever. I can live with that. And I can live with this disc, too. It’s not bad. I don’t know if I’ll listen to it much myself, but it’ll be good to have on hand when my he-man death metal pals drop by for beers. –Aphid Peewit (Thorp)

HOW WE ARE:
Self-titled: CD
This is straight edge hardcore from the Northeast. You can’t understand a word, even with the lyrics sheet. The music is tight, concise, chunky riffage. Growing up, I heard my fair share of Gorilla Biscuits, Token Entry, Earth Crisis and assorted other NE straight edge bands. While this release has the energy and passion of fists raised with black X’s, I still prefer to pound a beer and fight other causes, like say, senseless war for instance. Revelation could totally release this: good stuff, albeit not for me. –Buttertooth (Stop Whining, Start Winning)

HOW WE ARE:
To Teach a Hundred and One: LP
Easily one of the lamest band names ever. These guys remind me of bands like Undertow and Turning Point. Mid-tempo straight-edge style hardcore with a lot of break downs, heavy riffing, gang choruses, and the whole nine. The vocalist sounds like he’s being strangled at points. I imagine he’s wrecki