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· 1:Razorcake #81 Now Available
· 2:#326 with Tim Brooks
· 3:Featured Record Reviews From Issue #81
· 4:My First Punk Show
· 5:#327 with Kurt Morris


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Hurula, Vi ar manniskorna vara foraldrar varnade oss for LP
Razorcake #81
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Nights and Days in a Dark Carnival by Craven Rock
Chantey Hook, Underground 7" *Limited Color Vinyl


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Record Reviews

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CRAPPY DRACULA:
Tooo Muuuch: LP
As you know, Crappy Dracula is a three hundred-year-old vampire. He spends a lot of time in the dark and has gone kind of batty. I don’t think he’s using any of these instruments right and I swear I saw him try to suck some old lady’s blood using his earlobes. He keeps threatening that the ghost from Three Men and a Baby is coming to get me. I’m not scared, not with all his jangling and rattling. –MP Johnson (Eeefin)


CRAPPY DRACULA / SONOROUS GALE:
Split: 7" EP
Both bands here sound like their tracks were taken from some long-lost ‘80s cassette compilation of obscure bands that never really did much more past contributing tunes to cassette compilations. Neither band is bad, per se, so much as not really managing to put across something with much lasting impact outside of, in the case of Sonorous Gale’s contribution, a vaguely Hole-like feel. Could totally be the recording quality, but this just ain’t workin’ for me. –Jimmy Alvarado (Crappy Dracula World Headquarters)


CRASH AND BURN:
The Value of Mistrust: CD
Tim Yohannon forgive me, for I am about to sin. This is a CD of grimy, stripped-down, heavy rock with a punkish sneer, ala Blitzspear—but it is laden with cock-rocky guitar wankery and, in spots, even reminds me a little bit—just a little bit, mind you—of (gasp!) Skid Row. And I like it. There, I said it. But this thing actually rocks out pretty impressively. Self-righteous punk rockers with extra starch in their rectitude might want to avoid this one, but me, I like it damn good. Simply put: when this band rips it up, they fucking rip. I just hope they don’t go off on some woozy Monster Magnet-type rock star trip down the road. That would leave me with some egg on my face. But for now, though I think there’s some self-indulgent fat that could be trimmed, Crash and Burn tear it up pretty good and you’d be a sectarian idiot to not acknowledge that. –aphid (Thorp)


CRASH AND BURN:
Sick Again: CD
I wanted to like this. I thought it would be easy – so many people I know love them. I just can’t get into it. It’s that ‘70s influenced rock with a bit more power, but it just comes off as frat bar rock to me. People keep saying they hear Black Flag. I hear Bon Jovi, sorry. –Megan Pants (Crash and Burn)


CRASH BANG BOOM:
Self-titled: 7”EP
Addiction’s a bitch. Getting old sucks. Alcohol and Adderall is a combo that’ll get you into some fuzzy situations, naked, on your back, staring at the sun next to someone you don’t recognize. It’s both sad and beautiful. Hey, at least you’re not a robot. This 7” is a rally against the numbing effect of physical labor jobs, the limitations of weekends and binging to make up for lost time. Tall boys—life plan? Redemption and maintenance? Or just unromantic liver damage? Check back in another decade. Sing this plaintively, through burlap, with electric snake guitars and creaking floor boards. Think DIY Tampa—Tim Version, Watson, Dukes, Vag. Jr. Sort of like the dark side of the moon to Too Many Daves, if that makes any sort of sense. Existential dude crisis. –Todd Taylor (ADD, addrecs.com)


CRASH HOUNDS OF AMERICA:
Trash Heap (2009 – 2013): Cassette
Couple of porknobs whose recording equipment is as key to them jerking off as the internet is to the rest of us. –Craven (Self-released)


CRASH NORMAL:
Finger Shower: 10”
Eight songs of Parisian garage art. The sheer amount of treble is hypnotic, the shards of guitar bring Big Black to mind, the sullen, drawled vocals owe a thing or two to Mark E. Smith of The Fall, and it sounds like there’s a drum machine ticking away under all of the tinfoil-chewing white noise. I picture this band living in a warehouse, and if I went over there and said, “Hey guys, it’s a nice afternoon. Let’s go outside!” they’d all light smokes at the same time and go, “No. We’re nihilists,” then go back to throwing cinderblocks and skronking the day away. –CT Terry (Rijapov, myspace.com/rijapovrecords)


CRASH NORMAL:
Unrealistic Tracks: EP
I wish I had seen these guys when they blew through town a while back. Seriously, one of the best bands going these days. At least that’s my opinion. Their songs are massive in sound, they lurch, shake, crunch—not to mention they’re noisy as hell—all delivered with unbelievable fuzzed-out style. A mix of garage, punk, blues, and whatever else they can fold into the din. Can’t get enough of this stuff! If Crash Normal were a drug, I’d be fucked. –Matt Average (Compost Modern Art, myspace.com/compostmodernart)


CRASH NORMAL/INTELLIGENCE SPLIT:
Self-titled: 7"
I’ve only heard the Intelligence a few times. What I remember is a surf rock influence that isn’t all that apparent on this split 7”. “Parades” sounds more like Throbbing Gristle than Dick Dale—with a modified Bo Diddley beat accompanied by an ominous guitar riff; both pounded relentlessly for a sublime minimalist result. Crash Normal: sing-speak vocals over swampy instrumentation. It’s the Intelligence side that has my interest. Good stuff, indeed. –Ryan Leach (Compost Modern Art Recordings, myspace.com/compostmodernart)


CRASHDOLLZ:
Self-titled: CD-R
Self indulgent, mind blowing-ly boring “punk-metal” on this CD-R which should more appropriately be used as a beer coaster. There’s so many fucking contacts listed all over this disc, not to mention a business card. Crashdollz, you obviously don’t read this fanzine so let me clue you in: we’re not an agency here so do us both a favor and stick with the one, sole, best way to get in touch with your band should anyone feel the need to. Me, I’m not going to hold my breath for that miracle. –Juan Espinosa (Self-released, crashdollz.com)


CRASHED OUT:
Pearls Before Swine: CD
Slightly above average modern oi fodder, not too terrible, not quite faboo. I often found the explanations for each song more interesting than the lyrics themselves, especially "Murder on Sunset Strip." Having spent my entire life living in Los Angeles, I can totally picture the scenario going down as described in that song, which is disturbing 'cause it made me realize just how desensitized I am to crazy shit like that happening. –Jimmy Alvarado (Captain Oi)


CRAVATS:
In Toytown: 2 x CD
Even on a label that released disparate oddities by the likes of Annie Anxiety, Captain Sensible, and Rudimentary Peni, Cravats were an anomaly. Equal parts Crass, Captain Beefheart, and what occasionally sounds like some coked-out funk band on a Black Randy bender, they delivered abrasive, dissonant, and oddly groovy tunes with humor, tautness, and a level of musical sophistication that stood well outside the comfort zones of the average punker. Here their four singles on the Small Wonder label are collected with the titular album on one disc, which itself is paired with a new remix of the entire album by none other than Penny Rimbaud, who produced some of those early releases. Crucial stuff here for those who like their punk a bit more esoteric and challenging than the requisite polka beats. –Jimmy Alvarado (Overground)


CRAVING:
Good Cast Is Worth Repeating: CD
They sound like they’re trying really hard to tap into the groovier aspects of the AmRep noise rock pigeonhole, and they come pretty danged close on occasion. They ultimately fall just short, though, with the results sounding like slightly quirky rock stuff. My suggestion is to get ‘em cranked up on a potent cocktail of peyote, meth, coke, and Red Bull to bring them just shy of their hearts exploding, tell them their significant others were involved in a bizarre orgy tape involving porpoises dressed in Santa Claus suits, hand ‘em their instruments, crank all the console knobs to “vaporize,” and let ‘em record their next record. –Jimmy Alvarado (f-spin.de)


CRAVING STRANGE:
A Life Exceptional: CD
If you listen to bands like Creed, Three Doors Down, and Good Charlotte then this record of sonic wankery may be right up your alley. This was a true endurance test that I may never fully recover from in my lifetime. I craved the minute I hit “stop” on the player.  –Sean Koepenick (Horian, no address listed)


CRAW, THE:
Figure 24I.—Single Abdominal Wound: CD-R
Musically, they fit firmly amongst the thrashy hardcore horde, with little in the way of metal influence in evidence. Lyrically, they lean towards the misanthropic/misogynistic side of things, with happy tunes about the human race being a disease, HPV, and fisting a girl after strangling her. –Jimmy Alvarado (Live Fast Die Drunk, no address)


CRAWLERS, THE:
All My Punk Rock Children E.P.: 7”
Adequate fast and funny punk rock from a band I’ve never heard of, but really feel like I should have. Songs written in simplistic couplets makin’ fun of losers, from punk rock posturers (“Used to Be”) and trendies (“Waste of Talent”) to cokehead eBay junkies (“Kicked Off eBay”); I think one of the songs might be a love song (“Promise Me”), but The Crawlers never go soft for a second, not even here. –Susan Chung (Blind Spot)


CRAWLERS, THE:
Self-titled: 12” EP
Straight-forward, amped-up hardcore punk—in the vein of Bad Reaction or Hollywood Hate—that comes across as earnest, yet is mostly predictable in sound, tempo, and how they approach topics (religion bad, scene has problems, politics are fucked). Check, check, and check. The two brightest spots are the last songs on each side. It’s always a little problematic that my favorite song on a new record is a cover (The Cure’s “Fire in Cairo”). Yet, “Village of the Damned” dilates the band’s scope up a little bit, gives the song varied tempo, some time to breathe, and develop its own voice. And that gives me hope that The Crawlers will expand a bit in the future because they feel like a tight dot right now; easy to overlook. –Todd Taylor (Blind Spot)


CRAWLERS, THE:
I Hate Michael Vick: 7"
Ah, fuck yea! The hidden gem of my bimonthly Razorcake package. This Portland, OR punk rock band serves up three fast songs that are clearly influenced by ‘80s hardcore, but rise above the gazillion bands aping Black Flag these days. To compare them to a band that‘s currently got a bit of a buzz around them, I’d say that The Crawlers have a Cloak/Dagger sound to them, a sound that’s rooted in classic hardcore but brings in elements of stuff like Toys That Kill. Ignore all of my name dropping nonsense if you want, but the point is that this is fast and catchy as shit. I’ll be picking up their full length ASAP.  –Dave Dillon (Blind Spot)


CRAWLERS, THE:
Level the Forest: LP
The Crawlers play old school-flavored hardcore punk infused with pop tinge and lyrics that are—or at least should be—tongue in cheek (see the album title). It’s pretty solid stuff. However, it seems as though they have, as what I will call, “opening band sound.” Opening band sound is not necessarily a bad thing, and not just opening bands fall under this categorization of sound. In fact, it can be rather cool under the right circumstances. Anyhow, opening band sound is a solid sound that can definitely keep you in the bar/basement/club if you are in the mood for a live band. The opening band sound is not a bad sound, but it isn’t what you came to see. It is what you have heard before by someone—someone that you probably can’t remember—but you don’t mind hearing again. The problem with opening band sound is that—though it is solid and reliable—after you hear the band that you came to see, nothing sticks out to you about the band. Though you might not remember anything extraordinary about the band, you’ll still be down to check them out again. –Vincent Battilana (Blind Spot)


CRAZE, THE:
Introducing the Craze: CD
If my parents (who are the antithesis of hip) suddenly decided to become “cool” and tried to influence me as to some “awesome” music, I’m pretty sure this would be their idea of what it should sound like. Let me put it this way: a good number of the songs have “woah” or “oh oh oh” or some combination or variation of them and yet none of the songs come anywhere close to sounding like a Fat Wreck band. Yes my friends, somewhere there is a “great” sports bar missing their weekend band. –Kurt Morris (Dynatone)


CRAZY & THE BRAINS:
Let Me Go: CD
Dangerously catchy, Crazy & The Brains are reminiscent of Groovie Ghoulies, with the addition of xylophones, glockenspiel, and possibly hard drugs. A pleasant reminder that poppy punk didn’t die with the underground turning its back on pop punk; only a total snob wouldn’t get off on this joyful celebration of all things fun. Who thought that xylophones could work as a constant on an album? Apparently these guys did. Super silly and wacky, it’s hard not to let go while listening to Let Me Go. –Art Ettinger (Baldy Longhair)


CRAZY AND THE BRAINS:
Don’t Need No Snacks: Cassette
How much do you like the sound of a xylophone? Do you like it chiming again and again, crawling into your brain through your ear canals like some sort of mind slug? Do you like it wrapping its shiny essence around your thinking muscle, squeezing it until you go all zombie-eyed and start kicking your legs and clapping your hands? Do you like it layered under terrible lyrics about loving Lindsay Lohan and wanting to be on Saturday Night Live? Does anyone like xylophone that much? –MP Johnson (Baldy Longhair)


CRAZY ARM:
Born to Ruin: CD
I found myself wanting to like this diverse mid-tempo U.K. band, but every time a glimmer of inspiration creeps through, it falls flat and gets obnoxiously contrived. It’s all over the map, and the end result is a total mess. Influences include cock rock, emo, rockabilly, and 1977 punk. There are some interesting passages in a handful of the tracks, but it is drab and mope-y overall. While Born to Ruin might be an earnest attempt to blend various rock influences into a punk-minded framework, it ends up sounding bland, like some of the weaker third stage Warped Tour bands taking the stage this summer. Uncool, man. Uncool. –Art Ettinger (Gunner, gunnerrecords.com)


CRAZY ARM:
The Southern Wild: CD/LP

Crazy Arm has previously flirted with a folk- and roots-based sound within its more standard anger-fuelled punk rock delivery, so it was no surprise to hear that the band was going to release an album which would eschew that more direct approach in favor of an acoustic-led dynamic. The result is a joy to listen to with a more relaxed musical feel throughout, yet which lyrically retains the anti-war and “no god, no master” type sentiment that have permeated Darren Johns’s song writing for the band in the past but there is also a more personal edge within the songs as well. With a variety of tracks being served up, this never gets stale and it will take quite a stunning release to stop this being in my top five albums of 2013.

–Rich Cocksedge (Xtra Mile, xtramilerecrodings.com)


CRAZY BAND:
Fuck You: Cassette
Sixteen tracks of stellar, lo-fi, primal female-fronted postpunk with attitude to spare! This is great for raging or dancing or both! Beyond reproach! What else can I say? –Vincent Battilana (Burger)


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