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Razorcake #84
Tim Version, Ordinary Life LP + bonus 7"
Radon, 28 LP
Zisk #25
Razorcake #83


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Record Reviews

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ANGLEWORM:
…Ruin Your $cene: CD
Here’s a tip: do your album cover by hand. Computer-generated covers just look like shit. Their lyrics most likely came from the diary of a thirteen-year-old while their music (Leftöver Crack-esque ska) shows hints of originality in spots. The low point of the disc is the pseudo instrumental track. Though punk rock isn’t always about being in key, bands usually pick up the speed when they aren’t pitch perfect. These guys, however, choose to be slow and out of tune. Shame on them. Bryan Static –Guest Contributor (Triumph Of Life)


ANGRIES, THE / HOORAY FOR EVERYTHING:
Split: 7"
The Angries: Pissed-as-shit lyrics/vocal delivery with a sorta jangly, Wipers-ish guitar sound that somehow manages to totally fit. Hooray For Everything: Little more conventional guitar with a vocalist who occasionally reminds me just the tiniest little bit of Penelope Houston. (And someone else I can’t quite put my finger on. It’ll come to me about five minutes after I turn this review in, I’m sure...) I should love this, but something just isn’t clicking. This is not a bad release in any way and you should definitely check it out. The songs are well-written, well played, and sung with conviction. I’m just not goin’ gaga for it or anything. This could change with repeated spins, but for now this doesn’t seem that essential –Ryan Horky (Self-released, angries.net)


ANGRY 4 LIFE:
Some Songs We Recorded 2004-2006: CD
I’m gonna give this CD the thumbs up. It has that speedy and melodic skate punk feel that I like. Just like their name, these guys also have a lot of lyrics about being angry at life, which is fine by me (although these guys really seem too hung up on drinking away their pain, as they mention it in around five of the songs). When I was looking these guys up, I also learned a new genre of punk which I never heard of, which is trall punk. I guess you discover something new everyday. The stand out track to me is “The Sky Is Falling.” There’s a catchy violin line in that song that just really throws it over the top for me. The rest of the album is good, but I wish more of it was more memorable and would stick with me as much as that one song. –Adrian (Co-release: Hungry Ghosts, Infected, Jerk Off, Lokos, Tic Tac Totally, Vinehell, White Trash Taco)


ANGRY 4 LIFE / ULICZNY OPRYSZEK:
Split: 7”
Reviews like this are sometimes the hardest to write. This split just isn’t terribly arresting, but at no point did I feel the urge to throw my record player out the window. It’s just one of those cases where there are some punk songs on a little piece of vinyl that spins around when you put the needle on it. Uliczny Opryszek is a Polish band that sings songs in their native tongue (with English translations) about religion being dumb and staying punk forever, complete with namedrops of the Exploited and Conflict. Angry 4 Life’s from San Jose and are generous enough to include the chord progressions to one of their songs. It’s recorded well (always good to see Bart Thurber and House of Faith are still around) and both bands seem to be shooting for that anthemic, songalong kind of streetpunk thing, but again, there’s just nothing to really grab onto and lurch around with while the record spins. Sorry, guys. –Keith Rosson (Cat Food Money)


ANGRY AMPUTEES:
Slut Bomb: CD
I remember seeing this band up in Santa Barbara a few years back, and damn if this CD doesn’t remind me of how cool of a live band these Angry Amputees are (speaking of Satan Barbara, aren’t the fifteen minutes up for that band, The Ataris? Who’s in charge of watching the clock and keeping time? Their fifteen minutes are over, for fuck’s sake. They need to go away. Now. How dare that band desecrate the happy memories of early ‘80s home videogaming, especially mine in grade school. FUCK!). Ahem… anyways, this is a band you should be checking out. It’s chock fulla chunked-up rock punk that I found myself playing more and more this past week, kind of like the catchy commercial on the television you catch yourself humming along to word-for-word unexpectedly. Not to compare the Amputees to a TV commercial, ‘cause that wouldn’t be fair – commercials usually get the finger from yours truly, but the Angry Amputees get both my thumbs up. Enough hooks and different song tempos to keep your fat head occupied for awhile, not just the same old thrash and bash with monkey beats in the background. Choice butcher block cuts here include “Vanity Fair Blackout,” “She’s Got It All,” and the wonderfully done, early Muffs-sounding rocker, “Put Me to Bed.” Not a bad release, not bad at all. –Designated Dale (Dead Teenager)


ANGRY ANGLES:
Self-titled: 7”
Alix from The Lids and Jay Reatard. What else do you need to know? Doesn’t retread their other bands but just as great and highly recommended. Tight, bed-jumping rock. Has the expected Urinals cover and a Phil Spector-ish song that you will hum everywhere you go… just don’t sing the words in public. –Speedway Randy (Shattered)


ANGRY ANGLES:
Apparent-Transparent: 7”
Oh man this band keeps delivering. Jay Reatard and Alix from The Lids, if you haven’t heard. Redefining new wave in good form: sometimes moody, sometimes fast sounds without pretentious goth or keyboards. They are all business without an inch of waste, from the poppy title track to the haunting “You Fell in” and a killer, cover of “The 15th” by Wire. All of their singles come highly recommended. –Speedway Randy (Plastic Idol)


ANGRY ANGLES:
Apparent Transparent: 7”
I think Mario at Plastic Idol and I are on a very similar page when it comes to music. I have yet to hear any of his releases and not be taken with them. Angry Angles are no exception. My only mistake was not ordering it soon enough, and the first pressing sold out in two days. Luckily for me, Mario reissued it (this time on yellow vinyl and with different colors on the cover). For some reason, I always remember this having keyboards (which it doesn’t). Two originals and a Wire cover on the b-side. –Megan Pants (Plastic Idol)


ANGRY DEAD PIRATES, THE:
Garage Music for Mind and Body: LP
At this point, garage rock seems to be the premiere scene of rock music for the last decade or so. Sometimes, that’s great. I love a good garage record, but it seems to translate to letting a lot of bands just sort of phone it in. Just enough slack in the vocals to make it sound like the singer doesn’t care, just enough reverb in the guitar to make it sound like guitarist is always about to miss the notes, just enough simplicity in the drums to never confuse anyone where the song is going. It just gets rather uninspiring sometimes. Angry Dead Pirates at their best do what at least a hundred other bands do, but not in a way that raises your eyebrows. You simply see it, think, “Yeah, that sounds alright,” and move on with your day. Interchangeable garage rock. Grade: C.  –Bryan Static (Frantic City, franticcity.free.fr / Barbarella Club / Laboratoire)


ANGRY FOR LIFE:
Sharks and Roaches: CD
If this spew of mediocre pop punk (think about early Bad Religion or early Screeching Weasel, only less musically competent and interesting), generic lyrics about individuality and, like, resistance and shit, bro, had come out twenty-five years ago, someone might have cared then. As it is, I don’t because this says nothing to me about my life or what I face. Hell, I doubt it says anything meaningful to someone in high school who really thinks that Yellowcard’s lyrics are profound. –Puckett (Vinehell)


ANGRY FOR LIFE / DUN BIN HAD:
Split: 7"
Oh no, I don’t need 1996 all over again. I have had enough ska punk and melodic hardcore to last me a lifetime. This has been proven by listening to this single. Angry For Life sound like one of many bands on Fearless or Lethal Records in that era. Dun Bin Had mix their melodicore with some ska for extra ’96-ness. If you miss Falling Sickness or Dynamite Boy you could do worse than this single, I suppose. –Mike Frame (Vinehell)


ANGRY GODS:
“Greyed Delay” b/w “The Swell”: 7”
Holy shit, these guys are gnarly. If I had to describe this record in one word it would be “heavy.” The cover is a photograph of a desolate Midwest-looking winter while the back looks to be the same spot during spring. If I had to guess, I would say that these guys recorded this record during the cover photograph and released it when the back happened. These two songs both seem to be about the weather—dark, grey, cold weather. I hate any weather below seventy degrees; if I had to live in the snow, I’m sure I would make music this pissed off too. Check this record out if Folgers isn’t working for you.  –Ryan Nichols (Nervous Habit, nervoushabitrecords@gmail.com, nervoushabitrecords.storeenvy.com)


ANGRY SNOWMANS:
Self-titled: CD
Nothing chaps my hide more than the thought of folks being oppressed, and the best punk rock has always managed to highlight the plight of those living under the boot heel of some asshole exploiter. This album is a heartfelt primal scream from one of the most brutally overworked, yet criminally overlooked class of worker. I’m talking, of course, about Santa’s elf helpers. Three hundred and sixty five days a year (sixty six on leap year, thanks to Pope Gregory) these folks are worked in conditions Dickens would’ve found revolting to sate the greed of a planet and the obsessions of an overweight sadist with a thing for red pajamas. The Snowmans repurpose twenty of punk rock’s finest songs from the likes of the Misfits, Adolescents, D.I., (Canada’s) Subhumans, Minor Threat, Youth Brigade, Dead Kennedys, and, yes, the Angry Samoans to call attention to the deplorable conditions the “Elves of the North Pole” have endured for millennia, with titles like “Ebeneezer Über Alles,” “Richard Hung His Sock,” “Somebody’s Gonna Get Their Halls Decked in Tonight,” and “Slave to Saint Nick.” These socially aware recreations of punk classics are executed so damn well makes this a must for your favorite anarchist rally. Fucking Santa Claus. I’d shoot the fucker out of the sky next Christmas, but it’d only render the poor little fellas unemployed. –Jimmy Alvarado (myspace.com/angrysnowmans)


ANGRY SNOWMANS:
Self-titled: CD
It’s weird getting a Christmas CD in June and even more odd is me listening to one. A fun collective from Victoria, BC who have taken the model that Manic Hispanic have made popular and bring you elf-core. They take many OC and punk classics and put on the X-mas and elf flavor on top. Taking the Misfits “Last Caress” and making it into “Last Christmas” or converting the Adolescents classics “Kids of the Black Hole” and “Amoeba” into “Elves of the North Pole” and “Hannukah.” Definitely a keeper and that one record you go to when making X-mas mix tapes for you friends as gifts. I wonder if they only play the last three months of the year? –Donofthedead (Angry Snowmans, myspace.com/angrysnowmans.com)


ANGRY SNOWMANS:
Self-titled: CD
Classic punk tunes from the likes of Adolescents, Angry Samoans, Ramones, Misfits, etc. are done up by some of Santa’s most disgruntled elves, protesting the horrid working conditions on the North Pole as a result of the jolly old slave driver’s increasingly demanding schedule as the heavily commercialized take on Christmas becomes a year-round endeavor. These elves just wanna cut loose and drink some ‘nog, but Santa’s always harshing their mellow. What a dick. There is something, however, that you can do, dear reader. And that is pick this up and listen and merry make so that you can help the elves restore some of their lost Yuletide cheer. –Jeff Proctor (myspace.com/angrysnowmans)


ANGRY SNOWMANS:
What We Do Is Festive: LP
I’m not really nuts about Christmas music in general, and I’m REALLY not nuts about Christmassed-up punk, or any Christmas-based rock ‘n’ roll for that matter. You can’t really punk out Christmas, and you can’t really Christmas-out punk—they just don’t go particularly well together ((although getting punk records for Christmas is certainly all reet)), and don’t really need to BE together, if’n you ask me. I’d just as soon listen to those songs from the Rankin-Bass Christmas specials of my youth than listen to punk songs re-done in an X-mas motif, really—but, that said, a lot of these songs really are pretty clever ((Black Flag’s “Jealous Again” as “Joyeux Again,” “Operation” by the Circle Jerks as “Decoration,” and “Wasted Life” by Stiff Little Fingers as the inarguably epic “Wasted Elf”)), so if you’re into this sort of thing, you can buy with confidence and not bother fucking with a gift receipt. First Toymaker to the King represent! BEST SONG: “Wasted Elf,” maybe “Decoration.” BEST SONG TITLE: “What We Do Is Festive” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Although the front cover is a Yuletide take-off on the Germs album cover, the insert provides a similarly brilliant spoof of “Back From Samoa.” –Rev. Norb (Stiff Hombre)


ANGRY SNOWMANS:
What We Do Is Festive: LP
This is a difficult gig: a punk rock Christmas / comedy album. For example: I already hated the much-compromised modern Vandals, so when they released Oi! to the World, I actively started hating their fans. It is against these overwhelming odds that the Angry Snowmans’ What We Do Is Festive melts my black coal of a heart and replaces it with a blinking red Rudolf nose. They invert both punk’s cynicism and Christmas’s consumerism. Punk joy? Wide-eyed, child-like wonderment of a fun time of year? That’s what this record is. Instead of crooning Bing Crosby and Burl Ives, it’s belligerent Bing and sauced-up Burl ripping the wrapping off the Germs, Fear, Black Flag, Zero Boys, X, Misfits, Fear, (“(I Love) Christmas in the City”), and many more. It’s done in a lovingly manner, extremely punk-knowledgeably, often hysterically. Overthrowing the oppressive North Pole regime never sounded so good. Play it from the day after Thanksgiving until January 1, and we’ve got no beef. Outside of that, the reindeer gets punched. Awesome –Todd Taylor (Stiff Hombre)


ANIMAL EYE / GREEN SCREEN DOOR:
Split: Cassette
Animal Eye play some art punk that has some hyper near-thrash elements, with a synth to put a coldness in the room. The singer sounds detached and like he’s singing from across the street. Green Screen Door have a similar sound to Animal Eye, only with more urgency. Which is what’s needed. If it’s punk, it has to have urgency. They lose steam at the end with “Reckless Recluse.” –Matt Average (Midas, midasrecordings.wordpress.com)


ANIMAL HAIR:
Auz Poj/Image Is Nothing: Cassette
This is a cool psychedelic/droney jammer that brings to mind many different bands (that I could list), but at the same time sounds like none of them (so I won’t). It’s heavy at times with (for the lack of a better term) “pretty”-sounding guitar leads interwoven over an unmodulated backbone. I just wish there was more here, as it’s a quick listen. Good stuff.  –Mark Twistworthy (Bummer Tapes, bummertapes.bandcamp.com)


ANIMAL INSTINCT:
Unfinished Business: LP
Pretty solid gruff hardcore from this band from Switzerland. Sounds like a cross between Warzone and more recent European stuff like Dead Stop. There are gang chorus vocals for days and the tempo is pretty quick. There is a Killing Time cover on here, leading me to believe the NYHC influence is not accidental. –Mike Frame (Take It Back)


ANIMAL LOVER:
Self-titled: 7"
Noise rock from a band that knows how to lock into a groove and milk from it every ounce of chaos possible. While they don’t let up on the volume for one second, they do know how to manipulate the throttle to keep things interesting. –Jimmy Alvarado (Bumpkin Pie)


ANIMALISTICS, THE:
Run Amuck: CD
One thing is for sure. The Animalistics really, really like Dayglo Abortions. To the point that you might even be able to play this disc for a seasoned Dayglo fan (or a band member, perhaps?) and convince them that it is a lost recording from 1982 or so. In sound and content, these guys got it nailed. The good thing about it is that they emulate the band from the early days before the cheesy metal guitars and Dungeons & Dragons lyrics. The bad part is that it gets old a bit fast. I’d still go out of my way to see them play if they came to town, though. –Ty Stranglehold (theanimalistics@hotmail.com)


ANIMATRONICS, THE:
2000: The Year of the Future: CD
They sound like a weak Vapors cover band on a Devo kick. –Jimmy Alvarado (Morphius, PO Box 13474, Baltimore, MD 21203)


ANITA:
Self-titled: CDEP
College rock that kind of reminded me of Bob Mould or his band Sugar. –Donofthedead (www.anitamusic.com)


ANN BERETTA:
Three Chord Revolution: CD
Man, my wife is going to love this! One Man Army meets the Plimsouls. I need to give this to her now before she tells me that I never turn her on to new music again. –Donofthedead (Union)


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