AGENT: I Wouldn’t Trade That for Anything: CDEP

Agent’s five song EP of melodic hardcore bears a striking resemblance to a lot of other bands of the same genre such as Braid, Lifetime, or Dag Nasty. The vocals, which go between spoken words that are kind of sung and gravelly yells, remind me of this band I knew in Indiana called Clark. I liked that band a lot and so Agent did somewhat endear themselves to me. There are lots of hooks and some catchy parts and it all times in at around thirteen minutes. It’s not anything much worth talking about especially since it’s just five songs. Maybe a full-length will be in order so that I (and no doubt a lot of other listeners) can make a complete decision on this Long Island band. –Kurt Morris (Iron Pier)

ALLEGED BRICKS: Place Your Blame: CD

Oi-influenced punk with low, deep gargling vocals and the occasional shout out anthem. This brings to mind The Wretched Ones or The Suspects, mixed with slow NYHC breakdowns. This feels a bit bogged down at times, so the peppier songs come across better, such as in “Backpack” and “The Pain.” They do a Bad Brains cover of “Don’t Bother Me” with what sounds like someone else singing. Overall this is solid, but somewhat unremarkable. –KO! (Street Anthem)

AWESOME SNAKES, THE: Venom: CD

What is it with all the snake related band names? Off the top of my head I can think of Hot Snakes, The Charming Snakes, These Arms Are Snakes, Iceage Cobra, The Detroit Cobras, and now the Awesome Snakes. There’s almost as many snake bands names as there are wolf band names. If you’re thinking of using wolf or snake in your band name, don’t do it. There are enough other animals to pick from. Other dumb, (or funny, depending on your sense of humor) things about this band: the CD cover has umlauts over the “A’s” and a picture of a cock rocker’s tight leather pants-clad crotch. I’d laugh, but hasn’t making fun of ‘80s cock rock been done to death? All the songs are simple, herky-jerky punk done with just a drummer and a bassist/singer, which makes economical sense for a band since it’s hard enough to make money playing rock’n’roll with three or more people. Maybe they just thought it would sound better with two people, but I can really notice the missing instruments. Other than the songs, which almost all have the word “snakes” in them, there are some music “collages” and sampled old songs with the word “snakes” being thrown in to substitute other words. Overall, this seems like a joke band that must be really funny for the people who made it, but for the rest of us it’s worth listening to maybe once at the most. –Jason Donnerparty (Crustacean)

BAD ASTRONAUT: Twelve Small Steps, One Giant Disappointment: CD

Emotionally, this record is a sad one. It is melodic, but it carries a very dark tone. Reading that longtime collaborator to the side project, Derrick Plourde, committed suicide while in the middle of recording explains the mood. So, reading on, Joey Cape (Lagwagon), carries on the project in memory. Not something I would listen to on the regular, but I can see that something special came out of this. As much as I kinda like their previous releases, this final recording is strong. It gave me the feeling of listening to emotions brought up by R.E.M. You choose. –Donofthedead (Fat)

BAMBOO KIDS: Feel Like Hell: CD

Everyone tells me I should be a big Devil Dog fan, but I’m not. If you are, buy this. Its really that simple. –Speedway Randy (Empty)

BARRY, TIM: Rivanna Junction: CD

I can’t do any justice for this release. I am not a fan of solo acoustic performances. If the name sounds familiar, Tim is the lead singer of Avail. This solo project seems sincere and introspective. But it’s a tough sell on a guy who loves the sound of distorted guitars majority of the time. I might be wrong, but I would believe fans of Against Me! would have a connection to these songs. –Donofthedead (Suburban Home)

BIG FUCKIN SKULL: Fuckin Skulls Kill Kill: CDEP

Of all the End Times eschatologies being promulgated out there these days, none seem more befitting our worthless species than the one based on the murderous rampage of an enormous disembodied humanoid skull with wings and its insatiable appetite for human bodies, which it munches on like so much screaming Jiffy Pop popcorn. Seems to me as plausible as any of the pudding-headed apocalypse scenarios that have grown up like stink weeds from Jehovah’s Bible and it’s certainly as colorful. And giving us a blow-by-blow account of it as it all unfolds in it’s blood-slopped beauty, is not some shrill, multi-chinned toad of a televangelist, but a group of mean-spirited, real life Clockwork Orange-type thugs in skull make-up with unabashed tastes in ultra-violence and bench pressing. This compact six song sampler comes across like a pair of brass knuckles right in the choppers and it almost seems to laugh at you as you gag on your own broken teeth. This is Misfits style street punk complete “whoa-oh-oh” backing vocals and plenty of cool fuckin swear words that Danzig’s Scientology etiquette would never allow him to utter. Cool fuckin shit. Now how about if you guys take some time off from randomly beating people up and finish up that full-length we’ve been hearing about for the last few years? –Aphid Peewit (JD Music Productions, www.jdmusicpro.com)

BLACK HELICOPTER: Invisible Jet: CD

Boring indie rock on Thurston Moore’s label. Ex-members of Green Magnet School turn in some Shellac meets Sonic Youth songs. Never been a fan of this style. –Mike Frame (Ecstatic Peace)

BLACK TIME: Dance Party: 7”

I finally saw a clean (and –gasp-color) photo of Black Time. Am I mad they look presentable, two nice punk lads and a striped-shirt lady, enjoying a summer day, even smiling? Yes. I know you three are on your way to see Godard’s Vivre sa Vie in a shitty old movie theater and will walk out afterwards doing the dance by Anna Karina from the café jukebox scene. But just scowl or look sick once in a while, or my tough rock image of you is all gone. This single is actually a little by-the-dirty-garage-punk-numbers for me, compared to their other 45s. But still recommended. Karina would dance to it at the house party. –Speedway Randy (Bancroft Records, smashintransistors.homestead.com)

BLACK TIME: Fever: 7”

You had me at “mono.” The Black Time’s sound cannot exist unless coming out of a vinyl groove. However there is gonna be a few missteps with the tour de forces. Both versions of “Fever” feel incomplete, sluggish instead of the Time’s usual blasting power. But then the other two songs here, which add up to less time than either Fever, are great. “Secret” is a stabby spy thing, “Consumers” is a fuck you, we know we can’t play, but we sound good up here! Now that I think about the title and the vibe, this 45 is a piece of fever, hot, delirious and confusing, but fun. God that’s cheesy, but I swear it works. –Speedway Randy (trakMARX, trakmarx.com)

BLOWFLY: Butt Pirate Luv: 7”

“Butt Pirate Luv” is a dirty take on the Heartbreakers’ “Pirate Love.” Playing is really good, the lyrics are good for one laugh and that’s about it. The flip song “F U in the A” is self explanatory. A real ass fest going on here, not that you would expect anything less from Blowfly. Novelty song fans will love it. –Mike Frame (Steel Cage)

BLUE SKIES FOR BLACK HEARTS: Love is Not Enough: CD

Yawn… More generic pop music. British Invasion-ish. From Portland, Oregon. It’s not bad, but it doesn’t excite me. There is really nothing else to say. –Jennifer Whiteford (King of Hearts)

BRASS CASTLE: CD

Heavy rock disc on Jucifer’s label from this Atlanta band. This is alright, but there is a lot of this being released right now and this just doesn’t stack up. Sounds like Bad Wizard, Cherry Valence, or Big Business, just not as good. Seems like ironic heavy rock whether that is the intention or not. –Mike Frame (Velocette)

BRASSCASTLES: A43-012-2(?): CD

Sort of a fucked up take on ‘70s hard rock and metal that is weird and messy enough to seem interesting. It kind of reminds me of early ‘90s bands like Karp or Godheadsilo. I liked the really horrible sounding Rolling Stones type ballad too. –Jason Donnerparty (Velocette)

BUCK GOOTER: TV Evangelist Song: CD

Second record from this duo from Harrisonburg, VA. Weird, wild and wacky. There’s a lot of flange on these guitars—I mean a lot. But sometimes the odd songwriting of this band comes through. “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead” and “I’ve Got Damn Age” feature some creative lyrics. Note to album designer Ben—your pic of the lightning bolt looks a lot like that Bad Brains cover. But other than that, it is a different record that succeeds on its own merits. Whether that will wet your whistle is up to you—the adventurous listener to decide. –Sean Koepenick (Blacks Run)

BULLYS, THE: BQE Overdrive: CD

Ehhh; a combination of street punk/hardcore riffs, mixed with “we’re badass, we totally don’t care what you think” attitudes. I pretty much made up my mind by “Pop Is For Fags.” Yeah, you don’t care what people think, I get it. I guess that makes two of us. –Joe Evans III (The Bullys)

BRYCE AUBREY: Boom Bang City: CD

Lou Reed and Paul Westerberg couldn’t sing. Fortunately for them, they were two of rock’s best lyricists. Like Papa Lou and Uncle Paul, Bryce Aubrey also cannot sing. The clincher: he can’t write a good song either. Bummer. –Ryan Leach (Self-released, www.bryceaubrey.com)

BULLCOCK: Hog Nuts: CD

Look at the band name and the album title. Do you love Nashville Pussy, Hookers, and The Supersuckers? Lap it up, dood. –Mike Frame (Static)

CAESAR PINK & IMPERIAL ORGY: Gospel Hymns For Agnostics & Atheists: CD

Nineties alterna-rock with a slight funk influence. Edie Brickell fans will wanna be all over this one. Only four songs, but that’s plenty. –Mike Frame (Chief Logan)

CHELSEA SMILES, THE: Thirty Six Hours Later: CD

Hmm, this band sounds like one of those ones that have a press sheet that talks about how they’re making old fashioned rock’n’roll like it’s supposed to be, with songs about drugs, drinking, and women. I also imagine this band probably has a guitarist that always has to smoke while he’s playing to show just how badass he is. As far as the music, it just comes off like a bunch of rock clichés. Covers of the Joneses’ “Pillbox” and the New York Dolls’ “Chatterbox” just serve to make one want to listen to the aforementioned bands instead of fourth or fifth generation imitators. About the only thing I can think of is that these are the kind of songs that people starts to play in this day and age when they are way too comfortable in the assurance that they probably look good in leather and will probably get laid before the night’s over for no other reason than that they have “Attitude” (err… drinking and drug problem). I really can’t stand those kind of guys. –Adrian (Acetate)

CITIZEN FISH/LEFTOVER CRACK: Baby Punchers/Meltdown: Split 7”

Who still listens to ska-punk anyway? Ha, ha just because I stopped caring in the late ‘90s doesn’t mean that it’s not still a relevant, legitimate form of punk rock expression. Besides, who can trash-talk the unassailable pedigree of a band like Citizen Fish? Or the endlessly funny song title of Leftover Crack’s “Baby Punchers”? Yes, ska-punk is alive and well and will continue to be in 2007 when Fat Wreck Chords releases the full-length split that this 7” is just a taste of. Until then, just pop this little disc on and get ready to skank or froog or whatever it is you ska-punk heads do these days. —Susan Chung (Fat)

COMMUNIQUE: Walk Into the Light: CDEP

New wave with keyboards from ex-American Steel members. I don’t listen to the radio at all lately, but it sounds like someone current that has a MTV song out right now. –Donofthedead (Sabot)

CRETEENS, THE: 4-Track Blues: 7”

Raw vocals and dirt guitar, coarse but pretty damn catchy. But I love 4-track 45s and taking long walks through landfills. An Oblivians-Motard baby? Yeah, I could say that because there is a great Oblivians cover on this. But hell, the other songs are called “Contaminated” and “I’m Not Going 2 Tell U How Much I Think About U.” So what do you think they sound like? And they're the teen cretins, get it?? Recommended for your love blisters.–Speedway Randy (Contaminated Records, www.contaminatedrecords.com)

CRIPPLE BASTARDS: Your Lies in Check: CD

I can’t believe it’s been three years since this band hit these shores. That was a highlight in my grindcore history. Right off the plane from Italy and absolutely owned when they blistered through their set on their first date of that tour. I missed the original first release and actually many of them. But I know my brother owns most or all of them, so it’s not far from reach to hear them. A welcome re-release of their very first record that has not seen the light of day for the past ten years. I don’t know what the original pressing would go for on eBay, but I’m not that obsessive anymore. I don’t have the need to own every original pressing known to man. Before me is the music. Music that is currently one of my preferred choice at the moment. I guess my inner anger needs feeding. This is food for my scarred soul. Sixty-nine songs of pure hate in fourty-nine minutes. Grindcore of vile screams, guttural bellows and a lot of yelling. Music that is short, fast and to the point. Slow parts that are heavy and dirgey, showing no signs of fun. It’s no wonder that these maniacs from Italy have a large underground following and have continued on for over ten years. Not everybody can do grindcore. It’s not an easy genre to like. But done right, it seems like the right soundtrack for those sour moods. This is that good and the live experience is even better. If your idea of grindcore is a band like Cannibal Corpse. Forget that. To me, this seems so much more real and alive. –Donofthedead (Crimes Against Humanity)

CRISIS: Holocaust Hymns: CD

Re-release of a couple singles and a 12” EP of the band from the late seventies. This sounds essentially like Warsaw/Joy Division with Crass-ish politics, and that certain brand of English shouted vocals. Moody, minimalist, raw post punk. A few members of this band went on to form Death In June. You may have heard “Holocaust” covered by a wee little band called Upright Citizens in the mid-‘80s. –KO! (Apop)

DIVISION DAY: Beartrap Island: CD

God damn Eric Carle-esque artwork suckered me into picking this one out of the stack. I knew it would be soft, but I thought it might be fun-soft. Not crappy indie rock soft. Oh yeah, and someone told me they’re named after an Elliot Smith song, isn’t that interesting. Yeah, I didn’t think so either. –Daryl (Division Day)

FAGS, THE: Light ‘Em Up: CD

This Detroit three-piece sounds enough like Cheap Trick to warrant the vast effusion of Cheap Trick comparisons, i suppose (mainly the vocals, and that’s only at times, but when it does kick in, it’s pretty spot-on), but the untold story behind this statement is that it’s sort of a three-piece Cheap Trick that they sound like, and the three guys left standing in said version are Robin, Tom, and Bun E—.–ergo, don’t expect much in the way of Rick-like genius at either the songwriting nor guitar solo ends of the spectrum. Ultimately, it kinda sounds like if Robin Zander worked out a lot, got some but not all of the Go to be his backing band, and played an entire album’s worth of Vandalias and Exploding Hearts covers, except all the songs involved drinking beer and smoking cigarettes, ‘cause that’s just how we roll. Occasionally sounds like .38 Special, but, then again, so did All. Fun until someone starts waving a lighter, one supposes. BEST SONG: “Tonite” BEST SONG TITLE: “Truly, Truly” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Production assistance by former Brownsville Station member Michael Lutz! W00t! –Rev. Nørb (Idol)

FAKE PROBLEMS: Spurs & Spokes: 7” AND Spurs and Spokes/Bull>Matador: CDEP

It’s strange that I would get both of these in my in-box at HQ. It’s kind of basically the same thing but the CD has a few re-recorded songs from their debut release. First band I thought of when the music came pouring out of my speakers was Against Me!, but with more emphasis on a country sound mixed with a hint of The Strokes. Not my choice of beer if I was shopping at the market, but it might be someone else’s. –Donofthedead (Sabot)

FAKE PROBLEMS: Spurs and Spokes: 7”EP

It’s a fact of musical life. There will be bands that redefine the musical landscape. They will leave their impression—thumbprints, riffs, beats—on hundreds of bands to follow, running the gamut from the direct, cheap lifting of musical notes like temporary tattoos, to the channeling of harder-to-place, intangible spirit of a band. Fake Problems straddles that saddle. At times, I believe they’ve got an original game plan: deft fusion of country and folk punk, all under the halo of DIY, and I like it. Other times, and you can almost picture them craning closer to the stereo’s speakers, cranking the volume, and, asking out loud, “How’d Against Me! do it?” Here’s to hoping Fake Problems aren’t content with choosing flash from wall, but continue ink and color their own originals. –Todd (Sabot)

FALLEN SLEEPLESS: In Seething Dreams: CD

This is a dash of emo with just a hint of screamo. I tried to get into this, but repeated listenings drove me into a brick wall. Somewhere, someone is getting use out of this one other than as a coffee table coaster. I already got coasters, so this does me no good. –Sean Koepenick (Round 3)

FED UPS, THE: Such is Life: CD

Decent enough punk here that kinda reminds me of some of the early L.A./O.C. punk stuff. Although the vocals—a little too monotone and lacking oomph—and the recording quality—ditto—don’t really do it for me, the songs themselves, especially “Angry Fuck,” were strong enough to get me to listen to this more than once, and they get stronger as the CD progresses. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.thefed-ups.com)

FRANTIC, THE: Self-titled; CDEP

If I see a big stereo on the cover, I’m going to immediately expect The Figgs (Lo-fi at Society High is well worth checking out). Those kinds of expectations make it pretty easy to be let down. It isn’t that this is necessarily bad, but if you can’t hold my interest through four songs, we’ve got a bit of a problem. –Megan (www.the-frantic.com)

GERTIE FOX: An Imaginary Meeting in the Woods: CD

I’m not sure this album would appeal to many Razorcake readers, unless they, like me, harbor a semi-secret love for earnest indie pop. Unlikely. This album contains lots of pretty harmonies, catchy tunes, a few “wooo oooo”s thrown in for good measure. The kind of songs that creep up on you and get stuck in your head for days. The boys in Gertie Fox know what they’re doing, but if you’re reading this magazine, chances are you won’t really care about that. Me, I’m going to crawl under the covers and put this album on my headphones when I’m feeling the melancholy Canadian winter seeping in. –Jennifer Whiteford (Gertie Fox)

GRUK: Razor: 7”

Six boombox-quality thrashers by this female led band from Chico, CA. The recording has such a live quality that when the actual live song came, on it didn’t really phase me. Vocals that are screamed, guitar that sounds thin and twangy, bass that is a bit flat, and drums that that could easily be mistaken as trash cans. Instruments sounding slightly out of tune, but the DIY quality makes it appealing. This reminds me of the first wave of American thrash in the ‘80s. A lot of what was coming out was not perfect, but the energy cut right through. If they keep it together, I should see them in a venue near me sometime soon. I can picture this band being so much better live. –Donofthedead (Gruk)

GUITAR FUCKER: Maximum Napalm Blues: CD

Songs off of this album include: “Porn Flakes,” “In Bed with Mickey Mouse,” “Peter Pan’s Toilet Boy,” “Fuck Me I’m Poor.” Pretty self-explanatory. I’d use this disc for skeet shooting, but my girlfriend took my shotgun away cuz she was afraid I’d end up shooting myself in the head. –Ryan Leach (Little Records, www.little.ch)

HAUNTED GEORGE: Bone Hauler: CD

There is a void left by The Cramps (yes, they still play, but for how long?!?) and Hasil Adkins that’s impossible to fill, at least by genuine new blood. Thank the Lord for Haunted George. Steve Pallow from the Necessary Evils and the Beguiled plays one-boogieman-band rock with wobbly vocals and killer guitar—his fuzz pedal seeps into your brain, turning you into a human amp, drafted into his zombiarmy, conquering the world with ghoul tactics and body slams. Moody, contagious songs you will hum for days. Get this on vinyl or never survive the desert. –Speedway Randy (Dead Beat Records, www.dead-beat-records.com)

GUTS, THE: Sometimes You Just Can’t Win: CD

Maybe it’s because I had a lot of the Asian Man pop punk reissues in my review pile this rotation, and maybe I’ve just overdosed on pop punk, but I just don’t like this record. –Megan (Cheapskate)

HEAVY HEARTS: Self-titled: CDEP

Indie rock that’s stuck in the ‘90s: undeniable Jawbox, Fugazi and Versus influences. I’m so outta touch with this scene that I didn’t know people made music that sounded like this anymore. Not my cup of slop, but okay if you like the three bands mentioned above. –Josh Benke (The Swingline)

HEROINES, THE: Hurts So Good: CD

A few things came to mind when I popped this in the player. A band I reviewed a few issues ago, Bang! Bang!, the second Soviettes record, and a non-psychobilly version of the Horror Pops. A lot of pop punk energy with a dominating rock force in the songs. Like a touch of AC/DC to punch things up. This band from Germany has a good formula that catches this listener’s attention right off the bat. I could see this band’s popularity rise if they can continue and broaden their exposure. –Donofthedead (Wolverine)

HIPSHAKES, THE: Not Oblivians E.P.: 7”

This 7” is called Not Oblivians E.P. cuz the two original songs on it (“Big Black Hole,” “Never Enough”) share the same name as (surprise!) Oblivians’ ones. Okay. To further the garage-punk link, the album’s on Goner Records (you know, the Memphis-based label that sometimes releases Jay Reatard’s records; the same one that put out the Reigning Sound live album—recorded at their storefront—last year). Anyway, yeah, this album sounds a lot like the Oblivians—with a bass guitar. In short: it’s really boring. Apparently the Hipshakes have forgotten it’s 2006, and simply rehashing Eric, Greg and Jack’s old shtick (you know—Swamp Rats mixed with the Misfits) is really redundant. (I mean, there are—like—thousands of bands currently doing the same thing.) And while I’m not debating the difficulty of replicating the Oblivians’ sound (it’s harder than one thinks), it’s time to move on (see the Reigning Sound’s last album, Miss Alex White and the Red Orchestra’s Self-titled record or the Deadly Snakes’ Porcella). Ultimately, the Hipshakes sound only slightly more informed than those campy bands replicating the “sound of ‘77.” –Ryan Leach (Goner)

HOMOSTUPIDS: The Glow: 7”

Oh hell. You keep thinking it can’t get scummier. The gutter has a bottom. Then filthy, smelly humans like Jeffrey Novak or The Fatals come along. And now Homostupid is taking music to Neanderthal levels. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t dicking around or making noise, this is screaming and fast gnarly Black Flagy guitar, fukkin controlled chaos and proud of it— you can even tell all the songs apart. I just saw a Nova episode showing that man and caveman lived alongside each other as very different species. This is us and Homostupid. Fucking hunting the same animals but cavemen were much more successful in the forests, in tight spaces. Scary spaces. Big ass forehead, yeah, but smart, man, smart. Homostupid is the next fukked up thing. –Speedway Randy (My Mind’s Eye Records, mymindseyerecords.com)

LIFE AND TIMES, THE: The Magician: CDEP

Five songs culled specifically for a Japanese release. Produced by J. Robbins. Lush, atmospheric, and full. “Killing Them Softly” and “The Sound of the Ground” are especially mesmerizing. If you dug Ride, Catherine Wheel, or any of those bands from awhile back, you’ll enjoy this teaser. Epley has done it again. I wonder how many cups of coffee he drinks every day. –Sean Koepenick (Stiff Slack)

LABOR PARTY: I Bleed: CD

Two band members are bald. One is not—that’s the chick. (Thank God, bald chicks freak me out.) This trio rocks with reckless abandon. Songs about despair, dead end jobs, and getting the right girl. “Coal Cracker” is about a white guy that won’t give up his dangerous occupation. A Phoenix band that deserves to be heard outside the desert. I would kill someone to see these guys on a double bill with The Knockout Pills. Good times. –Sean Koepenick (Steel Cage)

LADIES NIGHT / NO FEELING: Split: 7”

Ladies Night’s “Nazi Tomb” tumbles through the first side, garagey and ill-mannered, pretty lovable. Sounds good in October. No Feeling is a new band from the Ladies Night singer with two members of Vancougar, with two songs here. On the dirty garage side too, and I dig it. Their second song, “Holes,” is great, one of those wobbly, going-down-the-drain beats that makes you feel like you’re not alone. –Speedway Randy (Seeing Eye Records, seeingeyerecords.com)

LOCAL OAFS: Too Dumb To Reason, Too Fucked Up To Dream: LP

Awwwwwww its been so damn long that I got a record that blasts so fast and furious that you get a whoppin’ twenty-eight songs on one chunk of vinyl. This is fun punk, snappy, stabby guitars and drums, singing about what really matters with songs “I Really Don’t Know and I Really Don’t Care,” “I’m a P to the I Ending Up With the G” and “Nature Boy Strut,” about the professional wrestler Ric Flair. It’s not even sloppy, really, because you’d have to be shooting for high quality in order to slouch. No, this is raw for raw’s sake and the Oafs picked their name good. Band has two of The Manikins, probably pushing the stuff too fucked up for that band. A split release between P.Trash Records, Wasted Sounds, and Cage Match Federation. For the snot-nose in all of us. –Speedway Randy (P. Trash, ptrashrecords.com)

LOS RAW GOSPELS/THE PLUTONES: Split: 7”

At first I got that vibe of—is this on the right speed? Yep, in full 45 glory, two great scummy, twangy guitar bands. The Gospels may or may not be a side band of art fuzz Black Time–either way they share that band’s knack for quirky cool riffs and forceful enthusiasm over precision. But the Gospels are more B-movie than art film. The sludgy start is just a five second intro, and then they are off to the dirt track jumps. The Plutones come from the universe of The Fatals and Kung Fu Escalator but are more of a medium pace twang. Also kickass swamp rock. Melt this single down and you’ll get moonshine. –Speedway Randy (P. Trash Records, ptrashrecords.com)

LOOKER: Blacktop Accelerator: CD

This sounds like AC/DCish hard rock but a little bit faster. What’s funny is that I just saw This Is Spinal Tap again today and the first song seemed really reminiscent of “Tonight We’re Gonna Rock You.” Actually, a lot of the songs seemed like “Tonight We’re Gonna Rock You.” Unfortunately, there isn’t a song on here that can match up to the majesty of “Big Bottom.” –Jason Donnerparty (One Legged Pup)

MAKEOUTS, THE: Worst Band Ever: 7” EP

Totally competent (read incompetent, but in a special way) primary (maybe primal) rock’n’roll from Sweden that has more than merely laced on the Devil Dogs’ sneakers, but are soaking and inhaling in the reek. The good news is that’s a fine way to start a band. The bad news is that the Leghounds (and Kill-a-watts) already did and gasolined the works to crispy, delightful ends in the ‘00s. It’s much more satisfying hearing bands make their own footprints flame up when they stomp down, even if they didn’t invent fire. The Makeouts are smoldering now. I’d be interested more with more heat, more flame. –Todd (Bachelor)

ME FIRST AND THE GIMME GIMMES: Love Their Country: CD

I loved all their concepts thus far, but country? Hate it! Well not all of it. But it is right up there with emo. It was a tough listen at the beginning. But hearing the cover of John Denver’s “Annie’s Song” reminded me of elementary school. Next was a Dolly Parton cover! “Jolene!” Heck yeah! Love that song! Great job on that one. I put that one right up there with the version that was done by Strawberry Switchblade. Cool stuff! So now I’m way more attentive. I was ready to dismiss this but I found the hook that stuck. No matter how much I might not like something before a listen, give me a good cover and I am converted. Not one of my favorite releases by the super group. But there are two definite songs that I like and one I’m on the fence on. The Hank Williams cover done like it was a cross between Flogging Molly and the Dropkick Murphy’s making it Irish is interesting. –Donofthedead (Fat)

MINKS, THEE: Plaything: 7”

Two trashy garage numbers and a Ramones cover from this Female duo with a male drummer. The songs are a tad bit slow. With a boost in tempo, I think these songs would breathe a new life. This release did nothing for me—I would be more inclined to enjoy them live instead of sitting at home. –Donofthedead (Steel Cage)

MISS 45: CD

“High-heeled bitches, all I see. They’re not for me.” What? But if you are influenced by the New York Dolls, aren’t they exactly what you need? –Speedway Randy (No Talent Records, notalentrec.com)

MORNING RIOT, THE: Self-titled: CD

Garage influenced rock with sung/spoken vocals that remind me a bit of Ric Ocasek or The Wipers at times, and a few of those “I’m squeezing my balls” squeals. The CD has catchy guitar riffs, but overall this doesn’t have enough edge to be considered a punk record. This would appeal more to an indie rock crowd. At times this also reminded me of Moving Targets a bit, but then the more meandering, folkish, acoustic moments just killed that for me. Standout songs here are: “Pills,” “Bed Against the Wall,” “She Devil,” and “I’d Rather Die.” This would have been much stronger as a 7” release with those songs singled out. –KO! (Self-released)

MURDER BY GUITAR: Rock Bottom: 7”

Two-thirds of The Locomotions come together to make MBG; Loco Lopez (also of Sons of Cyrus) and Martin Savage (also of The Blacks and Dixie Buzzards). And this feels like a logical extension, continuing in the power pop direction of The Locomotions, but a little slower and controlled, maybe even more ‘70s radio friendly. The title track is great: popping guitars to get you moving into full head-nod. I guess the name of the band refers to too much nodding—snap your head! Side B is capable, “I’ll Be Gone” not memorable but the last song “Wrong Side of Town” confirms this band is gonna make a cool full-length in the future. Press kit says Real Kids backing up Roky Erickson on Teenage Head songs, that’s a pretty big expectation but I can’t entirely deny it. Turn up the radio. –Speedway Randy (Alien Snatch Records, www.aliensnatch.com)

NIGHT RALLY: Preston Family Crest: CD

A friend gave me this CD to listen to, saying it was some friends of hers. I never really know what to make of that and then I often feel like I have to lie about what I thought of it, because usually I hate CDs that I get by a band via some friend. That’s not so much the case here although I didn’t really like this album, either. After dozens of listens I feel very much the same way I did the first time I listened to it: indifferent. I’ve tried and tried and while the band’s indie rock sound had some catchy, fun aspects to it, there was also this more serious, ambient part that kind of ran as an undertone throughout the album. That is to say there was lots of distortion and reverb on the guitars. The album is divided in two parts with the first half being eight songs and then a minute of silence before the final seven tracks kick in. Besides one of those weird, avant-garde collaborations you might come across in some college town that will only play at some fucked up coffeehouse, I can’t think of much else to compare Night Rally to. And maybe that’s a good thing after all. –Kurt Morris (Night Rally)

ONE NIGHT BAND: Way Back Home: CD

Canadian ska of the traditional variety is what you get here. It’s clear they know what to do with a horn section, but on the whole they’re not really all that memorable. –Jimmy Alvarado (Stomp)

PAYBACKS, THE: Love, Not Reason: CD

I’m of two minds with the Paybacks, much like I am with the Bellrays. On the definite plus side of the equation is glorious, soulful, strident female vocals over hard rock and punk. Songs like “Love Letter” are anthemic, arena-filling stompers that showcase a voice that’s in league with both Aretha Franklin and Janice Joplin. Bitchin’ and well worth the listen. On the negative side—and I know it’s me—I hate solos, wig outs, jams, freak outs, and anyone playing Jimi Hendrix-inspired guitar who isn’t Jimi Hendrix. And there’s a fair amount of that in the Paybacks, too. 50/50. –Todd (Savage Jams, www.thepaybacks.com)

PTERADON: Demo: CD-R

So this guy wrote his address on a piece of paper and taped it to the face of this CD-R. The CD-R was also spray-painted. Plus, said CD-R was cracked nearly in half by the time it made it to me. All of this resulted the Pteradon demo being one unplayable motherfucker. –Keith Rosson (Pteradon)

RACIN’ FOR PINKS: More Songs About Corpses: CD

Hardcore with an occasional nod toward the less abrasive rock/punk pigeonhole. They’re loud ’n’ rambunctious, but something I can’t quite place seems to be missing from either the songs or the performance, resulting in a product that was neither lousy nor memorable. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.racinforpinks.com)

RAIN CITY SHWILLERS: Blood Dripping From A Six String: CD

This seems like the perfect band for the TKO Records crowd. One part Antiseen/Zeke/Confederacy of Scum style and one part Bruisers/Wretched Ones style street punk. Nine songs recorded at Egg Studios in Seattle, so the sound quality is top notch. –Mike Frame (My Ruin, www.shwillers.com)

REDDMEN, THE: Arsenic Ballads: CD

Very poppy, but in the good way because these guys are too good to make it big on the radio. Buzzsaws and whiny-sounding vocals, sort of in line with stuff like the Lillingtons. I liked it. Granted, it didn’t make me want to spend four days in a cave with nothing but this to listen to, but I haven’t gotten tired of it yet, and I really look forward to what these guys are gonna do in the future, and I want to get a hold of their first record, too. Solid stuff from the South Dakota plains. –The Lord Kveldulfr (Not Bad)

RELIGIOUS AS FUCK: Self-titled: 7”

Short, angry, blasts of well-constructed hardcore punk with members of other prominent Gainesville punk bands. Dude, it’s dedicated to Pig Champion, and I don’t mean like on the liner notes they mention him, I mean like, it’s really dedicated to Pig Champion, it says it on the B side of the record. Why didn’t all you other dicks who released records do that? –Daryl (Religious As Fuck)

RIVER CITY HIGH: Not Enough Saturday Nights: CD

Pounding the same drumbarrel as dudes like the Black Furies and the Supersuckers—arena-flavored rock’n’roll with plenty of songs about women and what badasses the band members are, interspersed with the occasional “sensitive” ballad about looove, baby. I obviously don’t know these guys, so who am I to judge their intent or honesty, right? But solely as a listener, this record comes across as uber-glossy, they mention their caterer in the liner notes, and the whole endeavor oozes as much sincerity as a four-dollar bill. There’s nothing particularly offensive about it, but there’s nothing there that really reaches out and grabs the lovehandles either. –Keith Rosson (Takeover)

RODEO CARBURETTOR, THE: CD

I love Japan. I love rock. I like Guitar Wolf. Why don’t I like this? –Speedway Randy (Denko Secca, www.denkosecca.com)

RORY GALLAGHER: Live At Montreaux: CD

Pretty weird to be reviewing something this middle of the road and classic rock for Razorcake. Rory Gallagher plays good, solid British blues rock and has for around thirty years. His early band Taste is awesome and rockin’. All the solo stuff that I have heard has been relatively good. This is a weird disc because it features live songs from 1975-85 at the Montreaux Festival in France. Seems to be no rhyme or reason why each song was picked. Enjoyable enough, but I will stick with the studio records. –Mike Frame (Eagle)

SCREAMPLAY: Don’t Tell Me: 7”

Hollywood rock girl screams and hits a keyboard. Its not new wave or edgy, it’s someone trying to get popular by “not caring” and playing bad. No one else cares either. The drummer looks exactly like Alex Van Halen, for what its worth. –Speedway Randy (Lady Kinky Karrot Records, ladykinkykarrot@yahoo.com)

SILVER: World Against World: CD

Goddamn kids and their Pro Tools! This disc is full of Backyard Babies style songs with corporate screamo style production. Offensively slick, every song sounds the same, not a bit of life to be found here anywhere. Could be a real cool high energy glam sound if it had any life, character, or personality at all. Skip this and spring for the Chelsea Smiles or White Demons instead if you love this high energy glam sound. If you wanna hear what Turbonegro would sound like with no grit at all, jump on this. –Mike Frame (Bad Afro)

SINKS OF GANDY: Trust=Damage: CD

Indie pop/rock reminiscent of later Superchunk. Some songs have that shoe gazer, Brit pop sort of sound, with personal lyrics. Distorted vocals with heavy-laden guitar melodies. If I listened to this kind of music, I think I’d say it was pretty ok.

-KO! (Tiberius)

STNNNG: Self-titled: CD

As cryptic and as uninformative as this CD is: no clear track listing, hard to read liner notes, etc, I will spare you these extreme injustices. I will pull a George Costanza and do the opposite of this CD. I will be absolutely one hundred percent direct. No need to buy this CD, there’s nothing here that would interest even a deranged monkey. That’s my lesson from the “How To Be Clear” handbook. Class dismissed. –Sean Koepenick (Modern Radio)

STUCK LUCKY: Hate the Light of Day: CD

First thing that comes to mind is the Voodoo Glow Skulls. Vocals are snottier than the aforementioned but similar in sound. If they were around in the ‘90’s surge of ska punk, they would be major label. But since that surge died off, a new brand of misfits are coming out of the woodwork throwin’ some horn. Pretty enjoyable. I would like to see how they progress and see if they build an identity of their own. –Donofthedead (Stuck Lucky)

SWITCHBLADE KITTENS: The Weird Sisters: CD

Songs about Harry Potter, three basses and no guitar, and cutesy pop songs with a new wave hook. The geek in me says sold! My wife cringes next to me while I listen begging me to turn it off. But something about it is just too bubblegum for me to take it off. It’s like listening to the Go Go’s meets Shonen Knife. I’m not sold on the claim that this is three basses. I have to see it live to really believe it. Promo sheet promotes that they are straight edge. A new genre? New wave straight edge? More power to them. –Donofthedead (Switchblade Kitten)

TARTUFI: Us Upon Buildings Upon Us: CD

The name reminds me of some sort of tofu ice cream, which leaves a similar bad taste in my mouth. Too arty to be indie/folk, but not arty enough to be all that interesting. –Megan (Thread)

TRICLOPS!: Cafeteria Brutalia: CDEP

Four songs of punishment that may make your earlobes swell. Features ex-members of Fleshies and Bottles and Skulls. This is just a sample but “Jewel Of Oakland” left me wanting more. Short but sweet, as some jerk-off used to say. I can’t believe I like a release from Sickroom. Is an asteroid plummeting towards Earth that I don’t know about? –Sean Koepenick (Sickroom)

TRUCKS, THE: Self-titled: CD

I want to like this. Mostly because the girls in the band are all foxy. And the songs have lines like, “I turn into a bitch/ When I’m hungry,” and, “You can’t hate a girl/ Who looks good dancing,” that I can really relate to. But the electronic music on this album really makes it something that I just can’t truly love. This is in the same vein as Peaches, Chicks On Speed, and Le Tigre. Stuff I can totally appreciate, but will never really get into. One or two songs, like the poppy “Old Bikes” and the more complex “Zombie” make me think this album has the potential to grow on me. Though realistically, I will probably bring it to a party some night and leave it as a hostess gift. –Jennifer Whiteford (Click Pop)

VARIOUS ARTISTS: No One Gets Out Alive: CD

Of the seventeen tracks here, only one, Crucial Change’s “Shutdown,” evoked any sort of positive response. The rest—courtesy of First Offense, Skin Disorder, Reason To Fight, Strong Island Boot Boys, and the embarrassingly monikered The Offenders (even the most cursory research should’ve told ‘em a well respected ‘80s hardcore band went by that name)—ranges from uninspired “streetpunk” to just plain terrible skinhead-macho-posturing-set-to-music. Ultimately, when I hear this kinda stuff, I’m hard pressed to decide what’s worse: sellout overground crap-band abominations like SUM41 and Bowling For Soup, or the hordes of woefully unimaginative bands professing to keep the faith. A conundrum, it is. –Jimmy Alvarado(http://www.unitedfrontrecords.com/)

VARIOUS ARTISTS: American Hardcore: The History of American Punk Rock 1980-1986: CD

This film apparently came out this past fall, and I’ve yet to check it out yet. Might have to set the TiVO for this one, as it seems AH didn’t get released nationally (see more at americanhardcorefilm.com). The soundtrack here includes a cross-section of West Coast, Midwest, and East Coast hardcore tuneage. This strand of punk rock was the quintessential answer that laid down the law for musicians who were sick and tired of the water-bloated corpse that rock’n’roll had started to turn into at the peak of the late ‘70s and into the first part of the ‘80s. Such pioneers on this collection include Black Flag, Circle Jerks, Adolescents, Middle Class, Bad Brains, The Freeze, Minor Threat, Big Boys, Negative Approach, and a whole shit-ton more. I’m kinda surprised an older slab from the Misfits wasn’t included on this collection—it would’ve rounded this disc off nicely. Thumbs-up to the Rhino people for assembling a great collection here to get those in your life a chance at a bare bones, crash-course intro into the American world of hardcore. Looking forward to checking out this picture. –Designated Dale (Rhino Music, www.rhino.com)

WIRES ON FIRE: Self-titled: CD

While this was playing, my mind was wandering so much, I forgot several times I was writing a review. That said, it makes great background music. I had to start over and listen again, to analyze this as experimental, meandering rock. Or more accurately post-grunge Sub Pop rock. It was vaguely like Mudhoney / Green River meets Backyard Babies if they all smoked pot and lied around noodling while sprawled on the ground after a big taco dinner. It bored me, but if you like heavy, arty rock you may enjoy the stylings here. Not my cup of Schlitz. –KO! (Buddyhead)