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Razorcake #90
White Murder, both LPs
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Record Reviews

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BLOOD SUCKING FREAKS:
Bottlesick: CD
Good for what it is, I guess, “it” being loud, mid-tempo punk rock with the requisite rude titles/lyrics and a cover of the Damned’s “New Rose.” Somehow, though, it still failed to impress. Maybe I’m just not in the mood right now or something. –jimmy (Sounds of Subterrania)


BLAZING HALEY:
Mas Chingon: CD
Don’t worry, although Blazing Haley loosely fit into the psychobilly/rockabilly mold, they don’t play like they’re recording and episode for the Halloween episode of Happy Days or making songs that could be used to sell Cheez Whiz to folks with pompadours,nor do they sound like they spend too much time deliberating on the height of their jeans’ cuffs. Balls, bite, and drive overcome all that. They’re my reigning favorite if I want a change of pace from straight-ahead punk, to something infused with more country. They come across more authentic and stylistically together than Tiger Army, and have more diverse tempos and are less schlocky than The Slanderin’. Go right to the top. They remind me of prime Reverend Horton Heat –bluegrass stains on their knees, there’s amazing dexterity in their fingers without becoming flashy, and they’re able to pull off slower songs that come out of the stereo like smoke rising off a single cigarette in a still room. When they pick up, lead singer Matt Armor picks up a classic Greg Graffin of Bad Religion tone to his voice that somehow fits right in with Dave Kruger’s frantic standup bass. Okay, I’ll say it. If you wish X had written a good song in the last fifteen years and Exene was muted, you’d be listening to Blazing Haley whenever you slick you hair back. Cool stuff. –todd (Rode to Ruin)


BLACK KEYS, THE:
The Big Come Up: CD
I recently returned from a five-day, sin-filled excursion to New Orleans where the abundant bayous and waterways are densely shaded in a thick forest of moss-enshrouded cypress trees. It’s a unique and archaic region of the Deep South where dragonflies aimlessly buzz through the droopy, humid air and the spicy smell of boiling crawfish seems to forever linger heavily in the atmosphere throughout all hours of the day. So I’m here to tell you all, The Black Keys perfectly capture the magical, forbidden, and mysterious essence of the fetid, snake-infested river bottoms of Dixie country. This hoodoo-daddy duo authentically replicates the sparse, poverty-stricken sounds of an old, gnarled black man sittin’ on the front porch of his ramshackle shanty-shack and musically moanin’-and-groanin’ to the all-natural rhythm of a mid-summer night’s howlin’ wind. But these two disheveled white-boy minstrels add enough of a flavorfully piquant dash of lean and mean, blue-eyed aggression to the mix that it flawlessly gels into a sumptuous swirl of Mississippi mudwater garage-blues. The vocals are soulful, pained, emotional, and profusely drenched in gritty, downtrodden manliness. The gut-tormentin’ guitar wails, weeps, and shrieks, but it ultimately cavorts like a sun-baked alligator slithering through the dark, murky waters of an uninhabited backwoods marsh. The shuffling, loose-steppin’ drums mercilessly pitter-patter along like huge drops of torrential rain ricocheting off the tin roof of a dilapidated old chicken shed stuck way out in the boonies somewhere all by its lonesome. Mercy, mercy me; I’ve now heard this century’s Howlin’ Wolf, Muddy Waters, and Jimi Hendrix all rolled into one (but “Busted” could very well be a long-lost outtake from ZZ Top’s first album, “Leavin’ Trunk” sounds uncannily like Cream’s “Politician”, and the blazin’ ragtag rendition of The Beatles’ “She Said, She Said” is raucously southern-fried to all-out exquisite magnificence!). Indeed, this hot and zesty CD pristinely possesses the bare-bones, back-to-basics sound of long, dusty dirt roads, vast overgrown stretches of thriving cotton fields, and grandiose Southern antebellum architecture surrounded by squalor, misery, heartache, and hardships aplenty. Pass the jug, Uncle Jed, I’m a-comin’ home. –Guest Contributor (Alive)


BAZOOKAS:
Beach Blanket Blast-Off: 7”
It’s simple, really. Sometimes, a sub-genre of punk rock can be so inundated with mediocrity that fans will dismiss it altogether. Sometimes, a band will come along and blast through the mediocrity and lend credence to that sub-genre again. That’s clearly what’s happening with the Bazookas. They take four surf punk songs and shred through them with speed and finesse. They’re like Johnny Boy Gomes at Pipeline, swinging a bottom turn and setting up for the barrel when most people would struggle like hell to kick out of the wave. –sean (Fanboy)


BALZAC:
Terrifying! The Art of Dying / The Last Men on Earth II: CD
Are you still obsessed with the Misfits and Samhain? You have every item related to those bands known to mankind? How about trying a band that is still together? They have a fan club called “Fiendish Club,” dolls and all the merchandise a fanatic could latch on to. Many reading this are probably saying that I already know about this band. This is intended for those not in the know. First off, this band put together two things that I am interested in – Japanese things and punk rock. Mix that in with a worship for Glenn Danzig, the Misfits and Samhain. They have devil locks and their skulls are similar to the Misfits. The music is similar to a point. But they take it further to add their own punch. What is presented here is a re-recording of their long out of print first album, The Last Men on Earth. The songs were re-done to give it more punch. Included in the second disc is a bonus release of nine songs to give the listener more to cherish. All this is packaged together in a special release box. Now go scour the internet and get this. Horrorwood Distribution sells Balzac stuff in the states. As good as an ice cold beer! –don (Diwphalanx)


BACKSEAT BASTARDS:
Fuel Injected Action: 7”
A four-song seven incher boasting the likes of The Cramps, Dick Dale, and a gang of garage heads getting together to rage while the singer rips off the liquor cabinet and yer Dad’s secret porn stash right down to the very last drink/mag. Music that makes you drag your knuckles and groove and bob around with your ass high up in the air (a dance affectionately known as The Schlep, invented by fellow brothers Chris Vonovich and Todd Agajanian). My favorite jam here is “Monkey Shake.” A fine party platter, indeed, only if it is only seven inches. Good tunes here, you bastards. –dale (Fanboy)


ATOM AND HIS PACKAGE:
Hamburgers: CDEP
A quick Atom synopsis: It’s one guy and a sequencer/mixer, accompanied sometimes by a guitar. You wouldn’t be too far off supposing he’s like a punk rock Weird Al Yankovic or a one man Dead Milkmen, but you wouldn’t hit the nail on the head, either. What impresses me with Atom is that he opens me up a little bit to things I patently loathe – like dance music, beats, and straight-up indie rock – and incorporates them catchily into a song called “I’m Downright Amazed at What I Can Destroy with a Hammer.” I’ll be honest, the first several listens, I wasn’t that gripped with this EP. The songs – except the hammer song – seemed a little flat, falling into too similar musical grooves, but when I popped it on the headphones, I liked it much more. For someone who’s known for pretty hard-to-miss parody – like the song “If You Own the Washington Redskins, You’re a Cock” off the excellent Redefining Music – I found myself enjoying the musical nuances and how he layers the instruments and loops on top of one another. Not bad. Not bad at all. –todd (File 13)


ARGY BARGY:
Songs from the Streets: CD
Some average-to-better-than-average oi from England here. Although the gruff vocal thing is kinda hackneyed and annoying, the lyrics are pretty good and some of the songs are mighty snappy. This was way better than I expected. –jimmy (Captain Oi)


ANNALISE:
Versus Everything: CD
I know I kept their copy of the Fettered CDEP. I just couldn’t remember what they sounded like. Ready to dismiss them, I put the disc into my player to take on the agony. The music blares forth and puts me back into the right state of mind. Kind of has that D4 quality to it without sounding like D4 and a hint of Hot Water Music. The power is there and at the same time the songs are catchy and full of hooks. The music is tight and produced well without sounding like a well-polished table. Love the title of the track Too Much Music & Too Many Bands. So true. I can’t keep track of what music I have and my collection’s not up there in comparison to other people I know. –don (Boss Tuneage)


AMOEBA (RAFTBOY):
Bad Fuggum from the Mysterium: CD
One or two of the Electric Eels run through some of their old songs as well as a few Pagans covers and a version of “7 and 7 Is.” Not a bad listen overall, although the Eels intensity is muted somewhat and the performances drag on occasion. The Pagans covers are particularly good. Biggest gripe: No “Cyclotron”? –jimmy (Smog Veil)


AGAINST ME!:
Reinventing Axl Rose: CD

From the opening riff, when the ghosts of “Folsom Prison Blues” segue into a mid-tempo hardcore songs, it’s clear that this is not an ordinary album. Comparisons are hard to make. Sure, there are elements of folk guitar, but this is no Pogues rip-off. Sure, you can tell the singer has spent years singing along with Fugazi, but this is no emo record. Sure, the Clash drips off the edges of this CD, but that’s not what defines these songs. No matter what point of reference I try to launch from to describe this album – from “a hillbilly Husker Du” to “the black bloc throwing bricks through a Replacements record” – it all seems to fall short. And that’s a good thing. Considering how much new music I listen to, I’m amazed that I can hear something that’s this original and that’s this good. The songs are all well-written with thoughtful lyrics, catchy hooks, vocals that are tuneful even when the singer’s voice is ripped through to the chords, and a really happy guitar and a bouncing rhythm section backs it all up. I guess the best way to describe this album is this: these are the campfire songs I want to sing while the society around me burns itself to the ground.

–sean (No Idea)


ADICTS:
Rise and Shine: CD
Another band from the old days comes up with a new release and this one ain’t so bad. Monkey’s voice sounds different, but the music’s still the same anthemic punk rock the Adicts are known for. Only thing is I’d swear that the version of “Falling in Love Again” is the same one from way back when. –jimmy (Captain Oi)


2¢ WORTH:
Still Sick After All These Years: CD
Melodicore in the vein of Pennywise meets Jughead's Revenge. –don (AVD)


ZONIC SHOCKUM:
Here Today...: CD
Lady-fronted dissonant punk rock that won't be pigeonholed. Fast or slow, loud or quiet, stripped-down or sample-enhanced, it's all here, and in just six songs, to boot. Seems like they've matured a lot in the several years since I heard something else by them, and I'm all for it. Never could cozy up to the name Zonic Shockum, though. –Cuss Baxter (Stain)


YOUNG HASSELHOFFS:
Get Dumped: CD
Yay! It’s like 1992 again (the golden age of pop punk)! This is great! Think Chixdiggit, the Parasites, and a little bit of the Beach Boys! Thank you, Young Hasselhoffs, for being a pop punk band in the year 2002 that doesn’t suck! (And that is really saying something!) If this were a cereal, it’d be Honey Nut Cheerios – the basic pop punk formula with, uh, the honey of harmonies thrown in! The way pop punk should be! Hooray! –Maddy (Reinforcement)


WIFEBEATERS, THE:
Child Mulletstation: 7"
The combination of some seriously shitty recording and the proud flying of the anti-PC flag should spell pure crap, but somehow it works for me. The lyrics, about spouse abuse, militias, Asian drivers and rentacops (to the tune of "Bad Boys" from COPS), are so bad I have to assume that's part of the plan. The music part sounds like a 4 track recording (I wouldn't be surprised if the whole band is one guy) and the mix sucks worse than running out of Schlitz ten minutes after the stores stop selling beer. I guess some things are so wrong they're right, and this may be one. I wouldn't want my Mom to catch me with it, though. –Cuss Baxter ($3. Wifebeaters)


WHITEE:
Sapphic Delight: CD
A rap album with decent beats, weak rhymes and even weaker delivery. Another disc to clutter up the racks. –jimmy (www.whitee.com)


WHITE TRASH DEBUTANTES:
Golden Greats: CD
Back in late March, yours truly received a kick-in-the-ass-typa surprise when I got to catch the White Trash Debutantes gigging with Hollywood Hate, and let me tell you, Mr. Smartypants, I was pleasantly surprised to see them upgrade to the next level of rocking a crowd’s ass off with their current lineup. The last time I had seen this outfit was three years ago, and all I can say is that this version of the group that Ginger Coyote has rounded up now is more than enough reason to go see them. And this CD is the old-fashioned rock and roll that fries you alive, like a two-year-old sticking the end of his unraveled Slinky into a power outlet. With a smashing rhythm section and roaring chords of guitars, the Debs crush and crunch their way full-throttle through this disc, complete with the hot-cha-cha added singing of Tonia Bodley, who sexily shakes and shimmies like a lovely lost soul grooving through go-go purgatory. Any real fan of rock and fucking roll (to coin brotherman Big Marty’s phrase and label) should get in contact with the Debs and get their wet and nasty hands on a copy of this here disc. It's got thirty-one trashy tracks to push the limits of your creepy, derelict Daddy’s speakers with, including a WayneCounty cover that your Mom can take to her next candle party and start a sing-a-long with. What she does with the candles is her own business. Viva Ginger and the Debs! –dale (White Trash Debutantes)


WATCHMAKER:
Kill. Crush. Destroy: CD
Oops. Not Watchtower, and not Spazz, either, but somewhere about 15 degrees away from directly in between. Crazy brutal metal with no wanky metal trappings. Drop this monkeyfucker in the playing device and watch boredom run screaming like a little boy. –Cuss Baxter (Wonderdrug)


WATCH IT BURN/TILTWHEEL:
Split : CD
I'm a bad person. Watch It Burn are an all right band. They're all accomplished musicians. I really liked their song "Radio Pollution." They're fun as hell to watch live – people bouncing all over the place, things getting kicked over, getting beer baths, participating in alcohol slip'n'slides, and performing mid-set liver transplants. But I still can't get over how much like they sound like Hot Water Music (the bass tone and playing style is almost identical and so are a lot of blips and bings) and how literal the lyrics are, like "this reminds me of a Jawbreaker song, that I haven't heard in so long." Strangely, I wouldn't be half as critical of them if they didn't share this with my favorite three-piece American punk band: Tiltwheel. It's the happiest desperation you're bound to hear. Damn, these three songs are a powerhouse. The lyrics make you want to kill yourself at your happiest life moment, or, conversely, see that glimmer of hope when you think the rope's choking you out. What's so cool about this triumvirate is that the three songs and three musicians all work perfectly together – fast and slow, angry and seeking penance. After listening to literally hundreds of records a year for the past eight years, Tiltwheel songs continue to always be in high rotation. It's just fantastic music, regardless of genre. Quite possibly the best band you've never heard. There's a huge interview of them on our website. –todd (ADD)


WASTED:
Down and Out: CD
Rancid and the Dropkick Murphys move to Finland and start a street punk band, complete with the requisite chanty parts. –jimmy (Combat Rock Industry)


WARREN COMMISSION, THE:
Tricked by Cleverness: CDEP
I'm a dick. I really liked these guys when they played a basement in WashingtonDC or thereabouts, and asked for this CD specifically, but, good lord, a fucking tambourine? On not just one song? Songs fit for the "Dawson's Creek" soundtrack (they have that, right?)? What I liked in that sweaty basement wasn't the perfectly harmonzied Edie Brickell weeping vaginathon (but it sounds like a thirteen-year-old, so I'm feelin' like a pedophile right now), but a rockin' band that – agreed, had arty moments – but bordered on new wave and reminded me of Discount. Man, I'm thrown for a loop. Is my memory that fucked? Has Pabst finally conspired against me? Is my history being re-written, like how the Warren Commission concluded that Lee Harvey Oswald "acted alone with no clear motive"? Arrrggh! A drum machine over an acoustic thingameybob on track four. More emo supreme filigree crying poo follows. Kill it. Kill it… Mommy, make it stop. –todd (Espo)


VIRULENT STRAIN:
Torture Tools: CD
Hard core punk in the vein of F-Minus here. The singer is a female that would probably kick my ass. This is a pretty awesome CD. Not a single lull on it. With that said, why is the singer’s name Mercedes? Sounds like a titty dancer I knew once. Damn, if this girl is a titty dancer, I need to find out where. The way she sounds, I bet she’s a sight on stage, pinning her spiked heels into men's chests and ripping dollar bills out of their hands with an evil snarl. Where is Allston, MA? –toby (Rodent Popsicle)


VELVET UNDERGROUND, THE:
Bootleg Series Volume 1: The Quine Tapes: 3X CD

Culled from shows performed on the West Coast in 1969, these three discs comprise nearly four hours of live performances and almost all of it sucks. Lou Reed appears to have left his hard hipster sensibilities in New York and embraced the mood of the time and place, for the shows recorded in San Francisco have a folky, singer-song writer aspect that is beyond lame. Unless your idea of fun is listening to three 30-minute versions of “Sister Ray,” you better run, run, run, run, run like hell away from this one.

 

 

–jim (Universal)


VARIOUS ARTISTS:
The Thing That Ate Floyd: 2X CD
I was wondering if Lookout was ever gonna re-release this. Originally released on vinyl in 1988, this now serves as a snapshot of what was goin’ on in the Northern California punk scene during that time period (sheesh, it’s damn bizarre sayin’ shit like that ’cause to an old fart like me, it seems like last week), much like MRR’s Not So Quiet on the Western Front did six years earlier. Like that collection, Floyd has some good things goin’ for it, as well as some things not so hot. On the plus side, you get to hear what some of today’s favorite bands sounded like when they were first starting out, as this includes tracks by No Use For A Name, Neurosis, Cringer (featuring future J Churcher Lance Hahn), Lookouts (featuring both former Lookout big wig Larry Livermore and a very young Tre Cool from some band whose name escapes me) Operation Ivy (no need to explain ’bout these guys, do I? The track here is exclusive to this comp, by the way), Bitch Fight (includes Todd Spitboy, one of the nicest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting while on tour [Thanks for turning me onto Los Crudos. I think the other guys in Ollin are still pissed at you for that, though, seeing as I’m STILL playing ’em to death]. The song’s good, too, even if it is a blatant rip off of SLF’s “Here We Are Nowhere”) Crimpshrine (Jeff Ott’s old band and something of a legend unto themselves), Stikky (members of whom did business under the name Spazz) and others. You also get some choice tunes from some other well-known bands, including Sweet Baby, Sewer Trout (“Vagina Envy” is a scream, even after all this time), Corrupted Morals, Tribe of Resistance, Steelpole Bathtub, Mr. T. Experience (hands down the best track here), Kamala and the Karnivores (also featuring Todd) and Capitol Punishment. They’ve also reproduced the booklet that came with the original pressing, although there’s no update letting you know what’s happened since to most of the people/bands represented here. The biggest minus is one inherited from the original compiling of this epic: some bands on here suck just as bad as they did way back when. Had this been a single LP effort, it would’ve easily been in the running as one of best punk-related comps ever. As it stands, though, it’s at best an interesting look at a once-influential scene, warts ’n’ all. Would’ve been a neater idea if they’d re-released the Turn It Around comp on disc with the choice cuts from this comp. At least the result would’ve been consistently good. –jimmy (Lookout!)


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·MILLION DOLLAR MARXISTS
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·CHARLIE MEGIRA UND HEFKER GIRL
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