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Record Reviews

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NEEDIES, THE:
Screaming and Violence: CD
A more appropriate title would be Bitching and Moaning: A Retrospective. I hope he invested all his life savings in this album, goes completely broke, and has to eat the cat he’s posing with on the inside cover.
–megan (www.slowgunrecords.com)


NEEDIES, THE:
Screaming and Violence: CD
A more appropriate title would be Bitching and Moaning: A Retrospective. I hope he invested all his life savings in this album, goes completely broke, and has to eat the cat he’s posing with on the inside cover.
–megan (www.slowgunrecords.com)


MURRAY, CHRIS:
Raw: CD
Now live from his living room, you get Chris and his acoustic guitar!
–don (Asian Man)


MR. AIRPLANE MAN:
Moanin: CD
...this two-piece band OH MY GOD, A TWO-PIECE BAND!!! IN THIS DAY AND AGE!!! STOP THE PRESSES!!! ALERT THE MEDIA!!! GRAB THE KIDS AND PHONE THE NEIGHBORS!!! SLAP ME SILLY AND SHOOT THE HORSE!!! A TWO-PIECE BAND!!! A TWO-PIECE BAND!!! A TWO-PIECE BAND, I SAY!!! ...er, yes, where was i...right. Okay. This two-piece band on Sympathy For The Record Industry OH MY GOD, A TWO-PIECE BAND ON SYMPATHY!!! GREAT DAY IN THE MORNING!!! GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST!!! HOLY FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, FOLKS!!! A TWO-PIECE BAND ON SYMPATHY!!! A TWO-PIECE BAND ON SYMPATHY!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT BEFORE IN ALL MY YEARS ON THE FORCE!!! A TWO-PIECE BAND ON SYMPATHY!!! WHO AMONG US SAW THIS COMING??? OUR WORLD WILL BE FOREVER CHANGED!!! A TWO-PIECE BAND ON SYMPATHY!!! A TWO-PIECE BAND ON SYMPATHY!!! (helicopter noises: WUPPAWUPPAWUPPAWUPPA...) ANNOUNCER: We break into this regularly scheduled record review for a special eye-in-the-sky report on rumors of a two-piece band having been signed to Sympathy For The Record Industry. In the Razorcake news chopper now hovering above Ghetto Recorders in Detroit, here's special eye-in-the-sky correspondent Ernie Harwell. Ernie? ERNIE HARWELL: Well-a... i-a haven't seen-a panic and chaos-a like this-a since Phil-a Garner was-a skipper, and these reports-a of a two-piece band-a having recorded here-a, as-a fantastic-a as they sound-a, are turning out-a to be absolutely true-a (WUPPAWUPPAWUPPAWUPPA) ...we're going down now-a for a closer look-a. ANNOUNCER: You be careful, Ernie. All right, we're going back to regular programming at this time, bulletins immediately as events warrant. (short burst of static)...well, anyway, like i was saying, NOT ONLY is this a two-piece band (A TWO-PIECE BAND!!! OH MY GOD!!!), BUT IT IS ALSO a two-piece band composed of two GIRLS FROM BOSTON, that is to say, TWO FORCES CAPABLE OF THE GREATEST EVILS KNOWN TO MANKIND UNITED AS ONE! A two-piece band AND Boston girls!!! Sheesh! No wonder Ernie Harwell's got his grundies in a bundle! Anyway, these Women In Rock play levee blues in the time-honored "Mississippi Alpha Delta Pi" style (it's a sorority joke. i even remember some of the songs. Ply me with alcohol and i'll even sing a few); every song kinda sounds like "Smokestack Lightning," but none of them are. In a few spots – primarily the covers (Howlin' Wolf, et al) – the (admittedly great, or at least as-far-as-i-can-tell great) open tuned blues gee-tar riffs coupled with the wholly unexpected physiological sonic inversion whammy that occurs when Black Dude vocals are replaced with White Chick vocals completely tips the ethereal soul mojo of the source material on its head, and flings it back in the other direction, no worse for wear, just different. On the originals, things just kinda meander to far less effect... all of which, of course, brings up an interesting point: Since the covers they do work a lot better than the originals (i don't know why, i don't care to speculate, and i'm not really qualified to write about the blues anyway), and since the arena they operate in has never really put much of a premium on originality anyway, why not invert the traditional indie-output balance and have like 75 % covers and a handful of top-flight originals? (i'd actually like to see these ladies do an entire album full of Howlin' Wolf covers... 'course, some of the lines and titles might have to be modified to accommodate the gender switch, so, based on prior dealings with girls from Boston, there'd be lines like "When de nail polish fill de air/there'll be Hello Kitty? everywhere" from "Neither-Of-Us-Has-a-Wang Dang Doodle," "I eats mo' yogurt than any girl seen" from "(Hey! Get Away from There, You Would-Be) Back Door Man," "I did not SAY I was a millionaire... I said I have CHARGED more than a millionaire" from "Going Down Rarely," and, of course, the self-explanatory "I Asked for (Bottled) Water") (and NO, it's NOT that i'm not giving them a chance because they're GIRLS, it's that i'm not giving them a chance because they're a TWO-PIECE BAND ON SYMPATHY! What the fuck is so wrong with THAT?) Actually, the really scary thing about this record is that if i'm not really paying attention to it it kinda sounds like Jefferson Airplane's Surrealistic Pillow album. Eek. BEST SONG TITLE: "Commit a Crime" BEST SONG: "Moanin'" AMAZING FANTASTIC TRIVIA FACT: They're a two-piece band on Sympathy!!!
–norb (Sympathy For The Record Industry)


MODERN MACHINES/THE FRAGMENTS:
: Split CD
Being a life-long resident of the fine state of Minnesota, home of the Twins baseball team, I probably sprouted an intestinal polyp or two when I opened the jewel case of this split CD and laid eyes on the old Milwaukee Brewers logo. Visions of my state's own bin Laden, one Bud Selig, filled my mind. That cadaverous Mortimer Snerd fell just a few bad wig hairs short of turning my beloved Twins into nothing more than a bunch of bobble-head dolls you buy on Ebay. Reviewing this would be tough. I could feel my journalistic objectivity bunching up on me like a pair of ill-fitting underpants. So I decided to venture into the belly of the beast, so to speak, and I went up into the northwoods of Wisconsin to listen to this CD and jot down my impressions, hoping to counterbalance any biases I might have regarding my neighboring state. Here's what I came up with: The Fragments sound like a blue-light special Social Distortion to me. Fast, energetic, solid. The Modern Machines come across as just another mealy-mouthed, anemic pop punk band that writes songs to gain brownie points with their period tantruming girlfriends. But here again my Minn. bias is coming back into play: living in the home city of Dillinger Four – arguably the finest pop punk unit in this galaxy – I am spoiled on the intoxicating blend of poppy melodies and brick shithouse walls of guitar that D4 produces on such a consistent basis. I also have to toss in a few negative Reading Is Fundamental points on the Modern Machines side of the score card for crediting William Burroughs for the line "Nothing is true, Everything is permitted" when the actual author of that line is Hassan i Sabbah. I bet Jim Carroll knows that. Anyway, I give the Fragments a win by TKO.
–aphid (New Disorder)


MISSING 23RD, THE:
The Powers That Be: CD
Decent enough Cali hardcore from a band that’s been around awhile. Song subjects run the gamut of the expected topics (racism, jocks, etc.). Sounds good ’n’ all on the whole, but the recording is too “clean” for these ears, meaning I like my hardcore blessed with a sound less sanitized and a hell of a lot scruffier around the edges.
–jimmy (Sessions)


MIRRORMEN, THE:
Breaking Class: CD
These guys are touted by their label as the “saviours of English hardcore.” If so, the limeys on the other side of the pond are in some deep doo-doo, ’cause all I’m hearin’ here is more up-tempo metal disguised as hardcore. If this is what “saved” English hardcore is supposed to sound like, maybe it should be left to die.
–jimmy (Malt Soda)


MINORITY BLUES BAND:
Grab the Fire Swinging in the Rain: CD
With a name like “Minority Blues Band” and an album title like this, I probably would’ve passed on this album. But it’s on Snuffy Smile and Snuffy Smile hasn’t let me down yet. And, just like the name threw me for a loop, the sound is throwing me all around the room. It’s a solid album and I can’t stop listening to it, but I’m having a hell of a time classifying it. I can’t think of any one band to compare them to, and any combination of bands that I could merge together seems nonsensical, like: Minority Blues Band sound like Snuff with Davey Tiltwheel on guitar covering the Clash’s “Janie Jones”. See. It’s nonsense. Let’s just say that they play fast and urgent and every member of the band is completely going off while keeping the song tight, and they’d be the perfect band to open up for a Dillinger Four tour of Japan.
–Sarah Shay (Snuffy Smile)


MILLION DOLLAR MARXISTS:
Self-titled: CD
Six really good songs of something like if the Hellacopters did “Search and Destroy” (which I’d be surprised if they haven’t). If it was full-length, it’d be a sure classic.
–Cuss Baxter (Million Dollar Marxists)


MILEMARKER:
Satanic Versus: CD
With a title like Satanic Versus, I was expecting some heavy-ass devil, metal shit. I just got the shit part. Keyboard shit that is equal parts Chili Peppers, Killing Joke and some emo overtones.
–don (Jade Tree)


MEXICAN BLACKBIRDS, THE:
Ain: 7" EP
I spent an unduly large amount of time mentally censuring this band for sounding at least moderately Pagans-y, yet not being clueful enough to realize that the song title "Ain't Got the Time" was already taken by those selfsame Pagans; eventual double-checking showed that the Pagans song of similar nomenclature is actually called "HAVEN'T Got The time" and i regret the error (i also regret the fact that the other three songs on this record aren't covers of "Haven't Got the Time," "Got the Time" by Joe Jackson, and "When I Get the Time" by the Descendents, simply because that would be kinda funny) (we'll let the Chambers Brothers go unmentioned for now). Four songs from a five-piece, sounding like a cross between something the Chargers mighta done once (besides trading away the rights to Michael Vick) and some of the heavier, less-cartoony Rip Off bands of yore (i'm tempted to say the Stipjes, but i actually no longer remember what that band sounded like), with the occasional background blurt by the female drummer adding sort of a superficial Loli & The Chones garnish to things. Good but not superlative, as evinced by the fact that i can't think of a decent joke to end with that doesn't involve invoking mental imagery of a Hispanic singing "Blackbird" by the Beatles. BEST SONG TITLE: "Blackout (With You)" BEST SONG: "Blackout (With You)" FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Record label carries the message "PLAY LOUD." Hey, thanks for the tip, Slick.
–norb (Mexican Blackbirds)


MEANS, THE:
Gimme the Creeps, Steve: 7" EP
This record comes in a big fold-out silk-screened sleeve with some snakes and eagles and dogs and pictures of bandmembers and a female form with a snake coiled up in its uterus standing in front of an inverted five-pointed star with wings and the first song is that art-rock-meets-fake-blues stuff that it looks like we're gonna hafta sit thru for like the next two years whether anybody wants it or not, the second song is like samples and stuff, the third song is a little more c/w-damaged and the fourth song has washboards or something (that's apparently a big deal). The liner notes were so serious about the band's greatness that i was gripped with an all-consuming horror that i had been recently guilty of the same sin, causing me to dash off to the nearest Leg Hounds CD to see how big a fuck i came across as therein (verdict: big enough). Here's my favorite liner note bit: "The Means, to the best of my knowledge, are the only band that can possibly 'save' rock. Or bury it." My favorite part is the "or bury it" part. Yeah. Rock is just QUAKING in its fucking boots right now. Don't buy any green bananas, Rock! BEST SONG TITLE: "Annex, (2)" ...i mean, DUDE, that is SOOO Dada and gnarly! BEST SONG: "Fitzpatrick" from what i can remember FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Hey, i KNOW someone named Steve!
–norb (Roostercow)


MATT SKIBA/KEVIN SECONDS:
: Split CD
Matt Skiba (Alkaline Trio) and Kevin Seconds (7 Seconds) sitting in a tree. Playing and singing five songs each, acoustically.
–don (Asian Man)


MARKY RAMONE AND THE SPEEDKINGS:
Legends Bleed: CD
The Speedkings roped in one Marky Ramone to fill the drum seat in their band and record this disc with ‘em. As usual, brother Marky’s teflon-coated wrists from hell accompany this release just fine. Heavy Ramones influences abound, but I emphasize the word “heavy" – lots of ballsy, low-end tromp for yer buck here. Song topics range from a rock'n'roll asshole, girls, cars and girls, road rage, hot UPS girls, propositioning married girls in heat, sex phone girls, girl’s beaver on one’s mind, and even a song about telling fuckers to quit looking at someone’s missing weenie hair (which has a very catchy chorus, by the way, guys). Included are four live Ramones cuts the Speedkings pulled out live at a New Years Eve show in Germany. This disc is proof that one of the greatest punk drummers still standing can still crush it out, and the Speedkings show just that.
–dale (www.thirstyear.com)


MANDA AND THE MARBLES:
More Seduction: CD
Some swell pop here, sick with hooks and overdriven guitars, the result sounding not unlike a ballsier Go-Go’s. I’m not that big on pop anymore, but I actually enjoyed this a hell of a lot.
–jimmy (Go Kart)


MAN WILL DESTROY HIMSELF:
Consume... Be Silent... Die: CD
Picked this outta the pile ’cause I’d heard it was Reed from COC’s return to the punk rock fold. What you get for your buck is a song that sounds like it was created from a template based on Minor Threat’s “It Follows,” a song that sounds like it was ripped off from Discharge, and a bunch of other tracks that sound more like a bunch of metal dudes trying to pass themselves off as punks rather than the real thing. Wholly unimpressive. Excuse me while I go toss this in the shitcan and put on Limpwrist.
–jimmy (www.mwdh.net)


MAN WILL DESTROY HIMSELF:
Consume... Be Silent... Die: CD
The music is about as subtle as the band's name and CD title. This is the sort of band that I would assume are all smart guys that have stupid fans. They have a message, but also mosh parts, and you can guess what is more appealing to some. A good diversity of styles and influences – I keep hearing little things that remind me of SOMETHING, but I can't quite put my finger on half of them. So far, I hear traces of Bad Brains circa I Against I, Circle Jerks circa Wonderful, some Agnostic Front and assorted bits of the better things Rollins has done. Hey, it's like a best-of late '80s punk/hardcore! Every member is credited with vocals, which explains the variety of styles. None of them exactly SING, but they all do more than just scream. The odd thing about this CD is that you can tell it is really well produced – like it has a cleanness to it, and it just seems louder than most CDs.
–rich (Extremely Baked)


MAN WILL DESTROY HIMSELF:
Consume... Be Silent... Die: CDEP
Blender time. Get some aged whiskey, some later period Black Flag records, the first Corrosion of Conformity LP Eye for an Eye, and some old school East Coast records to top it off with some bile. Hit the “on” switch and let it roar. Had to throw in the COC reference since Reed plays drums in this band and does some vocal duties. His influences has to permeate this project. Also you can hear the love of Black Flag here. Seven songs to give you an alternative to the more rock stuff of COC that they have been putting out lately.
–don (Man Will Destroy Himself)


MAGNETIC IV:
Tarantula!: 7" with glow-in-the-dark sleeve and fridge magnet
This caught me off guard in a good way. It's surfy (ala Ventures) female-fronted breathy-to-screaming garage punk (think somewhere between the Loudmouths and Sado Nation). I like the watery, warbley feel that the guitar gives it, teetering the songs like a mildewing shack on the edge of the ocean, about to crash onto the rocks below. But, overall, it didn't completely light my ears on fire. I think it's because the songs lock into grooves too soon and the band doesn't know if they should be brazen fire breathers (as the urgent vocals suggest) or new traditionalists (as the straight ahead reverb insists) and the overall impact lessens when parts of their songs repeat. To their credit, they hotfoot through a cover of The Sonics' "Strychnine," almost on par with The Cramps' take on the classic. Pretty cool, and I'll look forward to more releases, but this isn't essential.
–todd (Tear It Up)


MADCAP:
East to West: CD
This sophomore effort from LA’s Madcap shows great improvement in musicianship, writing ,and production values since their debut, Stand Your Ground. I guess spending all of their summer playing the Warped Tour has benefited them well. I know many of you have seen or heard of these guys before. So no explanation for you. I personally haven’t seen them live and my only other contact with this band is their last record. This album has a mixture of the Beltones, One Man Army, and the Bouncing Souls. Melodic and pleasing to those who don’t like it too noisy.
–don (Side One Dummy)


MACHINE GUN ELEPHANT, THEE:
Rodeo Tandem Beat Specter: CD
Something about them Japanese. Like the Mad 3, these guys can take influences from three decades – the '50s, '60s, and '70s, put them in a time warp/blender, and come up with some super satisfying 2002 rock'n'roll. It's heavy on grooves and establishing a big atmosphere, but it doesn't sound overblown and dumbnutty because the chords and chops come from unexpected places, yet fit in perfectly, and the vocals don't sound like someone's nuts are in a vice. If you're looking for Link Wray meets Mott the Hoople meets the Controllers, all sung in Japanese, this is a good way to open the brain a little without missing out on the rock. It's also a pretty darn good to play for the parents because it's motivated and jumpy but there's no swearing (in English at least).
–todd (Alive/Bomp)


LYING IN STATES:
The Bewildered Nerd: CD
Emo caca poo poo mierda.
–jimmy (Harmless)


LUDICRA:
Hollow Psalms: CD
Ludicra takes a black metal stance toward a preoccupation with melody but leaves enough regular metal and grind tacked on to keep the proceedings in full swing. Better than average for the genre.
–Cuss Baxter (Life is Abuse)


LOT SIX, THE:
Animals: CD
Noisy stuff that sometimes veers into Barkmarket country, sometimes dips its toes in the Nirvana pool, and sometimes just gives it the ol’ college try. I like and greatly appreciate the diversity of sounds. Ain’t exactly my cup of tea, but I do respect ’em for bein’ a little off the beaten path.
–jimmy (Espo)


LOST SOUNDS, THE:
Rat: CD
The last Lost Sounds, Black Wave, had me super confused. There were parts I truly liked, but, man alive, if I'd space out for a bit, I'd glance back over at the stereo and feel that someone had stuffed a sea urchin and some tight underwear on me and thrust me into a prog-rock desert party whence I got a body-wide, nasty sunburn. It got me downright confused. But, Rat's Brains & Microchips rectifies that by chopping down the song length, stripping the trippiness, and comes blazing out confidently. Instead of gingerly picking influences off the ground like garments at an over-stocked Goodwill, you get full tackles of a bunch of diverse shit. Especially when Alicja takes the vocal helm, there's Siouxie and the Banshees but with rusty blades and Converse instead of fake eyelashes feel. There's a real nice balance between ethereal – led by the synthesizer and cello – and the deranged and garagey (albeit intergalactic garagey) that makes me think of both Servotron and Man or AstroMan, but they're definitely taking cues from a deep, dark, swirling well of their own. The result is the record I was hoping for the last time around. I can't seem to take this off my stereo. Flat-out fantastic.
–todd (Empty)


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