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Razorcake #84
Tim Version, Ordinary Life LP + bonus 7"
Radon, 28 LP
Zisk #25
Razorcake #83

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Record Reviews

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12:5: CD
I plopped this in and, I shit you not, suddenly there were elves and fairies dancing around my living room. I stopped the disc and they disappeared. Intrigued, I started it again and, lo and behold, there they were, prancing and singing and carryin’ on. Damndest thing. I pulled the nearest one aside and asked him, “Wherefore doth thou boogiest ‘round my living room, gentle dryad?” He cocked his funny little hat to the side and said, “‘Tis the hippie shit that spins in that machine anon.” So I took the cute little fella by the feet and bashed my stereo in with his head. –Jimmy Alvarado (Inside Out)

OUT HUD/!!!:
LAB Remix Series: CD
Out Hud: Three remixes of the same song, none of which are particularly interesting. !!!: Remix of a song that probably wasn’t all that bad in its original state, but, at twelve minutes, is really tedious here. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.goldstandardlabs.com)

Self-titled: 7"
Much in the same way that young bands like Mea Culpa and Rivethead sound very well-realized, this band sounds totally confident on this 7”. I must say, having seen these guys in Gainesville during one of the best weekends of my life last year, I was a little apprehensive that maybe they weren’t going to live up to what I remembered. I shouldn’t have worried. Cribbing notes from prime Avail (it’s earnest and energetic) and Tiltwheel (the tight instrumental interlock), they sound pretty fucking good right about now. Recommended for fans of gruff-voiced melodic punk. –Josh (The Support Group)

Ass & Frederic: LP
Okay, I’ll admit that their tunes have an infectious quality to them and that they obviously know how to string chords together in a pleasant manner. I’ll even go so far as to admit that I was impressed that they had the chutzpah to cover both the Dictators and Marginal Man on the same release. BUT, despite these plusses, the pop punk feel inherent in so many places here suddenly leaves me feelin’ limp just when I start to get hot and bothered. –Jimmy Alvarado (Wanker)

Self-titled: CD
Arty new wave informed by bands like Wire and later-period 100 Flowers. Not bad, per se, but there’s an underlying current of “we’re so cool” pretentiousness in the delivery that kinda sours the sound. –Jimmy Alvarado (Thick)

Everybody Loves You When You’re Dead: LP
“Fuck you, I just took a whole shitload of coke,” Wade screamed. Something was muttered from the soundman. “Fuck ‘one more song.’ Two songs. Let’s go!” Typical Orphans fare, right after someone got gored by the bass neck and took a microphone to the top of the head, they played what they wanted, no more, no less. At first, it’s the firestorm that attracted me to the Orphans. Play it fast, mix it up, and I’m usually a sucker for it. The obvious stuff is great: Jenny’s a vixen, equal parts rolling-in-glass punk sweetheart and back-arcing public displays of drunken fuckitosity. Wade at bass – I’ve never, ever seen someone simultaneously unplug from both ends – the guitar and the amp – and then play for a good forty-five seconds before he realized he was unplugged. There is all that on the criminally well recorded Everybody Loves You When You’re Dead. That danger, that people who don’t go out that much, claim to have left punk rock, is here in spades. But then I continued to listen to this LP, and not to get all mystical and shit on you, but there’s a complete other side to the Orphans. If Brandon wasn’t drumming, it’d be mush. If Dann wasn’t guitaring – Wade’s pitbull would still be lunging – but Dan provides the teeth and neck strength for those teeth to really sink in. Just as any half-assed karate movie has taught me; strike when planted to put strength in the blow. The result, a fantastic, satisfying record. The only criticism? I think Jenny’s organ solo should be louder on “Creature Double Feature.” The LP is gorgeous, too. Converse ink stomps on the inserts, orange vinyl, the works. –Todd Taylor (Unity Squad)

The Glory of Honor: LP
Simultaneously ridiculous (lyrics-wise) and spot-on (music-wise), this is one of the best homages and deflators of oi culture I’ve heard in long time. Much like JewDriver takes the undeniable musical power of Skrewdriver and turned it on its head (racism, for starters), Oil! spins tales of skinhead glory on its rubberized, metal-tipped boots, both commending the best of the culture (hey, at its best, it’s a definable belief system where beer’s involved and hippies are hated) and making fun of its over-used clichés (calling ladies “birds,” spending gross amounts for fashionable clothing that was once made for the working class, and not knowing how to cry.) In the end, yeah, it’s pretty damn good. I bet you could slip it on in the middle of the first Blitz record, classic 4-Skins, and the Cockney Rejects, and few people would be the wiser. It’s leagues better than that last Business record that Epitaph put out. At least these guys know there’s a joke involved. First 300 have sixteen-page booklet and silkscreened cover. –Todd Taylor (Noma Beach)

The Garden of the Machine: CD
Put the bong down, college boy. –Jimmy Alvarado (www.oblivionrockmusic.com)

Smoke + Fire: CD
Sometimes, it just takes one line from one song to drag a listener into an album. For this listener and this album, the line was “I’ve lived in funeral cities/ and I’ve lived in golden towns,” from the song “Flying.” While this listener still has no idea what it is that is so captivating about that line, she confesses that it sucked her deep intoSmoke + Fire and she has yet to be able to escape. This debut album from New York-based duo Korinna Knoll and Adam Peters (ex-Echo and the Bunnymen), is filled with lyrics that are sort of vague and lovely and make you sit around and wonder if this is all just fantasy or reality? What exactly is “Middle East” about? Is it a travelogue of sorts? A protest song? Musically, Neulander has the minimal electronic pop style down, with dollops of Neu and Can influences to give the album a sort of psychedelic, lo-fi new wave sound. Knoll has the vocals – the husky, accented vocals that are distinctly European, although it is difficult to tell exactly whereabouts. Or, it could be that she isn’t European at all, but an American who listened to too much Nico while growing up. Alas, a press sheet check confirmed that Knoll is Austrian. Accents, Krautrock, electronic pop—isn’t this all a little like Stereolab? Perhaps, in parts there seems to be a similarity between the two, but Neulander really has developed its own sound. Given it a listen and you might end up caught in the smoke and fire as well. –Liz O. (Disko B; <www.diskob.com>)

United as One: CD
These guys come from Sweden. It contains twelve tracks of fast Pennywise-style punk. This stuff is fast but has a lot of changes in it and has some slow parts, too. The lyrics are very positive and about doing the right thing. This also reminds me of old Southern California hardcore. The music is played well and the vocalist is good, too. A worthy release and worth the money for fans of this style.–Mike Beer –Guest Contributor (Union 2112)

Capitalized Suffering: CD
I reviewed the songs on this CD for the last issue of Razorcake, but for some unexplained reason, I put the title of the Minority Blues Band’s first album. That was a mistake on my part. Sorry about that. Anyway, here’s what I have to say about Capitalized Suffering. Rule number one: Japanese punk rockers play their instruments better than American punk rockers. Rule number two: everything Snuffy Smile Records releases is fucking awesome. Rule number three: well, it’s not so much a rule, but pick up this fucking album already. If you like Leatherface, Hüsker Dü, and the Replacements, you won’t be disappointed. And, yes, I realize that Leatherface, Hüsker Dü, and the Replacements don’t have all that much in common with each other, but Minority Blues Band has a lot in common with all three.  –Todd Taylor (Snuffy Smile)

split: 7"
Minority Blues Band plays fast and fuzzy melodies just like I like ‘em. I have both of their full lengths, listen to them all the time, and these three more songs by them make me happy. Manifesto Jukebox plays fast and fuzzy melodies that just don’t grab me the same way. I can recognize the talent. I can understand why people love them, but they bore me. Now that I’ve written this review, I’ll probably never flip this record again. But, oh, that Minority Blues Band side... –Sean Carswell (Snuffy Smile)

Yesterday Rules: CD
Why? Why? Why? Sure, it’s not as bad as Alcatraz, but the lyrics keep getting worse. And I’m not some punk rock vigilante. I, much to the dismay of many friends, think late-period Minor Threat is great, and I like a fair amount of Bob Mould’s post-Hüsker Dü projects. But some bands do one thing well – and any deviation from that results in the dreaded comparisons to Captain Crunch’s Oops! Chocolate Donuts with Sprinkles – a cereal that is just trying too hard. Too much crooning, too much seriousness, too many “affected” vocals. Gimme Lucky Charms! –Maddy (Lookout)

King James, Crown Royal and a Colt .45: CD
Ten soppy girl-ballads about boyfriends doing 30-to-life et al that evoke that whole “Don’t Forget Me Tommy”/”Bobby Come Back”/”Oh My Beloved Elmer Whither Hast Thou Gone?” Joe Meek vibe content-wise, but, alas, not form-wise (not that that would be any big whoop in and of itself). I am unclear as to why this would be submitted to a punk mag for review. BEST SONG: “Dear Johnny” BEST SONG TITLE: ...actually, i’m still trying to deal with the fact that she’s got one song called “Texas” and another called “Corpus Christi”...but no songs whatsoever called “Beerland.” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Not only is “Corpus Christi” not the Avengers song, but “The Letter” is not the Box Tops song, neither. –Rev. Norb (Sympathy)

Separate Beds?: CD
Les belges sont ici! Belgian rockers playing a Devil Dogs-influenced rock and roll. And they cover the Queers’ “Number One” and the Infections’ “Be a Man.” Strange! Apparently, in Belgium, pop punk is still popular and rock and roll versions of Queers songs are all in a day’s work. I couldn’t decide how I felt about it, and so I played it for two friends who released the following statement: We don’t hate it, but, if for some reason this CD came into one’s possession, one would probably sell it to a used CD store. The verdict is in! So, if this were a cereal, it’d be Weird-Belgium-Pop-Punk-Vortex-Sell-It-for-Sour-Gummi-Worm-Money-Oh’s. –Maddy (no record label info)

Songs About Boys: 7"
Todd asked me what made me pick this one out. I told him that with the way these girls looked they had to rock. Well, shallow as my theory may have been, it panned out. Straight out rock’n’roll with a bit of an edge. Vocals that aren’t scared to get a little gravely or growly.  –Megan Pants (Steel Cage)

Plastic Girls: LP
I’m a dork. Yeah, the Minds had one of my top ten 7”s of 2003 and, yeah, I reviewed the CD format of this record a couple issues back, but fuck a ghost with a salami, I’m happy that a German label is releasing this on vinyl. The CD, instead of spending a respectable six months in the high rotation pile and being cycled to the far wall has now been relegated to the truck for an assured three more months of constant listens. It comes down to this – yeah, there’s a keyboard. Yeah, there’s new wave trappings slathered all over this like a slippery sauce, and yeah, there’s a lot of stripes involved in the layout and the visual concept of the band, but beyond all the potentially easily dismissables, is this irrefutable fact: they can write an entire album of catchy songs. There isn’t a turd on the whole platter. Missing Persons can’t claim that. Human League can’t claim that. (That first Vapors record is pretty damn good, though.) Rock solid songwriting trumps any fancy press packet or leaky memory any day. Plastic Girls is more recommended than before, just by the fact I still compulsively listen to it.  –Todd Taylor (Alien Snatch)

Greetings and Amputations: CDEP
Classic Jiffy Pop-core; the chunked up, guitar-bolstered sounds of an angry person’s head swelling and popping with hatred and buttery angst until it’s near bursting. When it doesn’t sound like Today Is The Day meets Dead Guy, it sounds like Kill Em All-era Metallica meets Godflesh. But maybe that’s just one of those “six of one, half-dozen of another” sort of things. I enjoy the amplified sounds of human unhappiness as much as the next guy, but I think an EP is just about the right amount for me. –aphid (McCarthyism)

Colossus of Destiny: CD
One of my more noteworthy Crimes Against Rock™ – which have been astonishingly plentiful – was, at age 14/15, finding myself so un-throttled by my copy of the Dictators Go Girl Crazy LP that i actually unloaded it back down at the record store within a few weeks of initial purchase. Needless to say, the situation has been long since rectified, but an error of that magnitude does not go uncontemplated by one such as myself, and, after a number of attempts to understand just what the hell i was thinking when i flipped that burly gem back to the used bin for pennies on the dollar, i came to the conclusion than i tragically abandoned Go Girl Crazy simply because, at the time, it seemed old and square. Like, i know the ‘Tators covered “California Sun” two years before the Ramones did, but so what? Having the Ramones version in hand, i really didn’t think i needed to keep the Dictators’ version – inarguably, a comparative plod (pooper-shaking be damned!) – around the house. Loveable and irreverent as they were, they still seemed like they were part of the old Orthodoxy of Rock that, at least to me, punk was – THANKFULLY – rendering inert (if not inert, then certainly unnecessary). And, while i am no longer in agreement with my younger self on the Dictators’, uh, inert-ancy, i can see where i was coming from: Almost anything the Dictators or relevant related post-Dictators projects (the Del-Lords, Manitoba’s Wild Kingdom... i did say “relevant,” which should eliminate the need to bring up Manowar) have done always sounds not too far off from something one could imagine one’s uncle kinda digging, given a few beers and the house to himself. With The Master Plan – Andy/Adny Shernoff, two dudes from the Fleshtones, and some Paul “Peppermint” Johnson guy i never heard of (but am willing to give the benefit of the doubt simply because he must be cooler than, say, Paul “Spearmint” Johnson) – that condition still kinda holds true, but is itselfrendered inert because GODDAMMIT, IT’S A PARTY, and if the relatives wanna slum it with us, there’s enough beer in the fridge for everyone! I mean, songs like “What’s Up With That?” (recorded by the Dictators a few years back), “Better Get Better,” and “I Got Loaded” (to say nothing of “Kickin’ It Old School,” one of the record’s few comparative flops) are just so... so... so basic and so guileless that they are instantly likeable, and therefore sort of incapable of provoking any stronger reaction than Instant Like, which in turn almost implies a certain inherent fuddy-duddiness or something, but, that said, let there be no question: THE MASTER PLAN WRESTLE WITH THE UNIVERSAL VANILLA AND KICK ITS ASS IN TWO STRAIGHT FALLS!!! This record pushes no envelopes, but serves a great and wondrous purpose as a semi-fabulous party album; and, while Razorcake has supplied me with a goodly bit of used record store bait this month, Colossus of Destinyain’t goin’ anywhere but into my CD player. BEST SONG: “You’re Mine” BEST SONG TITLE: “Find Something Beautiful (And Set It On Fire)” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Band is self-described as “Classic NY Garage Rock” and, as if to hammer this point home, is depicted rocking out in a automotive garage,underneath an automobile up on hoists. I’m guessing that two seconds after this photo was snapped, the guy from the Fleshtones (who are an excellent live band, by the way), who is standing on his tiny combo amp, did one of his little high kicks, which dislodged one of the car’s mufflers, which then swung down and clobbered Paul “Peppermint” Johnson in the face, who, reacting negatively, tried to lift his bass over his head to El Kabong the Fleshtones guy in retaliation, but, in the process, knocked the car off the hoists, immediately fatally flattening himself, Andy Shernoff, and the drummer, after which the Fleshtones guy quickly brushed the dust off himself, adjusted his little beret, and quickly left the scene, whistling suspiciously. Am i close? –Rev. Norb (Total Energy)

On the Outside: CDEP
The second full length by the Marked Men is awe inspiring – fantastic power punk akin to ‘70s bands like The Nerves or The Real Kids, but being delivered by 3/4 of The Reds. Jeff Burke has truly captivated me, beyond anything accomplished by The Reds or The Chop-Sakis. His storytelling and delivery are over and above any copycat Killed by Death rehash band. This is not to say that Mark Ryan’s songs are lacking, but Burke doesn’t sound like another person on the planet. I loved The Reds and they had a choppy style that was always interesting, but the rhythm of this is different. Everything sounds more organic, less forced. Mike Throneberry’s drumming seems to find a more natural pace and with the addition of a new bass player, it just clicks. Sadly, most people buying punk records will say it’s too pop and people buying pop will think it’s too hard. The fucked message being that you can’t be in a great punk band and write a good hook. Easily one of the best records I have heard this year. –Wanda Sprag –Guest Contributor (Dirtnap)

Songs to Turn the Tide: CDEP
I can’t get over how much these guys remind me of Ignite – a singer who is actually a singer that yells to make things aggressive. Musically, they’ve got melodic, metal overtones with the chugga sound that Pennywise is famous for. If these guys aren’t on the Warped Tour in a couple of years, they are not marketing themselves hard enough and need to fire their record label. –Donofthedead (Red Leader)

Self-titled: CD
As Emperor of the Universe, I hereby issue this decree: Any college student caught with a backpack, horn-rimmed glasses, and a musical instrument of any kind in his possession shall be dealt a serious kick in the shin. Yes, it may be harsh, but SOMEONE’S got to stop this emo scourge at the roots. –Jimmy Alvarado (Flame Shovel)

At War with Black Metal: 7"
I’m not sure but I think that sometimes, when someone’s trying so damn hard to bend over backwards in an attempt to parody something, they end up sticking the heads straight up their asses and, in essence, come full circle; in other words, they wind up a parody that is no longer a parody. Your guess is as good as mine with this pod of mooning wizards, traipsing in their little capes, codpieces, and retard-applied King Diamond clown make-up as they ape all the over-the-top machinations of a black metal band lost in its own intestinal ooze... Are they in earnest or just taking the piss out of the Varg Vikerneses and Euronymouses of the world? It’s probably an irrelevant question; it probably all comes down to how brittle your sense of humor has become over the years. I can see Mangina growing on me and then again, maybe I’ll never play it again. But I think I would definitely check them out live, if only for the funny outfits. –aphid (Jeth-Row)

Unrelated Statements: CD
Garage punk is not one scene that I follow. From time to time a band comes along and blows me a way. Some years ago, for another magazine, I got a record to review for a band from Sweden. That band turned out to be the Strollers. That band blew my mind and immediately I became a fan. I begged the label for more and more came my way. I think it was last year or the year before that the label and I got back in touch. They sent me other bands to review, which I truly enjoyed, like the Maggots and the Sewergrooves. As usual, I went to the Razorcake compound to pick up my review material. I saw a package in my box from Low Impact Records. Can’t go wrong there. They have not failed me yet. A new band on their label. Should be interesting. Turns out, this band has former members of the Maggots, Jens Lindberg and Anders Oberg. I look even further and get really excited to see the singer from the Strollers, Mathias Lilja, is in the band too. Holy cow! The music combines the elements of both bands and takes it to another level. Well-produced but raw and stripped-down garage rock that easily could be mistaken to be recorded from the late ‘60s or the early ‘70s. The same energy when I first got into punk is represented here. No silly studio tricks or over-layered tracks. Just simple playing with conviction. Another great thing about this release is none of the songs are over three minutes long. Get in and get out is what they do here. They play just long enough to get the point across and not overextend their welcome. Mathias is a great songwriter and his vocals are mesmerizing. The songs are infectious and melodic. With a little research, I see that this incarnation of the band released an LP in Italy in early 2003 titled H-Minor. I’m on a quest to acquire that and see how the progression to this release has gone so far. –Donofthedead (Low Impact)

23 Tales of Terror: CD
About 80% of this album is hard to tell apart from Danzig-era Misfits. If I drifted off and wasn’t paying attention to the CD, I would eventually think in the back of my mind, “Hey, someone’s playing The Misfits.” The music, lyrics and even the voice are all almost just like them. However, it seems like every now and then the singer would lose the microphone down his throat and suddenly sound like a gravelly throated death metal singer. What killed me was later in the CD, it sounds like the gay falsetto voiced singer from The Darkness sneaks into the studio and throws in his god awful wails sporadically. With the CD totaling 23 tracks and the vocals taking a turn for the worse 20% of the songs, I think those into Misfits rip off horror punk would enjoy this. –Toby Tober (Creature Feature)

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