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Record Reviews

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PU$$Y-COW:
Drinky Birds: CD
There are some things that you just accept about Los Angeles. The liquor aisle at Food4Less closes before the rest of the store. All DMV employees are safely behind bulletproof glass for good reason. L.A. would be absolutely beautiful… if you could just see it through the smog. Folks with much better shoes and cell phones will ask you for money… and ask you to hold. Then there’s the food, especially in the neighborhood Pu$$y-cow and Razorcake share: Highland Park has some of the best, most street-available, reasonably priced Mexican (all districts) food anywhere outside of Mexico. It often gives Northern culinary visitors—whose previous exposure to Mexican food has been from cans or Taco Bell—a big, ol’ stomach ache. They’re just not used to the spices, the lard, the cheeses. Pu$$y Cow: there’s nothing rotten or off about ‘em; they definitely won’t give you “music poisoning,” but there’s something distinctly L.A.-native about their approach to music. Your ears will have to eat through their Dickies meets Dwarves meets Stevo-then-cow-punk-era Vandals, meets crazy dude with nice shoes asking for change, meets eccentric, spazzy musicality. And, to me, I like ‘em. It’s a taste I’ve acquired while living in the neighborhood, but I understand that they’re not for everyone. (Their name is from a popular mis-hearing of a popular car dealer who advertises on TV all the time in the Southland. “Go see Cal, go see Cal.” Sounds a lot like “Pussycow, Pussycow.”) –todd (Chorizo Bonito)


PSYCHED TO DIE:
Year One: CD
Why in the hell hasn’t this been done before? It seems so simple: Let’s start a band that sounds like the Zero Boys, Angry Samoans, and the hardcore side of the Descendents. Talk about a no-miss idea! Well, Psyched To Die have done just that and the results are glorious. This collection of songs contains everything I love about hardcore punk: High energy playing, snotty vocals, and huge hooks. Why is this so hard to pull off, why are there so few bands that get it right? This band stands up to any band that you wanna name; they are that good. Every time I listen to “Permanent Solution” I have to check the credits to make sure it is not a long-lost cover. That song is an instant punk rock classic. All the rest of the tunes are great, including an actual long-lost cover of “Bummer Bitch” to complete the record. Pick up this collection or grab the singles while we hope for a full length. There could not be a higher recommendation for a new band than Psyched To Die. –frame (Dirtnap)


PSYCHED TO DIE:
Scatter Brained: 7"
There is a long list of phobias that people have. Flying, heights, and spiders seem to be popular among a lot of people. While these fears aren’t totally irrational, they are statistically unlikely to cause most people harm. Myself, I’m scared of snakes, horribly so; however, I’ve seen one snake that was neither in a cage nor accompanied by another human being in my life. I was later told that snake was dead and headless—I still would’ve run if I had known it at the time. As anecdotal as my case may be, I think that it illustrates something particularly familiar: We oftentimes put a lot of energy and time into fearing relatively improbable situations, which would result in death if they occurred. Psyched To Die seem to have a fear, one that is more likely to occur with many people than being in a plane crash or being bit by a spider—even more likely than being in a fender bender—and it doesn’t result in physical death. Their fear seems to be mundanity, becoming milquetoast dogsbodies who are forever haunted by their lacking and debilitated by their inabilities to ever find happiness. It makes sense. I mean, what’s more attention-worthy: fear of having a rare cause of death or fear of being part of the mass of people leading lives of quiet desperation? As for the music, this 7” hits a little harder than the previous one, more doom and gloom. Each one of the four tracks is a simultaneously catchy and stressful hardcore punk tune. It’s quite possible that this one will wipe any trace of a smile off your face, but you’ll love it for doing so. –Vincent Battilana (Dirtnap)


PROFESSION: ILL:
Discography: CD
I was stopped on the street by a young man. “You review records, don’t you?” He then handed me a paper bag with a couple of CDs and a cassette. “I have a label. Here’s some stuff I’ve put out.” With that, he was gone. I have no information about Profession: Ill other than I’m pretty sure they hail from the eastern part of Canada. They play stripped-down old school hardcore punk that had me thinking of Black Flag or The Weirdos without sounding like a carbon copy. Kind of like The Regulations. My favorite song title here is “Rum, Sodomy, and the Thrash” but a close second would be “Repetition Killed the Cat,” mainly because almost every song on the disc is on here twice. Good stuff. I’d like to hear more from. –ty (Shred City)


OVERNIGHT LOWS, THE:
City of Rotten Eyes: CD
Occasionally, a band will blow an unpretentious slab of three chord rock’n’roll right through the wall. The Overnight Lows are from Jackson, Mississippi, a city that is historically remiss in providing the world with blazing punk rock. But the blues defiantly had a baby this time. The Overnight Lows play rippers with a garage sensibility. The title track, “City of Rotten Eyes,” is a mover. “Eyesore” and “So Well Read” slow to a pogo. The vocals display the proper attitude and are backed up appropriately. It never slows down. All the elements are in play. –Billups Allen (Goner)


OSCEOLA / SUIS LA LUNE:
Split: 7"
If you missed these two bands on tour together, here is the next best thing. According to Osceola’s myspace page, the vocalist has left and there isn’t any further news as to the future of the screamo thrash band. Stay tuned. Sweden’s Suis La Luna follows up with, “Friends,” a hardcore garage track that manages to float into a gentle melody before soaring into a frothy wave of guitar effects. Good stuff in the same vein as The Sound Of Animals Fighting and Phoenix And The Turtle. –Kristen K (Protagonist Music)


OPEN CASKET / SCRABBLE ROBOT:
Split: 7"
The “Vs.” between the bands’ names on the cover positions this split not as a collaboration, but as a competition. Open Casket’s first song features the sort of casually angry vocals that I find endearing. It’s sort of an armchair angry, a “Damn it I wish I had more root beer!” angry, rather than an “I’m gonna gut you and eat your intestines” angry. It’s the kind of angry you can get behind pretty easily when you’re sitting around listening to records. OC’s second song is sung by a different band member. It’s about falling out with a former bandmate and offers these fantastic lyrics: “Spent the money from the last show. I know that was wrong. I bought a bong.” Scrabble Robot’s songs on the flip are perfectly acceptable, but about halfway through the first one I found myself really anxious to go back and listen to the Open Casket side again. So I guess I’ve picked a winner. It should be noted that this is a beautiful package, with an amazing full-color cover, green vinyl, and a comic strip insert which, by the way, also depicts Open Casket as the winner of the competition. –mp (Mortville)


O PIONEERS / NEW BRUISES:
Under the Influence Vol. 10: 7"
Well, that was certainly interesting. You guys know the deals with these, right? Two bands, one cover song each. The problem with the whole series was either that I didn’t care about either band, or I didn’t care about the songs they covered. This one is two bands I enjoy with two cover songs I have never heard. I checked out the originals before I started the disc and they are definitely… cover songs. I think O Pioneers cover fit their style more than the New Bruises song (which was “Nu Bruises” by Superchunk, which kind of feels like cheating to me). Recommended if you’re into this sort of things. –Bryan Static (Suburban Home)


NOFX:
Cokie the Clown: CDEP
So, the first NOFX release in the decade I’ve been following them that I did not actively seek out ends up in my review box? Ironic. NOFX lost me when they released Coaster. It was their first album that didn’t have that one song that got stuck in my head like the others. Hell, even their greatest hits album added “Wore out the Soles of My Party Boots” to the NOFX canon. Surprisingly, this EP is good. I will definitely keep this. NOFX has my attention for at least one more album. After that, all bets are off. –Bryan Static (Fat)


MY LIFE WITH THE THRILL KILL KULT:
Death Threat: CD
Dripping with sweat and pheromones, TKK is back again with their latest album. “Psychik Yoga” and “Death Threat” give us that dance floor thrash and stomp we’ve come to expect from this infamous glam rock outfit. “Spotlite Hooker” and “Foxxxy Rockit” fulfill their signature B-movie disco slut raunch, while “Invasion (of the Ultra Modelz)” will be the next biggest slow grind striptease track. Recommended, especially for those that still have Sexplosion or Confessions of a Knife. –Kristen K (Rustblade, rustblade.com)


MUTOID MEN:
Mutoid World: LP
It’s all about the math. Shorebirds and Doomhawk—more or less—become Mutoid Men. Separate, they we’re potent. Together, they crumble theories. Doomhawk did its best to defy genres, Shorebirds did a flawless job with theirs. When a project contains this much talent and creativity and the forces aren’t battling each other, holy-fucking-shit. Usually synthesizers make me feel sick, but when the punk is this driving and catchy, they can get away with a lot. It’s an epic ride of a record. Strap me in. –Daryl Gussin (Rumbletowne)


NIGHTY NIGHT:
Belle: 7" EP
The first song sort of sounds like the Mo-Dettes singing sad lullabies written by Guided by Voices, the second song is an acoustic folk tune involving people who “wait for wars in threes and fours,” which is kind of a neat line, whatever the hell it means, and the third song sounds like something for which i lack meaningful points of reference. After a few spins i became mildly smitten by this 45, thus—tragically—jettisoned all the snarky wisecracks i had devised earlier. Alas. BEST SONG: “Belle” BEST SONG TITLE: Would you believe “Underwater?” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: “This record is dedicated to Zach’s dog, Belle.” Please hold for one moment whilst i try to dig my snarky wisecracks back up. –norb (Let's Pretend)


NEW BRUISES / OFF SHORE RADIO:
Split: 7"
Not released off Bryon’s Kiss Of Death, this New Bruises split is off Jan Yo-yo’s German punk label. Bruises drops two steaming tracks of anti-establishment angst, continuing on the heels of Fugazi and Hot Water Music, while Offshore Radio lends its two tracks of bouncy garage rock. Plus the cool hand-drawn cartoony Bruises cover of severed limbs. What’s not to like? –Kristen K (Yo-Yo)


MUCKRUCKERS, THE / OBSESSORS, THE:
Split: 7"
This slab of creamy red wax could very well be the pick of the litter this month. The Muckruckers have got this dancy Fleshtones meets Beltones thing going on that I love. The Obsessors are contacting my spud boy tendencies by having a heavy Devo element to their tunes—perhaps if Devo was fronted by a girl and had Dee Dee Ramone co-writing with Mark Mothersbaugh. So good. I am going on an active search for more from both of these bands. –ty (Braindart)


MORION:
Insomnia: CD
The metal of, say, ShadowFalls with keyboards. Out of Poland. –don (Zero Substance)


MIDDLE CLASS: Out of Vogue: 7”EP:
Out of Vogue: 7" EP
Author of American Hardcore, Steven Blush, I’m lookin’ directly at you. You’re wrong about one critical piece of history that your book is named after; and I’m just looking at the date on this label. Middle Class. “TortureGarden Music. 1978.” Bad Brains—love ‘em. Highly influential. I’m with you there. However, they were not responsible for the first hardcore punk record in America, as much as you’d like a band on your side of America to be the vinyl first-men-on-the-moon for an entire genre of music, it isn’t so. Bad Brains’ “Pay to Cum.” Released: 1979. It’s. On. The. Label. Middle Class are, unquestionably hardcore: lighting fast playing, barely attached melody. Awesome. The only other serious contender, if you’re using a highly subjective slide rule of “influence” to overcome the date pressed directly on the record, like Middle Class just “doesn’t count”? Black Flag’s Nervous Breakdown. October, 1978. My math’s shitty and I get my days of the week wrong all the time, but 1978 was before 1979. Check it. Re-release of the first-ever American hardcore record ever that was getting damn hard and expensive to find. –todd (Frontier)


METHADONES, THE:
Self-titled: 7”
The great thing about The Methadones is their uncanny ability to make polished pop punk songs and somehow pull it off without ever sounding too sanitized. However, this two-track 7” serves up gobs and gobs of layered cheese. Their sound here really resembles the worst parts of modern MxPx. –N.L. Dewart (Underground Communiqué, undercomm.bigcartel.com)


MEAN JEANS:
Are You Serious?: CD
Whoah! The dumb knob is pegged at twelve and it comes with its own party pants. This is making both the Spits and the Trashies look like, well, not like geniuses, but a bit smarter. It’s sorta like if Mad magazine came with a soundtrack or Alfred E. Newman started a band with Stir Crazy-era Gene Wilder and Joey Ramone. Stoooooooooopid with ten “o”s. And I love it, like I love pizza grease running down my arm, the twinge of unmistakable joy when a cube of Pabst is pulled from the supermarket cooler, and watching the opening credits to Blazing Saddles, knowing you’re going to be laughing and rockin’ at the same time for the next little bit of your life. Temporarily dissolve the gloom cloud of reality. Being this dumb and this catchy without being a joke? It’s way harder than it sounds. Direct hit, Mean Jeans. –todd (Dirtnap)


LOVETAPS:
Love ‘Em or Leave ‘Em b/w Goodbye Sunshine: 45
The first time i heard this a-side, i really would have sworn that i was listening to some great old punk 45 from late ‘77/early ‘78 ((and, by that, i mean a REAL punk 45 from an ACTUAL band who might’ve recorded two songs in the real world in late ‘77/early ‘78, not some leopard-spotted-safety-pin cartoon thing that likely only happened in your imagination))—catchy tune, slightly underproduced, dueling pub-rockish guitars, occasionally incomprehensible lyrics that seem good, even though you really have idea what the fuck he’s saying ((though i’m about 90 percent sure that “don’t you ever come out alone?” is the hook))—it just seemed no-frills classic, like the songs on that Beggar’s Banquet “Streets” compilation ((which remains one of my favorite punk comps to this day)) or something. I was actually kinda dumbfounded when i found out it was a modern band, though, with repeated listening, i’m not so sure what i found so dumbfinding about that. IT JUST HAS THE ESSENCE OF CLASSIC-NESS, DUDE. B-side is more of a downtempo sixties moper, which seems to be a growing trend amongst b-sides these days. Amazingly nowhere cover art will require extra diligence on the part of the consumer; i assure you that there is no possible way you will take notice of this record in a 45 bin unless you are specifically hunting for it. SO SPECIFICALLY HUNT FOR IT! BEST SONG: “Love ‘Em or Leave ‘Em” BEST SONG TITLE: Both song titles—AND the cover art—suck. Yet i assure you it is a great record! I also assure you we are open. FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: Insert features an image taken from the “Where No Man Has Gone Before” episode of Star Trek, which was, in fact, the show’s second pilot and the first episode with Captain Kirk. –norb (Super Secret)


LOVE SONGS:
Another Guaranteed 40 Minute Music Set: LP
Mark this up as not necessarily Love Songs’ fault; that our date didn’t go so well due to mismatched personalities. 1.) Metal guitar virtuosity and I do not get along. I’m unimpressed by Eddie Van Halen mostly due to having to choke his licks down from blunt overexposure from sixth to twelfth grade, growing up in a rural high desert town. 2.) Spam Records-style rockin’. Oh, it’s rockin’, but it’s jokey and then not jokey, and I’m often left shruggin’ and not compulsively pulling those records out and playing them all the way through. Is that broccoli fencing on that dude’s belt buckle? Yup. 3.) “Weird Al” Yanokovic-style spasticality from song-to-song and inside of songs. Is that a well-played trombone? Oh, yes, it is. Is that a held falsetto? Why, yes, it is. Was that a genuine guitar solo? (See 1.) Everything is played, recorded, and mastered exceptionally well, and although I’m trying to not let it get to me, I’m getting annoyed. Sorry. I’m sure they’re just having a lot of fun. –todd (Little Deputy)


LITTLE FYODOR:
Peace Is Boring: CD

Little Fyodor muses about death, sickness, war, uncomfortable clothes, and sucky friends on Peace Is Boring. Little Fyodor’s eclectic choice of topics is as kooky as his live stage show, where he performs with “Lady Babushka.” Fyodor dresses in righteous psychedelic throwback suits and has a head full of untamable red, white-man fro hair while he relentlessly blasts through his crazy songs. I’m a fan of his style. Take the track on this album, “All My Clothes Are Uncomfortable.” It seems like nothing more than an annoying forty-eight-bar mantra, but one has to listen to the very end of the song to understand he was only repeating the song title over and over to make a metaphor for his friendships with the line, “All my friends are irresponsible. They’re either too loose or too tight.” Fyodor has been kicking his brand independent punk around Denver for a long time and—if you’re like me and like unabashedly crazy music—he won’t disappoint you.

–N.L. Dewart (Public Eyesore)


MAYFLOWER:
Lighter Fluid: 7"
I love reviewing records that fit what I call The Razorcake Sound: pop punk with gruff vocals, played as if the band’s lives depended on rocking it. I implore you readers to check it out and then I get that satisfying feeling like when you set two cool friends up on a date and they start going out, or you take a buddy with specific taste in food to a favorite restaurant and they love it. So, there you have it. Mayflower is from upstate New York. They pound out three songs of melodic punk. I wish they’d come to Chicago and play with Canadian Rifle and some iteration of This Is My Fist. I just took a break from writing this review to get up and play this record again. –CT Terry (Mayflower)


MAYYORS:
Deads: 12” EP
Bloody, fleshy, mechanical sounds cranked through amps and instruments with primal, nauseating beauty. The self-disgust of mankind—200,000 years of displeasure—takes the form of annihilated garage punk. The day before I saw them play, the bass player had accidentally cracked a girl’s head open during their set. They  were shaken up, but it was still barn burner of a set. –Daryl Gussin (Self-released)


LET’S DANCE:
Calling All Cars: 7” EP
Although i gotta give ‘em points for bringing back my favorite punk rock 7” format—the “Nervous Breakdown” single-song A-side and triple-song B-side—i got to say that this is the least “Let’s Dance”-y sounding Let’s Dance i could imagine without making bizarre leaps of improbable fancy involving heavily plumaged Brazilian Oi showgirl bands recreating Busby Berkeley musicals on mounds of sacrificed goat corpses ((which might, come to think of it, sound at least tangentially “Let’s Dance”-y at that)). I mean, it’s basically a bunch of fast punk bellyaching about the cops and shit…there’s a little organ at the beginning of “Out On Top,” but Chris Montezishness this, in large part, ain’t. The “hit”—4:17 worth of single song A-side—is “Calling All Cars,” which starts with an intriguing, almost “Six Pack”-esque slowly accelerating build up, replete with police sirens. It’s pretty fuckin’ cool for the first minute, really, until the proceedings proceed for such duration as to lead the listener to speculate as to the likelihood of “Calling All Cars” being a ((gasp!)) four-minute plus punk instrumental. Somewhere around the 1:50 mark, the vocals actually and finally kick in; alas, the verbal juice—the roundly unbrilliant “THEY’RE CALLING CARS! THEY’RE CALLING CARS! THEY’RE CALLING ALL CARS”—ain’t really worth the squeeze at this point, so the last two-thirds of the song really never has a chance to live up to the bold promise extended by the first third ((note clever Neal Cassady reference)). Generally, it kinda sounds like the Methadones taking remote mental control of Rites of Spring’s bodies or something…i don’t necessarily dislike it but this band leaves me more interested in spot varnishing than dancing at this point. BEST SONG: “Calling All Cars” ((well, at least the first part)) BEST SONG TITLE: “X-Ray Eyes” FANTASTIC AMAZING TRIVIA FACT: My favorite thing to yell before the break in the song “Let’s Dance” is “Okay, Web-head!” –norb (No Front Teeth)


LEGION / MAMMOTH GRINDER:
Split: 7"
This is a good example of a split release done right. Legion from Birmingham, AL (members of Die Young and Coliseum) and Mammoth Grinder from Austin, TX (members of Hatred Surge) both play heavy, fast hardcore music in similar styles, but each are strong enough to hold their own on their respective sides. Legion follow up their debut 7”, Saviour, with two brand new tracks of intense, stop-and-start hardcore with great dual guitar arrangements—as well as killer bass lines throughout—with a strong Integrity influence. The vocals are absolutely livid. Mammoth Grinder are a little more straight forward but still have a lot of range and remind me of an American Cripple Bastards. They have a new album coming out soon on Relapse and tons of tours, so watch out! –Ian Wise –Guest Contributor (Nuclear Solution, nuclearsolution.blogspot.com)


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